December 2003 - cypherpunks-legacy

Use of an 'air freshener' in commission of a crime...
by nobody＠REPLAY.COM 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

* In June, a Scripps Howard News Service reporter examined Consumer Product Safety Commission records recently made public and found that 1,823 serious injuries caused by "electronic air-fresheners" had been reported to the agency. Though the records were short on details, they included 50 cases of amputation, 46 burns, 48 scaldings, 68 poisonings, 56 "foreign-body" penetrations, and 69 "drownings." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To read these News of the Weird newspaper columns from the past six months, go to http://www.nine.org/notw/notw.html (That site contains no graphics, no photos, no video clips, no audio. Just text. Deal with it.)

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Great Balls of Fire!
by nobody＠REPLAY.COM 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

* In April in Port Washington, Wis., Kevin Gillson, 18, was convicted of sexual assault of a child when his 15-year-old girlfriend became pregnant, despite the fact that the couple were attending parenting classes together and that Gillson said they planned to marry. Upon conviction, Gillson was barred from being around any non-adults, including the mother of his child. And Richard A. Duke Jr., 22, was jailed for 30 days in May in St. Mary's County, Md., for having sex with the 15-year-old girl whom he had married in the interim between arrest and conviction. Nonetheless, a judge ordered Duke, thus as a sex offender, to stay away from the girl, even though she is his wife.

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Shit happened...
by nobody＠REPLAY.COM 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

* The Michigan Court of Appeals in April ruled, on a technicality, in favor of a prison inmate who had tossed a cup of liquified feces in the face of a guard. Alphonso Gaines, 34, already serving time for assault, could not be punished further, said the court, because the prosecutors forgot to prove that Gaines was "lawfully" incarcerated in the Ionia facility at the time he threw the feces. Prosecutor Gail Hitchcock was incensed: "Did they think we were charging someone who had sneaked into prison?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To read these News of the Weird newspaper columns from the past six months, go to http://www.nine.org/notw/notw.html (That site contains no graphics, no photos, no video clips, no audio. Just text. Deal with it.)

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Terry Nichols gets new court-appointed lawyer...
by nobody＠REPLAY.COM 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

* Defense lawyer Phillip Robertson, intending to make a dramatic point in front of the jury at his client's robbery trial in Dallas, Tex., in June, pointed the 9mm pistol used in the crime toward the jury box, causing two jurors to fling their arms in front of their faces and others to gasp audibly. Though Robertson was arguing that his client should be sentenced only to probation, the horrified jury gave him 13 years.

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Stuff Your Momma Never Told You...
by News of the Normal 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

CLOSET STATISTICS DON'T LIE *Statistics International reports that since gays have come out of the closet, snap counts in football have increased an average of 40% in length (up to 70% when either the center or quarterback is named 'Bruce'.) This figure increases astronomically in College football, in cases where the center is a freshman and the quarterback is a senior who is a member of NAMBLA. (North American Man-Boy Love Association) HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY BOOTSRAPS...??? *Recent revelations revolving 'round revisionist recorrections indicate that Horatio Alger died in poverty after the S&L where his funds were deposited collapsed, the head of his pension fund was indicted, his former employer could no longer afford to support his 'lifetime' health insurance benefits, and Chelsea Clinton robbed him to buy crack cocaine as part of her homework for a Stanford 'History of Ebonics' class. IT'S A TOUGH WAY TO MAKE A LIVING *NEWS OF THE WEIRD, a nationally syndicated newspaper column founded in 1988, and distributed by Universal Press Syndicate has finally run its course, and will be discontinued in the near future. A disappointed Chuck Shepherd told reporters, "I could see that the end was coming when President Reagan's statement that 'trees cause more pollution than automobiles' became mainstream news." Shepherd went on to say, "I can no longer compete with the regular news when citizens are getting toilet plungers stuck up their ass every day, parabolically speaking. I've heard that Clinton, Reno and Freeh are now a serious threat to the comedy industry, as well. Who is going to be foolish enough to pay for our products when they can get material of greater quality and quantity free on C-Span and the front page of the Washington Post?" AUTHENTICITY: All news stories mentioned in News of the Normal are just shit we make up (or occasionally, get from supermarket tabloids in other countries or other disreputable magazines and journals). No so-called reputable news source, and no story that was not intended to spread FUD (Fear, Uncertainty and Disinformation) is ever the source of a News of the Normal story. News of the Normal is not copyrighted by anyone who would admit to it in public.

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Defendants adopt Freemenspeak [CNN]
by Jim Choate 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

Forwarded message: > MORE DEFENDANTS ADOPT 'FREEMENSPEAK' > > Freemen in court > > It's gibberish to the judges > > October 25, 1997 > Web posted at: 6:33 p.m. EDT (2233 GMT) > > BILLINGS, Montana (AP) -- Standing scornful and defiant, the > defendants shout their cases. They are sovereign citizens, not > subject to the court! The judges are unqualified! The lawyers are > illegal! > > "To hell with you and your kangaroo court!" one defendant bellows at > his sentencing for dealing drugs. > > The bizarre claims are trademarks of the Montana Freemen, the > militant anti-government zealots who have been jailed here, awaiting > trial, since their 81-day standoff ended 16 months ago. > > But the claims are now coming from garden-variety criminals, fellow > inmates in the Yellowstone County jail. These non-Freemen are > proving to be ardent students of the convoluted legal fantasies of > the jail's most famous residents. > > They are firing their lawyers, torpedoing their own plea agreements, > writing their own legal briefs, arguing -- and losing -- their own > cases. They are making life and work difficult, and often miserable, > for those who run the court system. > > Chief public defender Sandy Selvey calls the Freemen a plague. At > least seven clients of his office have tried "Freemenspeak" in state > court; others have tried it in federal court. > > "They're contaminating our good criminals," says District Judge > Diane Barz, who tangled with the Freemen as a federal prosecutor. > > About two dozen Freemen have been among the jail's 300 inmates since > June 13, 1996, when they surrendered after an armed, 81-day standoff > with FBI agents at their isolated farm compound in the remote > outback of eastern Montana's "Big Open." Three minor figures have > pleaded guilty, but trials for the rest won't begin until next > spring. > > The host of federal charges against them include wire and bank fraud > and threatening the life of a federal judge and other public > officials. The FBI says some 800 people from around the country > attended classes at the rural stronghold, learning to issue the > worthless liens and "warrants" that the Freemen claim are legal > tender. > > People in several states have been charged, and some convicted, of > trying to use such documents, often bearing the name of Freeman > leader Leroy Schweitzer. The Dallas Morning News reported that at > least 151 people in 23 states were under investigation for Freeman > connections. > > The Freemen's legal "philosophy" is a jumble of odds and ends from > the Bible, the U.S. Constitution, the Magna Carta and the Uniform > Commercial Code, the body of federal laws that govern interstate > financial transactions. > > They dress it up in pseudo-scholarly terms and meaningless Latin > phrases and claim, in essence, they are laws unto themselves -- and > over everyone else. > > "There are some real gaps in their education, and ... I think they > are darned close to acting like the mentally ill," Barz said. > > The Freemen commonly rant, belch, challenge the federal judges and > get banished from the courtroom to watch on closed-circuit TV as > appointed lawyers try to defend them. More conventional inmates soon > started imitating them. > > Their verbose legal filings, often prepared by Freemen, are so > peculiar that District Court Clerk Jean Thompson rejects many of > them. > > Accused wife-murderer Jerry Swinney filed a 25-page "Demand for Bill > of Particulars." Adopting the Freemen's name style -- Jerry period > comma Swinney -- it opens this way: > > "Jerry., Swinney, Affiant, hereinafter at all times relevant, > Demandant, a self-realized entity, a Man upon the free soil of the > several American independent and sovereign states, ..." > > Twenty-five eye-glazing pages later, this is how it closes: > > "NOTICE. This instrument comes under, and brings into the instant > action, the doctrines of res gestae, res ipsa loquitor, tacit > procuration, prior knowledge, willful intent, as against YOU and you > and your private characters. Further affiant sayeth not." > > County Attorney Dennis Paxinos, public defender Selvey and the > judges say the biggest problem the Freemen imitators have created is > how to protect themselves from themselves. It may be a bad idea for > them to act as their own lawyer -- but it's their legal right. > > "The judges and prosecutors seem to be as concerned with protecting > these Freeman-type people as their own attorneys are," says Deputy > County Attorney Joe Coble. "The only people who seem to want to run > roughshod over these people's rights are these people themselves." > > "The real concern I have is trying to figure out if, hidden among > the rubble of rhetoric, there's any viable complaint or issue we > really should consider," says District Judge G. Todd Baugh. > > As far as the judges can recall, that hasn't happened yet. > > "It's incredibly difficult to figure out what they're trying to > say," says District Judge Russell Fagg. > > Judges usually appoint a standby lawyer, often over the defendant's > protests. > > "Standby is the worst possible situation for a defense lawyer," > Selvey said. "You have to know all the facts, all the witnesses and > what they'll testify to, all the forensic evidence, and the > authorities the guy's going to cite. > > "And then you have to stand there and watch while he goes down in > flames." > > Copyright 1997 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This > material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or > redistributed.

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Re: Defendants adopt Freemenspeak [CNN]
by John Young 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

All right, Jim, a truly uplifting thigh-slapper. All right, Freemen, go for the ranting, belching, farting lingo jumbo, it's how the law fogs who's complicit in police power ebonics.

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Re: poverty traps (Re: Sa
by Anonymous 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE----- Harka wrote: >A real-life example: Violins coming! ;-) Let's call the mother Janice. >A single (divorced) mother, 4 kids (3-12 years), working full-time >and making in theory $42 000/year. After taxes that comes down to >$2000 cash per month. Below you mention she receives $800 in child support, so she is seeing $2800/month in cash. The government is not Janice's friend. It takes away $18,000 from her each year and plunges her into poverty, sort of. If you are appealing to the government to assist Janice, first ask it to get the hell out of the way. (I realize you may just be saying that Janice's plight is unavoidable, not that she should be helped with government money.) >In order for her to be able to work her two youngest kids go to a >day-care-center. Wham! $1000 per month (hiring a baby-sitter would >amount to even more). Janice should be baby sitting. Were she to take in 4 kids at $500/month, she would make as much as her job and be able to watch her own kids during the same time. This income need not be reported. The parents of the other kids would be getting a good deal because their kids would get much more attention than at daycare. Some might even consider it a good deal to be able to hire someone with a Master's Degree in Education! >Her apartment costs $800/month excluding utilities. That leaves $200 >(+ $800 she gets in child-support) per month for _five_ people to >live on (clothes, food, utilities, school-books, gas for the car, >etc.etc.) Uh, doesn't this mean $1000/month for five people after rent has been paid? Telephone: $20/month Electricity: $40/month (?) Heat: $100/month (?) Food: $600/month (generous) Goodwill Clothes: $100/month (generous) Total: $860/month The food is generous because four of the five are kids, the oldest only being 12. Kids don't each much. The actual amount should be much lower. If Janice joins a food coop and optimizes her buying choices for cost and nutrition, the actual cost of food could be dramatically lower. If Janice does not practice vegetarianism, she should start. Clothing at the Goodwill costs next to nothing. $1200/year should be more than enough, not even considering that the younger kids can wear clothing cast off by the older kids. Janice should not be driving - she cannot afford it. The cost of schoolbooks is negligible. (Aren't they provided by the school, anyway?) >One thousand dollars per month for five people!! And that in New York >City! Of course, there is no law that requires one to live in New York City. >What efforts has she made to make "herself more marketable"? She has >been working ever since the age of 16, went 8 years to College (paid >by herself and paying rent at the same time) and now has a Masters >Degree in teaching. It seems pretty clear that making money was not her top priority. It's never been a secret that teachers are not top earners. I'm not seeing a description of somebody who really tried to make money in a serious way. Being "more marketable" does not mean "obtain a masters degree in a field which is renowned for low pay." >She made a calculation and (confirming your statement) came to the >conclusion, that she indeed would have _more_ money by not working at >all and simply going on welfare. >However, that is not a choice she wants to make. Good for her. It sounds like Janice may have the strength of character to turn her situation around. >Is she to be called "stupid" and "selfish" because she's poor despite >her efforts??? You should both read "Your Money or Your Life" from cover to cover. This book will help teach Janice and yourself how to live efficiently. Monty Cantsin Editor in Chief Smile Magazine http://www.neoism.org/squares/smile_index.html http://www.neoism.org/squares/cantsin_10.htm -----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE----- Version: 2.6.2 iQEVAwUBNFJ8f5aWtjSmRH/5AQHU+Af9HWEadTH/x62ZZ8E8XLhJLS9ZxZm8Jkvh LvtdKxq/xI4KHVehL6EqghjvbpndyEByaRNm1D18Hd0Ug3Iy/Ateq69ky2mV7MT6 tCKwaVJEMVH8FYE7HyVHSQs394ID8yGPEnNT79d+VHhaSsFnd349QvQlaHQom6Di ksdNqe+n8WD7ewj2xXaZcZCfE8ESlY2KQ62yHlO/qRR0h8AzOw75B4Vft75r/5Df XHZVSNx1UhP2B1P4rb3IV2XdD6m+xzqSARYO4p9aTCyH588/wS62tMfs8LT54hnu KOFcte8wavQlEdQPFX+JCkOr6woCdjqUeR3ZPrprh2iegq222Ql5Sw== =vyWR -----END PGP SIGNATURE-----

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Re: Doubts about Smith legislation (Falk & Allberry)
by Igor Chudov ＠ home 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

In news.groups, Cipher <cipher(a)mindspring.com> wrote: * In article <62oshu$pov(a)news1.panix.com> Information Security, * The(a)NSA.sucks writes: * >To further rub in things, the UCENET II proponents are coming * >out with a "munging FAQ" that lists three times as many * >"reasons" not to munge versus to munge. * > * >What a bunch of assholes. * > * >On top of that, Mozena couldn't even state in plain English * >in the CFV for comp.org.cauce that it will require your * >real email address to post...it just kinda mumbles it * >while talking about robomoderation and tokens. * > * >Someone should give Mozena a hard kick in the balls. Let us give the anti-privacy, anti-munging, and anti-anonymity proponents a collective kick in the ass by voting against comp.org.cauce in its present form. To get a ballot and vote, send email to bostwick(a)cas.chemistry.gatech.edu and ask him for comp.org.cauce ballot. -- - Igor.

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[Fwd: Fwd: (Fwd) Fw: THIS IS MY KIND OF CHAIN LETTER!!! =)] (fwd)
by goddesshera＠juno.com 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

> here you go! no need to thank me! ;-) > > Since We are ALL so Tired of those Chain Letters!!!!!!!!!! > > THE DEAL IS: THIS LETTER GIVES YOU THE POWER TO NEVER HAVE TO SEND > ANOTHER CHAIN LETTER EVER AGAIN. YOU SEND THIS TO 10 PEOPLE > WITHIN > 7 > DAYS OF > THE TIME THAT YOU READ IT, AND FROM THAT POINT ON YOU CAN IGNORE, > > OR > READ > AND DELETE, ANY CHAIN LETTER SENT TO YOU. THE BEST PART > OF > THIS > DEAL > IS, > YOU WILL STILL GET ALL OF THE LUCK, LOVE, OR GOOD SEX > GUARANTEED > TO > YOU > BY > ANY CHAIN LETTER YOU READ! > EVENTUALLY THIS WILL STOP THE CIRCULATION OF ALL CHAIN > LETTERS. > SO, > IT > IS > VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU SEND THIS OUT ON TIME!!! AND THE > CATCH > IS, > THAT > IF > YOU END UP NOT SENDING THIS ON TIME, OR NEVER SENDING IT > AT > ALL, > YOU > WILL > GET ALL OF THE BAD LUCK, NONE OF THE LOVE, AND NONE OF > THE > GOOD > SEX > FROM > ANY CHAIN LETTER YOU GET. THIS IS FOR ALL OF THE > SUPERSTISIOUS > PEOPLE > THAT > HATE CHAIN LETTERS, AND ALL OF THE EVIL PEOPLE THAT WRITE > THEM. > GOOD LUCK, LOVE AND SEX TO ALL OF YOU!!!!!!! > This message was automatically remailed. The sender is unknown, unlogged, and nonreplyable. Send complaints and blocking requests to <goddesshera(a)juno.com>.

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