- cypherpunks-legacy - lists.cpunks.org

State of the Nation [-]
by nobody＠REPLAY.COM 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE----- - -----BEGIN TERRORIST PLAINTEXT MUNITION MESSAGE----- Version: 6.66 State of the Nation by Jo Min Ivan See Johnny run. See Spot run. See Spot the friendly wolf-hybrid bite Johnny in the ass. Johnny can't read. Johnny Kant spel too good neither. Johnny is graded on a curve. See Johnny get an 'A' on his next test. Johnny works for minimum wage at Wall-Dart. Most of Johnny's customers use their credit cards to go into even more debt. See Johnny give incorrect change when someone payz with cash. Johnny Kant Kount. Read Johnny's employer's policy of giving discounts to debit card customers. See the airport security body scanner at the front door of the store. See the security camera in the dressing rooms. Johnny feels very very safe. Johnny feels goatees are cool. Johnny feels that Trent and Kurdt are GOD. Johnny is sooooo alternative. Johnny has an AOL account. Johnny feels nipple rings are passe. Johnny wants to pierce his tooth with a power drill. Johnny attends public school. Johnny feels good about himself. Johnny wants to work for the government when he growz up. Johnny hearz it ain't too hard to get a job with guvmint. Johnny is functionally illiterate, apathetic, and proud of it. Johnny doesn't know the Bill of Rights from a Bill of Goods. Johnny's teacher works for the government. Johnny's teacher votes for higher taxes. Johnny's teacher thinks the Declaration of Independence is really an Entitlement to Dependence. Hear Johnny's teacher complain about pornographers during her cigarette break. See Johnny point his browser in the library to WWW.BARELY14_CYBERSLUT_LUST.NL.CUM Johnny kant unnerstan what he reedz. Johnny knowz what consolez are. Johnny knows how to get around NetGranny. See Johnny's teacher's Ben-Her balls fall out of her purse in the cafeteria. See Johnny's classmate put a fresh tape in the hidden video camera in his teacher's bedroom. Johnny's teacher is dropping her kids off at soccer practice. Johnny's teacher puts naughty things into her mouth when her children are at soccer practice. See Johnny's coins fall out of his pocket when he hops into the minivan. Johnny feels carrying cash and coins is a nuisance. Johnny doesn't know $1,000 Federal Reserve Notes were ever printed. See Johnny carry a dozen credit cards in his pocket. Johnny doesn't know FRN's were ever backed with anything other than empty promises and more debt. See Johnny's digitized picture on his SmartCard. Johnny doesn't know guvmint's promise to redeem FRN's with lawful money was nothing more than an empty lie. Johnny feels only drug dealers carry $100 bills. By Johnny's logic all of his ancestors were drug dealers. All of his ancestors should be dug up and thrown in jail where they belong; laws should be applied retroactively, don't you know. Johnny has never bought a rifle with a 1000 Franc note. Johnny has never bought a rifle. Johnny has never seen a silver dollar. See the ill-tempered bureaucrat at DMV take Johnny's fingerprints. See Johnny get his retina scanned. See Johnny apply for his Interstate Access TollCard. See Johnny's complete life history updated on his SmartCard. See the convicted pedophile on the state payroll enter Johnny's vital statistics into the DMV database. See the pedophile cross-reference several hundred guvmint and private sector databases to confirm that Johnny is not an illegal alien. The pedophile is glad, he prefers little white boys to molest when he gets out of jail again for the 3rd time. Johnny just got his first drivers license. Johnny is very very happy. See Johnny crash the family minivan into a tree. See Johnny's bong tip over. See Johnny harm the environment. See Johnny contribute to deforestation. See Johnny traumatized; mommy says he's can't drive again for six months. See Johnny traumatized; he can't get laid in the back of the minivan for six more months. See Johnny attend a tree-sensitivity group therapy session for traumatized youth. See Johnny promise to be tolerant and compassionate towards all of Mother Earth's creations. See Johnny pledge to help plug the ozone hole. See Johnny pledge to help stop global warming. See Johnny pray to God to please stop El Nino and world hunger. See Johnny pledge to do his part for sustainable development. See Johnny pledge to help fight off the coming alien invasion. Johnny feels empowered. Johnny feels a sense of unity with the global village. See Johnny promise never to own an assault weapon. See Johnny's cousin smuggle black-market CFC's across the Mexican border. Johnny's teacher tells the class that AIDS-infected crackheads are victims of societal neglect. Johnny's teacher tells the class that teenage girls who have sex with AIDS-infected crackheads in exchange for drugs are victims of societal neglect. Johnny's teacher feels that lack of sufficient sex education funding is an ongoing national crisis. Johnny wonders if any of the cheerleaders like to take drugs. See Johnny's teacher hand out strawberry-flavored condoms. See many of the students complain that they aren't banana-flavored. See the student body president complain the school is discriminating against third-world tropical fruit pickers. A lawsuit is threatened. See the feminist activist protest the discrimination against lesbians. A hunger strike is threatened. Johnny's teacher explains the school ran out of dental dams and butt plugs because mean-spirited rich people voted down the tax increase. Johnny's mommy is afraid of scary-looking black guns. Johnny's mommy wants the government to prevent her children or anyone else from being able to read messages written by people using anonymous remailers and other terrorists who own scary-looking black guns. Johnny feels Nazis who own scary-looking black guns are bad, bad people. Johnny knows that all people without badges and battering rams who own scary-looking black guns are Nazis. Johnny knows this because expert telejournalists report based on their interviews of expert professional fund-raisers that all people who own scary-looking black guns are Nazis; so it must be true. Johnny doesn't know the first thing about proper firearms safety. Johnny's been taught at school to run away very very fast when he sees a gun and tell a responsible adult right away so that a responsible BATF agent riding in an armored personnel carrier can go confiscate it. Johnny's idea of field-stripping is taking his girlfriends' bra and panties off on the soccer field. See Johnny's uncle shoot his friend in the foot while cleaning a loaded handgun. Johnny's congressman wants to pass a law to confiscate any handgun a child sees. Studies have shown the image of scary-looking black guns alters a young innocent child's brain development forever and scars them for life. Based on this study, the editorial board of the Suburba Sun Times urges all owners of scary-looking black guns to turn them in in exchange for twenty lottery tickets and a donation of fifty dollars made in the Nazi's name to the National Public Radio pledge drive. The Suburba Sun Times endorses the congressman's Child Handgun Viewing Prevention Safety Act. Johnny's congressman's armed security detail is issued brand new scary-looking black guns. Johnny's dad feels more prisons need to be built for evil drug dealers and money launderers. Johnny's uncle is an unemployed ex-prison guard. Johnny's uncle owes Johnny's dad money. Johnny's dad complains about confiscatory taxes. Johnny's dad complains about confiscatory child support payments. Johnny's dad's mistress complains he doesn't buy her enough jewelry. Johnny's dad blew his paycheck on homemade hidden-camera porno videos. Johnny hears on the news that people who smoke cigarettes, get cancer and then die are victims of evil tobacco companies. Hear Johnny's dad tell his buddies pot-smokers should be locked up for life. See Johnny's dad guzzle beer with his buddies during the football game. See Johnny's dad get pretty damn drunk. See Johnny's dad drive up to the 24-7 to buy another case of Schmeister. Johnny's dad's buddies finished the pizza that arrived before he got back. See Johnny's dad's buddy's enormous beer-belly. See it giggle when he walks. See Johnny's dad's buddy call Pizza Shack to order another one for himself. See Johnny's dad's buddy drink Diet Choke. See Johnny's dad's buddy eat potato chips made with an FDA approved fat substitute. How can you see anything with all the cigar and cigarette smoke in the room? Listen to Johnny's dad's buddy fart up a storm. Johnny hears the government say that money launderers are very, very bad people. Johnny feels money launderers must be almost as bad as PGP exporters and other terrorists he keeps hearing about. Johnny doesn't understand what it is exactly that money launderers do, but if the government and the media say it's bad, then it must be very very bad. Johnny feels it must be even worse than what murderers and child molesters and cryptographers do. After all, his uncle says money launderers stay in jail longer than murderers and child molesters, right? Johnny feels, after all, crackheads and child molesters can't control what they do, but people who keep money hidden away from the government, well, that's very, _VERY_ bad. Johnny feels if there are too many money launderers, he might be forced to have to use SmartCard to buy _his own_ strawberry-flavored condoms. Johnny feels that would suck. See Johnny's dad open a letter from his political party asking for contributions and investments for our children. The politician writes to Johnny's dad that if Johnny's dad gives him enough investment capital, the politician will be elected, then he can form a bipartisan coalition of concerned politicians to finally declare martial law to crack down on money launderers and other terrorists. The politician says it is Johnny's dad's duty to contribute to the cause. Johnny's dad writes a check for $999.99 made out to the Republicrat Peoples Party of America. Johnny's dad delivers the check personally to the party office. He ran out of stamps and doesn't like to go to the post office anyway for fear of getting shot. The politician calls his buddy at the IRS. Johnny's dad's scheduled audit is cancelled. The check bounces. The politician deposits the money in his Swiss bank account after routing it through multiple dummy corporations via cross-continent swaps and a chain of wire-transfers performed by cut-out surrogates. Strangely enough, during this time, the FINCEN Transactional Analysis Software was down for maintenance. So was INTERFIPOL's. How 'bout that? Johnny's dad picks up the remote and starts to channel-surf. Johnny's dad's mistress is watching the Jerry Stringer show. Today's show is titled "A Dominatrix needs love too; a servant's Christmas guide to buying harnesses, dildos and lubricant for that special someone." See Johnny's aunt go to the 24-7 to buy lottery tickets. Johnny's aunt doesn't have a bank account and cashes her government checks at a check cashing service. Johnny's aunt buys several money orders to send to distant relatives in the Czech Republic. FINCEN goons suspect she is a money launderer. Johnny's aunt buys a carton of cigarettes with her food stamps. She gets into her old beater and drives off. Johnny's aunt has a smile on her face. At that moment a low-elevation spy satellite is passing over the 24-7. A bored NSA spook is watching Johnny's aunt, too. He thinks to himself 'That Jerry Stringer show was much more interesting than this crap. If she's a money launderer, I'm Al Capone.' Johnny's aunt wants to play bingo at the church fundraiser tonight. The church is a thirty minute drive from the 24-7 if she gets on the interstate. Since she doesn't have a TollCard, or a driver's license for that matter, she decides to take the arterial roads. Johnny's aunt is feeling very lucky. She'll review her encrypted forwarded statements from Robber Barron Bank, Grand Cayman branch, afterwards. See Johnny's mommy stuff her face with cookies and cake. See Johnny's mommy go to the instant-no-effort weight loss clinic. See Johnny's mommy watch the nice network news anchor tell her about a new approved breakthrough magic weight loss wonder drug pill. See the nice multinational pharmaceutical's commercial promoting the revolutionary miracle cure for those victimized by obesity. Johnny's mommy thinks, at last, I can stuff my face with all the munchies I wanna eat, and still look thinner than a heroin junkie. Johnny's mommy rolls her own joints. See Johnny's sister pick up the remote. She starts to channel surf. See Johnny's sister watch a breast-implant infomercial. See Johnny's mommy pop two pen-pen pills. Johnny's mommy needs heart surgery. See the extremist doctor invent an effective treatment for pen-pen induced heart problems. See the FDA not approve the treatment. See the FDA helicopter gunships strafe the extremist terrorist doctor's clinic and confiscate his property. See Johnny's mommy get liposuction. Johnny's mommy feels socialized medicine is a right. She is relieved to hear the government has dictated that liposuction is covered under her health plan since it is approved and not done for cosmetic reasons. The government doctor that Johnny has a license to receive treatment from has some very very disturbing news. While the super-duper-penicillin will probably kill off the super-penicillin resistant strain of syphilis he's picked up, there is an eight month waiting list for a week's supply at the government-run pharmacy. Even worse, the wonder drug that was supposed to be able to treat that nasty rash on his private parts has been recalled because, although effective at removing herpes, it had the unfortunate side effect of causing male reproductive organs to shrivel up and fall off. Labeled "Lorena's Solution" by the press, several lawsuits are now pending. A spokesman for Cure My Willy LLC, had no comment. 'There's nothing more I can do except refer you to a qualified counselor." Johnny's assigned doctor said. Something's wrong. Johnny's depressed. Life is tough these days what with all the drug-dealing gun-toting money-laundering anonymous-remailing cash-using message-encrypting mean-spirited insensitively-polluting insufficiently-contributing pornography-consuming tax-evading conspiracy-theorizing uncompassionate-hateful-moral-values-imposing constitutionalist-reactionary-isolationist-survivalist bomb-building-fertilizer-buying right-wing-fanatical terrorist cells running around out there tormenting Johnny and posing a threat to all the other little children we must protect from harm. Johnny's mommy is upset. It's not supposed to be this dangerous living in a social democracy like ours. Johnny's mommy decides to get involved. She forms She forms M.A.E.D.; Mothers Against Everything Dangerous. Johnny's mommy is empowered now. Journalists quote her as an authoritative source when they write their stories. MAED is getting laws passed. Good things are happening. But something's still wrong. Johnny's still depressed. What could it be? He won't talk to me about it. Johnny's mommy is frantic, she does what any decent responsible parent would do under the circumstances, Johnny's mommy e-mails her congressman: NONE OF US ARE SAFE. DO SOMETHING. ANYTHING. MAKE IT GO AWAY! NOW!!!! Johnny's therapist knows what's wrong with him. He knows just what Johnny needs. But lobotomies are not politically-correct. So we'll put Johnny on Shitalin. Johnny can cope now. Ahhh, isn't Johnny adorable? Look how calm he is. Johnny's goverment thinks Johnny is a model citizen. They'll pay for the Shitalin. Poorzac, too, if he wants it. No waiting list for those drugs. Everyone knows we must all give up our freedom to protect The Children. Anything for the Children. Like Johnny. We must make sacrifices jor Johnny. There is too much freedom. And not enough protection for The Children. If we don't do something now what does the future hold for all the Children? Children are our most precious resource. The Children are the future. Like Johnny... We can save them. Join MAED now won't you... - -----END TERRORIST PLAINTEXT MUNITION MESSAGE----- © Copyright November 1997-2067 Jo Min Ivan. All Rights Reserved. This touching bit of agitprop brought to you by: POL POT CHUCK & Associates "Exterminating the unarmed, socialist intelligentsia since 1917." Pol Pot Chuck sayz: Learn how to plant evidence, explosives and informants: Support your local N.G.O. -----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE----- Version: 2.6.2 Charset: noconv iQCVAgUBNF6qelDd8XfHqloRAQFNxAP+JyLpZQE4gOb3ZgwwZBWq/D9wn7+fvz3R hs2zX/icFhL0YVh25foarIxEWEOBue8NY3D2xJdoXW4UZdZZtWUga0MnBjDyhUo5 /iIV1s7douE7JAWk98GXd8vSjui3DpP5c5DB6frF+xOJ9LPiXoNnowWLae27noQJ Y8hkl8b+RTU= =WI9v -----END PGP SIGNATURE-----

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RE: Bell vs. Woodward--justice?
by rab＠stallion.oz.au 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

Tim May wrote: > Apparently shaking a baby to death is a lesser crime than opposing > government fascism and having a continuing interest in chemistry. > > And people wonder why the militia movement is gaining strength every > day. > > The au pair Louise Woodward will serve less time in jail than Jim Bell > will. While Bell languishes in a Washington state jail, awaiting (for > almost 7 months!!) his sentence, the convicted babykiller is now free. > > I guess having a couple of fake SS tattoos, er, "numbers," and > possibly opening a vial of mercaptin where some people would smell it, > is a more serious crime than shaking a baby to death. > > Only in Amerika. > > Lock and load. > > --Tim May > Here in Australia the media has been giving this trial regular coverage with the spin "Innocent English Person Wrongly Found Guilty by US Jury". The coverage led me to believe that despite scientific evidence to the contrary the jury found Woodward guilty. One other point from the coverage was that Woodward represented herself for at least some part of the trial, did Jim Bell do this too? Obviously Tim you have been exposed to very different media coverage. RAB

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Mixmaster Port Question
by James F. Marshall 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE----- The DOS version of Mixmaster requires Private Idaho. Does a more generic version, not dependent on Private Idaho, exist? Has Mixmaster been ported to OS/2? - -- James F. Marshall, Esq., Pasadena, California Subject "JFM Public Key" for PGP Public Key - -- OS/2 is to Windows as Stradivarius is to Yamaha -----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE----- Version: 2.6.2 iQCVAwUBNGejajbjGennrhqZAQEsSQQAjQubYRR5ZBPSan3a6mxA+RN5kRmnRpTJ cOOy1azCBDc938uZ5KQhOjePFfXtyb6aTCvu/5zQzqF5O7j3PyfTOZihSF4b56Tl LUk7N2u7r4sQ2aXDJalTmN/+7OxMdMNu6pXCwFSx5HWD5w6JdmpNi4MAGY0jboxU fUndeczgeZg= =Hdkt -----END PGP SIGNATURE-----

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....GUILT FREE HOLIDAYS !!
by healthy1＠bellatlantic.net 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

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Without changing dietary or exercise habits over a 6-week period, subjects in separate studies lost an average of 23% body fat or approximately 4.4 pounds of fat, and increased lean body mass by 1.5 pounds. People over the age of 46 did better and women seemed to do the best! People with elevated cholesterol levels averaged a 10% drop in LDL cholesterol! WHAT'S IN THERMO-LIFT? Chromium Picolinate, Bee Pollen, Astralagus, Licorice Root, Ginger Root, Rehmannia Root, Siberian Ginseng, Ma Huang Extract, Gotu Kola, Bladderwrack, White Willow Bark, Guarana Extract and Reishi Mushroom. THE INGREDIENTS Chromium Picolinate: Three million readers of Cosmopolitan read a discussion of Chromium Picolinate's value for dieters under the headline, "A Miracle Mineral?" The cholesterol-reducing effect of Chromium Picolinate was highlighted in Ladies Home Journal. Longevity magazine has praised it as a safe alternative to anabolic steroids. A large number of publications for athletes and health food shoppers have also run feature articles on Chromium Picolinate, including: Prevention, Today's Living, Total Health, and Muscular Development. Bee Pollen: Effective for combating fatigue, depression, and colon disorder. Licorice Root: Beneficial for hypoglycemia, stress, colds, bronchitis, and inflammation. Ginger Root: Used for colitis, nausea, gas, indigestion, hot flashes, and menstrual cramps. Rehmannia Root: Used to treat anemia, fatigue, and to promote the healing of bones. Siberian Ginseng: Good source of energy and endurance, as well as physical and mental vigor. Ma Huang Extract: Helps to increase energy, improves circulation, controls appetite and is used as a decongestant. The Chinese use it for treatment of asthma and other respiratory disorders. Gotu Kola: Aids in the elimination of excess fluids, fights fatigue, and depression. Bladderwrack: Promotes a healthy thyroid; stimulates blood circulation. 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I want ___ bottles of Thermo-Lift (60 capsules) at $29.95 each: $_______ YES! I want ___ bottles of Changes NOW (90 capsules) at $29.95 ea.: $_______ Shipping and Handling ($3.00 for 1-3 bottles, add $1.00 for each additional bottle): $ 3.00 Total Amount Enclosed (Payable to Rella Bourn): $ _________ Ship To: Name _________________________________________ Address _______________________________________ City, State, Zip __________________________________ Phone _________________________________________ E-Mail Address __________________________________ Code CEG Thank you for your order! Drop us a line and let us know how you like it! *************************************************** The information contained here was derived from many medical, nutritional and media sources and is for informational and educational purposes only. No medical claims are implied or intended. Testimonies are offered voluntarily and are not paid for. Your results may vary. Consult a physician before using Thermo-Lift if you have high blood pressure, are pregnant, lactating, or are being treated for a medical condition. ***************************************************

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Re: Bell vs. Woodward--justice?
by nobody＠REPLAY.COM 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

rab(a)stallion.oz.au wrote: > Tim May wrote: > > The au pair Louise Woodward will serve less time in jail than Jim Bell > > will. While Bell languishes in a Washington state jail, awaiting (for > > almost 7 months!!) his sentence, the convicted babykiller is now free. > > > > I guess having a couple of fake SS tattoos, er, "numbers," and > > possibly opening a vial of mercaptin where some people would smell it, > > is a more serious crime than shaking a baby to death. > Here in Australia the media has been giving this trial regular coverage > with the spin "Innocent English Person Wrongly Found Guilty by US Jury". > The coverage led me to believe that despite scientific evidence to the > contrary the jury found Woodward guilty. One other point from the > coverage was that Woodward represented herself for at least some part of > the trial, did Jim Bell do this too? It was apparent to many Canadians that the au pair would be found guilty of having 'traditional British Reserve.' The American system of justice is nothing more than a dog-and-pony show, particularly in hi-profile cases. The dumb British kid was under some mistaken impression that the trial would be based on facts. The prosecution could have mounted as good or better a case against the child's parents. (Two physicians that don't notice that their child has suffered a fractured wrist and skull? No wonder they were so hot to have the girl convicted.) The Judge knows damn well that reasonable doubt was visibly established, and I suspect he's trying to get everyone out of the mess as quickly and easily as possible. Bell's case is different. He was villainized within the court system and there was little chance of it going to trial, unless he managed to find an attorney who never wanted to win another case. Bell's public defender turned down outside offeres of assistance from veteran attorneys, and Bell was kept under wraps. My guess is that Bell was the first Cypherpunk to receive the coming digital implants. MongerUnit #2347

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More Crypto Statements
by John Young 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

>From November 9 Congressional Record: Rep. Sherman on encryption exports and domestic controls: http://jya.com/sher-crypto.txt (15K) Rep. Dreier on need for strong encryption to protect national security: http://jya.com/dreier-crypto.txt (4K) ---------- Declan, anyone, is this flood of statements due to an industry campaign, or one by Majortiy Leader Lott, or Speaker Gingrich, or a combination, or what? What's your insider intel, Declan, will these initiatives continue into the next session or are they just cheap dues paying for the moment, while getting ready to sellout when the rain of if-you-knew-what-we've-been-briefed shit showers down next year? What's Kerrey, McCain, Solomon counter-campaigning with the TLAs?

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Check in with us!
by Turn.on.Inn＠25152.com 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

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Re: Gun Control brings on a New Arms Race
by Blanc 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

Tim May wrote: >All I bought were some lasers, some .223 vest-piercers, and a few special >parts for my Colt HBAR. Oh, and I took delivery on a so-called "assault >pistol"--30 rounds of .223 rifle ammunition in a package that fits under an >overcoat. I'll be ready for the November Raids. .............................................. If we ever get into a real domestic war, I wanna go stay with Tim, what with that arsenal stocked in his closet. :>) .. Blanc

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RE: Bell vs. Woodward--justice?
by John Young 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

There's been movement in Jim Bell's penal situation which is being looked into (not by me). Details coming soon.

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Re: Bell vs. Woodward--justice?
by nobody＠REPLAY.COM 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

MongerUnit #2347 writes: >It was apparent to many Canadians that the au pair would be found guilty >of having 'traditional British Reserve.' The American system of justice >is nothing more than a dog-and-pony show, particularly in hi-profile >cases. The dumb British kid was under some mistaken impression that >the trial would be based on facts. No doubt their decision to hire Barry Scheck was based on his quiet, gentle demeanor in front of a jury.

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