December 2003 - cypherpunks-legacy

Vote for the TruthMonger of your choice...but VOTE!
by TruthMonger 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

* Maria DiGiulio and Mohamed Sead became the latest criminal suspects not to beat around the bush when arrested. When DiGiulio was booked in July for robbing the Everett (Mass.) Co-op Bank, she answered police Lt. Robert Bontempo forthrightly. "Occupation?" he asked. "Bank robber," she said. Sead, 47, was booked for fraud last October in Toronto, Ontario (and convicted this year). Occupation? "Con artist," he said. (Sead's scheme was to deceive girlfriends that he was the now-deceased Dodi Fayed.) ~~~ Send a message to notw-request(a)nine.org with the Subject line of Subscribe. To read these News of the Weird newspaper columns from the past six months, go to http://www.nine.org/notw/notw.html (That site contains no graphics, no photos, no video clips, no audio. Just text. Deal with it.)

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Vote CypherPunk!
by TruthMonger 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

* In August, the Boston Globe profiled the Taiwan National Assembly (which specializes in constitutional issues), where it is fairly common for the minority New Party to filibuster by merely grabbing the microphone and physically restraining majority-party members so that they cannot call for votes. Fights break out, sometimes bloody ones. Said a local political science professor, "It may not be civilized, but it's efficient" because citizens respond by re-electing the aggressive legislators. ~~~ Send a message to notw-request(a)nine.org with the Subject line of Subscribe. To read these News of the Weird newspaper columns from the past six months, go to http://www.nine.org/notw/notw.html (That site contains no graphics, no photos, no video clips, no audio. Just text. Deal with it.)

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Proof that Free Market Works!
by TruthMonger 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

* In May, police raided a construction site in Oporto, Portugal, and discovered that 12 drug addicts were working dawn to dusk on an apartment building in exchange for employer-provided heroin shoot-ups at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. According to police, the doses were just enough so that the men would remain employed to get the next fix. ~~~ Send a message to notw-request(a)nine.org with the Subject line of Subscribe. To read these News of the Weird newspaper columns from the past six months, go to http://www.nine.org/notw/notw.html (That site contains no graphics, no photos, no video clips, no audio. Just text. Deal with it.)

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Vote Carol Anne Cypherpunk!
by TruthMonger 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

* While her colleagues were debating, in July, whether the New Life Massage Parlor was a front for prostitution, Oak Grove, Ky., City Councilwoman Patty Belew, 26, said she already had enough information to decide. She said she knows for sure that the massage parlor paid bribes to some police officers to ignore prostitution because she used to work there. ~~~ Send a message to notw-request(a)nine.org with the Subject line of Subscribe. To read these News of the Weird newspaper columns from the past six months, go to http://www.nine.org/notw/notw.html (That site contains no graphics, no photos, no video clips, no audio. Just text. Deal with it.)

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FW: Oh God I'm An Ocean Buoy] fwd: FW: Oh God I'm An Ocean Buoy
by TruthMonger 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

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CypherPunk HMO / Dr. Vulis & Dr. Grubor Presiding...
by TruthMonger 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

--- Forwards have been surgically removed ----- A collection of medical interview and medical record remarks written by various paramedics, emergency room receptionists, and doctors at major hospitals. The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately. Exam of genitalia reveals that TruthMonger is circus sized. The skin was moist and dry. Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid. The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy. The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week. Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation. She is numb from her toes down. Exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot. While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However he took a job as a stockbroker instead. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches. Coming from Detroit, this man has no children. Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his family in no distress. Patient was alert and unresponsive. When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped and he was feeling better. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983. I will be happy to go into her GI system, she seems ready and anxious. Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing. I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. Discharge status: Alive but without permission. The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him. Healthy-appearing, decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful. The patient refused an autopsy. The patient has no past history of suicides. The patient expired on the floor uneventfully. Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital. Patient was becoming more demented with urinary frequency. The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December. The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a picture of acute pulmonary edema at home while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room. The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints.

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From Russia, With Love (WAS: Why is the Commander in Chief always the last to know?) (WAS: Weekday Workers--Weekend Terrorists] (NEVER WAS: Right...like I'm going to use my _real_ name...)
by TruthMonger 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

Subject: [ZOG] FBI MEMO FROM MSP SPEC OPERATIONS DIV Date: Sat, 1 Nov 1997 01:33:10 GMT From: "Ceegar Chewed-Off" <cchewd(a)ussr.commie> To: cypherpunks(a)www.video-collage.com * ADMINISTRATIVE MESSAGE FROM MSP SPEC OPERATIONS DIV * * From: FBI NATIONAL SECURITY DIVISION * To: ALL LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCIES * * * Internal Revenue Service {IRS} offices open on * selective Saturdays, beginning 11/15/97--POTENTIAL * FOR VIOLENCE. * * This communication is not an FBI terrorist threat, * alert, or advisory; it is for information only. Although * unclassified, this communication should be handled as * law enforcement sensitive. This communication should not * be furnished to the media or other agencies outside the * law enforcement/U.S. Government counterrorism community * without the permission of the F.B.I. * * A reported in the media, the IRS recently * announced that all IRS District Headquarters Offices will * be open on selective Saturdays, beginning 11/15/97, to * handle taxpayer complaints and problem cases. Due to the * recent publicity surrounding allegations of IRS abuses * against taxpayers, the offices may attract individuals * intent on disrupting business or committing violent acts * against IRS employees. As a result, IRS is planning to * heighten security at all offices. At this time, the FBI * has no information indicating a terrorist attack * or violence directed at IRS facilities or personnel. * * Should recipients receive any information regarding * violence directed against the IRS, contact the IRS and * your local FBI office immediately. * * Following is the list of the 33 IRS District * Headquarters Offices: * * FROM: FBI NATIONAL SECURITY DIVISION * Pacific Northwest District--Seattle, WA * Northern California District--Oakland, CA. * Central California District--San Jose, CA. * Los Angeles District--Los Angeles, CA. * Southern California District--Laguna Niguel, CA. * Southwest District--Phoenix, AZ * Rocky Mountain District--Denver, CO * Arkansas-Oklahoma District--Oklahoma City, OK * North Texas District--Dallas, TX * South Texas District--Austin, TX * Houston District--Houston, TX * Illinois District--Chicago, IL * -- - Ceegar. The average American spends a total of six (6) months in prison.

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You *know* what this means, don't you? / Re: [ZOG] FBI MEMO FROM MSP SPEC OPERATIONS DIV
by nobody＠REPLAY.COM 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

This is the FBI's way of informing the IRS that the everyday working citizen is now an enemy of the government, and likely to lay seige to any government office foolish enough to stay open during hours when the regular American Joe and Jane has time to do a quick drive-by on the way to pick up the kids at the Saturday afternoon movie at the mall. Igor Chudov @ home wrote: > Anonymous <nobody(a)REPLAY.COM> wrote: > * ADMINISTRATIVE MESSAGE FROM MSP SPEC OPERATIONS DIV > * > * From: FBI NATIONAL SECURITY DIVISION > * To: ALL LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCIES > * > * > * Internal Revenue Service {IRS} offices open on > * selective Saturdays, beginning 11/15/97--POTENTIAL > * FOR VIOLENCE. > * > * This communication is not an FBI terrorist threat, > * alert, or advisory; it is for information only. Although > * unclassified, this communication should be handled as > * law enforcement sensitive. This communication should not > * be furnished to the media or other agencies outside the > * law enforcement/U.S. Government counterrorism community > * without the permission of the F.B.I. > * > * A reported in the media, the IRS recently > * announced that all IRS District Headquarters Offices will > * be open on selective Saturdays, beginning 11/15/97, to > * handle taxpayer complaints and problem cases. Due to the > * recent publicity surrounding allegations of IRS abuses > * against taxpayers, the offices may attract individuals > * intent on disrupting business or committing violent acts > * against IRS employees. As a result, IRS is planning to > * heighten security at all offices. At this time, the FBI > * has no information indicating a terrorist attack > * or violence directed at IRS facilities or personnel. > * > * Should recipients receive any information regarding > * violence directed against the IRS, contact the IRS and > * your local FBI office immediately. > * > * Following is the list of the 33 IRS District > * Headquarters Offices: > * > * FROM: FBI NATIONAL SECURITY DIVISION > * Pacific Northwest District--Seattle, WA > * Northern California District--Oakland, CA. > * Central California District--San Jose, CA. > * Los Angeles District--Los Angeles, CA. > * Southern California District--Laguna Niguel, CA. > * Southwest District--Phoenix, AZ > * Rocky Mountain District--Denver, CO > * Arkansas-Oklahoma District--Oklahoma City, OK > * North Texas District--Dallas, TX > * South Texas District--Austin, TX > * Houston District--Houston, TX > * Illinois District--Chicago, IL > * > > -- > - Igor. > > The average American spends a total of six (6) months in prison.

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Jim Bell--Mercetan Visionary / Re: [ZOG] FBI MEMO FROM MSP SPEC OPERATIONS DIV
by nobody＠REPLAY.COM 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

Igor Chudov @ home wrote: > * A reported in the media, the IRS recently > * announced that all IRS District Headquarters Offices will > * be open on selective Saturdays, beginning 11/15/97, to > * handle taxpayer complaints and problem cases. Due to the > * recent publicity surrounding allegations of IRS abuses > * against taxpayers, the offices may attract individuals > * intent on disrupting business or committing violent acts > * against IRS employees. Clueless John Young was mystified as to why Jim Bell's sentencing has been delayed for such a long period of time. You fool! They plan to run him for President as a grass-roots candidate. Glad I could clear that up... Anonymous (Except to John Young, who is cc:'d and will know ~~~~~~~~~ I am TruthMonger)

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Vote for Pat Robertson!
by TruthMonger 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

* Among the recent rules established by the Afghanistan Taliban office formerly known as the Department for Promoting Virtue and Preventing Vice: No paper bags (because the paper possibly could have been recycled from discarded Korans); no kite-flying; no clean-shaven men (unless they are prepared for a career of street- sweeping); no women employed in senior positions in hospitals, or seated in the front seats of ambulances, or riding with foreign citizens; women visiting hospitals must refrain from making noise with their shoes while walking; athletes must grow beards and wear full Islamic dress in the field; and sports-event spectators must not clap. However, the ban on watching television was lifted. ~~~ Send a message to notw-request(a)nine.org with the Subject line of Subscribe. To read these News of the Weird newspaper columns from the past six months, go to http://www.nine.org/notw/notw.html (That site contains no graphics, no photos, no video clips, no audio. Just text. Deal with it.)

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