December 2003 - cypherpunks-legacy

Please let Dudley sleep under your roof for a while...
by TruthMonger 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

The Official Royal Canadian Mounted Police HATE Page Kudos of the week go to Constable Dave Voller, who legally murdered a gun-toting Wagon-Burner and the nine year old future glue-sniffer clinging to her skirt. Congrats, Dave. A hundred points for the woman, and five hundred for the kid... This is a good time to remind RCMP Officers across Canada that, despite our long history of exercising a strong hand (and an even stronger nightstick ;?) in keeping the Wagon-Burners from storming the gates of white society, current social and legal trends make it necessary for us to take every step necessary to cover our ass when we take those measures needed to keep them in their proper physical place (the reservation) and to keep them in their proper attitudinal place even when they remain in their proper physical place. Remember that the procedures that we have put in place are for your protection, and that if you stay within our guidelines, you can pretty much waste as many Wagon-Burners as you wish, without suffering legal consequences. Constable Voller followed proper procedure in charging right into a volatile situation with no backup, so that there would be no possibility of conflicting stories from other officers invited to participate in the adrenaline high involved. He also had the foresight to waste the bitch with a shotgun, so that a wide enough target area would be covered to take care of any potential witnesses whose stories would not be subject to government pressure as to their content. Rest assured that if you murder a Wagon-Burner according to proper procedure, that the members we claim not to be able to spare to supervise a potentially deadly encounter with Wagon-Burners will suddenly become available to pore over the murder site and absolve you of any wrongdoing. A host of spin-doctors will also suddenly appear to remind the head Wagon-Burners that 'good relations' with the Federal Government are conditional on 'going along to get along.' The RCMP Officers of the Wild, Wild West continue to lead the way in keeping the Wagon-Burners constantly on the run, no matter how far they run to try to escape. The Estevan Detachment of the RCMP is living up to their long tradition of effectively using other arms of law enforcement to effectively harass Wagon-Burners while using a minimum of Federal resources. You undoubtedly remember last year's article about the member of the City of Estevan Police Department who was successful in getting the courts to uphold his own brand of Frontier Justice for decades, until he made the mistake of using a 'real' informant, thus making his cases vulnerable to conflicting testimony as to his questionable activities. As we reported, the prosecutor was able to railroad a couple of kids who were represented by incompetent legal aide lawyers, by having the arresting officer help to mentally muscle them outside the presence of legal counsel, but the #1 Wagon-Burner on the local yokel's list was not able to be railroaded at that time. We reported with pride on the Estevan Detachment of the RCMP helping that same local officer to once again set up the Wagon-Burner by helping in the operation while staying out of the main action, so that the Wagon-Burner and his White-Whore Wife were financially broken to the point where they had to cop a plea. Due to the Estevan Detachment's foresight, they didn't "get any on 'em" when the local yokel finally got his chain yanked on bogus grounds that protected the City of Estevan from taking any responsibility for his years of abuse of authority. To bring you up to date, not only is the Wagon-Burners oldest little glue-sniffer currently being railroaded on criminal charges, but the Estevan RCMP are once again setting a fire under the Wagon-Burner's ass by supporting the Provincial Game Warden's persecution of the Wagon-Burner for daring to hunt on the land that we stole from him, once again saving Federal dollars from having to be used to finance their dirty work. Today's Humor: "First they came for the Wagon-Burners, but I was not a Wagon-Burner, so I didn't speak up. Then they came for the Revisionists, but I was not a Revisionist, so I didn't speak up. Then they came for the Freedom of Speech Advocates, but I was not a Freedom of Speech Advocate, so I did not speak up. "Then they came for the Jews, and I got to put pepper-spray in their Jesus-Killing eyes..." ~ Constable Hettinga "I *love* this country!"

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Ignorance of the Law is No Excuse
by TruthMonger 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

Favorite Courtroom Scene #137: A debate arises over the 'proper interpretation' of a particular law, or section of the law. None of the legal eagles with decades of experience in the study and practice of the law can agree, so the Judge orders a break in the action, whereupon everyone dives into mountains of information contained in both fresh and dusty graven tablets and eventually they all return to the courtroom to further disagree as to what constitutes obeying the law, and what constitutes a violation of the law. Finally, the judge makes a decision (which may be confirmed or overturned in the future by other people with even more years of study and experience in the practice of law) and the defendant becomes an innocent lamb or a fire-breathing devil, according to the judgement. The beautiful insanity of the preceeding is only fully manifested when the defendant protests that he hadn't really meant to transgress against the law of the land, and the Judge, who based her final decision on a single line of legislation enacted in 1854, and not noticed nor referenced since the day it was passed, tells the defendant that "Ignorance of the law is no excuse." [Note: If you are unaware of whether the law in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, requiring pedestrians to walk on the 'right' side of the sidewalk, was or was not recinded, then your qualify as a member of the 'criminal element,' in potential, if not in fact.]

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Official RCMP HateMailer Launched
by RCMP HateMailer 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

[Bienfait Nutly News]Dangerous Armed Thugs sitting in parked cars hiding in the alley behind the CoalDust Saloon, waiting to tax the citizens under the obscenely low breath-alcohol laws in place, celebrated the launching of the 'Official RCMP HateMailer' after the sudden and mysterious disasppearance of the 'Official RCMP Hate Page' at a Sympatico website. The unusually high number of vehicles and officers hanging around the small Saskatchewan town was attributed to a 24-hour watch on the former host of the vanished webpage, in the hope of catching him walking on the left side of the sidewalk and arresting him under authority of a law which applied only to Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, when it was in force, and was recinded years ago. "We weren't notified of the recinding of the law." one of the waiting constables stated, smiling like a banshee. RCMP officers around the country were angered by what they regarded as trickery and betrayal by a scoundrel who had professed support for the concept of a website where officers could freely express their true thoughts, beliefs and feelings, under cover of their webpage being hosted by a known lunatic and forger, thus providing them with deniability in the event of great public outcry. An anonymous constable (whose home phone number is (306)388-2561) told a local reportwhore, as he had him standing on one foot, singing 'God Save The Queen' and skinning a live cat, blindfolded, "The average citizen expects us to harass the riff-raff, the poor, and the people we stole the land from, in order to keep them in their proper place, but the minute we try to give one another postive public support for our personal and group successes, all we get is a ration of shit." His partner, going through the blindfolded reportwhore's truck seat and pocketing the change, added, "You spend years doing the boring grunt work of oppressing the low-life, and suddenly, you get a chance to achieve one of the premiere experiences of your professional career. You get to whack out a WagonBurner. "But just try *bragging* about it." he continued, shaking his head sadly about the hypocritical criticism of the citizens who cry out to be protected from those with less money or social standing than themselves, and then turn around and cry 'shame' when those hired to do the job ask for their efforts to be appreciated. Mounties everywhere were outraged when the website was suddenly Yanked out of Canuck CyberSpace by an unknown entity. Speculation among the RCMP rank and file was that the website host had wiped out the website pages himself, and then concocted a wild conspiracy theory involving police abuse of power and the violation of free speech and the Canadian Charter of Rights. "That fucking asshole son-of-a-bitch is well known for taking facts which can be explained quite simply and using them to build some bizarre, inane story that reflects badly on those in positios of authority. "There was no huge, dark conspiracy to seize his computer and files. The Customs officer at Regway is thinking of buying a laptop, and he simply confiscated the man's computer so that he could try one out for a while before making a decision. The RCMP officers who drove down from Regina to break into his house were just making sure that the place was secure during his absence. They thought they should take his nephew's computer in order to find out if he had any illegally acquired Warez files, so that we could imprison the child and save him from a life of crime. "Conspiracy, my ass...it was just two separate instances of ordinary, everyday abuse of the citizens that he has magnified into some deep, dark plot in order to feed his paranoid fantasies." The general consensus among the drunken, licentious crowd gathered around the Video Lottery machines in the pub was that the man in question was "pretty much toast," since the Mounties 'always get their man,' as a result of many of them coming from small farming communities and having a great deal of experience in 'planting.' Some of average, small town alcoholics were of the opinion that the Official RCMP Hate Page was rather self-serving and vastly overblown, anyway. "That little glue-sniffer that the Mountie whacked out while he was clinging to his momma's skirt was pretty skinny...I doubt that he was worth more than fifty points, max." As I was leaving, the blindfolded reportwhore threw up on the shoes of the officer giving him the drunk-test, and those waiting in line to be humiliated and abused gave him an average of 9.6 for style, 9.8 for presentation, and a perfect 10 for artistic merit, since he had eaten an all-dressed pizza for dinner.

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Is this for REAL?
by nobody＠REPLAY.COM 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

- OFFICIAL RCMP HATEMAILER - "Police physicians still slap newborn babies on their soft little bottoms because they know that this new little citizen will eventually be guilty of _something_!" - This message is NOT from from some namby-pamby, pacifist citizen who bitches and whines every time that Canada hosts foreign dictators who know how to keep their citizens in line (to conserve the firing squad's bullets). It was remailed by *real* men and women who have the guts to make citizens *pay* for attempting to draw attention to non-official viewpoints and values by assaulting them with potentially deadly toxix substances. Send all complaints and requests for blocking to: <PRESIDENT(a)WHITEHOUSE.GOV>. -

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About Golf Balls
by ballman＠thebestemail.com 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

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Adult CD
by owner-cypherpunks 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

Are you interested in ADULT Cd-ROMs we would like to give you 2 FREE sampels, se more about this great offer at : http://www.vicom.dk/ No obligations at all ! ! - just a nice offer from Denmark. This is a one time offer - if you are not interested you will not hear from us again. VICOM

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Sympatico Reaches Compromise With Censored Author
by RCMP HateMailer 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

[Bienfait Nutly News]SYMPATICO, A CANADIAN INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDER, reached a compromise with a notoriously unknown Saskatchwan author whose website had been destroyed after the ISP was threatened with legal and physical violence by Royal Canuckian Mounted Police. Sympatico agreed to restore 'half' of the author's 'Semi-Revisionism' webpage, which espouses the view that the Holocaust, although a true 3D event, was neither fact nor fiction, but merely "overblown." The half-restored webpage originally had a variety of links to sites on the InterNet which provided information confirming the author's theory that a variety of ethnic groups were the targets of genocide during World War II, and that the real reason behind most of the Revisionist literature on the InterNet was the result of the Jews milking their tragedy for more sympathy (and money) than the other ethnic groups. "If the same events took place in today's society," the author speculates, "then the resulting media frenzy would ensure that all parties involved would receive a proportionate share of the gigantic rubber-necker/tragedy market. "As it is, it happened that the Jews managed to corner the small genocide-sympathy market that existed at the time, and succeeded in building a Holocaust Empire that was able to squash all competition from the survivors of other ethnic massacres." The Anti-SemiRevisionist Coalition, fighting against the current DOJ anti-trust actions targeting the Jewish monopoly of the genocide market, agreed to make Holocaust promoter Simon Wisenthal and Zundelsite's revisionist creator, Ingrid Rimland, joint chairmen of the Coalition. They joined together in arguing that breaking up the Jewish Holocaust monopoly would destroy the genocide market and eventually lead to minor ethnic groups who had only experienced "inconvenience and discomfort" to saturate the market with inferior horror stories. "Already, we are seeing examples of people with short numbers tatooed on their arms, pressing for equal rights legislation." one alleged Holocaust victim told gathered reporterwhores. However, when a German reportwhore pointed out that the man had a Scandanavian nose and name, the man's tattoo, upon closer inspection, turned out to be three lines of Perl code. The man was immediately seized by the the host of the Politically Correct TV show and deported to a Death of the CypherPunks camp run by Declan McCullagh outside of Bienfait, Saskatchwan.

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Best IDEA implimentation?
by Schaerer 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

A brief scan of FTP sites will result in several different implimentations of the IDEA algorithm. Is there any agreement as to the 'best' (Def: easily compiled, syntax that helps prevent dumb errors, good documentation, relatively quick on most computers, etc)? If it varies from computer to computer, what would the best implimentation be for an Intel Pentium running ms-dos/windows95 using the djgpp c/c++ compiler? I greatly appreciate any and all help. - Jim Schaerer --- Since this is my first post, I suppose I should introduce myself (since I know you all are just dying to learn about me :-) ). I am a high school student from Tulsa, Oklahoma, who has had an interest in cryptography for the last year-or-so. Needless to say, I have absolutely no training in cryptography or advanced mathematics - everything I know comes from books or essays on the aforementioned subjects. When I'm not on my computer, music (Classical) is my past-time. My primary instrument is the euphonium (think small tuba with a mellow sound), which I plan on playing through college and beyond.

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$1,000,000 CypherPunk Challenge
by RCMP HateMailer 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

THE ESTEVAN DETACHMENT OF THE ROYAL CANADIAN MOUNTED POLICE IS PROUD TO ANNOUNCE THE COMMENCEMENT OF THE MILLION DOLLAR CYPHERPUNK CHALLENGE! Thanks to the generous contributions of RCMP officers such as Constable Beauline, who generously offered to kick in a share of the money he extorted at gunpoint from the late TruthMonger #1, in the CoalDust Saloon, we are able to offer each of you a chance at the Grand Prize for aiding us in securing a conviction on any major criminal charge against an individual who has sullied the reputation of the Royal Canuckian Mounted Police by subjecting us to ridicule for the mountains of government resources and funds we have pissed away in our unsuccessful attempts to imprison him over the years. The sorry, scumbag piece of shit who posts to the CypherPunks mailing list under a variety of aliases, including, Toto, TruthMonger, Blanc Weber and Sameer, is known to be as big a pain in the ass to you irreverent, anarchist CypherPunks felons as he is to those of us sworn to Serve and Protect the rich and powerful from loudmouthed troublemakers who feel no shame in stepping outside the boundaries of our subservient middle-class society. CSIS, an arm of Canadian law enforcement whose manifest is to find and exploit weaknesses of character in our citizens, in order to encourage them down a path which will allow the judicial system to put enough white people in jail to keep a semblance of order amoung the Wagon-Burners who belong in the white man's prisons by virtue of their birthright, has provided the RCMP with illegally intercepted InterNet communications which lead us to believe that most of the CypherPunks are, in reality, personally resigned to the fact that Big Brother already has the game in the bag, and would recognize the benefit of helping us to hammer down, once and for all, in two quick 'chops', the 9-inch nail that rises like a Penis from the Asses every time we attempt to slap it down. Others may make you similar offers to make the $$$ Big Bucks $$$, but our offer pays monumentally greater amounts of cash than sitting at home licking your own dick... THE CHALLENGE: To support our efforts to encourage Toto down a path that will lead to enough mental and emotional pressure to overcome the beneficial effects of his current medication and result in his increasing vulnerability to the violent manifestations of his medical disability to the point where he finally 'snaps,' and strikes out in a blind rage of senseless violence that will finally allow the Canadian Justice system to incarcerate him in a place where his presence will not be an affront to normal, decent Canadians who are willing to believe that Louis Riel acted alone, as long as we allow them to continue to debate endlessly on CBC radio on how to end the never-ending debates on CBC radio, and finally take some action on what are essentially inconsequential matters. OUR PLEDGE: To continue our efforts to pressure Toto through illegal violations of his Charter Rights and to provide those who choose to participate in our assault on this particular citizen by providing information as to known vulnerabilities which can be used to exploit his weaknesses. YOUR *WINNING* ROLE: To support and encourage Toto in manifesting, to the fullest extent possible, the moral outrage that comes naturally from a lifetime of watching growing authoritarian tyranny in all aspects of Canadian society. To echo and validate the impulsive outbursts of emotional and physical violence which is endemic among those with his type of medical disability. THE KEYS TO SUCCESS: While we continue to harass Toto at every step, seeking to criminalize and socially stigmatize him for his values and beliefs, you, as a CypherPunk, can encourage him to dwell upon the injustices to which he is subjected, in the name of normality. While we continue to illegally and arrogantly confiscate his property, denying him use of the tools he uses to improve his knowledge of his medical condition, and to help maintain mental and emotional balance through creative expression and physical functionality, you, as a CypherPunk, can make a point of reminding him that even if we are forced, at some point, to cease our illegal harassment of him, that we have endless government resources available that enable us to continue harassing him as long as we desire. While we continue to pressure Toto to submit to our attempts to suppress his right to freedom of expression, you, as a CypherPunk, can point out to him the debasement and oppression that is involved in submitting to our tyranny. The key to living life comfortably, as a Sheeple, lies in avoiding undue reflection upon the lies and injustices that are part of the daily menu of a government and society geared toward the worship and furtherance of money and power. Defective humans who are incapable of hypnotically ignoring the the lies, hypocrisy and injustice around them need to be removed from society in order to ensure the efficient functioning of the more obedient Sheeple. BONUS: Any CypherPunk who is able to contribute to our efforts to the extent that enough pressure is applied to the weak points of Toto's medical condition to result in him completely snapping and blindly striking out at random against those who have no part in his persecution (as opposed to merely striking back at those who are violating his human rights) will receive a share of any royalties that may result from book and movie script sales. When encouraging Toto in viewing it as his right and duty to launch a mindless, violent assault on the world at large, keep in mind that chainsaw massacres have the potential to be big money makers in the news and entertainment media industry, and senseless slaughter of innocent children is a proven winner in maximizing audience share. Remember: Those who make peaceful revolution impossible, make violent revolution a damn profitable business.

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WE'LL PAY CA$H FOR YOUR DEAD INDIANS !!!
by RCMP HateMailer 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

~ MAD MOUNTIE INDIAN TRADING POST ------------------------------- Despite the comparative ease with which members of the law enforcement community are able to avoid penalties or legal punishment for murdering Wagon-Burners under the cover of a government-issued assassins badge, there still remains a small minority of policemen who are not comfortable with the moral implications of taking another human life lightly, but who don't want to suffer the stigmatism of not having a human trophy mounted on their office wall. This translates into $$$ BIG BUCKS $$$ for those who work in mortuaries, or who are lucky enough to hit a Wagon-Burner with their vehicle in a remote location where they can pop the body into the trunk. The Mad Mountie Indian Trading Post will pay top dollar for Wagon-Burner carcasses without noticeable tread marks, and a special bonus to those who bring in a mother and child combination suitable for mounting in the currently popular "Dave's Double" configuration. Carcasses that bear a significant resemblance to famous Wagon-Burners such as Louis Riel, Sitting Bull and Geronimo will be sold at the monthly Officers Only Auction.

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