December 2003 - cypherpunks-legacy

Live At The CypherMore - SPACE ALIENS HIDE MY DRUGS!!!
by Linda Reed--PCC West Campus CSC 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

Live At The CypherMore East - THEM...LIVE! - SAHMD!!! _____________________________________________________ Actually, the movie, produced in 1988, and released just in time to throw the Author into a hysterical state of Termial Paranoia, was called, "They Live, and still is. (called that, I mean). [EditWhore's Node: The reason the Author never bothers to go back and correct his spelling, syntax (whatever that is) and miscarriage-returns of linguistic justice, is that her mentor, who was as equally good a pitcher as she was a catcher, told her, "Never rewrite, the reader might be gaining on you."] It was a dark and normal night... Until the Author booted up SCO Xenix at 4 a.m. in a sleazy little motel room in ButtFuck, North Dakota. Then, as the Daemons, Zombies, Orphan Zombies and the dreaded Cron were released to wreak their havoc in ToshibaWorld, in the heart of the Author's 5200C portable computer, LadyLuck, not having a date for the evening, intervened to provide mitigating circumstances which would eventually become evidence in the Court Of Public Opinion as to the mitigating circumstances which needed to be considered before sentencing the Author to a lifetime of Hard Labor, trying to give birth to a new perceptive world-view paridigm in which WeTheSheeple felt perfectly comfortable returning a judgement of, "Guilty, by reason of insanity." (As well as a guilty verdict on the misdemeanor charge of, "I don't care if the people from the Justice Department *are* reaming you a new cornhole on my living room floor, I don't want you using that kind of language in front of my children.") For the Author, as his (or her...or their) mind began to break under the strain of trying to hold back the Forces of Evil that escaped from Bell Laboratories, hidden in the carry-on baggage of the Unix Operating System, the only hope of sanity seemed to lie in turning on the BoobTube (even though they visually bleep out the naked boobs on TV in North Dakota), and trying to defend HimOrHer self with the technological opiate of the asses...Gilligan's Island. It was not to be... Instead, despite the fact that TV goes off the air around 10 p.m. in the smaller northern states, the Author found himself finding himself foundering in a flow of Taoist synchronicity which goes far beyond the temporal concerns of everyday life, resulting in him living a schizophrenic existence, torn between Arizona and Saskatchewan, neither of which adheres to the Daylight Saving Time standard that decent, God-fearing Americans and Canadians hold sacred, whereupon the movie, "They Live" sprung on to the Midget Silver Screen sitting atop a faded yellow table with cigarette burns around the edges, completely out of visual harmony with the vile-green colored rug with a multitude of cigarette burns dotting its nearly threadbare surface. The Author found HimOrHerSelf battling the Mutant Monsters created by 'our engineers' talking to 'their engineers' (without ever managing to discover why your hard drive only crashes just before your job-performance review), as well as simultaneously drinking in the sights and sounds of a movie showing on a TV set which had not yet been plugged in--a movie in which a pair of "men who love men, every now and then" [WAS: Male Bonding In America - I Think Some People Are Going Just A Little Too Far] found themselves, on a dark and stormy night [(c) Snoopy], discovering a box of dark glasses which enabled them to see the scum- sucking aliens living in humanity's midst, without our knowledge. The Author, for the first time realizing the dire warning hidden in ZZ Top's classic musical offering, 'Cheap Sun Glasses,' decided that, given the fact that the theme of his last music album, "Please! Stop Me Before I Sing Again," had been embraced by the music-loving public to such a degree that he was hounded out of the industry, SheOrHe's only realistic course of action, in order to warn others about the frightening dangers to be found lurking within the heart of the Unix Operating System, was to use the Medium to proclaim the Message (even though, according to Marshal McClueHandLuke, they are identical twins, although in a microcosm-macrocosm sort of way, like Danny DeVito and Arnold Schwartzenager). Thus was born, "The Xenix Chainsaw Massacre - The True Story Of The InterNet - Part I." The rest is history... Well, not *all* of it is history, since we are currently writing some of it, now...which you are reading...now. And the rEvolution is NOW!, too, so... Lying Awake In Bed At 4 a.m. Burning Question #38679: "Was the <Pg Up> key invented by a sorry, drunken asshole who could never keep track of the point he was trying to make?" Wait here, I'll be back... <Pg Up> <Pg Up> <Pg Up> <Pg Down> <Pg Down> <Enter> "Shit!" <BackSpace> <BackSpace> <BackSpace> "Fuck! Godamnn it!" 'o' <Enter> <Pg Down> OK, like I was saying... MultiMedia... The Author, in 1989, had discovered and explored the first, true VirtualRealityMultiMediaExperience, in which HeOrShe could no longer distinguish between the Medium, the Message, the Meaning, the MeanderingMind, or the voices inside her head which told her that the Messages From Mars coming through the fillings in her teeth were FUD, disseminated by an insurance sales activist with a hidden agenda. Worried about the fact that some egoistical, elitist fuckwad might, at some point in the future, try to claim credit for the Author's discovery of MultiMedia, HeOrShe set Stanley's WayBack Machine to a point which corresponded to the exact Time-Space-Mind equivalent of the Nadir Point between alpha and omega, and could distinctly hear Tim C. May <tcmay(a)got.net> hollering, "I'm going to write about MultiMedia in the CypherPunks archives on the first day the list exists, and you will *never* get credit for the concept." The Author, realizing that the preceeding makes little sense, suddenly realized that all HeOrShe really wanted to point out in this chapter is that, despite the fact that it is a B-grade movie in which Meg Foster never shows her tits, the movie 'They Live' speaks a Truth which needs to be understood by any individual who professes an interest in journeying beyond an imaginary world-view in which he believes that buying the Jeep seen sitting on top of the mountain peak will really result in him getting to fuck the living shit out of the large-breasted blonde bombshell lying across the hood of the vehicle. (Or, alternatively, her thinking that purchasing New Lemon Joy Dish Detergent will really lead to her lifemate doing his share of the dishes, and becoming more romantic, instead of just humping her and then rolling over and going to sleep.) ONE-TIME OFFER!!! [NOT TO BE REPEATED IN THE FUTURE] Any 'True Story of the InterNet' reader who undertakes to watch, and believe the message of, 'They Live', is hereby Officially Absolved of any guilt they may feel in the future, over automatically deleting any post sent to the CypherPunks Disturbed Male LISP by the Author, despite any uneasy feeling they may have that HeOrShe, in spite of the obvious lunacy inherent the MeatSpace Manifestation of the maunuscripts, is truly from the GovernmentHomeForTheCriminallyInsane, and is here to Help (TM) them...

1 0

d
by Saxgrim＠aol.com 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

d

1 0

Earn $100 every time OUR phone rings...
by aytsd9238＠sprynet.com 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

ALL YOU DO IS ADVERTISE THIS 800 NUMBER! THAT'S ALL!! $100 goes to you for EVERY sale that the company closes! Does the idea of making at least $1,000 per week beginning your 2nd week of doing business excite you? How about never having to sell a thing to your customer and never having to talk to ANYONE to make money? I don't know how this could get any easier. EVERY aspect of selling or talking to someone is DONE COMPLETELY by the company! The number one home based business for the 2nd year in a row, Top Secrets is a member of the Better Business Bureau and the U.S. Chamber of Commerce. WHAT THIS BUSINESS WILL DO FOR YOU: * Handles all your calls, closes your sales, and sends you WEEKLY commission checks! * It pays you a $100 commission (that's over 50% of the total sale) for EVERY sale. CHECKS put $$$ in your pocket in less than your first week or two... Quick commission earnings build and maintain motivation. ALL YOU DO IS ADVERTISE the toll-free number and your ID number. * You can get STARTED TODAY. Just advertise the business toll-free number with your ID # and let this business CLOSE YOUR SALES every day... They do all the work and YOU GET PAID FOR IT! * You may advertise any way you choose: Bulk E-Mail, Flyers, Classifieds, Postcards, etc. Suppose you use bulk E-Mail, as I am: 100,000 E-Mails with a 1/10th of a percent (0.1%) sales rate at $100 per sale nets $10,000... not too bad. There is nothing else out there that will provide you with an immediate income beginning THIS WEEK with minimal effort. Before you call, I want you to think about the quality of the live operators handling your call. I am convinced you will not find a better team of closers for your own personal sales. You will clearly understand what I am talking about once you call. PLEASE DON'T LET THIS PASS YOU BY. MAKE THE CALL!! 1-800-811-2141 You will be asked for ID #56130 when you call. (Live operators are available from 8 AM-10 PM CST Monday through Saturday and will be able to answer any questions you may have.) Call one of the 24hr TESTIMONIAL lines at 888-703-5389, 888-446-6949, 888-446-6951 or 888-731-3457 (all toll free).

1 0

Re: Live At The CypherMore - SPACE ALIENS HIDE MY DRUGS!!!
by StanSqncrs＠aol.com 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

This is an interesting, coincidence? ;-) In a message dated 7/18/98 12:58:15 AM Central Daylight Time, lreed(a)west.cscwc.pima.edu writes: << The Author, for the first time realizing the dire warning hidden in ZZ Top's classic musical offering, 'Cheap Sun Glasses,' ... >> << ... Worried about the fact that some egoistical, elitist fuckwad might, at some point in the future, try to claim credit for the Author's discovery of MultiMedia, HeOrShe set Stanley's WayBack Machine to a point which corresponded to the exact Time-Space-Mind equivalent of the Nadir Point between alpha and omega, and could distinctly hear Tim C. May <tcmay(a)got.net> hollering, "I'm going to write about MultiMedia in the CypherPunks archives on the first day the list exists, and you will *never* get credit for the concept." >> ROFLOL! What's coincidental? The latest tune that my band, Nobody's Business (in which I play bass and sing) has learned, is Cheap Sunglasses by ZZ Top. If it ain't coinicidence, I got a 'scarecrow' in my band. Someone tell me if it's good or bad to be in the 'Space Aliens Hide My Drugs' series. ;-) Stan, Nobody's Business http://members.aol.com/stansqncrs/nobiz.html

1 0

There ARE NO Coincidences...
by Linda Reed--PCC West Campus CSC 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

* From: StanSqncrs(a)aol.com This is an interesting, coincidence? ;-) In a message dated 7/18/98 12:58:15 AM Central Daylight Time, lreed(a)west.cscwc.pima.edu writes: << The Author, for the first time realizing the dire warning hidden in ZZ Top's classic musical offering, 'Cheap Sun Glasses,' ... >> ROFLOL! What's coincidental? The latest tune that my band, Nobody's Business (in which I play bass and sing) has learned, is Cheap Sunglasses by ZZ Top. If it ain't coinicidence, I got a 'scarecrow' in my band. Someone tell me if it's good or bad to be in the 'Space Aliens Hide My Drugs' series. ;-) Stan, ~ ~ ~ ~ It's no coincidence, Stan...we've been keeping an eye on you. Toto ~~~~ p.s. - ou've got something hanging from your lip. p.p.s. - No...the *left* side...

1 0

PLEASE SEND ME FREE STUFF
by RAED SALAH 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

MY NAME IS BRENDA SALAH AND MY ADRESS IS PO BOX 218624 HOUSTON TX 77218 AND MY E MAIL ADRESS IS RAEDS(a)MSN.COM I WOULD LIKE TO START RECEVING FREE STUFF PLEASE E MAIL ME BACK AND LET ME KNOW HOW TO GET STARTED THANK YOU BRENDA SALAH RAEDS(a)MSN.COM

1 0

MORE
by RAED SALAH 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

MY NAME IS BRENDA SALAH AND I WOULD LOVE TO GET FREE STUFF MY ADDRESS IS PO BOX 218624 HOUSTON TX 77218 AND MY E MAIL ADDRESS IS RAEDS(a)MSN.COM THANK YOU

1 0

Re: There ARE NO Coincidences...
by StanSqncrs＠aol.com 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

In a message dated 7/18/98 3:56:56 AM Central Daylight Time, lreed(a)west.cscwc.pima.edu writes: << It's no coincidence, Stan...we've been keeping an eye on you. >> That's why I suggest listening to I Robot by Alan Parson's Project. Stan

1 0

Scanning the DES Cracker
by John Young 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

>From the EFF Web site: "Cracking DES" has been published only in print because US export controls on encryption make it a crime to publish such information on the Internet, but the book is designed to be easy to scan into computers. John Gilmore has written that he is unable to provide the digitized text of the book sitting on his desk due to export controls, and that Chapter 4 of the book explains what EFF expects to happen. EFF will link to an offshore URL as soon as the volume has been scanned and posted. We'll commence scanning the book as soon as it arrives here next week and will provide the exportable parts to those working on the US-forbidden.

1 0

Oi!
by Dumitru Tudor 17 Dec '03

17 Dec '03

We grew up with anger and violence... Is it a smart thing to use those things that destroyed our lives and planet to get what's right? I would really wanna hear what you think it's right. Lots of @narchy from, Pukie My E-mail:pukie@d3tudor.demon.nl

1 0