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The True Story of the InterNet
Part III
InfoWar
Final Frontier of the Digital Revolution
Behind the ElectroMagnetic Curtain
by TruthMonger <tm(a)dev.null>
Copyright 1997 Pearl Publishing
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InfoWar Table of Contents
* Subject: Anonymous TruthMailer Abuse
Electronic Forgery Foundation
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Subject: Anonymous TruthMailer Abuse
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To: billg(a)microsoft.com
From: TruthMailer <tm(a)dev.null>
X-Mailer: WinSock Remailer Version ALPHA1.3B
X-Comments: "I am not an asshole, but I play one in real life."
X-Comments: "I don't make it up. I just make it better."
X-Comments: This message is NOT from TruthMonger.
X-Comments: It was sent by an automated anonymous asshole
X-Comments: through a Cypherpunk remailer under the alleged
X-Comments: auspices of the Electronic Forgery Foundation.
X-Comments: Note: Send any complaints about abuse of this remailer
X-Comments: to the person most concerned about your rights and
X-Comments: freedoms. (Hint: It's a "mirror" site.)
X-Remailer-Setup: Maximum Message Size -- INFINITE
X-Remailer-Setup: Reordering is RANDOM
X-Remailer-Setup: Subject Header FORGED
X-Remailer-Setup: Logging RIDICULOUS Messages
X-Remailer-Setup: No STRONGHOLD messages accepted
Subject: !!! DEATH THREAT !!!
William,
I have taken the liberty of sending a death threat to someone and
forging your name and digiture to it. (No need to thank me, I just
like to help out.)
I don't usually take this kind of arbitrary action (unless I'm
running low on meds) but I thought drastic measures were called for
when I came across evidence that your name is about to be sullied and
your business endangered, due to a plot between a psychotic lunatic
and an employee of yours who is an agent for a secret organization
which has been responsible for inspiring and supporting a wide range
of anti-technological terrorists, including the UnaBomber and the
genius behind the PS/2.
Who are these people, you ask? (I have extremely good ears.)
Bubba Rom Dos, TruthMonger and Blanc Weber.
All card-carrying members of the Circle of Eunuchs.
I have long suspected that a series of underground manuscripts titled
'The True Story of the InterNet' had, as their ultimate aim, the total
destruction of MicroSoft.
Sure enough, in Part III of the series, "InfoWar," the author, known as
TruthMonger, suggests:
~~~
"Video_World, and TV_World. Those were the titles we had put to Part II
of 'The True Story of the InterNet.' But that was before the censorship
crisis on the CypherPunks mailing list, when we saw the sticky, tangled
tentacles that lay at the root of the World Wide Web.
"And before Gomez began to build his Evil Empire on the cornerstone of
WebTV."
~~~
Part II, "WebWorld & the Mythical Circle of Eunuchs," reveals the
role played by Blanc Weber in her subversive intentions to help in the
destruction of MicroSoft, with the goal of promoting her own secret
technologies.
~~~
Apparently, HydroCube storage technology had been in existence for some
time before its official announcement by BabyGates Technology. The Kid,
as she was called, had been the daughter, lover, or employee of the
richest man in the world, depending on which version of this era you
believed. Her star had risen, even as Microsoft's star had begun to
fall, mostly as a result of her development of the HydroCube, with its
nearly infinite data-storage capacity.
Â…
And now, Jonathan had reason to believe that the Kid had actually been
a member of the CypherPunks, masquerading under the pseudonym of
Blanc Weber.
~~~
So, as you can plainly see, it is only a matter of time before these
self-proclaimed Freeh->dumb Fighters decide to begin openly attacking
you with slanderous truths about yourself, Gomez and the Dark Allies,
the lady midget wrestler and the bed full of chickens, as well as the
role of Susan Canizales as your dietary aide.
Yes, I know...you are shaking in your boots at the prospect of these
facts coming out (complete with 4"x8" color graphics), but there *are*
actions you can take to thwart these dire possibilities.
Fortunately, Part III is being released on the cypherpunks(a)toad.com
mailing list, under the TruthMonger multi-user persona, who has formed
a secret alliance with the Cypherpunks' distributed persona, Anonymous.
Thus, if you act quickly, you might be able to strike first, writing
your own chapter of Part III and sending it to the Cypherpunks list,
anonymously, copyrighting it as "TruthMonger <billg(a)microsoft.com>"
in order to piss in the face of the known list forger who is known to
be responsible for many of the chapters submitted. (Then you could sue
the bastard!)
In *your* chapter, you could give yourself any role you desired in the
history, present and future of humankind.
My suggestion would be to beat these rapscallions to the punch by using
the Taoist tactic of creating 'yourself' as an evil creature of your
own design--far more diabolical than even your enemies could imagine.
The Circle of Eunuchs would then be honor-bound, as cross-matchers
(under NLP theology), to assign you a role as a secret hero in a later
chapter, thus saving you the embarrassment of having to blow your own
horn to keep the Universe in balance.
Sameer, president of C2Net, is reportedly under heavy medication
by his physician as the result of the stress of trying to think of
something positive he can say about himself and his organization,
under the savage attacks against his corporation and his private person
by these evil conspirators.
In conclusion, I would add that it is traditional to reward/torture
the masochistic, paranoid schizophrenic who supplies many of the more
bizarre of the CoE's conspiracy theories, by adding some subtle hint
pointing to some future event in history, based on your own inside
knowledge. (The point being to make it glaringly obvious to crazed
conspiracy theorists, but something that will make them look like a
'lunatic' if they try pointing it out to normal people.)
An AT&T employee once made a prophetic claim in the series to an event
which proved to be true in concept, way off-base in details, except that
he inserted a reference to the Message ID number of the future email
he foresaw, and then released the announcement months later with a
Message ID that was the reverse of the foretold one...
Beware of white lipstick,
A. Fiend
(uuhhh...friend.)
Copyright "Martin Minow <minow(a)apple.com>
"Are you a man, or a Minnow?"
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Electronic Forgery Foundation
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The wild-eyed, disheveled figure sat hunched over the keyboard of his
laptop, frantically seeking meaning in the words that lay before him.
"Hello, Dimitri. How are you feeling today?"
The mad doctor furtively lowered the screen on his laptop, hiding his
important work from the prying eyes of his patient.
"Hello, Igor." Dr. Dimitri Vulis, KOTM said, eyeing the patient
suspiciously.
"Please, call me Igor." the Kremlin spy replied, causing Dr. Vulis to
quickly search his mind and memory to recall their conversation to this
point. Nothing thereÂ…
Igor Chudov eyed the evil Doctor's laptop suspiciously, raising his eyebrows
ever so slightly, but enough so that Dimitri could tell exactly what he was
thinking. He could even tell what the patient's next words would be, in
regard to his excess use of power in the 'Home' to run his spambots.
Igor, speaking softly, then raising his voice as he leaned closer and closer
to Dr. Vulis, asked, "We wouldn't be writing a letter about our good friend,
SAMEER, would we?"
Dimitri jumped up in terror, clutching the laptop to his breast. They knew!
They knew about his regression into his paranoid C2Net conspiracy theories.
Now they would punish him again, possibly even going so far as to make him
install the Windows operating system on another of his UNIX boxes. Dimitri
steeled himself for the patient's verdict.
Igor relaxed, sat down on the edge of the table, and said, casually, "Just
kidding, Dimitri. I know that you're working on your EFF material."
Dimitri eyed Igor suspiciously, but Igor merely continued, "Don't worry
Dimitri, I am in favor of your creation of the Electronic Forgery
Foundation." He couldn't resist adding, "Very clever of you to plant all of
that evidence pointing toward Toto as the source of the plethora of
forgeries to the CypherPunks list."
A shit-eating grin spread across Dr. Vulis' face as he realized that, this
time, he had been caught for doing something he wouldn't be punished for.
Rewarded, perhaps?
Cautiously, Dr. Vulis asked Igor, "So can I have more medication? All of the
others in treatment here are getting better drugs than me, because they are
patients being treated by doctors. Why am I the only doctor being treated by
a patient?"
"Now Dimitri," Igor shook his head, negatively, "you are exaggerating again.
You know that John Young and Robert Hettinga are the only two here who are
getting better drugs than you, and it is only occasionally, when they share
a room, and then only in order to increase their pleasure when they engage
inÂ…uuhhhÂ…CypherPunk activities."
Dimitri got angry, as Igor knew would result from feeding his fantasies, "I
know what you're talking about!" Dimitri always gotÂ…uuhhhÂ…'excited', when
this subject came up.
"They're sucking each other's cocks! This place is full of cocksuckers, and
the biggest one of all is cocksucker John <spit> Gilmore <fart>!"
Igor enjoyed getting Dimitri worked up into a lather before leaving him to
continue with his openly-secret activities. As he closed and locked Dr.
Vulis' door, he shouted to him, "I'll have Ray Arachelian look in on you a
little later."
"Keep that murdering Armenian bastard away from me!" Dr. Vulis screamed in
terror, before becoming distracted by a passing fly and forgetting what it
was that he was so angry about.
No matter. He would get mad about something else, instead. After all, he was
a Freedom Knight. Being an angry, aggressive activist fighting valiantly
against petty nuisances that most people just ignore was a Freedom Knight
tradition.
Dr. Vulis opened up his laptop and bent over to attend to his important
work, once again.
Dimitri checked two names off of his list. The President, and the Big Kid,
BillyG.
Now that he had set up his unwitting shill, TotoÂ…? the Lunatic, he reminded
himselfÂ…, by sending veiled threats to two of the most powerful figures in
the Freeh World, he would now begin to close his evil, circuitous trap by
turning his attention to pissing off other world leaders, with ? the Lunatic
acting as the exposed target, once again.
He had pissed off Apple Computers, as well, by attributing the anonymous
email to BillyG to an Apple employee. Now he would divert suspicion 'from'
himself by attributing this chapter of Part III 'to' himself, so that
everyone would think that it must surely be another forgery by ? the
Lunatic.
~~~
::
Anon-To: saddam_hussein(a)iraq.gov
Subject: Salman Rushdie
Dear Saddam,
Salman Rushdie is in hiding in Bienfait, Saskatchewan, living under an
assumed name after having had radical plastic surgery to disguise his
appearance.
He is trying to redeem himself with Allah by building a nuclear bomb with
which to nuke D.C., but he is inadequate for the task. However, do you
remember Lee Harvey Oswald? If not, then surely you are aware of Timothy
McVeighÂ…
~~~
Copyright "Anonymous <dlv(a)bwalk.dm.com>"
Brighton Beach Boardwalk BBS, Forest Hills, N.Y.: +1-718-261-2013, 14.4Kbps
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"The Xenix Chainsaw Massacre"
"WebWorld & the Mythical Circle of Eunuchs"
"InfoWar (Part III of 'The True Story of the InterNet')
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