December 2003 - cypherpunks-legacy

Secure Cell Phones for State
by John Young 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

U.S. State Dept Press Briefing today: Briefer: James Rubin Now, I have a piece of show-and-tell for you, which I do rarely around here. But I thought this was interesting enough, even for you cynical and jaded journalists. This is a secure cell phone. Lieutenant General Kenneth Minihan, Director of the National Security Agency, presented Secretary Albright with a bank of Motorola Cipher-Tac 2000 security modules to provide secure cellular communications. This state of the art secure voice cellular technology will offer the highest level of security wherever and whenever the Secretary and her top advisors need to protect their communications. So when you see us carrying this beast around, rather than the slim-line phones we usually like to use, you'll know that's because we're trying to have a secure call. That is not only for the obvious good reason that we want to make sure nobody is interfering, but we also want to make sure that nobody is making transcripts and passing them around for a variety of perfidious reasons. So this here is the original, first secure cell phone to be delivered to Secretary Albright, and we thought you guys might get a kick out of that. ----- Would anyone know the security technology of this unit and its support system? And how it compares to those of competitors in the US and outside?

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Guilty by definition...
by TruthMonger 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

A poor fool who didn't realize that he had sealed his own fate by responding to someone who had already ratted him out for a shot of Scotch with a beer chaser wrote: >For God's sake, another key; I'm gonna need a separate >floppy to track just you keys. >But it's worth it; we bros. Official Law Enforcement Dictionary bro - 1. Co-conspirator 2. Accessory 3. Poor bastard who just fell in with the wrong company, and will probably spend the rest of his life in prison as a result of innocently replying to a UCE email titled, "How To Make Big $$$ At Home, Licking Your Own Nuts."

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The Company That Pays Me Need Help
by lei＠xaq.com 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

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by Salvatore A. Ingaro 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

join

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by YAY383 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

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Dudley DoRightMonger Driven From Home By Armed Thugs?
by TruthMonger 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

Poor Dudley seems to have been evicted from his spiritual home at http://www3.sk.sympatico.ca/carljohn/rcmphate/rcmphate.html . As a matter of fact, the whole http://www3.sk.sympatico.ca/carljohn website seems to have mysteriously disappeared into thin air, for no apparent reason. Since the nice people at Sympatico have never shown any propensity for fascist oppression of their users, as far as I know, I fear that perhaps they have fallen victim to the Dangerous Armed Thugs who have stolen my computer and my cute little nephew's computer. (Of course, I don't have any firsthand knowledge that the Armed Thugs are truly responsible for theft of my nephew's computer, since whoever the thief was who stole it, like most criminals, failed to leave any sign of his/her presence except for the obvious violation of my privacy. Thus I am assuming that perhaps the devious, criminal ordinary citizens who informed me of the intrusion of the Dangerous Armed Thugs into my home were not just lying through their teeth, as Judges always rule they do when their testimony and broken bones are in conflict with the Official Version Of The Truth (TM) told by the Dangerous Armed Thugs.) I certainly hope that the nice Sympatico people weren't threatened by the Dangerous Armed Thug who robbed me at gunpoint, on behalf of a drug-dealing car thief and violent armed robber. I fear that this may be the case, however, since they have never contacted me to express any concerns about the webpages where I store works I have authored, and portions of works in progress. I suppose that the Dangerous Armed Thugs backed up their veiled threats of violence with outrageously blatant Lies such as those that poured forth in huge torrents from the Evil Lying Mouths of the Costumes Offals at the Regway, SK, meatspace border crossing when they stole my laptop and other possessions without being able to offer any explaination as to why they were doing so, other than the unspoken and obvious fact that they are Dangerous Armed Thugs and I am just a Piece Of Shit Citizen who is expected to fucking well take whatever they choose to dish out to me, without resistance. I suppose that the best thing I can do with Dudley DoRightMonger is to help him to flee to the Soviet Union, where the Armed Thugs are less dangerous because they are freelancers, and can be bought by both the government *and* the citizens. (True Free Enterprise!) Thank Dog that there are still places like Russia, where free speech is still possible, and where the creative juices of the muse can still flow freely, out of the reach of the Violent Dangerous Armed Thugs in Canada who stand ready and willing to oppress and murder anyone who looks or acts differently than themselves. I guess if I was a Wagon-Burner, I would already be dead... TruthMonger

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Please let Dudley sleep under your roof for a while...
by TruthMonger 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

The Official Royal Canadian Mounted Police HATE Page Kudos of the week go to Constable Dave Voller, who legally murdered a gun-toting Wagon-Burner and the nine year old future glue-sniffer clinging to her skirt. Congrats, Dave. A hundred points for the woman, and five hundred for the kid... This is a good time to remind RCMP Officers across Canada that, despite our long history of exercising a strong hand (and an even stronger nightstick ;?) in keeping the Wagon-Burners from storming the gates of white society, current social and legal trends make it necessary for us to take every step necessary to cover our ass when we take those measures needed to keep them in their proper physical place (the reservation) and to keep them in their proper attitudinal place even when they remain in their proper physical place. Remember that the procedures that we have put in place are for your protection, and that if you stay within our guidelines, you can pretty much waste as many Wagon-Burners as you wish, without suffering legal consequences. Constable Voller followed proper procedure in charging right into a volatile situation with no backup, so that there would be no possibility of conflicting stories from other officers invited to participate in the adrenaline high involved. He also had the foresight to waste the bitch with a shotgun, so that a wide enough target area would be covered to take care of any potential witnesses whose stories would not be subject to government pressure as to their content. Rest assured that if you murder a Wagon-Burner according to proper procedure, that the members we claim not to be able to spare to supervise a potentially deadly encounter with Wagon-Burners will suddenly become available to pore over the murder site and absolve you of any wrongdoing. A host of spin-doctors will also suddenly appear to remind the head Wagon-Burners that 'good relations' with the Federal Government are conditional on 'going along to get along.' The RCMP Officers of the Wild, Wild West continue to lead the way in keeping the Wagon-Burners constantly on the run, no matter how far they run to try to escape. The Estevan Detachment of the RCMP is living up to their long tradition of effectively using other arms of law enforcement to effectively harass Wagon-Burners while using a minimum of Federal resources. You undoubtedly remember last year's article about the member of the City of Estevan Police Department who was successful in getting the courts to uphold his own brand of Frontier Justice for decades, until he made the mistake of using a 'real' informant, thus making his cases vulnerable to conflicting testimony as to his questionable activities. As we reported, the prosecutor was able to railroad a couple of kids who were represented by incompetent legal aide lawyers, by having the arresting officer help to mentally muscle them outside the presence of legal counsel, but the #1 Wagon-Burner on the local yokel's list was not able to be railroaded at that time. We reported with pride on the Estevan Detachment of the RCMP helping that same local officer to once again set up the Wagon-Burner by helping in the operation while staying out of the main action, so that the Wagon-Burner and his White-Whore Wife were financially broken to the point where they had to cop a plea. Due to the Estevan Detachment's foresight, they didn't "get any on 'em" when the local yokel finally got his chain yanked on bogus grounds that protected the City of Estevan from taking any responsibility for his years of abuse of authority. To bring you up to date, not only is the Wagon-Burners oldest little glue-sniffer currently being railroaded on criminal charges, but the Estevan RCMP are once again setting a fire under the Wagon-Burner's ass by supporting the Provincial Game Warden's persecution of the Wagon-Burner for daring to hunt on the land that we stole from him, once again saving Federal dollars from having to be used to finance their dirty work. Today's Humor: "First they came for the Wagon-Burners, but I was not a Wagon-Burner, so I didn't speak up. Then they came for the Revisionists, but I was not a Revisionist, so I didn't speak up. Then they came for the Freedom of Speech Advocates, but I was not a Freedom of Speech Advocate, so I did not speak up. "Then they came for the Jews, and I got to put pepper-spray in their Jesus-Killing eyes..." ~ Constable Hettinga "I *love* this country!"

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Ignorance of the Law is No Excuse
by TruthMonger 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

Favorite Courtroom Scene #137: A debate arises over the 'proper interpretation' of a particular law, or section of the law. None of the legal eagles with decades of experience in the study and practice of the law can agree, so the Judge orders a break in the action, whereupon everyone dives into mountains of information contained in both fresh and dusty graven tablets and eventually they all return to the courtroom to further disagree as to what constitutes obeying the law, and what constitutes a violation of the law. Finally, the judge makes a decision (which may be confirmed or overturned in the future by other people with even more years of study and experience in the practice of law) and the defendant becomes an innocent lamb or a fire-breathing devil, according to the judgement. The beautiful insanity of the preceeding is only fully manifested when the defendant protests that he hadn't really meant to transgress against the law of the land, and the Judge, who based her final decision on a single line of legislation enacted in 1854, and not noticed nor referenced since the day it was passed, tells the defendant that "Ignorance of the law is no excuse." [Note: If you are unaware of whether the law in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, requiring pedestrians to walk on the 'right' side of the sidewalk, was or was not recinded, then your qualify as a member of the 'criminal element,' in potential, if not in fact.]

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Official RCMP HateMailer Launched
by RCMP HateMailer 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

[Bienfait Nutly News]Dangerous Armed Thugs sitting in parked cars hiding in the alley behind the CoalDust Saloon, waiting to tax the citizens under the obscenely low breath-alcohol laws in place, celebrated the launching of the 'Official RCMP HateMailer' after the sudden and mysterious disasppearance of the 'Official RCMP Hate Page' at a Sympatico website. The unusually high number of vehicles and officers hanging around the small Saskatchewan town was attributed to a 24-hour watch on the former host of the vanished webpage, in the hope of catching him walking on the left side of the sidewalk and arresting him under authority of a law which applied only to Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, when it was in force, and was recinded years ago. "We weren't notified of the recinding of the law." one of the waiting constables stated, smiling like a banshee. RCMP officers around the country were angered by what they regarded as trickery and betrayal by a scoundrel who had professed support for the concept of a website where officers could freely express their true thoughts, beliefs and feelings, under cover of their webpage being hosted by a known lunatic and forger, thus providing them with deniability in the event of great public outcry. An anonymous constable (whose home phone number is (306)388-2561) told a local reportwhore, as he had him standing on one foot, singing 'God Save The Queen' and skinning a live cat, blindfolded, "The average citizen expects us to harass the riff-raff, the poor, and the people we stole the land from, in order to keep them in their proper place, but the minute we try to give one another postive public support for our personal and group successes, all we get is a ration of shit." His partner, going through the blindfolded reportwhore's truck seat and pocketing the change, added, "You spend years doing the boring grunt work of oppressing the low-life, and suddenly, you get a chance to achieve one of the premiere experiences of your professional career. You get to whack out a WagonBurner. "But just try *bragging* about it." he continued, shaking his head sadly about the hypocritical criticism of the citizens who cry out to be protected from those with less money or social standing than themselves, and then turn around and cry 'shame' when those hired to do the job ask for their efforts to be appreciated. Mounties everywhere were outraged when the website was suddenly Yanked out of Canuck CyberSpace by an unknown entity. Speculation among the RCMP rank and file was that the website host had wiped out the website pages himself, and then concocted a wild conspiracy theory involving police abuse of power and the violation of free speech and the Canadian Charter of Rights. "That fucking asshole son-of-a-bitch is well known for taking facts which can be explained quite simply and using them to build some bizarre, inane story that reflects badly on those in positios of authority. "There was no huge, dark conspiracy to seize his computer and files. The Customs officer at Regway is thinking of buying a laptop, and he simply confiscated the man's computer so that he could try one out for a while before making a decision. The RCMP officers who drove down from Regina to break into his house were just making sure that the place was secure during his absence. They thought they should take his nephew's computer in order to find out if he had any illegally acquired Warez files, so that we could imprison the child and save him from a life of crime. "Conspiracy, my ass...it was just two separate instances of ordinary, everyday abuse of the citizens that he has magnified into some deep, dark plot in order to feed his paranoid fantasies." The general consensus among the drunken, licentious crowd gathered around the Video Lottery machines in the pub was that the man in question was "pretty much toast," since the Mounties 'always get their man,' as a result of many of them coming from small farming communities and having a great deal of experience in 'planting.' Some of average, small town alcoholics were of the opinion that the Official RCMP Hate Page was rather self-serving and vastly overblown, anyway. "That little glue-sniffer that the Mountie whacked out while he was clinging to his momma's skirt was pretty skinny...I doubt that he was worth more than fifty points, max." As I was leaving, the blindfolded reportwhore threw up on the shoes of the officer giving him the drunk-test, and those waiting in line to be humiliated and abused gave him an average of 9.6 for style, 9.8 for presentation, and a perfect 10 for artistic merit, since he had eaten an all-dressed pizza for dinner.

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Is this for REAL?
by nobody＠REPLAY.COM 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

- OFFICIAL RCMP HATEMAILER - "Police physicians still slap newborn babies on their soft little bottoms because they know that this new little citizen will eventually be guilty of _something_!" - This message is NOT from from some namby-pamby, pacifist citizen who bitches and whines every time that Canada hosts foreign dictators who know how to keep their citizens in line (to conserve the firing squad's bullets). It was remailed by *real* men and women who have the guts to make citizens *pay* for attempting to draw attention to non-official viewpoints and values by assaulting them with potentially deadly toxix substances. Send all complaints and requests for blocking to: <PRESIDENT(a)WHITEHOUSE.GOV>. -

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