Re: PLEASE LET ME SLEEP OUTDOORS
Thanks for your reply. It's nice to hear from you and I am really sorry for disrupting your list and you. I saw that you support hackerspaces which is pretty cool. I'm still trying to figure out how to get on the hackerspaces.org mailing list, the times I tried I didn't get a reply from the listserv. Apologies for capitals I am in a very strange state of mind !! Do you understand this?: I USUALLY SLEEP OUTDOORS. MANY OVERWINTERED WITH ME DURING OCCUPY. Summary: I have lots of gear already, have engaged this situation ad nauseum, and love the ice and wind. I'm in a pretty limited dissociation atm but I expect to be able to get back out there! Your inspiring words help a ton !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But it's not your responsibility. If I don't go I may get hospitalized or ostractised for my email name which for now gives me impetus to keep trying. Note to self: You can sleep outdoors, Karl. In Northern Arctic Canada, everybody does this the whole winter while hunting nomadically. Some of them are computer programmers! The temperature right now is up near freezing so you'll be more than safe. I'm outdoors right now, come join me! On 12/28/21, wrote:
You can sleep outdoors. Be prepared, however, for varying weather conditions. You can find many items that you need at REI or other technical outfitters.
Best of luck.
On Tue, Aug 24, 2021 at 10:36 AM Karl <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
I do not know what to do. I am not able to kill myself with any reasonable likelihood.
I have spent my whole life focused around living outdoors with an idea of making everything right in a caring way.
I need to be able to sleep outdoors to be Karl Semich.
I need to be able to spend many days outdoors without going indoors, to sleep outdoors, with my current psychology.
PLEASE LET ME SLEEP OUTDOORS. PLEASE LET ME WORK OUTDOORS.
Thank you for any aid.
i'm outdoors :D ty all ! i didn't think i would be! !!
although that is debatable, i can still be sorry about it joogle? tfwno.joof?
I'm indoors again. This is pretty intense. I'm not angry or anything. I need my nervous system safer than how this feels. Looking for how this situation can be improved. Not reading too many emails atm. Hard to look at and process things. Let's find a way to make things better. Hope you are all well. I think you are really great.
i'm outdoors again :D thanks to the universe
i've been indoors for some time due to the strength of the pressures especially when i'm engaging habits I haven't practiced much during them it's pretty shocking to email other people and realise I signed my email with a name I can barely think. right now I just want to work on the machine learning task as I find way to. it's nice and it's rare to do something logical and productive. don't let anybody tell you that cold is dangerous or uncomfortable unless they are used to living in it all day and night. the frickin' indoors is dangerous, you could die from obesity or heat as you swelter in layers of wool and fur.
It is regrettable this thread is all caps and unlabeled with [spam] or [ot]. I received a reply to an email sent with this name, to the name "k". Raises more interestingness. I might put this goal on hold to recover. It is expressed in an aggressive way, showing it's not fully developed, but it's quite important. Two years ago I was outdoors. Last year I was indoors. This year and the end of last year I've been outdoors some, but many of my activities of life outdoors aren't happening. Time. After some time in a hospital, I really decided it would be much nicer to be dying homeless than trapped and influenced in those ways. There is so much life in the real world. Meaning for everyone. But like a child, you still have to escape, somehow.
The email was regarding a caving trip. On queue: verify that aligns with an email I sent them. It likely does.
double queue: - verify email - download the list of usa person data to devices i want to stop using, see if that can influence me
Wim Hof Method. This is a recreational practice followed by thousands of people for being comfortable in extreme cold.
Week 1: 30 seconds of cold shower after a warm shower, for one week. If I miss days, I can maybe modify the protocol to 10 days nonconsecutive. We'll just see how it goes. In week 2 you upgrade to 1 minute of cold water.
2022-03-21 0635 ET: [X] Week 1 Day 1 of Wim Hof Protocol. Performed indoors.
I felt scared to turn the water cold, but it ended up being surprisingly easy to endure. 30 seconds seemed very short, so much that I'm questioning I set the timer right, but I did. My body didn't really have time to get cold from the water.
On Mon, Mar 21, 2022, 6:37 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
2022-03-21 0635 ET: [X] Week 1 Day 1 of Wim Hof Protocol. Performed indoors.
2021-03-21 1643 ET: [X] Week 1 Day 1 Shower 2 of Wim Hof Protocol. Performed indoors. This time I put my head under the cold water for most of the 30 seconds, and this was much more noticeable, and invigorating. Meanwhile the rest of my body is really hot, compared to my chilled head. It seems I'm going to make typos writing the dates and numbers. Maybe I can revise them after the fact. The protocol I glanced at doesn't say to do it more than once per day. Still deciding how I want to count that. The goal is to reach the end!
2022-03-21 0635 ET: [X] Week 1 Day 1 of Wim Hof Protocol. Performed
indoors.
2021-03-21 1643 ET: [X] Week 1 Day 1 Shower 2 of Wim Hof Protocol. Performed indoors.
2021-03-22 0545 ET: [X] Week 1 Day 2 Shower 3 of Wim Hof Protocol. Performed indoors. As I began heading toward the bathroom, I started feeling cold inside. I thought of the hot shower to help me continue. In the shower, I kept feeling cold even while the water was steaming on me. It helped most to reduce the feeling to spray the hot water on the center top of my chest and back, under my neck and a little below. When I turned the water cold it was quite unpleasant. I ended up just chilling my hands and legs mostly, which quickly felt colder. 30 seconds seemed a longish time this time. With the cold water running, it was nice to feel cold on my outside and warm on my inside, after having those backward while the hot water was running. It made more sense and felt healthier. I think my phone is rapidly wearing from exposure to humidity. I should keep it more dry, and maybe use something else as a 30 second timer, ideally.
2022-03-21 0635 ET: [X] Week 1 Day 1 of Wim Hof Protocol. Performed
indoors. 2021-03-21 1643 ET: [+] Week 1 Day 1 Shower 2 of Wim Hof Protocol. Performed indoors. 2021-03-22 0545 ET: [X] Week 1 Day 2 Shower 3 of Wim Hof Protocol. Performed indoors. 2021-03-23 0707 ET: [X] Week 1 Day 3 Shower 4 of Wim Hof Protocol. Performed indoors. A little hard to write this, takes a smidge of dissociation. I only put my head under at the end briefly. Some areas of one's skin feel cold more than others, so the experience can be manageable. There is definitely invigoratingness. At some point it would be good to learn more what to focus on. Wrapped phone in towel to keep drier. Could still hear alarm. Also dried hair before touching to reduce drips. But, opened when air was too humid, condensation appeared on screen. Excited to have accomplished about half of week 1. Scared that I might stop or forget. Planning to get all the way through some way or another!
2022-03-21 0635 ET: [X] Week 1 Day 1 of Wim Hof Protocol. Performed indoors. 2021-03-21 1643 ET: [+] Week 1 Day 1 Shower 2 of Wim Hof Protocol. Performed indoors. 2021-03-22 0545 ET: [X] Week 1 Day 2 Shower 3 of Wim Hof Protocol. Performed indoors. 2021-03-23 0707 ET: [X] Week 1 Day 3 Shower 4 of Wim Hof Protocol. Performed indoors. 2021-03-24 0652 ET: [X] Week 1 Day 4 Shower 5 of Wim Hof Protocol. Performed indoors. My experiences have possibly settled into a degree of difficulty where it's hard but doable. Starts off scary then gets invigorating. I managed to keep my phone dry this time, and the spacebar is working better, although not all the way. The feeling is of simultaneous fear and excitement. I'm so worried I'll stop. But it really did get invigorating after the initial chill. I was thinking some of how fast to make it colder, and how long to let myself be warm prior, and how warm to be outside the shower, walking around. Not sure of these things. I have a problem with willpower, where trying hard to do things can cause me to lose control of my body and dissociate and stuff. This exercise, it seems not _quite_ as bad, which is nice. A focus of safety. Who knows how delicate! But yeah I hope I can get over that stuff somehow.
WEEK 1 Thirty seconds of cold water at the end of a warm shower
WEEK 2 One minute of cold water at the end of a warm shower
WEEK 3 A minute and a half of cold water at the end of a warm shower
WEEK 4 Two minutes of cold water at the end of a warm shower
Do this gradually and work your way up, at least five days a week. Follow
2022-03-21 0635 ET: [X] Week 1 Day 1 of Wim Hof Protocol. Performed indoors. 2021-03-21 1643 ET: [+] Week 1 Day 1 Shower 2 of Wim Hof Protocol. Performed indoors. 2021-03-22 0545 ET: [X] Week 1 Day 2 Shower 3 of Wim Hof Protocol. Performed indoors. 2021-03-23 0707 ET: [X] Week 1 Day 3 Shower 4 of Wim Hof Protocol. Performed indoors. 2021-03-24 0652 ET: [X] Week 1 Day 4 Shower 5 of Wim Hof Protocol. Performed indoors. 2021-03-25 0749 ET: [X] Week 1 Day 5 Shower 6 of Wim Hof Protocol. Performed indoors. The regularity of this effort helped do other routine things today. I spend some time with the water hot prior to changing it cold, and don't actually cleanse myself while it's cold, doing it all prior. The hardest part is turning it cold at the start. I think this would be easier if I changed those two things I do. Here's the excerpt I found in a book on library genesis: the feeling. Don’t force anything. It’s also fine to start with fifteen seconds and build up more slowly He says that the sense of shock should go away after 30 seconds. I'm not experiencing this quite yet. Maybe he means when you're into one minute. I'm noting he says "warm" shower, not "hot" shower. Maybe that's the primary thing to work on. I think it would reduce the shock for me.
Here's a section from the book a few chapters ahead (I was skimming for plan instructions): WHM AT-A-GLANCE THREE PILLARS OF A DAILY PRACTICE BREATH 1 While seated or lying down, take 30 to 40 full conscious breaths: Breathe fully in to the belly and the chest, then letting go, without force. 2 On your final exhale, let the air out and hold it out for as long as you can without discomfort. Listen to your body and don’t force it! 3 When you feel the urge to breathe again, take a deep breath in, hold for 10 to 15 seconds. Then release and relax. 4 Repeat the steps above two or three more times, paying attention to how you feel and adjusting your breath as needed. 5 Rest in this elevated state until you are ready to move on with your day. Alternatively, use the energy you just generated for your morning workout or yoga practice. Experiment with what feels right for you. FOR COMPLETE WHM BREATHING INSTRUCTIONS AND SAFETY GUIDELINES, SEE CHAPTER 4. MIND Your post-breathing practice state is the perfect time to program your mindset. Try this: 1 Before you get up from your breathing practice, bring up a thought in your mind like “Today I’m going to stay in the cold shower for 15 more seconds than yesterday,” or “I feel happy, healthy, and strong.” 2 Reflect on this thought and notice how your body feels. 3 If you identify any inner resistance to your intention, just keep breathing steadily until you feel an alignment between your body and mind. SEE CHAPTER 12 FOR DETAILS. COLD 1 At the end of your warm shower, turn the water to cold. 2 If you like you can start by first putting your feet and legs, than your arms, then your full torso under the water. 3 Do NOT do the WHM Basic Breathing Exercise while standing in the shower. 4 Gradually extend your exposure every day until you can handle two minutes in the cold. 5 If you are shivering when you get out, try the horse stance exercise. (See page 118 for details.) FOR FULL COLD EXPOSURE INSTRUCTIONS AND SAFETY GUIDELINES SEE CHAPTER 3. ---- That's through chapter five. No ice yet. Just cold water.
2022-03-21 0635 ET: [X] Week 1 Day 1 of Wim Hof Protocol. Performed indoors. 2022-03-21 1643 ET: [+] Week 1 Day 1 Shower 2 of Wim Hof Protocol. Performed indoors. 2022-03-22 0545 ET: [X] Week 1 Day 2 Shower 3 of Wim Hof Protocol. Performed indoors. 2022-03-23 0707 ET: [X] Week 1 Day 3 Shower 4 of Wim Hof Protocol. Performed indoors. 2022-03-24 0652 ET: [X] Week 1 Day 4 Shower 5 of Wim Hof Protocol. Performed indoors. 2022-03-25 0749 ET: [X] Week 1 Day 5 Shower 6 of Wim Hof Protocol. Performed indoors. 2022-03-26: [ ] Missed day 6 of week 1. I don't remember this day much at all at time of writing. 2021-03-27 0645 ET: [X] Week 1 Day 7 Shower 7 of Wim Hof Protocol. Performed indoors. It's hard to engage this today, but I did. I was going to try the breathing, but haven't yet. I took a shorter, cooler (kind of warm-hot) shower. It was hard to resist the urge to raise the temperature of the water, which sits in counterpoint to my habit through my teens and 20s of always turning the temperature colder and defaulting to showers without any hot water at all. It was harder to stand under the cold water for 30 seconds, and I shivered with only my arms getting wet. Afterward, it's much less invigorating, to only have my arms gotten cold. Motion toward looking up that horse stance to have confidence with shivering. The situation can seem harder from how my psychology engages my autonomic nervous system, but it makes sense to have had a little less capacity since the shower overall was colder. My previous long hot showers gave much more capacity. Plan is to still work it.
2022-03-21 0635 ET: [X] Week 1 Day 1 of Wim Hof Protocol. Performed indoors. 2022-03-21 1643 ET: [+] Week 1 Day 1 Shower 2 of Wim Hof Protocol. Performed indoors. 2022-03-22 0545 ET: [X] Week 1 Day 2 Shower 3 of Wim Hof Protocol. Performed indoors. 2022-03-23 0707 ET: [X] Week 1 Day 3 Shower 4 of Wim Hof Protocol. Performed indoors. 2022-03-24 0652 ET: [X] Week 1 Day 4 Shower 5 of Wim Hof Protocol. Performed indoors. 2022-03-25 0749 ET: [X] Week 1 Day 5 Shower 6 of Wim Hof Protocol. Performed indoors. 2022-03-26: [ ] Missed day 6 of week 1. I don't remember this day much at all at time of writing. 2021-03-27 0645 ET: [X] Week 1 Day 7 Shower 7 of Wim Hof Protocol. Performed indoors. 2021-03-27 1145 ET: [+] Week 1 Day 7 Shower 8. Indoors. I used hotter water, and let myself turn the temperature up habitually and spend a longer time again, before turning it all the way down for the 30 seconds, which rise to 1 minute tomorrow I think. I didn't shiver this time. I used to suppress my shivers, and that seemed to help me develop better cold tolerance, in the past. Something else I could eventually try. I also breathed deeply, not for the protocol but to ease the shock sensation while not feeling strong. I did it a little too much and my face got tingly, and having read the warning not to do the more extreme breathing exercise at the same time helped me not push myself too far and keep the experience seeming reasonable.
2022-03-21 thru 2022-03-27: [X] Week 1 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol, 30 seconds cold water daily. Performed indoors. 2022-03-28 0852 ET: [X] Week 2 Day 1 Shower 1 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Performed indoors. It was really, really hard for me to get my body to do anything at all this morning. I ended up in the shower with the water very hot, and just kept it hot as long as comfortable, warming my chest like I learned the day I was strangely cold. My inhibition issues seemed to step in when I was going to turn it cold, and I was worried. When I did, the cold was so intense and it seemed I could barely put my arms in. Then it seemed my 1 minute alarm went off after only a few seconds. I was confused, my hands were spasming and it was hard to work with my phone and direct things, to figure the alarm out. I ended up getting out of the shower, and starting a new one. Checking my alarm was 1 minute. Turning the water hot again. This time when I turned it cold, it was easy. I didn't mind at all and cold water was running down my face and such. It was so easy. When the minute happened I started feeling a deeper kind of chill, which also seemed workable, but I remember the issues I had with my experiences lashing back earlier and I didn't push it past the protocol. It's so inspiring, how easy it became the second time.
2022-03-21 thru 2022-03-27: [X] Week 1 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol, 30 seconds cold water daily. Performed indoors. 2022-03-28 0852 ET: [X] Week 2 Day 1 Shower 1 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Performed indoors. 2022-03-29 0841 ET: [X] Week 2 Day 2 Shower 2 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Performed indoors. There was some shock when I turned the water cold, but not nearly as much as yesterday. I bathed a little while the water was cold, and I didn't get the second deeper chill I experienced yesterday. Yesterday was hard so I thought I'd slowly raise the minutes so that there wasn't a sudden change for my inner experiences to respond to. Today I kept the water cold for 65 seconds. After, I tried to do just a little of the breathing. I have experiences that act in response to things similar to meditation, so I took it slow like with the cold water, and stopped as soon as there seemed to be an issue. I just breathed 5 or 6 times, twice. I can hold my breathe out for a long time, so I stopped when there was something noticeable, like a change around my eyes. To keep it simple at the start. It feels different to fill with oxygen more than normal, even a little.
2022-03-21 thru 2022-03-27: [X] Week 1 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol, 30 seconds cold water daily. Performed indoors. 2022-03-28 0852 ET: [X] Week 2 Day 1 Shower 1 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Performed indoors. 2022-03-29 0841 ET: [X] Week 2 Day 2 Shower 2 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Performed indoors. 2022-03-30 1017 ET: [X] Week 2 Day 3 Shower 3 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Performed indoors. Yesterday I patched some breathing on afterward. This time I tried the breathing before the shower. I breathed 10-11 times in 3 groups, holding my breath out for 1:18 at the end. My skin felt warm and energised. I also tried a little of the mind practice, and the phrase I liked was "I love to be alive," where "alive" is both being physically alive and that instinctive joy of doing things in life, moving, experiencing, learning, actively always, that we mean when we say "really feeling alive" . I decided I think this is really basic. And it really engages my inner struggles with my issues, and how I'd prefer for them to go, while supporting the ones that dislike things like my past attempt at suicide. I love to be really alive. Breathing had an intention hiccup around 5 breaths, but I used my dissociation coping strategies to continue, and felt like I could have gone more than 11. Breathing seemed powerful and I wanted to hasten the whole practice, but I've failed at so many attempts like this one, to regain my preferences around my life habits, that I just bumped the time by 10 seconds instead of 5. I figured I can bump it by more if it goes well. I took a short, warmish shower, turned it a little colder as it ran, and rinsed my soap off after turning it cold for 1:15 . It was a little shocking but not too much. Afterward it felt fun to be cold. I didn't get my head and torso cold enough for the invigorating feeling, but it feels fun.
There's a heater in this indoor bathroom that keeps the air abnormally warm inside. I'd like to try to keep it off. If it's been on, I could do something to cool the air.
2022-03-21 thru 2022-03-27: [X] Week 1 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol, 30 seconds cold water daily. Performed indoors. 2022-03-28 0852 ET: [X] Week 2 Day 1 Shower 1 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Performed indoors. 2022-03-29 0841 ET: [X] Week 2 Day 2 Shower 2 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Performed indoors. 2022-03-30 1017 ET: [X] Week 2 Day 3 Shower 3 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Performed indoors. 2022-03-30 0519 ET: [+] Week 2 Day 3 Shower 4 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Indoors. I didn't do the breathing and kept the time at 1:15, to increase the ease. I was struggling a lot, and feel so much better after 1:15 of cold water. Like, I can think and do things I couldn't do before.
2022-03-21 thru 2022-03-27: [X] Week 1 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol, 30 seconds cold water daily. Performed indoors. 2022-03-28 0852 ET: [X] Week 2 Day 1 Shower 1 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Performed indoors. 2022-03-29 0841 ET: [X] Week 2 Day 2 Shower 2 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Performed indoors. 2022-03-30 1017 ET: [X] Week 2 Day 3 Shower 3 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Performed indoors. 2022-03-30 0519 ET: [+] Week 2 Day 3 Shower 4 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Indoors. 2022-03-31 1155 ET: [X] Week 2 Day 4 Shower 5 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Indoors. I was struggling this morning, skipped trying the breathing again, and again felt so much better when I was cold. I was thinking on this while cold, and planning on trying the breathing afterward since my body and mind were working better, and then it suddenly felt much much colder, from my inner experiences. But this is a journey on learning that those can reduce. I bumped the time to 120.
On Thu, Mar 31, 2022, 11:57 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
2022-03-21 thru 2022-03-27: [X] Week 1 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol, 30 seconds cold water daily. Performed indoors.
2022-03-28 0852 ET: [X] Week 2 Day 1 Shower 1 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Performed indoors.
2022-03-29 0841 ET: [X] Week 2 Day 2 Shower 2 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Performed indoors.
2022-03-30 1017 ET: [X] Week 2 Day 3 Shower 3 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Performed indoors.
2022-03-30 0519 ET: [+] Week 2 Day 3 Shower 4 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Indoors.
2022-03-31 1155 ET: [X] Week 2 Day 4 Shower 5 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Indoors.
2022-04-07 1054 ET: Week 2 interrupted. [X] Shower 6, 5 days over a total of 12 days or so. 1:20 . I've been struggling and the cold water did make things somewhat easier. The days skipped resulted in it being a little harder to spend time in the cold water. Bumping the time to 1:25 for whenever it happens next.
2022-03-21 thru 2022-03-27: [X] Week 1 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol, 30 seconds cold water daily. Performed indoors. 2022-03-28 0852 ET: [X] Week 2 Day 1 Shower 1 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Performed indoors. 2022-03-29 0841 ET: [X] Week 2 Day 2 Shower 2 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Performed indoors. 2022-03-30 1017 ET: [X] Week 2 Day 3 Shower 3 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Performed indoors. 2022-03-30 0519 ET: [+] Week 2 Day 3 Shower 4 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Indoors. 2022-03-31 1155 ET: [X] Week 2 Day 4 Shower 5 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Indoors. 2022-04-07 1054 ET: Week 2 interrupted. [X] Shower 6, 5 days over a total of 12 days or so. 1:20 . 2022-04-08 0648 ET: [X] Extended Week 2 Day 6 Shower 7 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Indoors. 1:25 . I realized/remembered this shower goes colder than I was setting it, which was a bit of a blast. I've changed my phone to split screen mode to keep the EEG app open, and had trouble finding the start button, resulting in much more time in cold water. Took it slow, lots of gasps, put my head in at the very end. Wim Hof mentions something about vascular blood vessels near the skin, and improving them. Thinking about that a little. So shocked, but also quite warm still and the cold is still fun and invigorating. Be nice to be less shocked. But I think the colder temperature combined with the extended time from not finding the new button location, and having missed a week, are basically why it seemed a little shocking. Excited to move forward. I have an idea of eating meals associated with wim hof protocol. Eating is a big urge for me now: gaining weight. Might help.
2022-03-21 thru 2022-03-27: [X] Week 1 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol, 30 seconds cold water daily. Performed indoors. 2022-03-28 0852 ET: [X] Week 2 Day 1 Shower 1 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Performed indoors. 2022-03-29 0841 ET: [X] Week 2 Day 2 Shower 2 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Performed indoors. 2022-03-30 1017 ET: [X] Week 2 Day 3 Shower 3 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Performed indoors. 2022-03-30 0519 ET: [+] Week 2 Day 3 Shower 4 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Indoors. 2022-03-31 1155 ET: [X] Week 2 Day 4 Shower 5 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Indoors. 2022-04-07 1054 ET: Week 2 interrupted. [X] Shower 6, 5 days over a total of 12 days or so. 1:20 . 2022-04-08 0648 ET: [X] Extended Week 2 Day 6 Shower 7 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Indoors. 1:25 . 2022-0408 1046 ET: [+] Extended Week 2 Day 6 Shower 8, Wim Hof cold Protocol. Indoors. 1:25 I ate food while doing the breathing, 30x2 breaths. Not as intense when doing while eating, but still intense. I tried to do some of my old physical exercises after, but the inhibition started kicking in strongly and I figured I should take it slowly. Turned the water to the more cold setting. It was shocking the whole way through, and then I was warm afterward. It could be good to find some way so that it's easier again. If I can keep this up, I imagine I'l reaccommodate, but don't want to break it.
On Fri, Apr 8, 2022, 10:49 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
2022-03-21 thru 2022-03-27: [X] Week 1 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol, 30 seconds cold water daily. Performed indoors.
2022-03-28 0852 ET: [X] Week 2 Day 1 Shower 1 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Performed indoors.
2022-03-29 0841 ET: [X] Week 2 Day 2 Shower 2 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Performed indoors.
2022-03-30 1017 ET: [X] Week 2 Day 3 Shower 3 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Performed indoors.
2022-03-30 0519 ET: [+] Week 2 Day 3 Shower 4 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Indoors.
2022-03-31 1155 ET: [X] Week 2 Day 4 Shower 5 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Indoors.
2022-04-07 1054 ET: Week 2 interrupted. [X] Shower 6, 5 days over a total of 12 days or so. 1:20 .
2022-04-08 0648 ET: [X] Extended Week 2 Day 6 Shower 7 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol. Indoors. 1:25 .
2022-0408 1046 ET: [+] Extended Week 2 Day 6 Shower 8, Wim Hof cold Protocol. Indoors. 1:30
2022-04-12 1826 ET: 1:30 it's clear that trying hard to do things makes them stop ;p maybe this will go better for me at a future time if it do continue, it might make sense to go back to 15 seconds and shower with every meal.
2022-03-21 thru 2022-03-27: [X] Week 1 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol, 30 seconds cold water daily. Performed indoors. 2022-03-28 thru 2022-04-12: [ ] it simply got harder and harder to shower at all as I stretched the cold water time toward 1:30 in week 2 and discovered my water could be made colder than I had had it before 2022-04-14 0924 ET: [X] Custom protocol reacclimation, 1 meal , 5 seconds of cold water I have appointments today so it seemed easier to shower. I took breakfast into the shower, started prior, finished after. I dropped the time to 5 seconds with intent to ramp up, hoping it would reduce the pressure. Let's see how long I can shower with every meal.
On Thu, Apr 14, 2022, 9:27 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
2022-03-21 thru 2022-03-27: [X] Week 1 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol, 30 seconds cold water daily. Performed indoors.
2022-03-28 thru 2022-04-12: [ ] it simply got harder and harder to shower at all as I stretched the cold water time toward 1:30 in week 2 and discovered my water could be made colder than I had had it before
2022-04-14 0924 ET: [X] Custom protocol reacclimation, 1 meal , 5 seconds of cold water
2022-04-14 1120 ET: [X] 10 seconds with food It still feels hard to do. It's exciting to imagine the showers getting easy again. I'm wondering whether the periods of keeping the duration the same are important. I've dropped them. 2022-04-14 1551 ET: [X] 15 seconds with food I have an eating urge these weeks, and it is really helping the cold shower thing. Taking frequent showers there's much less need to build up with hot water prior and it gets faster. This time I ate after rather than before and I think it might help a lot with the incentivisation. 2022-04-14 1826 ET: [X] 20 seconds with food It started getting hard to select foods I've eaten this way. I ended up adding spices to change it. It was hard to go to the shower, so I began eating just near it without planning the whole thing, and then I seemed able to do it. 2022-04-15 0456 ET: [X] 25 seconds with food I woke up early while still trying to avoid a frightening psychotic break threatening from yesterday. I got incredibly hungry, possibly associated with avoiding a project I was pursuing, unsure. The urge to eat was so hard to manage, and helped me shower. Things are a little confusing this morning. 2022-04-15 1027 ET: [X] 30 seconds with food My new habit of turning the water hotter and hotter kicked in before I turn it cold. This seemed to make it much easier. It was hard seeming right before, but I feel confident after. I remember how well 30 seconds went the first week. 2022-04-16 0843 ET: [X] 35 seconds with food Yesterday I had an autonomic nervous system conflict where I suddenly got very ill for hours instead of eating and showering, right when I was about to go in the shower. I felt better after a nap. For a while when I got hungry, I would think of showering, and then hunger would go away. Just had some food in response to an urge, and 35 seconds of cold water. At one point I felt how cold it was and I was all "oh no this is so cold what will I do" , I was imagining being cold forever, and then I remembered it was only 35 seconds and relaxed. For around 5 seconds it felt enjoyable like the first weeks! I'm pretty confused with other psychological issues. We'll see how this continues.
2022-03-21 thru 2022-03-27: [X] Week 1 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol, 30 seconds cold water daily. Performed indoors. 2022-03-28 thru 2022-04-12: [ ] it simply got harder and harder to shower at all as I stretched the cold water time toward 1:30 in week 2 and discovered my water could be made colder than I had had it before 2022-04-14 0924 ET: [X] Custom protocol reacclimation, 1 meal , 5 seconds of cold water 2022-04-14 1120 ET: [X] 10 seconds with food 2022-04-14 1551 ET: [X] 15 seconds with food 2022-04-14 1826 ET: [X] 20 seconds with food 2022-04-15 0456 ET: [X] 25 seconds with food 2022-04-15 1027 ET: [X] 30 seconds with food 2022-04-16 0843 ET: [X] 35 seconds with food 2022-04-16 1128 ET: [X] 35 seconds with food I repeated 35 seconds. It was so much easier to be in the cold water oh my god. It was really hard leading up to it. I seemed able to barely do or plan anything other than eating, but showering was a block. I ended up showering for the purpose of eating afterward. Still pretty confused. 2022-04-16 1326 ET: [X] 35 seconds with a lot of food Very hard to start. Not hard once started. Thought of fasting to avoid, so hard to start. I get kind of dissociated and it becomes very hard to remember what I'm doing or make decisions about anything. Scared. Left some electronic devices near shower. 2022-04-16 1528 ET: [X] 35 seconds. no food. I feel like if I keep going, it will be because I showered again after I thought I couldn't. A friend once told me that it is important to _always_ exceed expectations. Regarding the cold water, it was much much easier and is starting to feel invigorating again. 2022-04-16 2213 ET: [X] 40 seconds with food, indoors. Much easier to start. I also found a way to continue with my serialice work which helped calm me. Did a warmish shower instead of a hot shower. The cold water at the end didn't seem as easy as last time, a little shivery. I guess how warm the preceding water is, impacts how it goes. It seems really helpful to have it feel easy. Thinking of attending to that more as I change temperatures and increase times. 2022-04-17 0743 ET: [X] 40 seconds with food, indoors The cold water was easy this time. After a bit, it almost didn't seem cold enough, even though I had the temperature all the way down like when it was very hard. I attended to what angle the knob was at during the warm shower prior, so I could redo the amount. I'm thinking 2-3 showers at each degree of chill might make sense for me right now. 2022-04-17 1154 ET: [X] 40 seconds with food, indoors There was a freak snow here today, and I'd opened the bathroom window and let cold air in. The cold water felt much colder, and the warm water much less warm, with an environment of cold air. A tiny bit shivery. It still wasn't as cold as I thought it would be after only 40 seconds, which is always a good thing. 2022-04-17 1355 ET: [X] 45+30 seconds with snack, indoors I accidentally had my phone in silent mode and stayed in for 30 seconds extra. Air still cold. It's reasonable but hard enough I'm rather worried it could trigger my inhibitions for another week. Something to think about. Maybe I'll turn the warm part warmer or something. 2022-04-17 1622 ET: [X] 45 seconds cold water with food, indoors I was having a lot of social anxiety and wanted to comfort eat, so I did the cold water too. It's pretty cold. I'm wondering if the breathing and things would help. It makes sense, if you're anxious, that it would. I forgot to take my phone out of silent mode which added to my anxiety some ;p . But I seemed to guess when 45 seconds was up pretty accurately. 2022-04-18 1023 ET: [X] 45 seconds cold water with food, indoors I ate a sugar cookie right as the water went cold. I imagine this helping me repeat the behavior, not really sure. Afterward, I'm having a mysterious and painful strong itch. Distraction by this makes it hard to remember details of how the exercise went. But it wasn't too hard, and the air was relatively warm. It's apparent from the lack of fogging of things that I'm successfully weaning off hot water. Time to bump to 50 seconds.
2022-03-21 thru 2022-03-27: [X] Week 1 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol, 30
seconds cold water daily. Performed indoors. 2022-03-28 thru 2022-04-12: [ ] it simply got harder and harder to shower at all as I stretched the cold water time toward 1:30 in week 2 and discovered my water could be made colder than I had had it before 2022-04-14 thru 2022-04-15: [X] Custom protocol reacclimation, ramped up in five second intervals from 5 seconds to 30 seconds, every time I ate 2022-04-16 0843 ET: [X] 35 seconds with food 2022-04-16 1128 ET: [X] 35 seconds with food 2022-04-16 1326 ET: [X] 35 seconds with a lot of food 2022-04-16 1528 ET: [X] 35 seconds. no food. 2022-04-16 2213 ET: [X] 40 seconds with food, indoors. 2022-04-17 0743 ET: [X] 40 seconds with food, indoors 2022-04-17 1154 ET: [X] 40 seconds with food, indoors 2022-04-17 1355 ET: [X] 45+30 seconds with snack, indoors 2022-04-17 1622 ET: [X] 45 seconds cold water with food, indoors 2022-04-18 1023 ET: [X] 45 seconds cold water with food, indoors 2022-04-18 1516 ET: [X] 50 seconds cold water after a snack, indoors I had been eating chocolate outdoors to get myself to return to the outdoors, and went outside today and habitually ate some, so I did 50 seconds of cold water. I had an intense conversation around this and was energised to push farther some. Still feeling it out. I put my head under the cold water much more, felt like an "icecream headache", but afterward I feel like I can feel myself adapting. It was shocking but I feel really confident it will get less shocking. I didn't really try much warm water prior. Seemed unnecessary. Emotions seem to influence it a lot. I was kind of angry around not doing it today, and that really made it easier. Meanwhile when I was anxious and wanting comfort it was really hard. 2022-04-18 1702 ET: [X] 50 seconds cold water with food, indoors. I put my head under almost the whole time, and didn't get an "icecream headache" until the very end. The air's relatively warm and I spent a little bit of time in the warm water before turning it cold. I have a DC freezer I've begun setting up to make ice. My angry feeling was moving toward sadness, so it's heartening that this went pretty well. I kept the time at 50 seconds because I was worried that sadness would be like anxiety. Oh, and the food I ate was a bit of hot bread. This probably warmed me up some. I made a point of having some of it right after I turned the water cold, like the sugar cookie earlier. 2022-04-19 1001 ET: [X] 55 seconds with food. Indoors. I cleaned my body during the 55 seconds, which was easier and extended the time a little, but my head didn't get as wet nor cold. Seems helpful to consider classifying the cold showers between easy and hard. This was a relatively easy one. Interested in trying 60 seconds next time if all goes well. I was thinking of reaching 60 seconds and how inspiring that would be after dropping the task from inhibition for a week at 90 seconds. I guess I shouldn't assume I have free will or anything unless I can get past 90 seconds reliably. 2022-04-19 1445 ET: [X] 60 seconds with food. Indoors. Difficulty: medium-hard Nowadays after I accomplish part of a task I tend to get a burst of inhibition, and after the serial step I did the cold shower. I made a mistake and added 10 seconds to the time instead of 5. It started out a little hard and I put my head under a lot. Definitely got the icecream headache. Got confused when I didn't hear the alarm quite fast enough. I started a little discouraged and confused, and I was shivering afterward, which is quite rare. I was thinking of maybe dropping it down to 55 seconds for next time. 2022-04-19 1703 ET: [X] 55 seconds with food + other. Indoors. Difficulty: started hard, ended medium-easy I was engaging inhibition around the serial programmer thing and got a lot of food to do the cold water. I was cold before I got in, and ended up eating more prior than planned, and exercising to try to warm up. I think the air was colder from the weather and turning off the heat in the room. It was cold, but the warm water prior felt much warmer on me that usual. It took me a false start and further delay to reach out into the colder air and turn on the cold water, but once I did I was more ready than I thought I'd be. I could feel myself being prepared for it. In the cold water it was cold. I breathed deep and clenched my muscles. I ended up exercising in the shower to be warm, and ended up feeling energized by the time it was over. Exercise is big for me. I'm quite thankful to be able to do a little for the cold. A norm of exercise was how I used to make the cold pleasant, years ago. It seems like steadiness is incredibly helpful with my reduced willpower. Similar temperatures, similar moods, similar durations. Something I can think about. Like that other time, my body wasn't really warming my core this time unless I exercised or sprayed warm water under my neck. I think there's a big psychological component going on that actually impacts my body. 2022-04-20 0850 ET: [X] 55 seconds with food indoors, air cold Difficulty: medium I read two chapters of a wim hof book. The heat's been lower and it's harder to imagine the cold shower without the warmth around it. Reading the book helped more than I thought. I ate food prior to the shower and exercised a little. I ate a sugar cookie right as I turned the water cold, and bathed in cold water. It ended up being a lot easier than I thought it would be this morning. I am a little shivery afterward, not exercising and in the colder air.
On Wed, Apr 20, 2022, 8:53 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
2022-03-21 thru 2022-03-27: [X] Week 1 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol, 30 seconds cold water daily. Performed indoors.
2022-03-28 thru 2022-04-12: [ ] it simply got harder and harder to shower at all as I stretched the cold water time toward 1:30 in week 2 and discovered my water could be made colder than I had had it before
2022-04-14 thru 2022-04-15: [X] Custom protocol reacclimation, ramped up in five second intervals from 5 seconds to 30 seconds, every time I ate
2022-04-16 0843 ET: [X] 35 seconds with food
2022-04-16 1128 ET: [X] 35 seconds with food
2022-04-16 1326 ET: [X] 35 seconds with a lot of food
2022-04-16 1528 ET: [X] 35 seconds. no food.
2022-04-16 2213 ET: [X] 40 seconds with food, indoors.
2022-04-17 0743 ET: [X] 40 seconds with food, indoors
2022-04-17 1154 ET: [X] 40 seconds with food, indoors
2022-04-17 1355 ET: [X] 45+30 seconds with snack, indoors
2022-04-17 1622 ET: [X] 45 seconds cold water with food, indoors
2022-04-18 1023 ET: [X] 45 seconds cold water with food, indoors
2022-04-18 1516 ET: [X] 50 seconds cold water after a snack, indoors
2022-04-18 1702 ET: [X] 50 seconds cold water with food, indoors.
2022-04-19 1001 ET: [X] 55 seconds with food. Indoors.
2022-04-19 1445 ET: [X] 60 seconds with food. Indoors. Difficulty: medium-hard
2022-04-19 1703 ET: [X] 55 seconds with food + other. Indoors. Difficulty: started hard, ended medium-easy
2022-04-20 0850 ET: [X] 55 seconds with food indoors, air cold Difficulty: medium
2022-04-20 1552 ET: [X] 55 seconds cold water with food, air cold difficulty: hard this was very hard to initiate, and I was refraining from eating. again I made a false start turning the alarm on, to stay in warm water longer. when it turned cold (I didn't have a sugar cookie) I breathed deeply and kept breathing hard, remembering wim hof's story of going into his frozen-over water body a second time. It definitely reduced the cold. I kept breathing hard as I got out. sometimes getting out can be a cold shock too, if I stop a warming technique i'm trying. in his instructions, he says not to do the breathing exercises in the shower, so I may want to reduce that. breathe outside, then go in, I'm guessing. we'll see. worried i'll have trouble continuing again. regarding emotions, I was really down (and inhibited) this time. seems like the biggest reason it was hard. 2022-04-20 1753 ET: [X] 55 seconds cold water with hot food indoors Difficulty: Medium-easy Lots of hot food helped a lot. Sugar cookie when I turned it cold. The water's still feeling much colder than before the air temperature dropped and then later I got kind of down. I breathed and I did push-ups against the wall under running cold water, and this seemed sufficient for the 55 seconds. I think my part remembered wim hof's morning pushups. I had the phone in silent by accident, but when 55 seconds came around I suddenly thought the water seemed much colder than it should, and checked and the time was up. Still hard to continue but quite happy that it was easier than last time. Sugar cookie seemed to help, big reinforcer. Hot food probably helped a lot. 2022-04-21 0709 ET: [X] 55 seconds with some food. indoors. difficulty: medium I was actually energized from finding a possible way to have a safer life. somebody online was talking about working with an app for muslims that contained malware, said their interest was to protect capitalism. I asked what to be to be in the protected set and I think it was basically white american lower middle class, maybe new zealand or eastern europe if usa's in a conflict. conversation progressed around economics of capitalism. I dunno if I can live outdoors if i'm normal lower middle class. it's so hard to think about things. but it's nice to have an idea of how to possibly be safer. I didn't have a sugar cookie. the hardest part was turning the water cold. I did pushups and breathing but stopped partway through. 2022-04-21 0947 ET: [X] 55 seconds cold water with food Difficulty: easy-medium Very hard to start because of lower-middle-class worry. Had a sugar cookie when turned the water cold. Didn't exercise or breathe hard! 2022-04-21 1757 ET: [X] 60 seconds with food and cookie 2022-04-22 0838 ET: [X] 60 seconds with food and cookie, indoors, air warmed Difficulty: easy-medium I had turned the heater back on. I'm turning it back off for next time. It wasn't too hard and I sprayed the cold water on my face which is the hardest area. The sugar cookie was helpful in aiding interpreting small shocks as rewarding and pleasant. 2022-04-22 0934 ET: [X] 60 seconds with a little food, indoors Difficulty: easy-medium Increased the time to 65 seconds. It's still hard, that moment of turning the water cold. Harder than last month. It gives ease how as the time gets longer 5 seconds is a smaller portion of it. 2022-04-22 1930 ET: [X] 65 seconds
2022-03-21 thru 2022-03-27: [X] Week 1 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol, 30 seconds cold water daily. Performed indoors. 2022-03-28 thru 2022-04-12: [ ] it simply got harder and harder to shower at all as I stretched the cold water time toward 1:30 in week 2 and discovered my water could be made colder than I had had it before 2022-04-14 thru 2022-04-15: [X] Custom protocol reacclimation, ramped up in five second intervals from 5 seconds to 30 seconds, every time I ate 2022-04-16 thru 2022-04-22: [X] Ramped up from 35 seconds through 60 seconds, in 5 second intervals, every time I ate
2022-04-22 1930 ET: [X] 65 seconds
2022-04-23 1130 ET: [X] 1:05 Still harder than last month. But I'm feeling confident with my consistency. My funny experiences stepped in around when 60-65 seconds hit. I fumbled the timer and did it a few seconds longer than planned, and they came in and it felt really cold suddenly. 2022-04-23 1714 ET: [X] 1:05 cold water, indoors, no food, no cookie difficulty: easy-medium I thought I'd stop eating immediately with showering to get myself to do it, if it seemed reasonable, since the instructions said not to do the breathing it seemed there was likely value around not needing the food. In retrospect it was a bad time to stop a reinforcement because the first 4-5 timing devices I tried for measuring the time had mysteriously stopped functioning in some way or another. So I'm on the raspberry pi now instead of a phone, for editing this email. The shower wasn't too hard, but the difficulty timing it is worrisome. Gotta keep it smooth and continuing. I was happy going some seconds over the time. 2022-04-24 0907 ET: [X] 1:05 cold water, food after completion, indoors Difficulty: easy-medium Refraining from eating until afterward. It takes a little conscious effort to adapt to the cold water when it turns cold, which is interesting. Weather is warming and air is getting warmer. Thinking of keeping ice near the shower to cool the air a little. Upping time to 1:10 . 2022-04-24 1416 ET: [X] 1:10 cold water, food after, indoors Difficulty: medium 2022-04-24 1809 ET: [X] 1:10 cold water, food after, indoors Difficulty: medium I was anxious and stayed in the warm water first for some time. Then turned it cold and used that nascent willpower to handle the chill. The ability to direct my attitude around the temperature has been developing slowly and shakily. I've had a big problem with willpower; engaging it can cause psychotic issues. But here it's been gently growing in part of me, feeling different from the big issues. Very rare and hopeful. I got cold in the water and got goosebumps this time. The alarm went off and I tried to consciously engage the attitude thing again, and with huge relief succeeded this once on more of my own schedule. I stayed a few seconds past. I've been struggling in other diverse ways, but I was wondering if the chilliness was from adapting to warmer air as the weather warms. Not certain, as the water still feels warm compared to when it seemed colder than my earlier hot showers. 2022-04-25 1623 ET: [X] 1:10 cold water, food after, indoors Difficulty: medium-easy I was thinking how warm it was and did this. I didn't use much warm water prior, which I consider for a reason it felt colder than usual. 2022-04-26 0710 ET: [X] 1:10 cold water, food after, indoors Difficulty: medium-easy The biggest issue was starting, which is still worrisome. I took a longer warm shower prior because I wanted to bathe. I stayed under some seconds after and got the icecream headache. It seems past time to up the length, but it's been a big struggle initiating it. Not certain. The cold water inhibition wants my food urge to separate from it, it's easier to eat prior than after. I was thinking of tracking when and how much I eat, to take migrating off it slowly and purposefully like the water. Unsure. 2022-04-26 1444 ET: [X] 1:10 cold water with food Difficulty: medium I had a very little food before, which helped immensely in starting. I then skipped the warm water mostly, and the cold water was very cold! Icecream headache quickly, goosebumps. I'm still thinking of just upping it to 1:15. -> entries from the 26th through the 28th lost due to editing gmail draft on multiple systems with intermittent connectivity. on the 27th I had only one meal. during most of the period I was struggling and confused. <- 2022-04-28 1119 ET: [X] 1:15 cold water with food after, indoors Difficulty: medium-easy I'm exploring developing a little willpower with regard to resisting the cold. This time I decided to try less hard and just get used to it, which seemed to work ok as well. 2022-04-28 1644 ET: [X] 1:15 cold water with food after, indoors Difficulty: medium-easy Still pretty cold, but easier to do. Upping to 1:20. 2022-04-29 0936 ET: [X] 1:20 cold water prior to food, indoors Difficulty: medium-easy I almost forgot to log this one. It was still very cold to start, but 1:20 seemed like a very short time. 2022-04-29 1117 ET: [X] 1:20 cold water prior to food, indoors Difficult: medium It got a little hard to log. I added some orange slices to my food which seems to help. Warming the food helps too. I was thinking of how close I am to being back to 1:30! Take it gently, be confident.
On Fri, Apr 29, 2022, 4:36 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
2022-03-21 thru 2022-03-27: [X] Week 1 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol, 30 seconds cold water daily. Performed indoors.
2022-03-28 thru 2022-04-12: [ ] it simply got harder and harder to shower at all as I stretched the cold water time toward 1:30 in week 2 and discovered my water could be made colder than I had had it before
2022-04-14 thru 2022-04-15: [X] Custom protocol reacclimation, ramped up in five second intervals from 5 seconds to 30 seconds, every time I ate
2022-04-16 thru 2022-04-22: [X] Ramped up from 35 seconds through 60 seconds, in 5 second intervals, every time I ate
2022-04-22 1930 ET: [X] 65 seconds
2022-04-23 1130 ET: [X] 1:05
Still harder than last month. But I'm feeling confident with my consistency.
My funny experiences stepped in around when 60-65 seconds hit. I fumbled the timer and did it a few seconds longer than planned, and they came in and it felt really cold suddenly.
2022-04-23 1714 ET: [X] 1:05 cold water, indoors, no food, no cookie difficulty: easy-medium
I thought I'd stop eating immediately with showering to get myself to do it, if it seemed reasonable, since the instructions said not to do the breathing it seemed there was likely value around not needing the food.
In retrospect it was a bad time to stop a reinforcement because the first 4-5 timing devices I tried for measuring the time had mysteriously stopped functioning in some way or another. So I'm on the raspberry pi now instead of a phone, for editing this email.
The shower wasn't too hard, but the difficulty timing it is worrisome. Gotta keep it smooth and continuing. I was happy going some seconds over the time.
2022-04-24 0907 ET: [X] 1:05 cold water, food after completion, indoors Difficulty: easy-medium
Refraining from eating until afterward.
It takes a little conscious effort to adapt to the cold water when it turns cold, which is interesting.
Weather is warming and air is getting warmer. Thinking of keeping ice near the shower to cool the air a little.
Upping time to 1:10 .
2022-04-24 1416 ET: [X] 1:10 cold water, food after, indoors Difficulty: medium
2022-04-24 1809 ET: [X] 1:10 cold water, food after, indoors Difficulty: medium
I was anxious and stayed in the warm water first for some time. Then turned it cold and used that nascent willpower to handle the chill.
The ability to direct my attitude around the temperature has been developing slowly and shakily. I've had a big problem with willpower; engaging it can cause psychotic issues. But here it's been gently growing in part of me, feeling different from the big issues. Very rare and hopeful.
I got cold in the water and got goosebumps this time. The alarm went off and I tried to consciously engage the attitude thing again, and with huge relief succeeded this once on more of my own schedule. I stayed a few seconds past.
I've been struggling in other diverse ways, but I was wondering if the chilliness was from adapting to warmer air as the weather warms. Not certain, as the water still feels warm compared to when it seemed colder than my earlier hot showers.
2022-04-25 1623 ET: [X] 1:10 cold water, food after, indoors Difficulty: medium-easy
I was thinking how warm it was and did this. I didn't use much warm water prior, which I consider for a reason it felt colder than usual.
2022-04-26 0710 ET: [X] 1:10 cold water, food after, indoors Difficulty: medium-easy
The biggest issue was starting, which is still worrisome.
I took a longer warm shower prior because I wanted to bathe.
I stayed under some seconds after and got the icecream headache.
It seems past time to up the length, but it's been a big struggle initiating it. Not certain. The cold water inhibition wants my food urge to separate from it, it's easier to eat prior than after. I was thinking of tracking when and how much I eat, to take migrating off it slowly and purposefully like the water. Unsure.
2022-04-26 1444 ET: [X] 1:10 cold water with food Difficulty: medium
I had a very little food before, which helped immensely in starting. I then skipped the warm water mostly, and the cold water was very cold! Icecream headache quickly, goosebumps.
I'm still thinking of just upping it to 1:15.
-> entries from the 26th through the 28th lost due to editing gmail draft on multiple systems with intermittent connectivity. on the 27th I had only one meal. during most of the period I was struggling and confused. <-
2022-04-28 1119 ET: [X] 1:15 cold water with food after, indoors Difficulty: medium-easy
I'm exploring developing a little willpower with regard to resisting the cold. This time I decided to try less hard and just get used to it, which seemed to work ok as well.
2022-04-28 1644 ET: [X] 1:15 cold water with food after, indoors Difficulty: medium-easy
Still pretty cold, but easier to do. Upping to 1:20.
2022-04-29 0936 ET: [X] 1:20 cold water prior to food, indoors Difficulty: medium-easy
I almost forgot to log this one. It was still very cold to start, but 1:20 seemed like a very short time.
2022-04-29 1117 ET: [X] 1:20 cold water prior to food, indoors Difficult: medium
It got a little hard to log.
I added some orange slices to my food which seems to help. Warming the food helps too.
I was thinking of how close I am to being back to 1:30! Take it gently, be confident.
2022-04-30 0628 ET: [X] 1:20 cold water before food, indoors, easy-medium I had a rough day yesterday and for the first time this round ate without showering. It is quite inspiring to do this again. 2022-04-30 1542 ET: [X] 1:25 before food, indoors, easy-medium It's almost easy, and I upped by five seconds ! Thinking on trying to move back to doing this in the morning without food, quite unsure of this. Maybe the food is still important, unsure. 2022-04-30 1831 ET: [X] 1:25 before food, indoors, easy-medium 2022-05-01 0814 ET: [X] 1:25, indoors, easy-medium I figure I'll have a breakfast afterward and that will be my food. The shock at the start is finally getting easier again. I think I can up the time easily but I want to see if I can get back to once a day without food. 2022-05-01 1104 ET: [X] 1:25 + 30, indoors with food, easy-medium It felt fun at some points again! Also I accidentally went 30 seconds over. I went outdoors and read the preface of the book. It turns out the technique can help with autoimmune and possibly mental health issues. So I'm trying to be a little more careful as thinking this could possibly stimulate my inhibitions around it much more. When I went outdoors, I had heard it was 60+ degrees F. It felt like 60+. Turns out it was supposed to be in the 40s, 60 was later in the day. I didn't mind, I was in a t shirt! I kind of think there was a warmer area here, but it could also be this practice making 40 feel like 60 to me. 2022-05-01 1532 ET: [X] 1:30, no immediate food, indoors, medium I left the water because I felt cold. I barely noticed I was doing this. I got back under. Big icecream headache at the end. I took a long warm shower prior. Thinking of spending at least 5 days at 1:30, like the original protocol recommended. Thinking of having a meal now, after. 2022-05-01 1854 ET: [X] 1:30 with food, indoors, medium It's funny that 1:30 is seeming so much colder than 1:25 when I did 1:25+30 pretty easily, but this time I think it's probably because I'm getting used to the sudden cold at the start, so I'm taking a shorter warm shower prior. There's value around doing it slowly. A lot of variables can change, to learn to adapt to. That is, assuming you have a psychotic dissociative willpower disorder. 2022-05-02 0834 ET: [X] 1:30 cold water with food and cookie, indoors, medium-easy I imagined that cold showers were harmful to the economy, and worried it could get harder to continue, imagining this, I made it easier. I made warm food, and had a cookie with the cold water. It's much easier at the start, when the water initially turns cold, and is getting harder toward the end, where it used to be easy last week, around a minute in. I accidentally went to leave the cold water again due to the cold, and had to use my coping strategies to stay. Each part of you has different degrees of cold, depending on how you expose it. I like focusing on my face, I think I sometimes feel discomfort in my face during the winter and it would be nice to improve. 2022-05-03 1249 ET: [X+2] 1:30 cold water, indoors, with food difficulty: medium-easy I didn't update for a few. It's getting easier as I persist. I often feel warmer in the icy water, than in the cool air before and after, strangely. I might be shivering a little, and stop shivering during the shower. Somewhat strange. Maybe partly psychological. 2022-05-03 1653 ET: [X] 1:30 cold water with food, indoors, medium-easy I've generally been chilly throughout the day, and experience psychological pressure associated with that sensation. It's interesting to do the showers during this. I might spend a little time in the warm water, thinking it is to help me warm up, and then shift my thinking and turn it cold, and have this chilly water, much colder than the air, feel much easier to be covered in due to the familiarity of the experience. Still looking forward to having more strength to engage sensations of cold outside of the cold shower. Often I imagine making time to read the book more, but maybe I could find my own ways, too, unsure. Still gotta look up what that "horse stance" is, and resme the breathing attempts. 2022-05-04 0824 ET: [X] 1:30 cold water with food and cookie, indoors difficulty: easy it's still hard to start but no icecream headache this time or anything :) it is notable that the air is much warmer. i'm not entering it cold this morning or anything, like I was earlier. 2022-05-04 1106 ET: [X] 1:35 with food and cookie, indoors, difficulty:medium I did almost no warm water as I was in a rush. big icecream headache ! somewhat invigorating again !! 2022-05-05 0815 ET: [X] 1:35 with food and sugar scone, indoors, difficulty: easy I visited some doctors yesterday a side effect of which was my psychology underwent a change, as it can. Things were working differently and I did not eat supper yesterday. This morning the water didn't even feel cold. It was a little hard at the start, the suddenness, but I didn't spend time in warm water first, and then I didn't feel cold under the cold water. I was honestly wondering if the cold water was still cold at all -- maybe the warmer weather had warmed the water supply -- but it was morning, so that didn't seem that likely. It rained for a couple days the past two days, could relate to water supply. Anyway it seems it makes sense to try to get back onto the week schedule for this somehow, even if I still have the food crutch now. 2022-05-05 I missed at least one 1:35 cold water here. Judging by the log looked like I missed 2-3, strange. 2022-05-06 0917 ET: [X] 1:40+2:00 cold water, indoors, before food I've gotten a rash and took time in the cold water to bathe. I'm thinking that wim hof recommends 1-2 minutes _per day_ in this phase, and showering too much could cause other issues. I'm going to try to drop the showers to 1/day, before I eat anything for the day. 2022-05-06 1800 ET: [X] 1:40 cold water It's actually gotten quite hard not to do these. I was thinking of what the book said about vascular tissue, and how it implied it is the change between warm and cold that is important, but also how it said you can also go down to 50 deg F to get that change. Dunno. I took more of a warm shower and warmed parts of me up before making them cold, thinking of this. This also made it psychologically easier. I think it is more than just a thin layer of vessels on the skin. There are a lot of layers of temperature within me. 2022-05-07 0713 ET: [X] 1:40 cold water Note: +5 seconds every 2-3 times is unreasonably slow with the goal of once a day. Maybe raise to 15 seconds or such, 10-20. 2022-05-08 0707 ET: [x] 1:40 cold water with food after Bumping to 1:45 . There's only 20 seconds let to the goal of 2:00, so. 2022-05-07 or 08 : I think I did this a second time, and failed to note it. Not sure. 2022-08-09: 1104 ET: [X] 1:45, easy but with trepidation and shock 2022-08-10: 0910 ET: [X] 1:45, easy Upping to 150. It's great this is finally getting easy again. Time increases have been having a smaller impact after 1:35 or so. 2022-05-11: 1935 ET: [X] 1:50, medium-easy, very warm day, food after I didn't eat (or almost move) for most of the whole day. Finally I am doing this before eating :) Upped the time to 1:55. Excited to do a week of 2:00 to move on to whatever's next. 2022-05-12: 0659 ET: [X] 1:50, easy, warm day, with food. I ended up finding/using a way to charge my phone up some again to add this to this draft. Erred and did 1:50 instead of 1:55. 1:55 next time. There's a lot of worry around experiencing difficulty doing this kind of before I start. I think resumite sugar cookie could help with that. I'm out of them. Regarding the warm days, I guess I'll have to deal with that come autumn. 2022-05-12: 1111 ET: [X] 1:50 again. hard. warm day, water very cold. It was so cold. I kind of stood there and focused on relaxing, and I think I could have gone longer but it didn't feel nice this time for sure, although on rethinking I can change that perception. I wonder if later in the day, after more water has run, the water can get colder.
On Thu, May 12, 2022, 11:13 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Fri, Apr 29, 2022, 4:36 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
2022-03-21 thru 2022-03-27: [X] Week 1 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol, 30 seconds cold water daily. Performed indoors.
2022-03-28 thru 2022-04-12: [ ] it simply got harder and harder to shower at all as I stretched the cold water time toward 1:30 in week 2 and discovered my water could be made colder than I had had it before
2022-04-14 thru 2022-04-15: [X] Custom protocol reacclimation, ramped up in five second intervals from 5 seconds to 30 seconds, every time I ate
2022-04-16 thru 2022-04-22: [X] Ramped up from 35 seconds through 60 seconds, in 5 second intervals, every time I ate
2022-04-22 1930 ET: [X] 65 seconds
2022-04-23 1130 ET: [X] 1:05
Still harder than last month. But I'm feeling confident with my consistency.
My funny experiences stepped in around when 60-65 seconds hit. I fumbled the timer and did it a few seconds longer than planned, and they came in and it felt really cold suddenly.
2022-04-23 1714 ET: [X] 1:05 cold water, indoors, no food, no cookie difficulty: easy-medium
I thought I'd stop eating immediately with showering to get myself to do it, if it seemed reasonable, since the instructions said not to do the breathing it seemed there was likely value around not needing the food.
In retrospect it was a bad time to stop a reinforcement because the first 4-5 timing devices I tried for measuring the time had mysteriously stopped functioning in some way or another. So I'm on the raspberry pi now instead of a phone, for editing this email.
The shower wasn't too hard, but the difficulty timing it is worrisome. Gotta keep it smooth and continuing. I was happy going some seconds over the time.
2022-04-24 0907 ET: [X] 1:05 cold water, food after completion, indoors Difficulty: easy-medium
Refraining from eating until afterward.
It takes a little conscious effort to adapt to the cold water when it turns cold, which is interesting.
Weather is warming and air is getting warmer. Thinking of keeping ice near the shower to cool the air a little.
Upping time to 1:10 .
2022-04-24 1416 ET: [X] 1:10 cold water, food after, indoors Difficulty: medium
2022-04-24 1809 ET: [X] 1:10 cold water, food after, indoors Difficulty: medium
I was anxious and stayed in the warm water first for some time. Then turned it cold and used that nascent willpower to handle the chill.
The ability to direct my attitude around the temperature has been developing slowly and shakily. I've had a big problem with willpower; engaging it can cause psychotic issues. But here it's been gently growing in part of me, feeling different from the big issues. Very rare and hopeful.
I got cold in the water and got goosebumps this time. The alarm went off and I tried to consciously engage the attitude thing again, and with huge relief succeeded this once on more of my own schedule. I stayed a few seconds past.
I've been struggling in other diverse ways, but I was wondering if the chilliness was from adapting to warmer air as the weather warms. Not certain, as the water still feels warm compared to when it seemed colder than my earlier hot showers.
2022-04-25 1623 ET: [X] 1:10 cold water, food after, indoors Difficulty: medium-easy
I was thinking how warm it was and did this. I didn't use much warm water prior, which I consider for a reason it felt colder than usual.
2022-04-26 0710 ET: [X] 1:10 cold water, food after, indoors Difficulty: medium-easy
The biggest issue was starting, which is still worrisome.
I took a longer warm shower prior because I wanted to bathe.
I stayed under some seconds after and got the icecream headache.
It seems past time to up the length, but it's been a big struggle initiating it. Not certain. The cold water inhibition wants my food urge to separate from it, it's easier to eat prior than after. I was thinking of tracking when and how much I eat, to take migrating off it slowly and purposefully like the water. Unsure.
2022-04-26 1444 ET: [X] 1:10 cold water with food Difficulty: medium
I had a very little food before, which helped immensely in starting. I then skipped the warm water mostly, and the cold water was very cold! Icecream headache quickly, goosebumps.
I'm still thinking of just upping it to 1:15.
-> entries from the 26th through the 28th lost due to editing gmail draft on multiple systems with intermittent connectivity. on the 27th I had only one meal. during most of the period I was struggling and confused. <-
2022-04-28 1119 ET: [X] 1:15 cold water with food after, indoors Difficulty: medium-easy
I'm exploring developing a little willpower with regard to resisting the cold. This time I decided to try less hard and just get used to it, which seemed to work ok as well.
2022-04-28 1644 ET: [X] 1:15 cold water with food after, indoors Difficulty: medium-easy
Still pretty cold, but easier to do. Upping to 1:20.
2022-04-29 0936 ET: [X] 1:20 cold water prior to food, indoors Difficulty: medium-easy
I almost forgot to log this one. It was still very cold to start, but 1:20 seemed like a very short time.
2022-04-29 1117 ET: [X] 1:20 cold water prior to food, indoors Difficult: medium
It got a little hard to log.
I added some orange slices to my food which seems to help. Warming the food helps too.
I was thinking of how close I am to being back to 1:30! Take it gently, be confident.
2022-04-30 0628 ET: [X] 1:20 cold water before food, indoors, easy-medium
I had a rough day yesterday and for the first time this round ate without showering. It is quite inspiring to do this again.
2022-04-30 1542 ET: [X] 1:25 before food, indoors, easy-medium
It's almost easy, and I upped by five seconds !
Thinking on trying to move back to doing this in the morning without food, quite unsure of this. Maybe the food is still important, unsure.
2022-04-30 1831 ET: [X] 1:25 before food, indoors, easy-medium
2022-05-01 0814 ET: [X] 1:25, indoors, easy-medium
I figure I'll have a breakfast afterward and that will be my food.
The shock at the start is finally getting easier again.
I think I can up the time easily but I want to see if I can get back to once a day without food.
2022-05-01 1104 ET: [X] 1:25 + 30, indoors with food, easy-medium
It felt fun at some points again! Also I accidentally went 30 seconds over.
I went outdoors and read the preface of the book. It turns out the technique can help with autoimmune and possibly mental health issues. So I'm trying to be a little more careful as thinking this could possibly stimulate my inhibitions around it much more.
When I went outdoors, I had heard it was 60+ degrees F. It felt like 60+. Turns out it was supposed to be in the 40s, 60 was later in the day. I didn't mind, I was in a t shirt! I kind of think there was a warmer area here, but it could also be this practice making 40 feel like 60 to me.
2022-05-01 1532 ET: [X] 1:30, no immediate food, indoors, medium
I left the water because I felt cold. I barely noticed I was doing this. I got back under. Big icecream headache at the end.
I took a long warm shower prior.
Thinking of spending at least 5 days at 1:30, like the original protocol recommended.
Thinking of having a meal now, after.
2022-05-01 1854 ET: [X] 1:30 with food, indoors, medium
It's funny that 1:30 is seeming so much colder than 1:25 when I did 1:25+30 pretty easily, but this time I think it's probably because I'm getting used to the sudden cold at the start, so I'm taking a shorter warm shower prior.
There's value around doing it slowly. A lot of variables can change, to learn to adapt to. That is, assuming you have a psychotic dissociative willpower disorder.
2022-05-02 0834 ET: [X] 1:30 cold water with food and cookie, indoors, medium-easy
I imagined that cold showers were harmful to the economy, and worried it could get harder to continue, imagining this, I made it easier. I made warm food, and had a cookie with the cold water.
It's much easier at the start, when the water initially turns cold, and is getting harder toward the end, where it used to be easy last week, around a minute in.
I accidentally went to leave the cold water again due to the cold, and had to use my coping strategies to stay.
Each part of you has different degrees of cold, depending on how you expose it. I like focusing on my face, I think I sometimes feel discomfort in my face during the winter and it would be nice to improve.
2022-05-03 1249 ET: [X+2] 1:30 cold water, indoors, with food difficulty: medium-easy
I didn't update for a few.
It's getting easier as I persist.
I often feel warmer in the icy water, than in the cool air before and after, strangely. I might be shivering a little, and stop shivering during the shower. Somewhat strange. Maybe partly psychological.
2022-05-03 1653 ET: [X] 1:30 cold water with food, indoors, medium-easy
I've generally been chilly throughout the day, and experience psychological pressure associated with that sensation. It's interesting to do the showers during this. I might spend a little time in the warm water, thinking it is to help me warm up, and then shift my thinking and turn it cold, and have this chilly water, much colder than the air, feel much easier to be covered in due to the familiarity of the experience.
Still looking forward to having more strength to engage sensations of cold outside of the cold shower. Often I imagine making time to read the book more, but maybe I could find my own ways, too, unsure.
Still gotta look up what that "horse stance" is, and resme the breathing attempts.
2022-05-04 0824 ET: [X] 1:30 cold water with food and cookie, indoors difficulty: easy
it's still hard to start but no icecream headache this time or anything :)
it is notable that the air is much warmer. i'm not entering it cold this morning or anything, like I was earlier.
2022-05-04 1106 ET: [X] 1:35 with food and cookie, indoors, difficulty:medium
I did almost no warm water as I was in a rush. big icecream headache ! somewhat invigorating again !!
2022-05-05 0815 ET: [X] 1:35 with food and sugar scone, indoors, difficulty: easy
I visited some doctors yesterday a side effect of which was my psychology underwent a change, as it can. Things were working differently and I did not eat supper yesterday.
This morning the water didn't even feel cold. It was a little hard at the start, the suddenness, but I didn't spend time in warm water first, and then I didn't feel cold under the cold water. I was honestly wondering if the cold water was still cold at all -- maybe the warmer weather had warmed the water supply -- but it was morning, so that didn't seem that likely.
It rained for a couple days the past two days, could relate to water supply.
Anyway it seems it makes sense to try to get back onto the week schedule for this somehow, even if I still have the food crutch now.
2022-05-05 I missed at least one 1:35 cold water here. Judging by the log looked like I missed 2-3, strange.
2022-05-06 0917 ET: [X] 1:40+2:00 cold water, indoors, before food
I've gotten a rash and took time in the cold water to bathe.
I'm thinking that wim hof recommends 1-2 minutes _per day_ in this phase, and showering too much could cause other issues.
I'm going to try to drop the showers to 1/day, before I eat anything for the day.
2022-05-06 1800 ET: [X] 1:40 cold water
It's actually gotten quite hard not to do these.
I was thinking of what the book said about vascular tissue, and how it implied it is the change between warm and cold that is important, but also how it said you can also go down to 50 deg F to get that change.
Dunno. I took more of a warm shower and warmed parts of me up before making them cold, thinking of this. This also made it psychologically easier. I think it is more than just a thin layer of vessels on the skin. There are a lot of layers of temperature within me.
2022-05-07 0713 ET: [X] 1:40 cold water
Note: +5 seconds every 2-3 times is unreasonably slow with the goal of once a day. Maybe raise to 15 seconds or such, 10-20.
2022-05-08 0707 ET: [x] 1:40 cold water with food after
Bumping to 1:45 . There's only 20 seconds let to the goal of 2:00, so.
2022-05-07 or 08 : I think I did this a second time, and failed to note it. Not sure.
2022-08-09: 1104 ET: [X] 1:45, easy but with trepidation and shock
2022-08-10: 0910 ET: [X] 1:45, easy
Upping to 150. It's great this is finally getting easy again. Time increases have been having a smaller impact after 1:35 or so.
2022-05-11: 1935 ET: [X] 1:50, medium-easy, very warm day, food after
I didn't eat (or almost move) for most of the whole day. Finally I am doing this before eating :)
Upped the time to 1:55. Excited to do a week of 2:00 to move on to whatever's next.
2022-05-12: 0659 ET: [X] 1:50, easy, warm day, with food.
I ended up finding/using a way to charge my phone up some again to add this to this draft.
Erred and did 1:50 instead of 1:55. 1:55 next time.
There's a lot of worry around experiencing difficulty doing this kind of before I start. I think resumite sugar cookie could help with that. I'm out of them.
Regarding the warm days, I guess I'll have to deal with that come autumn.
2022-05-12: 1111 ET: [X] 1:50 again. hard. warm day, water very cold.
It was so cold. I kind of stood there and focused on relaxing, and I think I could have gone longer but it didn't feel nice this time for sure, although on rethinking I can change that perception.
I wonder if later in the day, after more water has run, the water can get colder.
2022-05-13 0707 ET: [X] 1:55, not very cold, with chocolate and food, warm day. easy. The water wasn't that cold again, so I stayed in an extra minute and left it running a trickle. When I started, it was a difficult space in my mind, at the edge of an inhibition, but with some power from the recent energy around upsetness. I'm lucky I made it. Something to try to repeat with more stability. 2022-05-14 1208 ET: [X] 1:55 colder water, food after. Running the water a trickle seemed to help the temperature. See if I can do a week of 2:00 . 2022-05-15 1349 ET: [X] 2:00 cold water, medium-hard 2022-05-16 1254 ET: [X] 2:00 water, medium-easy, food after The water didn't really feel cold. I'm a little worried about the warm weather. But it did feel somewhat cold. I let another faucet drip to try to cool it. 2022-05-18 0625 ET: [X] 2:00 cold water, medium. with food I was shivering _before_ I got in, so ran the water warm for a bit. 2022-05-19 1030 ET: [X] shower 4 day 5, 2:00 cold water, medium. with food. 2022-05-20 0840 ET: [X] shower 5 day 6, 2:00, easy, w/ food 2022-05-20 1459 ET: [X] shower 6 day 6, 2:00, medium-hard, w/ food water was much colder. I showered twice because of amnesia and confusion, I didn't realise. 2022-05-21 0957 ET: [X] shower 7 day 7, 2:00, medium-easy, food after i've been focusing on my face, since that's the most exposed part in the winter, but my face got easier and I noticed my arms and hands got cold and focused on them. my family has reynauld's syndrome (where your extremities get colder), so it's pleasant to think of strengthening them, which I have in the past. this is day 7 of 2:00 so I totally did it ! gotta find something new in that book.
On Sat, May 21, 2022, 9:59 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Thu, May 12, 2022, 11:13 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Fri, Apr 29, 2022, 4:36 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
2022-03-21 thru 2022-03-27: [X] Week 1 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol, 30 seconds cold water daily. Performed indoors.
2022-03-28 thru 2022-04-12: [ ] it simply got harder and harder to shower at all as I stretched the cold water time toward 1:30 in week 2 and discovered my water could be made colder than I had had it before
2022-04-14 thru 2022-04-15: [X] Custom protocol reacclimation, ramped up in five second intervals from 5 seconds to 30 seconds, every time I ate
2022-04-16 thru 2022-04-22: [X] Ramped up from 35 seconds through 60 seconds, in 5 second intervals, every time I ate
2022-04-22 1930 ET: [X] 65 seconds
...
2022-05-14 1208 ET: [X] 1:55 colder water, food after.
Running the water a trickle seemed to help the temperature. See if I can do a week of 2:00 .
2022-05-15 1349 ET: [X] 2:00 cold water, medium-hard
2022-05-16 1254 ET: [X] 2:00 water, medium-easy, food after
The water didn't really feel cold. I'm a little worried about the warm weather. But it did feel somewhat cold. I let another faucet drip to try to cool it.
2022-05-18 0625 ET: [X] 2:00 cold water, medium. with food
I was shivering _before_ I got in, so ran the water warm for a bit.
2022-05-19 1030 ET: [X] shower 4 day 5, 2:00 cold water, medium. with food.
2022-05-20 0840 ET: [X] shower 5 day 6, 2:00, easy, w/ food
2022-05-20 1459 ET: [X] shower 6 day 6, 2:00, medium-hard, w/ food
water was much colder. I showered twice because of amnesia and confusion, I didn't realise.
2022-05-21 0957 ET: [X] shower 7 day 7, 2:00, medium-easy, food after
i've been focusing on my face, since that's the most exposed part in the winter, but my face got easier and I noticed my arms and hands got cold and focused on them. my family has reynauld's syndrome (where your extremities get colder), so it's pleasant to think of strengthening them, which I have in the past.
this is day 7 of 2:00 so I totally did it ! gotta find something new in that book.
2022-05-21 1739 ET: 2:00 cold water, food expected after 2022-05-22 0441 ET: 2:05 cold water, food after, medium I haven't found what to do next yet, but it seems just basic stretching of one's regions of comfort. I stopped doing the warm water prior and added five seconds again. 2022-05-24 0750 ET: 2:05, without food, no warm water before, water not cooled prior, easy-medium It's harder to go full in at the start. I remembered going into cold water when young, and "took the plunge" here. This seemed to help a lot. I've had another task going, so didn't add five seconds because they are associated, and I didn't want to stress it. Feeling more confident. Put my head and arms in the water, arms and hands didn't get nearly as cold like they have been earlier. I briefly skimmed more of the book and didn't immediately see more clear protocols to push things further, but I did see enough of other practices listed to get some idea. He also mentioned you can go further with other resources he has. I'm still working the cold shower, but other ideas include: - ice water - looking for more books, or checking his online courses 2022-05-24 1910 ET: [X] 2:05 cold water, medium-easy 2022-05-25 0520 ET: [X] 2:05 with food, medium-easy, cooled water a little 2022-05-26 1106 ET: [X] 2:10 food some time after, medium-easy, water not cooled The water felt cold although it wasn't cooled. I focused on my hands and face. Often I hang at a time because it was really hard to increase when the time was short. I suspect I can keep increasing it here, since it gets a smaller and smaller proportion. [a number of days were not recorded; some quite easy] 2022-05-29 0707 ET: [X] 2:20 with food, medium-easy, water very cold This morning was a new state of mind for me, associated with some work I've been doing. 2022-06: [ ]a number of these didn't get notated. i suddenly and mostly stopped both doing them and eating food (!) after great success. i have an ongoing, multi-day experience similar to a psychotic break, where it feels like my inhibitions are continuously active and it is hard to direct my body or thoughts. events that preceded the stopping: - water temperature got much colder - stopped publicly noting my showers - engaged a strong inhibition that i hadn't previously experienced during the effort, associated with personal resistance work online (new arweave code) - shower time was greater than 2 minutes - experienced a connection issue with a local group; for some reason their emails are never delivered to me any more, and kept learning of this as i was visiting them to volunteer. was a racial justice farm. - expanded the shower approach to also encompass a todo list. "todo list" is a very strongly inhibited concept for me and often causes these big psychotic inhibitions. i was at 53 seconds on my todo list attempts; these are logged in https://github.com/fuzzyTew/todo/blob/master/logistics/todo.log and https://github.com/xloem/todo/blob/master/logistics/todo.log
I have found wim hof's 2016 book. it has a cold protocol that extends past 2 minutes of shower (does longer showers). i can try switching to that book. i have a thermometer in the mail to handle the temperature at a more slow pace. my plan is to restart from a short number of seconds, and keep posting here even if i feel like a jerk doing so. this is the book i have now: https://libgen.li/edition.php?id=137402024 the shower protocol is faster in this one. i might slow it down or something, we'll see.
pre-whm after my last inhibition burst, it's hard to even think of taking a cold shower (or anything else, really). my muscles clench, things stop. i'm spending my time planning taking a _warm_ or _hot_ shower. something commonly considered relaxing and comfortable. and then a cold shower for just 1-15 seconds! maybe 1-10! _maybe only 1 second_. 1 second is not hard. and i could eat food :)
pre-whm, post-inhibition-burst spending some time thinking of it, to build up to doing it. 2022-06-09 04:40: - spent some time planning to do this. just a few seconds. 2022-06-09 04:41: trying really hard, i'm just going to go do it.
On 6/9/22, Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
pre-whm, post-inhibition-burst
spending some time thinking of it, to build up to doing it.
2022-06-09 04:40: - spent some time planning to do this. just a few seconds.
2022-06-09 04:41: trying really hard, i'm just going to go do it.
restart ! 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water after warm water I felt cold under the warm water. Still, 10 seconds was not long. I'd like to log how long i spend under warm water, as stopping doing that also preceded the problem I had continuing. Not sure how yet, have just one alarm.
2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to the list again. i started by just logging time spent on planning and thinking about it. after two attempts i was able to do it rather than think about it, with effort. 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water after warm water, hard 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10 seconds cold. easy. food after. I was struggling to do anything, and I ended up getting into working on adding a community feature to the core arweave client i had started. when i code, i develop bursts of urges to suddenly stop and do something else. it was one of these that built up the interest in eating and doing the cold water. it feels easy to do the todo list again too !
On Fri, Jun 10, 2022, 12:25 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to the list again. i started by just logging time spent on planning and thinking about it. after two attempts i was able to do it rather than think about it, with effort.
2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water after warm water, hard
2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10 seconds cold. easy. food after.
2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food It's funny how 10 seconds can suddenly seem a long time. I need a real shower so I'm taking a warm one after.
On Sat, Jun 11, 2022, 5:54 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Fri, Jun 10, 2022, 12:25 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to the list again. i started by just logging time spent on planning and thinking about it. after two attempts i was able to do it rather than think about it, with effort.
2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water after warm water, hard
2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10 seconds cold. easy. food after.
2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food
2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy
On Sat, Jun 11, 2022, 12:47 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Sat, Jun 11, 2022, 5:54 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Fri, Jun 10, 2022, 12:25 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to the list again. i started by just logging time spent on planning and thinking about it. after two attempts i was able to do it rather than think about it, with effort.
2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water after warm water, hard
2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10 seconds cold. easy. food after.
2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food
2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy
2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after medium-easy I used a different timer that took more charge of the intervals, placing them precisely back to back. This was frightening to me, as unexpected changes have stimulated difficulty before, but it ended up being easier because not having space to wait for water temperature to adjust meant the warm period actually lasted longer and the overall thing shorter, than yesterday.
On Sun, Jun 12, 2022, 2:19 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Sat, Jun 11, 2022, 12:47 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Sat, Jun 11, 2022, 5:54 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Fri, Jun 10, 2022, 12:25 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to the list again. i started by just logging time spent on planning and thinking about it. after two attempts i was able to do it rather than think about it, with effort.
2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water after warm water, hard
2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10 seconds cold. easy. food after.
2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food
2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy
2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after medium-easy
2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-easy
On Sun, Jun 12, 2022, 8:49 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Sun, Jun 12, 2022, 2:19 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Sat, Jun 11, 2022, 12:47 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Sat, Jun 11, 2022, 5:54 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Fri, Jun 10, 2022, 12:25 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to the list again. i started by just logging time spent on planning and thinking about it. after two attempts i was able to do it rather than think about it, with effort.
2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water after warm water, hard
2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10 seconds cold. easy. food after.
2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food
2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy
2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after medium-easy
2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-easy
2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food after medium-easy
The water felt nice, but it was hard to do. Thinking a little of how my executive functioning and such bits seem more important in many ways than what it is actually like.
On Sun, Jun 12, 2022, 6:53 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Sun, Jun 12, 2022, 8:49 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Sun, Jun 12, 2022, 2:19 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Sat, Jun 11, 2022, 12:47 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Sat, Jun 11, 2022, 5:54 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Fri, Jun 10, 2022, 12:25 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to the list again. i started by just logging time spent on planning and thinking about it. after two attempts i was able to do it rather than think about it, with effort.
2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water after warm water, hard
2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10 seconds cold. easy. food after.
2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food
2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy
2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after medium-easy
2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-easy
2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food after medium-easy
2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-hard
On Mon, Jun 13, 2022, 9:23 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Sun, Jun 12, 2022, 6:53 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Sun, Jun 12, 2022, 8:49 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Sun, Jun 12, 2022, 2:19 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Sat, Jun 11, 2022, 12:47 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Sat, Jun 11, 2022, 5:54 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Fri, Jun 10, 2022, 12:25 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
> 2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to the list again. i started > by just logging time spent on planning and thinking about it. after > two attempts i was able to do it rather than think about it, with > effort. > > 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water after warm water, hard > > 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10 seconds cold. easy. food > after. >
2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food
2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy
2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after medium-easy
2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-easy
2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food after medium-easy
2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-hard
2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after medium-hard I'm going through a rough spot in general.
On Mon, Jun 13, 2022, 6:52 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Mon, Jun 13, 2022, 9:23 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Sun, Jun 12, 2022, 6:53 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Sun, Jun 12, 2022, 8:49 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Sun, Jun 12, 2022, 2:19 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Sat, Jun 11, 2022, 12:47 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Sat, Jun 11, 2022, 5:54 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
> > > On Fri, Jun 10, 2022, 12:25 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One > Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: > >> 2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to the list again. i started >> by just logging time spent on planning and thinking about it. after >> two attempts i was able to do it rather than think about it, with >> effort. >> >> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water after warm water, hard >> >> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10 seconds cold. easy. >> food after. >> > > 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food >
2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy
2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after medium-easy
2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-easy
2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food after medium-easy
2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-hard
2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after medium-hard
2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food I ate some food by accident and was like "what did I just do??" so did the cold water. I was feeling good to do it. My new phone I'm sending this from stopped making alarm noise, despite the volume being up, which resulted in me spending more warm water time than expected. I then counted the cold seconds manually in my head, so likely they are a different real duration. I'm thinking it makes sense to count in my head and then check a clock visually, to not have to worry about phone volume, eventually.
>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to the list again. i >>> started >>> by just logging time spent on planning and thinking about it. >>> after >>> two attempts i was able to do it rather than think about it, with >>> effort. >>> >>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water after warm water, >>> hard >>> >>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10 seconds cold. easy. >>> food after. >>> >> >> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food >> > > 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy > 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after medium-easy
2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-easy
2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food after medium-easy
2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-hard
2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after medium-hard
2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food
2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food after, medium-easy i counted to 8 under warm water, and this took about 20 seconds. i counted to 13 under cold water, and this took about 31 seconds. i was wearing an eeg headband (not turned on, just wearing :D), and forgot to take it off or protect it from the water, which is somewhat sad. might be ok though. there's some delay between water and food today, i started making it and it's still cooking. i'll likely have a snack. earlier i set up a place outside to do this. i have not tried it yet. regarding timespan, it seems to matter more what i think than what is real, at this stage, unsure. [learning how many seconds a count is]
------- Original Message ------- On Wednesday, June 15th, 2022 at 12:22 AM, Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
... regarding timespan, it seems to matter more what i think than what is real, at this stage, unsure. [learning how many seconds a count is]
one thing i find most fascinating about quantum mind theory is that perception can persist outside the body, after death [for how long; undetermined?] this correlates with typical time distortion effects from mental activity. and of course, you can apply chemical augmentation for significant time distortion perception... in short: time is what you think it is :P everything else is relative. glad you're enjoying nature! take care, [will sign later...]
On Tue, Jun 14, 2022, 8:22 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to the list again. i >>>> started >>>> by just logging time spent on planning and thinking about it. >>>> after >>>> two attempts i was able to do it rather than think about it, with >>>> effort. >>>> >>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water after warm water, >>>> hard >>>> >>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10 seconds cold. easy. >>>> food after. >>>> >>> >>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food >>> >> >> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy >> > 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after medium-easy > 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-easy
> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food after medium-easy
2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-hard
2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after medium-hard
2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food
2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food after, medium-easy
2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, medium-easy, outdoors
failed to collect seconds, counted 8 then 13 under hose. Changing environment reduced inhibition.
On Wed, Jun 15, 2022, 8:25 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Tue, Jun 14, 2022, 8:22 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to the list again. i >>>>> started >>>>> by just logging time spent on planning and thinking about it. >>>>> after >>>>> two attempts i was able to do it rather than think about it, with >>>>> effort. >>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water after warm water, >>>>> hard >>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10 seconds cold. easy. >>>>> food after. >>>>> >>>> >>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food >>>> >>> >>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy >>> >> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after medium-easy >> > 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-easy > >> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food after medium-easy
2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-hard
2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after medium-hard
2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food
2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food after, medium-easy
2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, medium-easy, outdoors
2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, irrational state of mind, indoors
outdoors I seemed more relaxed, but was less familiar with the routine making it harder. the relaxedness extended how long counting lasted i think.
On Wed, Jun 15, 2022, 2:37 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Wed, Jun 15, 2022, 8:25 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Tue, Jun 14, 2022, 8:22 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to the list again. i >>>>>> started >>>>>> by just logging time spent on planning and thinking about it. >>>>>> after >>>>>> two attempts i was able to do it rather than think about it, with >>>>>> effort. >>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water after warm water, >>>>>> hard >>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10 seconds cold. easy. >>>>>> food after. >>>>>> >>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food >>>>> >>>> >>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy >>>> >>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after medium-easy >>> >> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-easy >> >>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food after medium-easy > 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-hard
2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after medium-hard
2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food
2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food after, medium-easy
2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, medium-easy, outdoors
2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, irrational state of mind, indoors
2022-06-15 2028 [x] 21/1:45 cold water, food after, medium, indoors I meant to count to 8 and 13 more relaxedly but ended up counting to 21 straight by accident. I basically worry I could have triggered an inhibition becoming aware how long this is. But it wasn't hard aside from that.
On Wed, Jun 15, 2022, 2:37 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Wed, Jun 15, 2022, 8:25 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Tue, Jun 14, 2022, 8:22 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to the list again. i >>>>>> started >>>>>> by just logging time spent on planning and thinking about it. >>>>>> after >>>>>> two attempts i was able to do it rather than think about it, with >>>>>> effort. >>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water after warm water, >>>>>> hard >>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10 seconds cold. easy. >>>>>> food after. >>>>>> >>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food >>>>> >>>> >>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy >>>> >>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after medium-easy >>> >> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-easy >> >>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food after medium-easy > 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-hard
2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after medium-hard
2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food
2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food after, medium-easy
2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, medium-easy, outdoors
2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, irrational state of mind, indoors
2022-06-16 1502 69F 20/1:25cold 68F food after, easy, indoors I got a thermometer. This is not very cold water. I'm measuring in farenheit rather than centigrade as the units have a smaller range. I missed a count and counted to 20 over 1:25.
On Thu, Jun 16, 2022, 3:07 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Wed, Jun 15, 2022, 2:37 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Wed, Jun 15, 2022, 8:25 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Tue, Jun 14, 2022, 8:22 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to the list again. i >>>>>>> started >>>>>>> by just logging time spent on planning and thinking about it. >>>>>>> after >>>>>>> two attempts i was able to do it rather than think about it, with >>>>>>> effort. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water after warm water, >>>>>>> hard >>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10 seconds cold. easy. >>>>>>> food after. >>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food >>>>>> >>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy >>>>> >>>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after medium-easy >>>> >>> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-easy >>> >>>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food after medium-easy >> > 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-hard > 2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after medium-hard
2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food
2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food after, medium-easy
2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, medium-easy, outdoors
2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, irrational state of mind,
indoors
2022-06-16 1502 69F 20/1:25cold 68F food after, easy, indoors
2022-06-17 1051 21/1:04cold 67.4F food after, medium-easy, indoors
On Fri, Jun 17, 2022, 10:51 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Thu, Jun 16, 2022, 3:07 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Wed, Jun 15, 2022, 2:37 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Wed, Jun 15, 2022, 8:25 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Tue, Jun 14, 2022, 8:22 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to the list again. i >>>>>>>> started >>>>>>>> by just logging time spent on planning and thinking about it. >>>>>>>> after >>>>>>>> two attempts i was able to do it rather than think about it, with >>>>>>>> effort. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water after warm water, >>>>>>>> hard >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10 seconds cold. easy. >>>>>>>> food after. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food >>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy >>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after medium-easy >>>>> >>>> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-easy >>>> >>>>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food after medium-easy >>> >> 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-hard >> > 2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after medium-hard > 2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food
2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food after, medium-easy
2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, medium-easy, outdoors
2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, irrational state of mind,
indoors
2022-06-16 1502 69F 20/1:25cold 68F food after, easy, indoors
2022-06-17 1051 21/1:04cold 67.4F food after, medium-easy, indoors
2022-06-17 1929 unk warm, 22/1:20 cold, 58.8F, food after, medium, indoors I let the water run again a little and the temperature dropped !
On Fri, Jun 17, 2022, 7:30 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Fri, Jun 17, 2022, 10:51 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Thu, Jun 16, 2022, 3:07 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Wed, Jun 15, 2022, 2:37 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Wed, Jun 15, 2022, 8:25 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Tue, Jun 14, 2022, 8:22 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to the list again. i >>>>>>>>> started >>>>>>>>> by just logging time spent on planning and thinking about it. >>>>>>>>> after >>>>>>>>> two attempts i was able to do it rather than think about it, with >>>>>>>>> effort. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water after warm water, >>>>>>>>> hard >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10 seconds cold. easy. >>>>>>>>> food after. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy >>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after medium-easy >>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-easy >>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food after medium-easy >>>> >>> 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-hard >>> >> 2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after medium-hard >> > 2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food
2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food after, medium-easy
2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, medium-easy, outdoors
2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, irrational state of mind,
indoors
2022-06-16 1502 69F 20/1:25cold 68F food after, easy, indoors
2022-06-17 1051 21/1:04cold 67.4F food after, medium-easy, indoors
2022-06-17 1929 unk warm, 22/1:20 cold, 58.8F, food after, medium, indoors
2022-06-18 0921 53.7F 22/1:12 cold with food medium-hard colder day today, not yet measuring air temperature. I ran the water more to reduce it's temperature more. I kinda sputtered a lot after, coughed a lot. Keeping water the same for next time.
On Sat, Jun 18, 2022, 9:29 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Fri, Jun 17, 2022, 7:30 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Fri, Jun 17, 2022, 10:51 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Thu, Jun 16, 2022, 3:07 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Wed, Jun 15, 2022, 2:37 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Wed, Jun 15, 2022, 8:25 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Tue, Jun 14, 2022, 8:22 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to the list again. > i > >>>>>>>>> started > >>>>>>>>> by just logging time spent on planning and thinking about > it. > >>>>>>>>> after > >>>>>>>>> two attempts i was able to do it rather than think about > it, with > >>>>>>>>> effort. > >>>>>>>>> > >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water after warm > water, > >>>>>>>>> hard > >>>>>>>>> > >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10 seconds cold. > easy. > >>>>>>>>> food after. > >>>>>>>>> > >>>>>>>> > >>>>>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food > >>>>>>>> > >>>>>>> > >>>>>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy > >>>>>>> > >>>>>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after medium-easy > >>>>>> > >>>>> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-easy > >>>>> > >>>>>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food after medium-easy > >>>> > >>> 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-hard > >>> > >> 2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after medium-hard > >> > > 2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food > > 2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food after, medium-easy
> 2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, medium-easy, outdoors
2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, irrational state of mind,
indoors
2022-06-16 1502 69F 20/1:25cold 68F food after, easy, indoors
2022-06-17 1051 21/1:04cold 67.4F food after, medium-easy, indoors
2022-06-17 1929 unk warm, 22/1:20 cold, 58.8F, food after, medium, indoors
2022-06-18 0921 53.7F 22/1:12 cold with food medium-hard
2022-06-18 1653 53.7F 22/1:20 cold with hot food medium Much easier, 53.7F the second time. 1:20 is a little long, took me a bit to check the timer. Hard to start.
>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to the list >> >>>>>>>>> again. >> i >> >>>>>>>>> started >> >>>>>>>>> by just logging time spent on planning and thinking about >> it. >> >>>>>>>>> after >> >>>>>>>>> two attempts i was able to do it rather than think about >> it, with >> >>>>>>>>> effort. >> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water after warm >> water, >> >>>>>>>>> hard >> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10 seconds cold. >> easy. >> >>>>>>>>> food after. >> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food >> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy >> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after medium-easy >> >>>>>> >> >>>>> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-easy >> >>>>> >> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food after medium-easy >> >>>> >> >>> 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-hard >> >>> >> >> 2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after medium-hard >> >> >> > 2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food >> >> 2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food after, medium-easy > > >> 2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, medium-easy, outdoors > > 2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, irrational state of mind, indoors
2022-06-16 1502 69F 20/1:25cold 68F food after, easy, indoors
2022-06-17 1051 21/1:04cold 67.4F food after, medium-easy, indoors
2022-06-17 1929 unk warm, 22/1:20 cold, 58.8F, food after, medium, indoors
2022-06-18 0921 53.7F 22/1:12 cold with food medium-hard
2022-06-18 1653 53.7F 22/1:20 cold with hot food medium
2022-06-19 0736 56.4F 12/:30 cold + 22/1:15 cold with warm food, medium-hard I dropped the temperature (by running the water less) to make it easier to start. It's been a colder couple of summer days and nights. It was pretty hard this time at first and I stopped after a count of 12. I had some food and tried again before finishing the food, and did the whole 22 count the second time.
On Sun, Jun 19, 2022, 7:47 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to the list >>> >>>>>>>>> again. >>> i >>> >>>>>>>>> started >>> >>>>>>>>> by just logging time spent on planning and thinking about >>> it. >>> >>>>>>>>> after >>> >>>>>>>>> two attempts i was able to do it rather than think about >>> it, with >>> >>>>>>>>> effort. >>> >>>>>>>>> >>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water after warm >>> water, >>> >>>>>>>>> hard >>> >>>>>>>>> >>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10 seconds
cold. >>>>>>>> easy. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> food after. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after medium-easy >>>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-easy >>>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food after medium-easy >>>>>>>> >>>> >>>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-hard >>>>>>>> >>> >>>>>>>> >> 2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after medium-hard >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>>> > 2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food after, medium-easy >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, medium-easy, outdoors >>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, irrational state of mind, >>>>>> indoors >>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-16 1502 69F 20/1:25cold 68F food after, easy, indoors >>>>> >>>> 2022-06-17 1051 21/1:04cold 67.4F food after, medium-easy, indoors >>>> >>> 2022-06-17 1929 unk warm, 22/1:20 cold, 58.8F, food after, medium, >>> indoors >>> >> 2022-06-18 0921 53.7F 22/1:12 cold with food medium-hard >> > 2022-06-18 1653 53.7F 22/1:20 cold with hot food medium
2022-06-19 0736 56.4F 12/:30 cold + 22/1:15 cold with warm food, medium-hard
2022-06-20 0547 61.7F 22/1:36 with food and sugar cookie, hard to start, medium to do
Really hard to start, sugar cookie helped a lot. Also warmed food. I think sticking with lower temperatures would be easier if I dropped the time when dropping the temperature erratically at first. After a count of around 6 it got much easier. The sugar cookie taken right after onset seemed more impactful than the warm food after.
On Mon, Jun 20, 2022, 5:50 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Sun, Jun 19, 2022, 7:47 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to the list >>>> >>>>>>>>> again. >>>> i >>>> >>>>>>>>> started >>>> >>>>>>>>> by just logging time spent on planning and thinking about >>>> it. >>>> >>>>>>>>> after >>>> >>>>>>>>> two attempts i was able to do it rather than think about >>>> it, with >>>> >>>>>>>>> effort. >>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water after warm >>>> water, >>>> >>>>>>>>> hard >>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10 seconds
cold. >>>>>>>> easy. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> food after. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after medium-easy >>>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-easy >>>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food after medium-easy >>>>>>>> >>>> >>>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-hard >>>>>>>> >>> >>>>>>>> >> 2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after medium-hard >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>>> > 2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food after, medium-easy >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, medium-easy, outdoors >>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, irrational state of mind, >>>>>> indoors >>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-16 1502 69F 20/1:25cold 68F food after, easy, indoors >>>>> >>>> 2022-06-17 1051 21/1:04cold 67.4F food after, medium-easy, indoors >>>> >>> 2022-06-17 1929 unk warm, 22/1:20 cold, 58.8F, food after, medium, >>> indoors >>> >> 2022-06-18 0921 53.7F 22/1:12 cold with food medium-hard >> > 2022-06-18 1653 53.7F 22/1:20 cold with hot food medium
2022-06-19 0736 56.4F 12/:30 cold + 22/1:15 cold with warm food, medium-hard
2022-06-20 0547 61.7F 22/1:36 with food and sugar cookie, hard to start, medium to do
2022-06-20 2029 22/1:23 65.3F with warmish food, medium-hard
Hard to start. Seemed easier when i was in the water and it was on parts of me I'd be practicing, so i cooled parts of me that got colder more easily to help. After a bit it was easy. Afterward, checking the temperature, not very low. Working on initiating it. Still seems long for dropping the temperature (given difficulty starting), which is too bad.
On Mon, Jun 20, 2022, 8:32 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Mon, Jun 20, 2022, 5:50 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Sun, Jun 19, 2022, 7:47 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to the list >>>>> >>>>>>>>> again. >>>>> i >>>>> >>>>>>>>> started >>>>> >>>>>>>>> by just logging time spent on planning and thinking about >>>>> it. >>>>> >>>>>>>>> after >>>>> >>>>>>>>> two attempts i was able to do it rather than think about >>>>> it, with >>>>> >>>>>>>>> effort. >>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water after warm >>>>> water, >>>>> >>>>>>>>> hard >>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10 seconds
cold. >>>>>>>> easy. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> food after. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after medium-easy >>>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-easy >>>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food after medium-easy >>>>>>>> >>>> >>>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-hard >>>>>>>> >>> >>>>>>>> >> 2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after medium-hard >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>>> > 2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food after, medium-easy >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, medium-easy, outdoors >>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, irrational state of mind, >>>>>> indoors >>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-16 1502 69F 20/1:25cold 68F food after, easy, indoors >>>>> >>>> 2022-06-17 1051 21/1:04cold 67.4F food after, medium-easy, indoors >>>> >>> 2022-06-17 1929 unk warm, 22/1:20 cold, 58.8F, food after, medium, >>> indoors >>> >> 2022-06-18 0921 53.7F 22/1:12 cold with food medium-hard >> > 2022-06-18 1653 53.7F 22/1:20 cold with hot food medium
2022-06-19 0736 56.4F 12/:30 cold + 22/1:15 cold with warm food, medium-hard
2022-06-20 0547 61.7F 22/1:36 with food and sugar cookie, hard to start, medium to do
2022-06-20 2029 22/1:23 65.3F with warmish food, medium-hard
2022-06-21 0942 23/1:35 65.4F with warm food, sugar cookie, and nutritional yeast, medium Focused on shoulders since they get hit by cold first when not sure about doing it. Nutritional yeast made easier, it has a delayed draw.
On Tue, Jun 21, 2022, 9:45 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Mon, Jun 20, 2022, 8:32 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Mon, Jun 20, 2022, 5:50 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Sun, Jun 19, 2022, 7:47 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to the list >>>>>> >>>>>>>>> again. >>>>>> i >>>>>> >>>>>>>>> started >>>>>> >>>>>>>>> by just logging time spent on planning and thinking about >>>>>> it. >>>>>> >>>>>>>>> after >>>>>> >>>>>>>>> two attempts i was able to do it rather than think about >>>>>> it, with >>>>>> >>>>>>>>> effort. >>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water after warm >>>>>> water, >>>>>> >>>>>>>>> hard >>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10 seconds
cold. >>>>>>>> easy. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> food after. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after medium-easy >>>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-easy >>>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food after medium-easy >>>>>>>> >>>> >>>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-hard >>>>>>>> >>> >>>>>>>> >> 2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after medium-hard >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>>> > 2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food after, medium-easy >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, medium-easy, outdoors >>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, irrational state of mind, >>>>>> indoors >>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-16 1502 69F 20/1:25cold 68F food after, easy, indoors >>>>> >>>> 2022-06-17 1051 21/1:04cold 67.4F food after, medium-easy, indoors >>>> >>> 2022-06-17 1929 unk warm, 22/1:20 cold, 58.8F, food after, medium, >>> indoors >>> >> 2022-06-18 0921 53.7F 22/1:12 cold with food medium-hard >> > 2022-06-18 1653 53.7F 22/1:20 cold with hot food medium
2022-06-19 0736 56.4F 12/:30 cold + 22/1:15 cold with warm food, medium-hard
2022-06-20 0547 61.7F 22/1:36 with food and sugar cookie, hard to start, medium to do
2022-06-20 2029 22/1:23 65.3F with warmish food, medium-hard
2022-06-21 0942 23/1:35 65.4F with warm food, sugar cookie, and nutritional yeast, medium
2022-06-22 1845 long warm + 30/2:30 cool 61.7F hard-easy, food after It was _very_ hard to start, and then became pleasant, and I lost track of counting and counted to thirty. I'm still scared of how hard it was to start.
On Wed, Jun 22, 2022, 6:50 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Tue, Jun 21, 2022, 9:45 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Mon, Jun 20, 2022, 8:32 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Mon, Jun 20, 2022, 5:50 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Sun, Jun 19, 2022, 7:47 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to the list >>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> again. >>>>>>> i >>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> started >>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> by just logging time spent on planning and thinking about >>>>>>> it. >>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> after >>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> two attempts i was able to do it rather than think about >>>>>>> it, with >>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> effort. >>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water after warm >>>>>>> water, >>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> hard >>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10 seconds
cold. >>>>>>>> easy. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> food after. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after medium-easy >>>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-easy >>>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food after medium-easy >>>>>>>> >>>> >>>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-hard >>>>>>>> >>> >>>>>>>> >> 2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after medium-hard >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>>> > 2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food after, medium-easy >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, medium-easy, outdoors >>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, irrational state of mind, >>>>>> indoors >>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-16 1502 69F 20/1:25cold 68F food after, easy, indoors >>>>> >>>> 2022-06-17 1051 21/1:04cold 67.4F food after, medium-easy, indoors >>>> >>> 2022-06-17 1929 unk warm, 22/1:20 cold, 58.8F, food after, medium, >>> indoors >>> >> 2022-06-18 0921 53.7F 22/1:12 cold with food medium-hard >> > 2022-06-18 1653 53.7F 22/1:20 cold with hot food medium
2022-06-19 0736 56.4F 12/:30 cold + 22/1:15 cold with warm food, medium-hard
2022-06-20 0547 61.7F 22/1:36 with food and sugar cookie, hard to start, medium to do
2022-06-20 2029 22/1:23 65.3F with warmish food, medium-hard
2022-06-21 0942 23/1:35 65.4F with warm food, sugar cookie, and nutritional yeast, medium
2022-06-22 1845 long warm + 30/2:30 cool 61.7F hard-easy, food after
2022-06-24 0959 2:30 cool medium-easy with sugar cookie, food after Somewhat confused. I miscounted but got the time. I like focusing on my shoulders with the idea of making it less scary to be about to enter.
On Fri, Jun 24, 2022, 10:01 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Wed, Jun 22, 2022, 6:50 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Tue, Jun 21, 2022, 9:45 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Mon, Jun 20, 2022, 8:32 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Mon, Jun 20, 2022, 5:50 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Sun, Jun 19, 2022, 7:47 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to the list >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> again. >>>>>>>> i >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> started >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> by just logging time spent on planning and thinking about >>>>>>>> it. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> after >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> two attempts i was able to do it rather than think about >>>>>>>> it, with >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> effort. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water after warm >>>>>>>> water, >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> hard >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10 seconds cold. >>>>>>>> easy. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> food after. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after medium-easy >>>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-easy >>>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food after medium-easy >>>>>>>> >>>> >>>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-hard >>>>>>>> >>> >>>>>>>> >> 2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after medium-hard >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>>> > 2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food after, medium-easy >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, medium-easy, outdoors >>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, irrational state of mind, >>>>>> indoors >>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-16 1502 69F 20/1:25cold 68F food after, easy, indoors >>>>> >>>> 2022-06-17 1051 21/1:04cold 67.4F food after, medium-easy, indoors >>>> >>> 2022-06-17 1929 unk warm, 22/1:20 cold, 58.8F, food after, medium, >>> indoors >>> >> 2022-06-18 0921 53.7F 22/1:12 cold with food medium-hard >> > 2022-06-18 1653 53.7F 22/1:20 cold with hot food medium
2022-06-19 0736 56.4F 12/:30 cold + 22/1:15 cold with warm food, medium-hard
2022-06-20 0547 61.7F 22/1:36 with food and sugar cookie, hard to start, medium to do
2022-06-20 2029 22/1:23 65.3F with warmish food, medium-hard
2022-06-21 0942 23/1:35 65.4F with warm food, sugar cookie, and nutritional yeast, medium
2022-06-22 1845 long warm + 30/2:30 cool 61.7F hard-easy, food after
2022-06-24 0959 2:30 cool medium-easy with sugar cookie, food after
2022-06-25 1501 24/unk cool then long warm then 24/unk cool
> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to the > >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> list > >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> again. > >>>>>>>> i > >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> started > >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> by just logging time spent on planning and > thinking about > >>>>>>>> it. > >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> after > >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> two attempts i was able to do it rather than > >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> think > about > >>>>>>>> it, with > >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> effort. > >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> > >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water > after warm > >>>>>>>> water, > >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> hard > >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> > >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10 > seconds cold. > >>>>>>>> easy. > >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> food after. > >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> > >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> > >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food > >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> > >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> > >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy > >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> > >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after medium-easy > >>>>>>>> >>>>>> > >>>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-easy > >>>>>>>> >>>>> > >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food after > >>>>>>>> >>>>>> medium-easy > >>>>>>>> >>>> > >>>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-hard > >>>>>>>> >>> > >>>>>>>> >> 2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after medium-hard > >>>>>>>> >> > >>>>>>>> > 2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food > >>>>>>>> > >>>>>>>> 2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food after, medium-easy > >>>>>>> > >>>>>>> > >>>>>>>> 2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, medium-easy, > outdoors > >>>>>>> > >>>>>>> 2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, irrational state of > mind, > >>>>>> indoors > >>>>>> > >>>>> 2022-06-16 1502 69F 20/1:25cold 68F food after, easy, indoors > >>>>> > >>>> 2022-06-17 1051 21/1:04cold 67.4F food after, medium-easy, > indoors > >>>> > >>> 2022-06-17 1929 unk warm, 22/1:20 cold, 58.8F, food after, > >>> medium, > >>> indoors > >>> > >> 2022-06-18 0921 53.7F 22/1:12 cold with food medium-hard > >> > > 2022-06-18 1653 53.7F 22/1:20 cold with hot food medium > > 2022-06-19 0736 56.4F 12/:30 cold + 22/1:15 cold with warm food, > medium-hard
> 2022-06-20 0547 61.7F 22/1:36 with food and sugar cookie, hard to > start, medium to do
2022-06-20 2029 22/1:23 65.3F with warmish food, medium-hard
2022-06-21 0942 23/1:35 65.4F with warm food, sugar cookie, and nutritional yeast, medium
2022-06-22 1845 long warm + 30/2:30 cool 61.7F hard-easy, food after
2022-06-24 0959 2:30 cool medium-easy with sugar cookie, food after
2022-06-25 1501 24/unk cool then long warm then 24/unk cool 2022-06-26 25/1:19 cool, medium-hard
On Sun, Jun 26, 2022, 8:56 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to the >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> list >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> again. >> >>>>>>>> i >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> started >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> by just logging time spent on planning and >> thinking about >> >>>>>>>> it. >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> after >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> two attempts i was able to do it rather than >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> think >> about >> >>>>>>>> it, with >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> effort. >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water >> after warm >> >>>>>>>> water, >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> hard >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10 >> seconds cold. >> >>>>>>>> easy. >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> food after. >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after medium-easy >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> >> >>>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-easy >> >>>>>>>> >>>>> >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food after >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> medium-easy >> >>>>>>>> >>>> >> >>>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-hard >> >>>>>>>> >>> >> >>>>>>>> >> 2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after medium-hard >> >>>>>>>> >> >> >>>>>>>> > 2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food >> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food after, medium-easy >> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, medium-easy, >> outdoors >> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> 2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, irrational state of >> mind, >> >>>>>> indoors >> >>>>>> >> >>>>> 2022-06-16 1502 69F 20/1:25cold 68F food after, easy, indoors >> >>>>> >> >>>> 2022-06-17 1051 21/1:04cold 67.4F food after, medium-easy, >> indoors >> >>>> >> >>> 2022-06-17 1929 unk warm, 22/1:20 cold, 58.8F, food after, >> >>> medium, >> >>> indoors >> >>> >> >> 2022-06-18 0921 53.7F 22/1:12 cold with food medium-hard >> >> >> > 2022-06-18 1653 53.7F 22/1:20 cold with hot food medium >> >> 2022-06-19 0736 56.4F 12/:30 cold + 22/1:15 cold with warm food, >> medium-hard > > >> 2022-06-20 0547 61.7F 22/1:36 with food and sugar cookie, hard to >> start, medium to do > > 2022-06-20 2029 22/1:23 65.3F with warmish food, medium-hard
2022-06-21 0942 23/1:35 65.4F with warm food, sugar cookie, and nutritional yeast, medium
2022-06-22 1845 long warm + 30/2:30 cool 61.7F hard-easy, food after
2022-06-24 0959 2:30 cool medium-easy with sugar cookie, food after
2022-06-25 1501 24/unk cool then long warm then 24/unk cool 2022-06-26 25/1:19 cool, medium-hard
2022-06-26 1940 24/1:20 63.1F with food, medium-hard
I was cold, and I remember how I could engage internally to handle the water, and did this in advance to try to feel warmer, and managed to get a burat of warmth spreading through me, but tried so hard I caused a small psychotic thing. It was very hard to enter, and I was worried I wasn't eating making me colder. I heated two bowls of warm food and had one prior. It was very hard to enter, and i shivered a little. It became a bit easier staying in, a little unexpected, and by the count of 20 I seemed almost fine with it.
On 6/26/22, Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Sun, Jun 26, 2022, 8:56 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to the >>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> list >>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> again. >>> >>>>>>>> i >>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> started >>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> by just logging time spent on planning and >>> thinking about >>> >>>>>>>> it. >>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> after >>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> two attempts i was able to do it rather than >>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> think >>> about >>> >>>>>>>> it, with >>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> effort. >>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water >>> after warm >>> >>>>>>>> water, >>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> hard >>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10 >>> seconds cold. >>> >>>>>>>> easy. >>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> food after. >>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food >>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy >>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after medium-easy >>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> >>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-easy >>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> >>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food after >>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> medium-easy >>> >>>>>>>> >>>> >>> >>>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-hard >>> >>>>>>>> >>> >>> >>>>>>>> >> 2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after medium-hard >>> >>>>>>>> >> >>> >>>>>>>> > 2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food >>> >>>>>>>> >>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food after, medium-easy >>> >>>>>>> >>> >>>>>>> >>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, medium-easy, >>> outdoors >>> >>>>>>> >>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, irrational state of >>> mind, >>> >>>>>> indoors >>> >>>>>> >>> >>>>> 2022-06-16 1502 69F 20/1:25cold 68F food after, easy, >>> >>>>> indoors >>> >>>>> >>> >>>> 2022-06-17 1051 21/1:04cold 67.4F food after, medium-easy, >>> indoors >>> >>>> >>> >>> 2022-06-17 1929 unk warm, 22/1:20 cold, 58.8F, food after, >>> >>> medium, >>> >>> indoors >>> >>> >>> >> 2022-06-18 0921 53.7F 22/1:12 cold with food medium-hard >>> >> >>> > 2022-06-18 1653 53.7F 22/1:20 cold with hot food medium >>> >>> 2022-06-19 0736 56.4F 12/:30 cold + 22/1:15 cold with warm food, >>> medium-hard >> >> >>> 2022-06-20 0547 61.7F 22/1:36 with food and sugar cookie, hard to >>> start, medium to do >> >> 2022-06-20 2029 22/1:23 65.3F with warmish food, medium-hard > 2022-06-21 0942 23/1:35 65.4F with warm food, sugar cookie, and nutritional yeast, medium
2022-06-22 1845 long warm + 30/2:30 cool 61.7F hard-easy, food after
2022-06-24 0959 2:30 cool medium-easy with sugar cookie, food after
2022-06-25 1501 24/unk cool then long warm then 24/unk cool 2022-06-26 25/1:19 cool, medium-hard
2022-06-26 1940 24/1:20 63.1F with food, medium-hard
2022-06-27 1137 food w/out cold water i got and warmed some food, but it was hard to go into the cold water so I ate some to help. it warmed me some but i still did not go in. i turned the water on hot without going in, and it began getting very hot, and i started exercising until i was breathing hard from the exercise. i still did not want to go into the cold water, and wasn't sure how to get myself to, even when it was all steamy. i think i strengthened the inhibition fighting it. it's been building for some days, and is associated with a longer period under colder water. a plus today is that when i decided to do this, i engaged willpower like with bracing against the cold, and got myself there with intent to do it. that was a big success for me. maybe it made the pressure stronger later, not sure. plan: continue associating with food, but drop time to very short. it feels like it would be almost fine to do a very short time. goal: it would be nice to also do this associated with other things i do a lot, like sleeping or peeing[ or using a technological device.]
On Mon, Jun 27, 2022, 11:40 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Sun, Jun 26, 2022, 8:56 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to
On 6/26/22, Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: the
>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> list >>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> again. >>>> >>>>>>>> i >>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> started >>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> by just logging time spent on planning and >>>> thinking about >>>> >>>>>>>> it. >>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> after >>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> two attempts i was able to do it rather than >>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> think >>>> about >>>> >>>>>>>> it, with >>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> effort. >>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water >>>> after warm >>>> >>>>>>>> water, >>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> hard >>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10 >>>> seconds cold. >>>> >>>>>>>> easy. >>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> food after. >>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food >>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy >>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after medium-easy >>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-easy >>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> >>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food after >>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> medium-easy >>>> >>>>>>>> >>>> >>>> >>>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-hard >>>> >>>>>>>> >>> >>>> >>>>>>>> >> 2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after medium-hard >>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>> >>>>>>>> > 2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food >>>> >>>>>>>> >>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food after, medium-easy >>>> >>>>>>> >>>> >>>>>>> >>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, medium-easy, >>>> outdoors >>>> >>>>>>> >>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, irrational state of >>>> mind, >>>> >>>>>> indoors >>>> >>>>>> >>>> >>>>> 2022-06-16 1502 69F 20/1:25cold 68F food after, easy, >>>> >>>>> indoors >>>> >>>>> >>>> >>>> 2022-06-17 1051 21/1:04cold 67.4F food after, medium-easy, >>>> indoors >>>> >>>> >>>> >>> 2022-06-17 1929 unk warm, 22/1:20 cold, 58.8F, food after, >>>> >>> medium, >>>> >>> indoors >>>> >>> >>>> >> 2022-06-18 0921 53.7F 22/1:12 cold with food medium-hard >>>> >> >>>> > 2022-06-18 1653 53.7F 22/1:20 cold with hot food medium >>>> >>>> 2022-06-19 0736 56.4F 12/:30 cold + 22/1:15 cold with warm food, >>>> medium-hard >>> >>> >>>> 2022-06-20 0547 61.7F 22/1:36 with food and sugar cookie, hard to >>>> start, medium to do >>> >>> 2022-06-20 2029 22/1:23 65.3F with warmish food, medium-hard >> > 2022-06-21 0942 23/1:35 65.4F with warm food, sugar cookie, and > nutritional yeast, medium > 2022-06-22 1845 long warm + 30/2:30 cool 61.7F hard-easy, food after
2022-06-24 0959 2:30 cool medium-easy with sugar cookie, food after
2022-06-25 1501 24/unk cool then long warm then 24/unk cool 2022-06-26 25/1:19 cool, medium-hard
2022-06-26 1940 24/1:20 63.1F with food, medium-hard
2022-06-27 1137 food w/out cold water
2022-06--27 1738 1/0:13 53.6F hard
did not pee until did this. water colder than expected. planned to just dart in and out but ended up doing 13 seconds. Happy to have done after missing.
On Mon, Jun 27, 2022, 5:39 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Mon, Jun 27, 2022, 11:40 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Sun, Jun 26, 2022, 8:56 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to
On 6/26/22, Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: the
>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> list >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> again. >>>>> >>>>>>>> i >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> started >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> by just logging time spent on planning and >>>>> thinking about >>>>> >>>>>>>> it. >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> after >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> two attempts i was able to do it rather than >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> think >>>>> about >>>>> >>>>>>>> it, with >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> effort. >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water >>>>> after warm >>>>> >>>>>>>> water, >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> hard >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10 >>>>> seconds cold. >>>>> >>>>>>>> easy. >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> food after. >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after medium-easy >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-easy >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food after >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> medium-easy >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>> >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-hard >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> >>>>> >>>>>>>> >> 2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after medium-hard >>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>> >>>>>>>> > 2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food >>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food after, medium-easy >>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, medium-easy, >>>>> outdoors >>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, irrational state of >>>>> mind, >>>>> >>>>>> indoors >>>>> >>>>>> >>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-16 1502 69F 20/1:25cold 68F food after, easy, >>>>> >>>>> indoors >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>> 2022-06-17 1051 21/1:04cold 67.4F food after, medium-easy, >>>>> indoors >>>>> >>>> >>>>> >>> 2022-06-17 1929 unk warm, 22/1:20 cold, 58.8F, food after, >>>>> >>> medium, >>>>> >>> indoors >>>>> >>> >>>>> >> 2022-06-18 0921 53.7F 22/1:12 cold with food medium-hard >>>>> >> >>>>> > 2022-06-18 1653 53.7F 22/1:20 cold with hot food medium >>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-19 0736 56.4F 12/:30 cold + 22/1:15 cold with warm food, >>>>> medium-hard >>>> >>>> >>>>> 2022-06-20 0547 61.7F 22/1:36 with food and sugar cookie, hard to >>>>> start, medium to do >>>> >>>> 2022-06-20 2029 22/1:23 65.3F with warmish food, medium-hard >>> >> 2022-06-21 0942 23/1:35 65.4F with warm food, sugar cookie, and >> nutritional yeast, medium >> > 2022-06-22 1845 long warm + 30/2:30 cool 61.7F hard-easy, food after > 2022-06-24 0959 2:30 cool medium-easy with sugar cookie, food after
2022-06-25 1501 24/unk cool then long warm then 24/unk cool 2022-06-26 25/1:19 cool, medium-hard
2022-06-26 1940 24/1:20 63.1F with food, medium-hard
2022-06-27 1137 food w/out cold water
2022-06--27 1738 1/0:13 53.6F hard
2022-06-28 1028 warm then a little cool for total of 3 mins was having big inhition and planning to stop eating. Figured I just needed to find a way. Planned to just be in cold water super briefly: seems better to find spaces the inhibitions are more okay with and grow them, than to challenge where is harder, when they are strong. Ended up doing longer. Keeping text below as reminder of how it helps pressure things.
did not pee until did this. water colder than expected. planned to just dart in and out but ended up doing 13 seconds. Happy to have done after missing.
On Tue, Jun 28, 2022, 10:30 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Mon, Jun 27, 2022, 5:39 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Mon, Jun 27, 2022, 11:40 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Sun, Jun 26, 2022, 8:56 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to
>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> list >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> again. >>>>>> >>>>>>>> i >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> started >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> by just logging time spent on planning and >>>>>> thinking about >>>>>> >>>>>>>> it. >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> after >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> two attempts i was able to do it rather
On 6/26/22, Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: the than
>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> think >>>>>> about >>>>>> >>>>>>>> it, with >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> effort. >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water >>>>>> after warm >>>>>> >>>>>>>> water, >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> hard >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10 >>>>>> seconds cold. >>>>>> >>>>>>>> easy. >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> food after. >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after medium-easy >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-easy >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food after >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> medium-easy >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-hard >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> 2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after medium-hard >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>> >>>>>>>> > 2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food after, medium-easy >>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, medium-easy, >>>>>> outdoors >>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, irrational state of >>>>>> mind, >>>>>> >>>>>> indoors >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-16 1502 69F 20/1:25cold 68F food after, easy, >>>>>> >>>>> indoors >>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>> >>>> 2022-06-17 1051 21/1:04cold 67.4F food after, medium-easy, >>>>>> indoors >>>>>> >>>> >>>>>> >>> 2022-06-17 1929 unk warm, 22/1:20 cold, 58.8F, food after, >>>>>> >>> medium, >>>>>> >>> indoors >>>>>> >>> >>>>>> >> 2022-06-18 0921 53.7F 22/1:12 cold with food medium-hard >>>>>> >> >>>>>> > 2022-06-18 1653 53.7F 22/1:20 cold with hot food medium >>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-19 0736 56.4F 12/:30 cold + 22/1:15 cold with warm food, >>>>>> medium-hard >>>>> >>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-20 0547 61.7F 22/1:36 with food and sugar cookie, hard to >>>>>> start, medium to do >>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-20 2029 22/1:23 65.3F with warmish food, medium-hard >>>> >>> 2022-06-21 0942 23/1:35 65.4F with warm food, sugar cookie, and >>> nutritional yeast, medium >>> >> 2022-06-22 1845 long warm + 30/2:30 cool 61.7F hard-easy, food after >> > 2022-06-24 0959 2:30 cool medium-easy with sugar cookie, food after > 2022-06-25 1501 24/unk cool then long warm then 24/unk cool 2022-06-26 25/1:19 cool, medium-hard
2022-06-26 1940 24/1:20 63.1F with food, medium-hard
2022-06-27 1137 food w/out cold water
2022-06--27 1738 1/0:13 53.6F hard
2022-06-28 1028 warm then a little cool for total of 3 mins
2022-06-28 1710 2/0:07 cool, food after, held pee I'm in a new environment temporarily. My experiences behave and learn differently when I change environments.
On Tue, Jun 28, 2022, 5:11 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Tue, Jun 28, 2022, 10:30 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Mon, Jun 27, 2022, 5:39 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Mon, Jun 27, 2022, 11:40 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Sun, Jun 26, 2022, 8:56 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to the >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> list >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> again. >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> i >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> started >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> by just logging time spent on planning and >>>>>>> thinking about >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> it. >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> after >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> two attempts i was able to do it rather
On 6/26/22, Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: than
>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> think >>>>>>> about >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> it, with >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> effort. >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water >>>>>>> after warm >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> water, >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> hard >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10 >>>>>>> seconds cold. >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> easy. >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> food after. >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after medium-easy >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-easy >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food after >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> medium-easy >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-hard >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> 2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after medium-hard >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> > 2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food after, medium-easy >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, medium-easy, >>>>>>> outdoors >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, irrational state of >>>>>>> mind, >>>>>>> >>>>>> indoors >>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-16 1502 69F 20/1:25cold 68F food after, easy, >>>>>>> >>>>> indoors >>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>>> >>>> 2022-06-17 1051 21/1:04cold 67.4F food after, medium-easy, >>>>>>> indoors >>>>>>> >>>> >>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-17 1929 unk warm, 22/1:20 cold, 58.8F, food after, >>>>>>> >>> medium, >>>>>>> >>> indoors >>>>>>> >>> >>>>>>> >> 2022-06-18 0921 53.7F 22/1:12 cold with food medium-hard >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> > 2022-06-18 1653 53.7F 22/1:20 cold with hot food medium >>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-19 0736 56.4F 12/:30 cold + 22/1:15 cold with warm food, >>>>>>> medium-hard >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-20 0547 61.7F 22/1:36 with food and sugar cookie, hard to >>>>>>> start, medium to do >>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-20 2029 22/1:23 65.3F with warmish food, medium-hard >>>>> >>>> 2022-06-21 0942 23/1:35 65.4F with warm food, sugar cookie, and >>>> nutritional yeast, medium >>>> >>> 2022-06-22 1845 long warm + 30/2:30 cool 61.7F hard-easy, food after >>> >> 2022-06-24 0959 2:30 cool medium-easy with sugar cookie, food after >> > 2022-06-25 1501 24/unk cool then long warm then 24/unk cool 2022-06-26 25/1:19 cool, medium-hard
2022-06-26 1940 24/1:20 63.1F with food, medium-hard
2022-06-27 1137 food w/out cold water
2022-06--27 1738 1/0:13 53.6F hard
2022-06-28 1028 warm then a little cool for total of 3 mins
2022-06-28 1710 2/0:07 cool, food after, held pee
2022-06-29 1350 2/0:05 cool, food after, hard I'm in a pretty disconnected state of mind. Once i managed to do it it didnt seem to matter how long it was, but i kept it short. Small sense of realizing it's not too hard.
On Wed, Jun 29, 2022, 1:51 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Tue, Jun 28, 2022, 5:11 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Tue, Jun 28, 2022, 10:30 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Mon, Jun 27, 2022, 5:39 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Mon, Jun 27, 2022, 11:40 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Sun, Jun 26, 2022, 8:56 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to the > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> list > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> again. > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> i > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> started > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> by just logging time spent on planning and > >>>>>>> thinking about > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> it. > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> after > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> two attempts i was able to do it rather
On 6/26/22, Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: than
> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> think > >>>>>>> about > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> it, with > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> effort. > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water > >>>>>>> after warm > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> water, > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> hard > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10 > >>>>>>> seconds cold. > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> easy. > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> food after. > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after medium-easy > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-easy > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food after > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> medium-easy > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>> > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-hard > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> 2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after medium-hard > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> > 2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food after, medium-easy > >>>>>>> >>>>>>> > >>>>>>> >>>>>>> > >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, medium-easy, > >>>>>>> outdoors > >>>>>>> >>>>>>> > >>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, irrational state > of > >>>>>>> mind, > >>>>>>> >>>>>> indoors > >>>>>>> >>>>>> > >>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-16 1502 69F 20/1:25cold 68F food after, easy, > >>>>>>> >>>>> indoors > >>>>>>> >>>>> > >>>>>>> >>>> 2022-06-17 1051 21/1:04cold 67.4F food after, medium-easy, > >>>>>>> indoors > >>>>>>> >>>> > >>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-17 1929 unk warm, 22/1:20 cold, 58.8F, food after, > >>>>>>> >>> medium, > >>>>>>> >>> indoors > >>>>>>> >>> > >>>>>>> >> 2022-06-18 0921 53.7F 22/1:12 cold with food medium-hard > >>>>>>> >> > >>>>>>> > 2022-06-18 1653 53.7F 22/1:20 cold with hot food medium > >>>>>>> > >>>>>>> 2022-06-19 0736 56.4F 12/:30 cold + 22/1:15 cold with warm food, > >>>>>>> medium-hard > >>>>>> > >>>>>> > >>>>>>> 2022-06-20 0547 61.7F 22/1:36 with food and sugar cookie, hard to > >>>>>>> start, medium to do > >>>>>> > >>>>>> 2022-06-20 2029 22/1:23 65.3F with warmish food, medium-hard > >>>>> > >>>> 2022-06-21 0942 23/1:35 65.4F with warm food, sugar cookie, and > >>>> nutritional yeast, medium > >>>> > >>> 2022-06-22 1845 long warm + 30/2:30 cool 61.7F hard-easy, food after > >>> > >> 2022-06-24 0959 2:30 cool medium-easy with sugar cookie, food after > >> > > 2022-06-25 1501 24/unk cool then long warm then 24/unk cool > 2022-06-26 25/1:19 cool, medium-hard
2022-06-26 1940 24/1:20 63.1F with food, medium-hard
2022-06-27 1137 food w/out cold water
2022-06--27 1738 1/0:13 53.6F hard
2022-06-28 1028 warm then a little cool for total of 3 mins
2022-06-28 1710 2/0:07 cool, food after, held pee
2022-06-29 1350 2/0:05 cool, food after, hard
2022-06-29 1950 2/0:07 cool, food after, medium Quite happy for this to seem reasonable. I spent some time making food first. I'm not eating other than these, of course.
On Wed, Jun 29, 2022, 7:52 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Wed, Jun 29, 2022, 1:51 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Tue, Jun 28, 2022, 5:11 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Tue, Jun 28, 2022, 10:30 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Mon, Jun 27, 2022, 5:39 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Mon, Jun 27, 2022, 11:40 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On 6/26/22, Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: > On Sun, Jun 26, 2022, 8:56 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of > Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to the >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> list >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> again. >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> i >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> started >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> by just logging time spent on planning and >> >>>>>>> thinking about >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> it. >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> after >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> two attempts i was able to do it rather than >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> think >> >>>>>>> about >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> it, with >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> effort. >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water >> >>>>>>> after warm >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> water, >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> hard >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10 >> >>>>>>> seconds cold. >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> easy. >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> food after. >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after medium-easy >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-easy >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food after >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> medium-easy >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-hard >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> 2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after medium-hard >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> > 2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food after, medium-easy >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, medium-easy, >> >>>>>>> outdoors >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, irrational state >> of >> >>>>>>> mind, >> >>>>>>> >>>>>> indoors >> >>>>>>> >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-16 1502 69F 20/1:25cold 68F food after, easy, >> >>>>>>> >>>>> indoors >> >>>>>>> >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>> 2022-06-17 1051 21/1:04cold 67.4F food after, medium-easy, >> >>>>>>> indoors >> >>>>>>> >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-17 1929 unk warm, 22/1:20 cold, 58.8F, food after, >> >>>>>>> >>> medium, >> >>>>>>> >>> indoors >> >>>>>>> >>> >> >>>>>>> >> 2022-06-18 0921 53.7F 22/1:12 cold with food medium-hard >> >>>>>>> >> >> >>>>>>> > 2022-06-18 1653 53.7F 22/1:20 cold with hot food medium >> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> 2022-06-19 0736 56.4F 12/:30 cold + 22/1:15 cold with warm food, >> >>>>>>> medium-hard >> >>>>>> >> >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> 2022-06-20 0547 61.7F 22/1:36 with food and sugar cookie, hard to >> >>>>>>> start, medium to do >> >>>>>> >> >>>>>> 2022-06-20 2029 22/1:23 65.3F with warmish food, medium-hard >> >>>>> >> >>>> 2022-06-21 0942 23/1:35 65.4F with warm food, sugar cookie, and >> >>>> nutritional yeast, medium >> >>>> >> >>> 2022-06-22 1845 long warm + 30/2:30 cool 61.7F hard-easy, food after >> >>> >> >> 2022-06-24 0959 2:30 cool medium-easy with sugar cookie, food after >> >> >> > 2022-06-25 1501 24/unk cool then long warm then 24/unk cool >> 2022-06-26 25/1:19 cool, medium-hard > > > 2022-06-26 1940 24/1:20 63.1F with food, medium-hard
2022-06-27 1137 food w/out cold water
2022-06--27 1738 1/0:13 53.6F hard
2022-06-28 1028 warm then a little cool for total of 3 mins
2022-06-28 1710 2/0:07 cool, food after, held pee
2022-06-29 1350 2/0:05 cool, food after, hard
2022-06-29 1950 2/0:07 cool, food after, medium
2022-06-30 1019 2/0:11 cool, medium-easy, food after It seemed like I could partly almost do it automatically, just a little bit
On Thu, Jun 30, 2022, 10:20 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Wed, Jun 29, 2022, 7:52 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Wed, Jun 29, 2022, 1:51 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Tue, Jun 28, 2022, 5:11 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Tue, Jun 28, 2022, 10:30 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Mon, Jun 27, 2022, 5:39 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Mon, Jun 27, 2022, 11:40 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
> On 6/26/22, Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many > <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: > > On Sun, Jun 26, 2022, 8:56 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One > Victim of > > Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: > > > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging > publicly to the > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> list > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> again. > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> i > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> started > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> by just logging time spent on planning > and > >> >>>>>>> thinking about > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> it. > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> after > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> two attempts i was able to do it > rather than > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> think > >> >>>>>>> about > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> it, with > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> effort. > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds > cold water > >> >>>>>>> after warm > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> water, > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> hard > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds > warm, 10 > >> >>>>>>> seconds cold. > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> easy. > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> food after. > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold > with food > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after > medium-easy > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after > medium-easy > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food after > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> medium-easy > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>> > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after > medium-hard > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> 2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after > medium-hard > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> > 2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food after, > medium-easy > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, > medium-easy, > >> >>>>>>> outdoors > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, > irrational state > >> of > >> >>>>>>> mind, > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>> indoors > >> >>>>>>> >>>>>> > >> >>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-16 1502 69F 20/1:25cold 68F food after, > easy, > >> >>>>>>> >>>>> indoors > >> >>>>>>> >>>>> > >> >>>>>>> >>>> 2022-06-17 1051 21/1:04cold 67.4F food after, > medium-easy, > >> >>>>>>> indoors > >> >>>>>>> >>>> > >> >>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-17 1929 unk warm, 22/1:20 cold, 58.8F, food > after, > >> >>>>>>> >>> medium, > >> >>>>>>> >>> indoors > >> >>>>>>> >>> > >> >>>>>>> >> 2022-06-18 0921 53.7F 22/1:12 cold with food > medium-hard > >> >>>>>>> >> > >> >>>>>>> > 2022-06-18 1653 53.7F 22/1:20 cold with hot food medium > >> >>>>>>> > >> >>>>>>> 2022-06-19 0736 56.4F 12/:30 cold + 22/1:15 cold with > warm food, > >> >>>>>>> medium-hard > >> >>>>>> > >> >>>>>> > >> >>>>>>> 2022-06-20 0547 61.7F 22/1:36 with food and sugar cookie, > hard to > >> >>>>>>> start, medium to do > >> >>>>>> > >> >>>>>> 2022-06-20 2029 22/1:23 65.3F with warmish food, > medium-hard > >> >>>>> > >> >>>> 2022-06-21 0942 23/1:35 65.4F with warm food, sugar cookie, > and > >> >>>> nutritional yeast, medium > >> >>>> > >> >>> 2022-06-22 1845 long warm + 30/2:30 cool 61.7F hard-easy, > food after > >> >>> > >> >> 2022-06-24 0959 2:30 cool medium-easy with sugar cookie, food > after > >> >> > >> > 2022-06-25 1501 24/unk cool then long warm then 24/unk cool > >> 2022-06-26 25/1:19 cool, medium-hard > > > > > > 2022-06-26 1940 24/1:20 63.1F with food, medium-hard > > 2022-06-27 1137 food w/out cold water >
> 2022-06--27 1738 1/0:13 53.6F hard
2022-06-28 1028 warm then a little cool for total of 3 mins
2022-06-28 1710 2/0:07 cool, food after, held pee
2022-06-29 1350 2/0:05 cool, food after, hard
2022-06-29 1950 2/0:07 cool, food after, medium
2022-06-30 1019 2/0:11 cool, medium-easy, food after
2022-06-30 11;10 2/10.7 cool, medium-easy, no food, nap after Sometimes I take naps, or just lie down and spasm and writhe. Seems it would be helpful to do this before that.
On Thu, Jun 30, 2022, 11:11 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Thu, Jun 30, 2022, 10:20 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Wed, Jun 29, 2022, 7:52 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Wed, Jun 29, 2022, 1:51 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Tue, Jun 28, 2022, 5:11 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Tue, Jun 28, 2022, 10:30 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Mon, Jun 27, 2022, 5:39 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
> > > On Mon, Jun 27, 2022, 11:40 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One > Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: > >> On 6/26/22, Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many >> <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >> > On Sun, Jun 26, 2022, 8:56 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One >> Victim of >> > Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >> > >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging >> publicly to the >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> list >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> again. >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> i >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> started >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> by just logging time spent on >> planning and >> >> >>>>>>> thinking about >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> it. >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> after >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> two attempts i was able to do it >> rather than >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> think >> >> >>>>>>> about >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> it, with >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> effort. >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds >> cold water >> >> >>>>>>> after warm >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> water, >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> hard >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds >> warm, 10 >> >> >>>>>>> seconds cold. >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> easy. >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> food after. >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold >> with food >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after >> medium-easy >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after >> medium-easy >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food after >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> medium-easy >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>> >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after >> medium-hard >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> 2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after >> medium-hard >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> > 2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food after, >> medium-easy >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, >> medium-easy, >> >> >>>>>>> outdoors >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, >> irrational state >> >> of >> >> >>>>>>> mind, >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>> indoors >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>> >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-16 1502 69F 20/1:25cold 68F food after, >> easy, >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>> indoors >> >> >>>>>>> >>>>> >> >> >>>>>>> >>>> 2022-06-17 1051 21/1:04cold 67.4F food after, >> medium-easy, >> >> >>>>>>> indoors >> >> >>>>>>> >>>> >> >> >>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-17 1929 unk warm, 22/1:20 cold, 58.8F, food >> after, >> >> >>>>>>> >>> medium, >> >> >>>>>>> >>> indoors >> >> >>>>>>> >>> >> >> >>>>>>> >> 2022-06-18 0921 53.7F 22/1:12 cold with food >> medium-hard >> >> >>>>>>> >> >> >> >>>>>>> > 2022-06-18 1653 53.7F 22/1:20 cold with hot food medium >> >> >>>>>>> >> >> >>>>>>> 2022-06-19 0736 56.4F 12/:30 cold + 22/1:15 cold with >> warm food, >> >> >>>>>>> medium-hard >> >> >>>>>> >> >> >>>>>> >> >> >>>>>>> 2022-06-20 0547 61.7F 22/1:36 with food and sugar >> cookie, hard to >> >> >>>>>>> start, medium to do >> >> >>>>>> >> >> >>>>>> 2022-06-20 2029 22/1:23 65.3F with warmish food, >> medium-hard >> >> >>>>> >> >> >>>> 2022-06-21 0942 23/1:35 65.4F with warm food, sugar cookie, >> and >> >> >>>> nutritional yeast, medium >> >> >>>> >> >> >>> 2022-06-22 1845 long warm + 30/2:30 cool 61.7F hard-easy, >> food after >> >> >>> >> >> >> 2022-06-24 0959 2:30 cool medium-easy with sugar cookie, food >> after >> >> >> >> >> > 2022-06-25 1501 24/unk cool then long warm then 24/unk cool >> >> 2022-06-26 25/1:19 cool, medium-hard >> > >> > >> > 2022-06-26 1940 24/1:20 63.1F with food, medium-hard >> >> 2022-06-27 1137 food w/out cold water >> > >> 2022-06--27 1738 1/0:13 53.6F hard > > 2022-06-28 1028 warm then a little cool for total of 3 mins
2022-06-28 1710 2/0:07 cool, food after, held pee
2022-06-29 1350 2/0:05 cool, food after, hard
2022-06-29 1950 2/0:07 cool, food after, medium
2022-06-30 1019 2/0:11 cool, medium-easy, food after
2022-06-30 11;10 2/10.7 cool, medium-easy, no food, nap after
2022-06-30 1541 2/0:09 cool, medium, food after It seemed pretty easy, so I briefly imagined I was trying really hard to do it and this restimulated the inhibitions >_> . I can kind of feel them developing. The trying hard thing, I value, because it's kind of near planning and other basic parts of doing stuff.
On Thu, Jun 30, 2022, 3:43 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Thu, Jun 30, 2022, 11:11 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Thu, Jun 30, 2022, 10:20 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Wed, Jun 29, 2022, 7:52 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Wed, Jun 29, 2022, 1:51 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Tue, Jun 28, 2022, 5:11 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Tue, Jun 28, 2022, 10:30 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
> > > On Mon, Jun 27, 2022, 5:39 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim > of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: > >> >> >> On Mon, Jun 27, 2022, 11:40 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One >> Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >> >>> On 6/26/22, Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many >>> <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>> > On Sun, Jun 26, 2022, 8:56 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One >>> Victim of >>> > Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>> > >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging >>> publicly to the >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> list >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> again. >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> i >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> started >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> by just logging time spent on >>> planning and >>> >> >>>>>>> thinking about >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> it. >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> after >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> two attempts i was able to do it >>> rather than >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> think >>> >> >>>>>>> about >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> it, with >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> effort. >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds >>> cold water >>> >> >>>>>>> after warm >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> water, >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> hard >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds >>> warm, 10 >>> >> >>>>>>> seconds cold. >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> easy. >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> food after. >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold >>> with food >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after >>> medium-easy >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after >>> medium-easy >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food >>> after >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> medium-easy >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>> >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after >>> medium-hard >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> 2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after >>> medium-hard >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> > 2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food after, >>> medium-easy >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, >>> medium-easy, >>> >> >>>>>>> outdoors >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, >>> irrational state >>> >> of >>> >> >>>>>>> mind, >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>> indoors >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>> >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-16 1502 69F 20/1:25cold 68F food after, >>> easy, >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>> indoors >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>> >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>> 2022-06-17 1051 21/1:04cold 67.4F food after, >>> medium-easy, >>> >> >>>>>>> indoors >>> >> >>>>>>> >>>> >>> >> >>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-17 1929 unk warm, 22/1:20 cold, 58.8F, food >>> after, >>> >> >>>>>>> >>> medium, >>> >> >>>>>>> >>> indoors >>> >> >>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>> >> 2022-06-18 0921 53.7F 22/1:12 cold with food >>> medium-hard >>> >> >>>>>>> >> >>> >> >>>>>>> > 2022-06-18 1653 53.7F 22/1:20 cold with hot food >>> medium >>> >> >>>>>>> >>> >> >>>>>>> 2022-06-19 0736 56.4F 12/:30 cold + 22/1:15 cold with >>> warm food, >>> >> >>>>>>> medium-hard >>> >> >>>>>> >>> >> >>>>>> >>> >> >>>>>>> 2022-06-20 0547 61.7F 22/1:36 with food and sugar >>> cookie, hard to >>> >> >>>>>>> start, medium to do >>> >> >>>>>> >>> >> >>>>>> 2022-06-20 2029 22/1:23 65.3F with warmish food, >>> medium-hard >>> >> >>>>> >>> >> >>>> 2022-06-21 0942 23/1:35 65.4F with warm food, sugar >>> cookie, and >>> >> >>>> nutritional yeast, medium >>> >> >>>> >>> >> >>> 2022-06-22 1845 long warm + 30/2:30 cool 61.7F hard-easy, >>> food after >>> >> >>> >>> >> >> 2022-06-24 0959 2:30 cool medium-easy with sugar cookie, >>> food after >>> >> >> >>> >> > 2022-06-25 1501 24/unk cool then long warm then 24/unk cool >>> >> 2022-06-26 25/1:19 cool, medium-hard >>> > >>> > >>> > 2022-06-26 1940 24/1:20 63.1F with food, medium-hard >>> >>> 2022-06-27 1137 food w/out cold water >>> >> >>> 2022-06--27 1738 1/0:13 53.6F hard >> >> > 2022-06-28 1028 warm then a little cool for total of 3 mins > 2022-06-28 1710 2/0:07 cool, food after, held pee
2022-06-29 1350 2/0:05 cool, food after, hard
2022-06-29 1950 2/0:07 cool, food after, medium
2022-06-30 1019 2/0:11 cool, medium-easy, food after
2022-06-30 11;10 2/10.7 cool, medium-easy, no food, nap after
2022-06-30 1541 2/0:09 cool, medium, food after
2022-06-30 1916 2/0:12.38 cool, medium-hard, nap after
On Thu, Jun 30, 2022, 7:17 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Thu, Jun 30, 2022, 3:43 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Thu, Jun 30, 2022, 11:11 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Thu, Jun 30, 2022, 10:20 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Wed, Jun 29, 2022, 7:52 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Wed, Jun 29, 2022, 1:51 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Tue, Jun 28, 2022, 5:11 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
> > > On Tue, Jun 28, 2022, 10:30 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One > Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: > >> >> >> On Mon, Jun 27, 2022, 5:39 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One >> Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >> >>> >>> >>> On Mon, Jun 27, 2022, 11:40 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One >>> Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>> >>>> On 6/26/22, Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many >>>> <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>>> > On Sun, Jun 26, 2022, 8:56 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One >>>> Victim of >>>> > Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>>> > >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging >>>> publicly to the >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> list >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> again. >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> i >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> started >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> by just logging time spent on >>>> planning and >>>> >> >>>>>>> thinking about >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> it. >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> after >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> two attempts i was able to do it >>>> rather than >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> think >>>> >> >>>>>>> about >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> it, with >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> effort. >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds >>>> cold water >>>> >> >>>>>>> after warm >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> water, >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> hard >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds >>>> warm, 10 >>>> >> >>>>>>> seconds cold. >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> easy. >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> food after. >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold >>>> with food >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after >>>> medium-easy >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after >>>> medium-easy >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food >>>> after >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> medium-easy >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>> >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after >>>> medium-hard >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> 2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after >>>> medium-hard >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> > 2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food after, >>>> medium-easy >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, >>>> medium-easy, >>>> >> >>>>>>> outdoors >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, >>>> irrational state >>>> >> of >>>> >> >>>>>>> mind, >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>> indoors >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-16 1502 69F 20/1:25cold 68F food after, >>>> easy, >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>> indoors >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>> >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>> 2022-06-17 1051 21/1:04cold 67.4F food after, >>>> medium-easy, >>>> >> >>>>>>> indoors >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>> >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-17 1929 unk warm, 22/1:20 cold, 58.8F, >>>> food after, >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>> medium, >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>> indoors >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>> >>>> >> >>>>>>> >> 2022-06-18 0921 53.7F 22/1:12 cold with food >>>> medium-hard >>>> >> >>>>>>> >> >>>> >> >>>>>>> > 2022-06-18 1653 53.7F 22/1:20 cold with hot food >>>> medium >>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>> >> >>>>>>> 2022-06-19 0736 56.4F 12/:30 cold + 22/1:15 cold with >>>> warm food, >>>> >> >>>>>>> medium-hard >>>> >> >>>>>> >>>> >> >>>>>> >>>> >> >>>>>>> 2022-06-20 0547 61.7F 22/1:36 with food and sugar >>>> cookie, hard to >>>> >> >>>>>>> start, medium to do >>>> >> >>>>>> >>>> >> >>>>>> 2022-06-20 2029 22/1:23 65.3F with warmish food, >>>> medium-hard >>>> >> >>>>> >>>> >> >>>> 2022-06-21 0942 23/1:35 65.4F with warm food, sugar >>>> cookie, and >>>> >> >>>> nutritional yeast, medium >>>> >> >>>> >>>> >> >>> 2022-06-22 1845 long warm + 30/2:30 cool 61.7F hard-easy, >>>> food after >>>> >> >>> >>>> >> >> 2022-06-24 0959 2:30 cool medium-easy with sugar cookie, >>>> food after >>>> >> >> >>>> >> > 2022-06-25 1501 24/unk cool then long warm then 24/unk cool >>>> >> 2022-06-26 25/1:19 cool, medium-hard >>>> > >>>> > >>>> > 2022-06-26 1940 24/1:20 63.1F with food, medium-hard >>>> >>>> 2022-06-27 1137 food w/out cold water >>>> >>> >>>> 2022-06--27 1738 1/0:13 53.6F hard >>> >>> >> 2022-06-28 1028 warm then a little cool for total of 3 mins >> > 2022-06-28 1710 2/0:07 cool, food after, held pee > 2022-06-29 1350 2/0:05 cool, food after, hard
2022-06-29 1950 2/0:07 cool, food after, medium
2022-06-30 1019 2/0:11 cool, medium-easy, food after
2022-06-30 11;10 2/10.7 cool, medium-easy, no food, nap after
2022-06-30 1541 2/0:09 cool, medium, food after
2022-06-30 1916 2/0:12.38 cool, medium-hard, nap after
2022-07-01 0746 long warm 4/unk cool, dissociated, food after
On Fri, Jul 1, 2022, 7:46 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Thu, Jun 30, 2022, 7:17 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Thu, Jun 30, 2022, 3:43 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Thu, Jun 30, 2022, 11:11 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Thu, Jun 30, 2022, 10:20 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Wed, Jun 29, 2022, 7:52 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Wed, Jun 29, 2022, 1:51 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
> > > On Tue, Jun 28, 2022, 5:11 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim > of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: > >> >> >> On Tue, Jun 28, 2022, 10:30 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One >> Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >> >>> >>> >>> On Mon, Jun 27, 2022, 5:39 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One >>> Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>> >>>> >>>> >>>> On Mon, Jun 27, 2022, 11:40 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One >>>> Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>>> >>>>> On 6/26/22, Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many >>>>> <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>>>> > On Sun, Jun 26, 2022, 8:56 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One >>>>> Victim of >>>>> > Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>>>> > >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging >>>>> publicly to the >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> list >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> again. >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> i >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> started >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> by just logging time spent on >>>>> planning and >>>>> >> >>>>>>> thinking about >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> it. >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> after >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> two attempts i was able to do it >>>>> rather than >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> think >>>>> >> >>>>>>> about >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> it, with >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> effort. >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds >>>>> cold water >>>>> >> >>>>>>> after warm >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> water, >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> hard >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds >>>>> warm, 10 >>>>> >> >>>>>>> seconds cold. >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> easy. >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> food after. >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold >>>>> with food >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after >>>>> medium-easy >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after >>>>> medium-easy >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food >>>>> after >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> medium-easy >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>> >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after >>>>> medium-hard >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> 2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after >>>>> medium-hard >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> > 2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food after, >>>>> medium-easy >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, >>>>> medium-easy, >>>>> >> >>>>>>> outdoors >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, >>>>> irrational state >>>>> >> of >>>>> >> >>>>>>> mind, >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>> indoors >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-16 1502 69F 20/1:25cold 68F food after, >>>>> easy, >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>> indoors >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>> 2022-06-17 1051 21/1:04cold 67.4F food after, >>>>> medium-easy, >>>>> >> >>>>>>> indoors >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>> >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-17 1929 unk warm, 22/1:20 cold, 58.8F, >>>>> food after, >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>> medium, >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>> indoors >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>> >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >> 2022-06-18 0921 53.7F 22/1:12 cold with food >>>>> medium-hard >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >> >>>>> >> >>>>>>> > 2022-06-18 1653 53.7F 22/1:20 cold with hot food >>>>> medium >>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>> >> >>>>>>> 2022-06-19 0736 56.4F 12/:30 cold + 22/1:15 cold with >>>>> warm food, >>>>> >> >>>>>>> medium-hard >>>>> >> >>>>>> >>>>> >> >>>>>> >>>>> >> >>>>>>> 2022-06-20 0547 61.7F 22/1:36 with food and sugar >>>>> cookie, hard to >>>>> >> >>>>>>> start, medium to do >>>>> >> >>>>>> >>>>> >> >>>>>> 2022-06-20 2029 22/1:23 65.3F with warmish food, >>>>> medium-hard >>>>> >> >>>>> >>>>> >> >>>> 2022-06-21 0942 23/1:35 65.4F with warm food, sugar >>>>> cookie, and >>>>> >> >>>> nutritional yeast, medium >>>>> >> >>>> >>>>> >> >>> 2022-06-22 1845 long warm + 30/2:30 cool 61.7F hard-easy, >>>>> food after >>>>> >> >>> >>>>> >> >> 2022-06-24 0959 2:30 cool medium-easy with sugar cookie, >>>>> food after >>>>> >> >> >>>>> >> > 2022-06-25 1501 24/unk cool then long warm then 24/unk cool >>>>> >> 2022-06-26 25/1:19 cool, medium-hard >>>>> > >>>>> > >>>>> > 2022-06-26 1940 24/1:20 63.1F with food, medium-hard >>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-27 1137 food w/out cold water >>>>> >>>> >>>>> 2022-06--27 1738 1/0:13 53.6F hard >>>> >>>> >>> 2022-06-28 1028 warm then a little cool for total of 3 mins >>> >> 2022-06-28 1710 2/0:07 cool, food after, held pee >> > 2022-06-29 1350 2/0:05 cool, food after, hard > 2022-06-29 1950 2/0:07 cool, food after, medium
2022-06-30 1019 2/0:11 cool, medium-easy, food after
2022-06-30 11;10 2/10.7 cool, medium-easy, no food, nap after
2022-06-30 1541 2/0:09 cool, medium, food after
2022-06-30 1916 2/0:12.38 cool, medium-hard, nap after
2022-07-01 0746 long warm 4/unk cool, dissociated, food after
2022-07-01 1639 2/unk cool, easy-medium, food after Was hot and tired
On Fri, Jul 1, 2022, 4:39 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Fri, Jul 1, 2022, 7:46 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Thu, Jun 30, 2022, 7:17 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Thu, Jun 30, 2022, 3:43 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Thu, Jun 30, 2022, 11:11 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Thu, Jun 30, 2022, 10:20 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Wed, Jun 29, 2022, 7:52 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
> > > On Wed, Jun 29, 2022, 1:51 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim > of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: > >> >> >> On Tue, Jun 28, 2022, 5:11 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One >> Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >> >>> >>> >>> On Tue, Jun 28, 2022, 10:30 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One >>> Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>> >>>> >>>> >>>> On Mon, Jun 27, 2022, 5:39 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One >>>> Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> On Mon, Jun 27, 2022, 11:40 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One >>>>> Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>>>> >>>>>> On 6/26/22, Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many >>>>>> <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>>>>> > On Sun, Jun 26, 2022, 8:56 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One >>>>>> Victim of >>>>>> > Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>>>>> > >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging >>>>>> publicly to the >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> list >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> again. >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> i >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> started >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> by just logging time spent on >>>>>> planning and >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> thinking about >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> it. >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> after >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> two attempts i was able to do it >>>>>> rather than >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> think >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> about >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> it, with >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> effort. >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 >>>>>> seconds cold water >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> after warm >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> water, >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> hard >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 >>>>>> seconds warm, 10 >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> seconds cold. >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> easy. >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> food after. >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 >>>>>> cold with food >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food >>>>>> easy >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food >>>>>> after medium-easy >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after >>>>>> medium-easy >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food >>>>>> after >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> medium-easy >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>> >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after >>>>>> medium-hard >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> 2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food >>>>>> after medium-hard >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> > 2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food >>>>>> after, medium-easy >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, >>>>>> medium-easy, >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> outdoors >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, >>>>>> irrational state >>>>>> >> of >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> mind, >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>> indoors >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-16 1502 69F 20/1:25cold 68F food >>>>>> after, easy, >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>> indoors >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>> 2022-06-17 1051 21/1:04cold 67.4F food after, >>>>>> medium-easy, >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> indoors >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>> >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-17 1929 unk warm, 22/1:20 cold, 58.8F, >>>>>> food after, >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>> medium, >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>> indoors >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>> >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >> 2022-06-18 0921 53.7F 22/1:12 cold with food >>>>>> medium-hard >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> > 2022-06-18 1653 53.7F 22/1:20 cold with hot food >>>>>> medium >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> 2022-06-19 0736 56.4F 12/:30 cold + 22/1:15 cold >>>>>> with warm food, >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> medium-hard >>>>>> >> >>>>>> >>>>>> >> >>>>>> >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> 2022-06-20 0547 61.7F 22/1:36 with food and sugar >>>>>> cookie, hard to >>>>>> >> >>>>>>> start, medium to do >>>>>> >> >>>>>> >>>>>> >> >>>>>> 2022-06-20 2029 22/1:23 65.3F with warmish food, >>>>>> medium-hard >>>>>> >> >>>>> >>>>>> >> >>>> 2022-06-21 0942 23/1:35 65.4F with warm food, sugar >>>>>> cookie, and >>>>>> >> >>>> nutritional yeast, medium >>>>>> >> >>>> >>>>>> >> >>> 2022-06-22 1845 long warm + 30/2:30 cool 61.7F >>>>>> hard-easy, food after >>>>>> >> >>> >>>>>> >> >> 2022-06-24 0959 2:30 cool medium-easy with sugar cookie, >>>>>> food after >>>>>> >> >> >>>>>> >> > 2022-06-25 1501 24/unk cool then long warm then 24/unk cool >>>>>> >> 2022-06-26 25/1:19 cool, medium-hard >>>>>> > >>>>>> > >>>>>> > 2022-06-26 1940 24/1:20 63.1F with food, medium-hard >>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-27 1137 food w/out cold water >>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06--27 1738 1/0:13 53.6F hard >>>>> >>>>> >>>> 2022-06-28 1028 warm then a little cool for total of 3 mins >>>> >>> 2022-06-28 1710 2/0:07 cool, food after, held pee >>> >> 2022-06-29 1350 2/0:05 cool, food after, hard >> > 2022-06-29 1950 2/0:07 cool, food after, medium > 2022-06-30 1019 2/0:11 cool, medium-easy, food after
2022-06-30 11;10 2/10.7 cool, medium-easy, no food, nap after
2022-06-30 1541 2/0:09 cool, medium, food after
2022-06-30 1916 2/0:12.38 cool, medium-hard, nap after
2022-07-01 0746 long warm 4/unk cool, dissociated, food after
2022-07-01 1639 2/unk cool, easy-medium, food after
2022-07-01 1839 2/0:11.7 cool, easy-medium, food after
On Fri, Jul 1, 2022, 6:40 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Fri, Jul 1, 2022, 4:39 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Fri, Jul 1, 2022, 7:46 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Thu, Jun 30, 2022, 7:17 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Thu, Jun 30, 2022, 3:43 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Thu, Jun 30, 2022, 11:11 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Thu, Jun 30, 2022, 10:20 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
> > > On Wed, Jun 29, 2022, 7:52 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim > of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: > >> >> >> On Wed, Jun 29, 2022, 1:51 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One >> Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >> >>> >>> >>> On Tue, Jun 28, 2022, 5:11 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One >>> Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>> >>>> >>>> >>>> On Tue, Jun 28, 2022, 10:30 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One >>>> Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> On Mon, Jun 27, 2022, 5:39 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One >>>>> Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> On Mon, Jun 27, 2022, 11:40 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One >>>>>> Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>>>>> >>>>>>> On 6/26/22, Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many >>>>>>> <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>>>>>> > On Sun, Jun 26, 2022, 8:56 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, >>>>>>> One Victim of >>>>>>> > Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>>>>>> > >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging >>>>>>> publicly to the >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> list >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> again. >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> i >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> started >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> by just logging time spent on >>>>>>> planning and >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> thinking about >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> it. >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> after >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> two attempts i was able to do it >>>>>>> rather than >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> think >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> about >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> it, with >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> effort. >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 >>>>>>> seconds cold water >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> after warm >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> water, >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> hard >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 >>>>>>> seconds warm, 10 >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> seconds cold. >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> easy. >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> food after. >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 >>>>>>> cold with food >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food >>>>>>> easy >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food >>>>>>> after medium-easy >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food >>>>>>> after medium-easy >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food >>>>>>> after >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> medium-easy >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after >>>>>>> medium-hard >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> 2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food >>>>>>> after medium-hard >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> > 2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with >>>>>>> food >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food >>>>>>> after, medium-easy >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, >>>>>>> medium-easy, >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> outdoors >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, >>>>>>> irrational state >>>>>>> >> of >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> mind, >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>> indoors >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-16 1502 69F 20/1:25cold 68F food >>>>>>> after, easy, >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>> indoors >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>> 2022-06-17 1051 21/1:04cold 67.4F food after, >>>>>>> medium-easy, >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> indoors >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-17 1929 unk warm, 22/1:20 cold, 58.8F, >>>>>>> food after, >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>> medium, >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>> indoors >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >> 2022-06-18 0921 53.7F 22/1:12 cold with food >>>>>>> medium-hard >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> > 2022-06-18 1653 53.7F 22/1:20 cold with hot food >>>>>>> medium >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> 2022-06-19 0736 56.4F 12/:30 cold + 22/1:15 cold >>>>>>> with warm food, >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> medium-hard >>>>>>> >> >>>>>> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> 2022-06-20 0547 61.7F 22/1:36 with food and sugar >>>>>>> cookie, hard to >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> start, medium to do >>>>>>> >> >>>>>> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>> 2022-06-20 2029 22/1:23 65.3F with warmish food, >>>>>>> medium-hard >>>>>>> >> >>>>> >>>>>>> >> >>>> 2022-06-21 0942 23/1:35 65.4F with warm food, sugar >>>>>>> cookie, and >>>>>>> >> >>>> nutritional yeast, medium >>>>>>> >> >>>> >>>>>>> >> >>> 2022-06-22 1845 long warm + 30/2:30 cool 61.7F >>>>>>> hard-easy, food after >>>>>>> >> >>> >>>>>>> >> >> 2022-06-24 0959 2:30 cool medium-easy with sugar cookie, >>>>>>> food after >>>>>>> >> >> >>>>>>> >> > 2022-06-25 1501 24/unk cool then long warm then 24/unk >>>>>>> cool >>>>>>> >> 2022-06-26 25/1:19 cool, medium-hard >>>>>>> > >>>>>>> > >>>>>>> > 2022-06-26 1940 24/1:20 63.1F with food, medium-hard >>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-27 1137 food w/out cold water >>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06--27 1738 1/0:13 53.6F hard >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-28 1028 warm then a little cool for total of 3 mins >>>>> >>>> 2022-06-28 1710 2/0:07 cool, food after, held pee >>>> >>> 2022-06-29 1350 2/0:05 cool, food after, hard >>> >> 2022-06-29 1950 2/0:07 cool, food after, medium >> > 2022-06-30 1019 2/0:11 cool, medium-easy, food after > 2022-06-30 11;10 2/10.7 cool, medium-easy, no food, nap after
2022-06-30 1541 2/0:09 cool, medium, food after
2022-06-30 1916 2/0:12.38 cool, medium-hard, nap after
2022-07-01 0746 long warm 4/unk cool, dissociated, food after
2022-07-01 1639 2/unk cool, easy-medium, food after
2022-07-01 1839 2/0:11.7 cool, easy-medium, food after
2022-07-01 1916 2/0:10.57 cool, easy-medium, nap after I have a headache and the cool water on my head is pleasant.
On Fri, Jul 1, 2022, 7:17 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Fri, Jul 1, 2022, 6:40 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Fri, Jul 1, 2022, 4:39 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Fri, Jul 1, 2022, 7:46 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Thu, Jun 30, 2022, 7:17 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Thu, Jun 30, 2022, 3:43 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Thu, Jun 30, 2022, 11:11 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
> > > On Thu, Jun 30, 2022, 10:20 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One > Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: > >> >> >> On Wed, Jun 29, 2022, 7:52 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One >> Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >> >>> >>> >>> On Wed, Jun 29, 2022, 1:51 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One >>> Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>> >>>> >>>> >>>> On Tue, Jun 28, 2022, 5:11 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One >>>> Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> On Tue, Jun 28, 2022, 10:30 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One >>>>> Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> On Mon, Jun 27, 2022, 5:39 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One >>>>>> Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> On Mon, Jun 27, 2022, 11:40 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One >>>>>>> Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> On 6/26/22, Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many >>>>>>>> <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>>>>>>> > On Sun, Jun 26, 2022, 8:56 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, >>>>>>>> One Victim of >>>>>>>> > Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>>>>>>> > >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging >>>>>>>> publicly to the >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> list >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> again. >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> i >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> started >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> by just logging time spent on >>>>>>>> planning and >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> thinking about >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> it. >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> after >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> two attempts i was able to do >>>>>>>> it rather than >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> think >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> about >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> it, with >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> effort. >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 >>>>>>>> seconds cold water >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> after warm >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> water, >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> hard >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 >>>>>>>> seconds warm, 10 >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> seconds cold. >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> easy. >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> food after. >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 >>>>>>>> cold with food >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food >>>>>>>> easy >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food >>>>>>>> after medium-easy >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food >>>>>>>> after medium-easy >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c >>>>>>>> food after >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> medium-easy >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after >>>>>>>> medium-hard >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> 2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food >>>>>>>> after medium-hard >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> > 2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with >>>>>>>> food >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food >>>>>>>> after, medium-easy >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, >>>>>>>> medium-easy, >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> outdoors >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, >>>>>>>> irrational state >>>>>>>> >> of >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> mind, >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>> indoors >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-16 1502 69F 20/1:25cold 68F food >>>>>>>> after, easy, >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>> indoors >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>> 2022-06-17 1051 21/1:04cold 67.4F food after, >>>>>>>> medium-easy, >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> indoors >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-17 1929 unk warm, 22/1:20 cold, 58.8F, >>>>>>>> food after, >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>> medium, >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>> indoors >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >> 2022-06-18 0921 53.7F 22/1:12 cold with food >>>>>>>> medium-hard >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> > 2022-06-18 1653 53.7F 22/1:20 cold with hot food >>>>>>>> medium >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> 2022-06-19 0736 56.4F 12/:30 cold + 22/1:15 cold >>>>>>>> with warm food, >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> medium-hard >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> 2022-06-20 0547 61.7F 22/1:36 with food and sugar >>>>>>>> cookie, hard to >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> start, medium to do >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>> 2022-06-20 2029 22/1:23 65.3F with warmish food, >>>>>>>> medium-hard >>>>>>>> >> >>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>> 2022-06-21 0942 23/1:35 65.4F with warm food, sugar >>>>>>>> cookie, and >>>>>>>> >> >>>> nutritional yeast, medium >>>>>>>> >> >>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>> 2022-06-22 1845 long warm + 30/2:30 cool 61.7F >>>>>>>> hard-easy, food after >>>>>>>> >> >>> >>>>>>>> >> >> 2022-06-24 0959 2:30 cool medium-easy with sugar >>>>>>>> cookie, food after >>>>>>>> >> >> >>>>>>>> >> > 2022-06-25 1501 24/unk cool then long warm then 24/unk >>>>>>>> cool >>>>>>>> >> 2022-06-26 25/1:19 cool, medium-hard >>>>>>>> > >>>>>>>> > >>>>>>>> > 2022-06-26 1940 24/1:20 63.1F with food, medium-hard >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-27 1137 food w/out cold water >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06--27 1738 1/0:13 53.6F hard >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-28 1028 warm then a little cool for total of 3 mins >>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-28 1710 2/0:07 cool, food after, held pee >>>>> >>>> 2022-06-29 1350 2/0:05 cool, food after, hard >>>> >>> 2022-06-29 1950 2/0:07 cool, food after, medium >>> >> 2022-06-30 1019 2/0:11 cool, medium-easy, food after >> > 2022-06-30 11;10 2/10.7 cool, medium-easy, no food, nap after > 2022-06-30 1541 2/0:09 cool, medium, food after
2022-06-30 1916 2/0:12.38 cool, medium-hard, nap after
2022-07-01 0746 long warm 4/unk cool, dissociated, food after
2022-07-01 1639 2/unk cool, easy-medium, food after
2022-07-01 1839 2/0:11.7 cool, easy-medium, food after
2022-07-01 1916 2/0:10.57 cool, easy-medium, nap after
2022-07-02 0134 2/unk cool, easy-medium, held pee I can get flustered. I hit my head [again], hoping hard not to repeat, and again failed to properly use the timer. But it's really inspiring to be succeeding again. I'm waiting to return to previous environment before raising time. Since the inhibitions could associate differently. Setting a strong baseline, is the hope atm.
On Sat, Jul 2, 2022, 1:36 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Fri, Jul 1, 2022, 7:17 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Fri, Jul 1, 2022, 6:40 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Fri, Jul 1, 2022, 4:39 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Fri, Jul 1, 2022, 7:46 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Thu, Jun 30, 2022, 7:17 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Thu, Jun 30, 2022, 3:43 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
> > > On Thu, Jun 30, 2022, 11:11 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One > Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: > >> >> >> On Thu, Jun 30, 2022, 10:20 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One >> Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >> >>> >>> >>> On Wed, Jun 29, 2022, 7:52 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One >>> Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>> >>>> >>>> >>>> On Wed, Jun 29, 2022, 1:51 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One >>>> Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> On Tue, Jun 28, 2022, 5:11 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One >>>>> Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> On Tue, Jun 28, 2022, 10:30 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One >>>>>> Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> On Mon, Jun 27, 2022, 5:39 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One >>>>>>> Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> On Mon, Jun 27, 2022, 11:40 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, >>>>>>>> One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> On 6/26/22, Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many >>>>>>>>> <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>>>>>>>> > On Sun, Jun 26, 2022, 8:56 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, >>>>>>>>> One Victim of >>>>>>>>> > Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>>>>>>>> > >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging >>>>>>>>> publicly to the >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> list >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> again. >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> i >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> started >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> by just logging time spent on >>>>>>>>> planning and >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> thinking about >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> it. >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> after >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> two attempts i was able to do >>>>>>>>> it rather than >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> think >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> about >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> it, with >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> effort. >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 >>>>>>>>> seconds cold water >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> after warm >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> water, >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> hard >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 >>>>>>>>> seconds warm, 10 >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> seconds cold. >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> easy. >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> food after. >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 >>>>>>>>> cold with food >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food >>>>>>>>> easy >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food >>>>>>>>> after medium-easy >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food >>>>>>>>> after medium-easy >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c >>>>>>>>> food after >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> medium-easy >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food >>>>>>>>> after medium-hard >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> 2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food >>>>>>>>> after medium-hard >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> > 2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with >>>>>>>>> food >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food >>>>>>>>> after, medium-easy >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, >>>>>>>>> medium-easy, >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> outdoors >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, >>>>>>>>> irrational state >>>>>>>>> >> of >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> mind, >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>> indoors >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-16 1502 69F 20/1:25cold 68F food >>>>>>>>> after, easy, >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>> indoors >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>> 2022-06-17 1051 21/1:04cold 67.4F food >>>>>>>>> after, medium-easy, >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> indoors >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-17 1929 unk warm, 22/1:20 cold, >>>>>>>>> 58.8F, food after, >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>> medium, >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>> indoors >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >> 2022-06-18 0921 53.7F 22/1:12 cold with food >>>>>>>>> medium-hard >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> > 2022-06-18 1653 53.7F 22/1:20 cold with hot >>>>>>>>> food medium >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> 2022-06-19 0736 56.4F 12/:30 cold + 22/1:15 cold >>>>>>>>> with warm food, >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> medium-hard >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> 2022-06-20 0547 61.7F 22/1:36 with food and sugar >>>>>>>>> cookie, hard to >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> start, medium to do >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>> 2022-06-20 2029 22/1:23 65.3F with warmish food, >>>>>>>>> medium-hard >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>> 2022-06-21 0942 23/1:35 65.4F with warm food, sugar >>>>>>>>> cookie, and >>>>>>>>> >> >>>> nutritional yeast, medium >>>>>>>>> >> >>>> >>>>>>>>> >> >>> 2022-06-22 1845 long warm + 30/2:30 cool 61.7F >>>>>>>>> hard-easy, food after >>>>>>>>> >> >>> >>>>>>>>> >> >> 2022-06-24 0959 2:30 cool medium-easy with sugar >>>>>>>>> cookie, food after >>>>>>>>> >> >> >>>>>>>>> >> > 2022-06-25 1501 24/unk cool then long warm then 24/unk >>>>>>>>> cool >>>>>>>>> >> 2022-06-26 25/1:19 cool, medium-hard >>>>>>>>> > >>>>>>>>> > >>>>>>>>> > 2022-06-26 1940 24/1:20 63.1F with food, medium-hard >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-27 1137 food w/out cold water >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06--27 1738 1/0:13 53.6F hard >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-28 1028 warm then a little cool for total of 3 mins >>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-28 1710 2/0:07 cool, food after, held pee >>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-29 1350 2/0:05 cool, food after, hard >>>>> >>>> 2022-06-29 1950 2/0:07 cool, food after, medium >>>> >>> 2022-06-30 1019 2/0:11 cool, medium-easy, food after >>> >> 2022-06-30 11;10 2/10.7 cool, medium-easy, no food, nap after >> > 2022-06-30 1541 2/0:09 cool, medium, food after > 2022-06-30 1916 2/0:12.38 cool, medium-hard, nap after
2022-07-01 0746 long warm 4/unk cool, dissociated, food after
2022-07-01 1639 2/unk cool, easy-medium, food after
2022-07-01 1839 2/0:11.7 cool, easy-medium, food after
2022-07-01 1916 2/0:10.57 cool, easy-medium, nap after
2022-07-02 0134 2/unk cool, easy-medium, held pee
2022-07-02 0407 2/0:17 cool A few seconds late on the timer. Worrying some about the clogged quotes above.
>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> On Mon, Jun 27, 2022, 11:40 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, >>>>>>>>> One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>> On 6/26/22, Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many >>>>>>>>>> <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>>>>>>>>> > On Sun, Jun 26, 2022, 8:56 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, >>>>>>>>>> One Victim of >>>>>>>>>> > Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: >>>>>>>>>> > >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started >>>>>>>>>> logging publicly to the >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> list >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> again. >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> i >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> started >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> by just logging time spent on >>>>>>>>>> planning and >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> thinking about >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> it. >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> after >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> two attempts i was able to do >>>>>>>>>> it rather than >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> think >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> about >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> it, with >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> effort. >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 >>>>>>>>>> seconds cold water >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> after warm >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> water, >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> hard >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 >>>>>>>>>> seconds warm, 10 >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> seconds cold. >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> easy. >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> food after. >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 >>>>>>>>>> cold with food >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c >>>>>>>>>> food easy >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food >>>>>>>>>> after medium-easy >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food >>>>>>>>>> after medium-easy >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c >>>>>>>>>> food after >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> medium-easy >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>> >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food >>>>>>>>>> after medium-hard >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> 2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food >>>>>>>>>> after medium-hard >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> > 2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with >>>>>>>>>> food >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food >>>>>>>>>> after, medium-easy >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food >>>>>>>>>> after, medium-easy, >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> outdoors >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, >>>>>>>>>> irrational state >>>>>>>>>> >> of >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> mind, >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>> indoors >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-16 1502 69F 20/1:25cold 68F food >>>>>>>>>> after, easy, >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>> indoors >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>> 2022-06-17 1051 21/1:04cold 67.4F food >>>>>>>>>> after, medium-easy, >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> indoors >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>> >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-17 1929 unk warm, 22/1:20 cold, >>>>>>>>>> 58.8F, food after, >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>> medium, >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>> indoors >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>> >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >> 2022-06-18 0921 53.7F 22/1:12 cold with food >>>>>>>>>> medium-hard >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> > 2022-06-18 1653 53.7F 22/1:20 cold with hot >>>>>>>>>> food medium >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> 2022-06-19 0736 56.4F 12/:30 cold + 22/1:15 cold >>>>>>>>>> with warm food, >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> medium-hard >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>> >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>> >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> 2022-06-20 0547 61.7F 22/1:36 with food and >>>>>>>>>> sugar cookie, hard to >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> start, medium to do >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>> >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>> 2022-06-20 2029 22/1:23 65.3F with warmish food, >>>>>>>>>> medium-hard >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>>> >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>> 2022-06-21 0942 23/1:35 65.4F with warm food, sugar >>>>>>>>>> cookie, and >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>> nutritional yeast, medium >>>>>>>>>> >> >>>> >>>>>>>>>> >> >>> 2022-06-22 1845 long warm + 30/2:30 cool 61.7F >>>>>>>>>> hard-easy, food after >>>>>>>>>> >> >>> >>>>>>>>>> >> >> 2022-06-24 0959 2:30 cool medium-easy with sugar >>>>>>>>>> cookie, food after >>>>>>>>>> >> >> >>>>>>>>>> >> > 2022-06-25 1501 24/unk cool then long warm then 24/unk >>>>>>>>>> cool >>>>>>>>>> >> 2022-06-26 25/1:19 cool, medium-hard >>>>>>>>>> > >>>>>>>>>> > >>>>>>>>>> > 2022-06-26 1940 24/1:20 63.1F with food, medium-hard >>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>> 2022-06-27 1137 food w/out cold water >>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>> 2022-06--27 1738 1/0:13 53.6F hard >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-28 1028 warm then a little cool for total of 3 mins >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-28 1710 2/0:07 cool, food after, held pee >>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-29 1350 2/0:05 cool, food after, hard >>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-29 1950 2/0:07 cool, food after, medium >>>>> >>>> 2022-06-30 1019 2/0:11 cool, medium-easy, food after >>>> >>> 2022-06-30 11;10 2/10.7 cool, medium-easy, no food, nap after >>> >> 2022-06-30 1541 2/0:09 cool, medium, food after >> > 2022-06-30 1916 2/0:12.38 cool, medium-hard, nap after > 2022-07-01 0746 long warm 4/unk cool, dissociated, food after
2022-07-01 1639 2/unk cool, easy-medium, food after
2022-07-01 1839 2/0:11.7 cool, easy-medium, food after
2022-07-01 1916 2/0:10.57 cool, easy-medium, nap after
2022-07-02 0134 2/unk cool, easy-medium, held pee
2022-07-02 0407 2/0:17 cool
2022-07-02 0847 long warm short cool, easy/easy-medium, food after I wanted to shower for more than 10 seconds and started warm and slowly tuned it cold without timing. This is how i did cold water many years ago, and it was pleasant to be able to do it again in some way.
Quotes trimmed through Jul 2, 2022, 8:49 AM 2022-07-02 1417 2/0:10.7 cool, medium, food after Back in environment where inhibition developed. Enjoying eating food again.
Quotes trimmed through Jul 2, 2022, 8:49 AM
2022-07-02 1417 2/0:10.7 cool, medium, food after
2022-07-02 1604 2/0:11.56 67.1F easy-medium, food after
I've begun cooling the water again.
Quotes trimmed through Jul 2, 2022, 8:49 AM 2022-07-02 1417 2/0:10.7 cool, medium, food after 2022-07-02 1604 2/0:11.56 67.1F easy-medium, food after 2022-07-02 1756 2/0:16.20 64.4F medium, food after
Quotes trimmed through Jul 2, 2022, 8:49 AM 2022-07-02 1417 2/0:10.7 cool, medium, food after 2022-07-02 1604 2/0:11.56 67.1F easy-medium, food after 2022-07-02 1756 2/0:16.20 64.4F medium, food after 2022-07-03 0853 2/0:15.63 62F hard, with sugar cookie, nap after The whole room is chilly from just a trickle of water running to cool it.
Quotes trimmed through Jul 2, 2022, 8:49 AM 2022-07-02 1417 2/0:10.7 cool, medium, food after 2022-07-02 1604 2/0:11.56 67.1F easy-medium, food after 2022-07-02 1756 2/0:16.20 64.4F medium, food after 2022-07-03 0853 2/0:15.63 62F hard, with sugar cookie, nap after 2022-07-03 1422 2/0:11.29 54.8F medium, food after
Quotes trimmed through Jul 2, 2022, 8:49 AM 2022-07-02 1417 2/0:10.7 cool, medium, food after 2022-07-02 1604 2/0:11.56 67.1F easy-medium, food after 2022-07-02 1756 2/0:16.20 64.4F medium, food after 2022-07-03 0853 2/0:15.63 62F hard, with sugar cookie, nap after 2022-07-03 1422 2/0:11.29 54.8F medium, food after 2022-07-03 1836 long warm then 2/unk at around 53F, easy, food after Warm before makes it much easier. Ten seconds of cold water quite pleasant, a little invigorating finally again.
The list doesn't needs to hear about your personal inane golden shower foodie masturbation fetish anymore.
On Sun, Jul 3, 2022, 7:30 PM grarpamp <grarpamp@gmail.com> wrote:
The list doesn't needs to hear about your personal inane golden shower foodie masturbation fetish anymore.
There's no anymore about it. The list does not need to hear about it at all. I plan to keep sending it, and I appreciate your feedback. What's it like receiving it? Can i infer there's an issue with filtering it like other spam?
Quotes trimmed through Jul 2, 2022, 8:49 AM 2022-07-02 1417 2/0:10.7 cool, medium, food after 2022-07-02 1604 2/0:11.56 67.1F easy-medium, food after 2022-07-02 1756 2/0:16.20 64.4F medium, food after 2022-07-03 0853 2/0:15.63 62F hard, with sugar cookie, nap after 2022-07-03 1422 2/0:11.29 54.8F medium, food after 2022-07-03 1836 long warm then 2/unk at around 53F, easy, food after 2022-07-04 0728 3/0:23.74 60.9F medium-easy, two chocolates, with food Getting ice cream headache again. Good stuff.
Quotes trimmed through Jul 2, 2022, 8:49 AM 2022-07-02 1417 2/0:10.7 cool, medium, food after 2022-07-02 1604 2/0:11.56 67.1F easy-medium, food after 2022-07-02 1756 2/0:16.20 64.4F medium, food after 2022-07-03 0853 2/0:15.63 62F hard, with sugar cookie, nap after 2022-07-03 1422 2/0:11.29 54.8F medium, food after 2022-07-03 1836 long warm then 2/unk at around 53F, easy, food after 2022-07-04 0728 3/0:23.74 60.9F medium-easy, two chocolates, with food 2022-07-04 0914 3/0:18.76 60.9F medium-easy, one chocolate, with food Will attempt to cool water more. I got a bag of chocolate almonds for some reason, and found I ate a few when I intended to only eat one. Seems like the trait to connect with a difficult task. Usually ive been trying to only eat chocolate outdoors, but i was getting a different kind to encourage that.
Quotes trimmed through Jul 2, 2022, 8:49 AM 2022-07-02 1417 2/0:10.7 cool, medium, food after 2022-07-02 1604 2/0:11.56 67.1F easy-medium, food after 2022-07-02 1756 2/0:16.20 64.4F medium, food after 2022-07-03 0853 2/0:15.63 62F hard, with sugar cookie, nap after 2022-07-03 1422 2/0:11.29 54.8F medium, food after 2022-07-03 1836 long warm then 2/unk at around 53F, easy, food after 2022-07-04 0728 3/0:23.74 60.9F medium-easy, two chocolates, with food 2022-07-04 0914 3/0:18.76 60.9F medium-easy, one chocolate, with food 2022-07-04 1117 3/0:16 57.2F medium-easy, with food, one chocolate after
Quotes trimmed through Jul 2, 2022, 8:49 AM 2022-07-02 1417 2/0:10.7 cool, medium, food after 2022-07-02 1604 2/0:11.56 67.1F easy-medium, food after 2022-07-02 1756 2/0:16.20 64.4F medium, food after 2022-07-03 0853 2/0:15.63 62F hard, with sugar cookie, nap after 2022-07-03 1422 2/0:11.29 54.8F medium, food after 2022-07-03 1836 long warm then 2/unk at around 53F, easy, food after 2022-07-04 0728 3/0:23.74 60.9F medium-easy, two chocolates, with food 2022-07-04 0914 3/0:18.76 60.9F medium-easy, one chocolate, with food 2022-07-04 1117 3/0:16 57.2F medium-easy, with food, one chocolate after 2022-07-05 0656 3/0:20.20 58.1F medium, two chocolates, food after
Quotes trimmed through Jul 2, 2022, 8:49 AM 2022-07-02 1417 2/0:10.7 cool, medium, food after 2022-07-02 1604 2/0:11.56 67.1F easy-medium, food after 2022-07-02 1756 2/0:16.20 64.4F medium, food after 2022-07-03 0853 2/0:15.63 62F hard, with sugar cookie, nap after 2022-07-03 1422 2/0:11.29 54.8F medium, food after 2022-07-03 1836 long warm then 2/unk at around 53F, easy, food after 2022-07-04 0728 3/0:23.74 60.9F medium-easy, two chocolates, with food 2022-07-04 0914 3/0:18.76 60.9F medium-easy, one chocolate, with food 2022-07-04 1117 3/0:16 57.2F medium-easy, with food, one chocolate after 2022-07-05 0656 3/0:20.20 58.1F medium, two chocolates, food after 2022-07-06 1444 unk warm then 4/0:25.76 58.6F medium, food after Counted longer since it is so much easier when preceded by warm water.
On Tue, Jul 5, 2022, 2:45 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
Quotes trimmed through Jul 2, 2022, 8:49 AM
2022-07-02 1417 2/0:10.7 cool, medium, food after 2022-07-02 1604 2/0:11.56 67.1F easy-medium, food after 2022-07-02 1756 2/0:16.20 64.4F medium, food after 2022-07-03 0853 2/0:15.63 62F hard, with sugar cookie, nap after 2022-07-03 1422 2/0:11.29 54.8F medium, food after 2022-07-03 1836 long warm then 2/unk at around 53F, easy, food after 2022-07-04 0728 3/0:23.74 60.9F medium-easy, two chocolates, with food 2022-07-04 0914 3/0:18.76 60.9F medium-easy, one chocolate, with food 2022-07-04 1117 3/0:16 57.2F medium-easy, with food, one chocolate after 2022-07-05 0656 3/0:20.20 58.1F medium, two chocolates, food after
Entry from this morning missing, maybe did not send
2022-07-06 1444 unk warm then 4/0:25.76 58.6F medium, food after
Counted longer since it is so much easier when preceded by warm water.
Quotes trimmed through Jul 2, 2022, 8:49 AM 2022-07-02 1417 2/0:10.7 cool, medium, food after 2022-07-02 1604 2/0:11.56 67.1F easy-medium, food after 2022-07-02 1756 2/0:16.20 64.4F medium, food after 2022-07-03 0853 2/0:15.63 62F hard, with sugar cookie, nap after 2022-07-03 1422 2/0:11.29 54.8F medium, food after 2022-07-03 1836 long warm then 2/unk at around 53F, easy, food after 2022-07-04 0728 3/0:23.74 60.9F medium-easy, two chocolates, with food 2022-07-04 0914 3/0:18.76 60.9F medium-easy, one chocolate, with food 2022-07-04 1117 3/0:16 57.2F medium-easy, with food, one chocolate after 2022-07-05 0656 3/0:20.20 58.1F medium, two chocolates, food after 2022-07-06 lost morning entry 2022-07-06 1444 unk warm then 4/0:25.76 58.6F medium, food after 2022-07-06 2051 3/0:18.78 59.5F medium-easy, held pee, sleep after Water felt pretty cold but thermometer said it was warmer. Might have placed thermometer wrongly, or might have become used to a warm day.
Quotes trimmed through Jul 2, 2022, 8:49 AM 2022-07-02 1417 2/0:10.7 cool, medium, food after 2022-07-02 1604 2/0:11.56 67.1F easy-medium, food after 2022-07-02 1756 2/0:16.20 64.4F medium, food after 2022-07-03 0853 2/0:15.63 62F hard, with sugar cookie, nap after 2022-07-03 1422 2/0:11.29 54.8F medium, food after 2022-07-03 1836 long warm then 2/unk at around 53F, easy, food after 2022-07-04 0728 3/0:23.74 60.9F medium-easy, two chocolates, with food 2022-07-04 0914 3/0:18.76 60.9F medium-easy, one chocolate, with food 2022-07-04 1117 3/0:16 57.2F medium-easy, with food, one chocolate after 2022-07-05 0656 3/0:20.20 58.1F medium, two chocolates, food after 2022-07-05 1444 unk warm then 4/0:25.76 58.6F medium, food after 2022-07-05 2051 3/0:18.78 59.5F medium-easy, held pee, sleep after 2022-07-06 40:22.68 59.5F medium-easy, one chocolate, food after
Quotes trimmed through Jul 2, 2022, 8:49 AM 2022-07-02 1417 2/0:10.7 cool, medium, food after 2022-07-02 1604 2/0:11.56 67.1F easy-medium, food after 2022-07-02 1756 2/0:16.20 64.4F medium, food after 2022-07-03 0853 2/0:15.63 62F hard, with sugar cookie, nap after 2022-07-03 1422 2/0:11.29 54.8F medium, food after 2022-07-03 1836 long warm then 2/unk at around 53F, easy, food after 2022-07-04 0728 3/0:23.74 60.9F medium-easy, two chocolates, with food 2022-07-04 0914 3/0:18.76 60.9F medium-easy, one chocolate, with food 2022-07-04 1117 3/0:16 57.2F medium-easy, with food, one chocolate after 2022-07-05 0656 3/0:20.20 58.1F medium, two chocolates, food after 2022-07-05 1444 unk warm then 4/0:25.76 58.6F medium, food after 2022-07-05 2051 3/0:18.78 59.5F medium-easy, held pee, sleep after 2022-07-06 4/0:22.68 59.5F medium-easy, one chocolate, food after 2022-07-06 1317 4/0:21.94 59.5F medium-easy, one chocolate, food after It's cool the temperature appears as if it's holding at 59.5F . I leave a thermometer under a trickle of water, and it tends to roll away a little and rise to around 60.1 . I've been rolling it back, and it drops to around 59.5 during the time I do this. I was somewhat thirsty and that seemed to make the cool water more gratifying.
Quotes trimmed through Jul 2, 2022, 8:49 AM 2022-07-02 1417 2/0:10.7 cool, medium, food after 2022-07-02 1604 2/0:11.56 67.1F easy-medium, food after 2022-07-02 1756 2/0:16.20 64.4F medium, food after 2022-07-03 0853 2/0:15.63 62F hard, with sugar cookie, nap after 2022-07-03 1422 2/0:11.29 54.8F medium, food after 2022-07-03 1836 long warm then 2/unk at around 53F, easy, food after 2022-07-04 0728 3/0:23.74 60.9F medium-easy, two chocolates, with food 2022-07-04 0914 3/0:18.76 60.9F medium-easy, one chocolate, with food 2022-07-04 1117 3/0:16 57.2F medium-easy, with food, one chocolate after 2022-07-05 0656 3/0:20.20 58.1F medium, two chocolates, food after 2022-07-05 1444 unk warm then 4/0:25.76 58.6F medium, food after 2022-07-05 2051 3/0:18.78 59.5F medium-easy, held pee, sleep after 2022-07-06 4/0:22.68 59.5F medium-easy, one chocolate, food after 2022-07-06 1317 4/0:21.94 59.5F medium-easy, one chocolate, food after 2022-07-06 1554 4/0:18.27 59.1F medium, with food Seemed harder without the chocolate, although I also had an inhibiting thought by accident. I waited longer before reading the temperature and it is lower.
Quotes trimmed through Jul 2, 2022, 8:49 AM 2022-07-02 1417 2/0:10.7 cool, medium, food after 2022-07-02 1604 2/0:11.56 67.1F easy-medium, food after 2022-07-02 1756 2/0:16.20 64.4F medium, food after 2022-07-03 0853 2/0:15.63 62F hard, with sugar cookie, nap after 2022-07-03 1422 2/0:11.29 54.8F medium, food after 2022-07-03 1836 long warm then 2/unk at around 53F, easy, food after 2022-07-04 0728 3/0:23.74 60.9F medium-easy, two chocolates, with food 2022-07-04 0914 3/0:18.76 60.9F medium-easy, one chocolate, with food 2022-07-04 1117 3/0:16 57.2F medium-easy, with food, one chocolate after 2022-07-05 0656 3/0:20.20 58.1F medium, two chocolates, food after 2022-07-05 1444 unk warm then 4/0:25.76 58.6F medium, food after 2022-07-05 2051 3/0:18.78 59.5F medium-easy, held pee, sleep after 2022-07-06 4/0:22.68 59.5F medium-easy, one chocolate, food after 2022-07-06 1317 4/0:21.94 59.5F medium-easy, one chocolate, food after 2022-07-06 1554 4/0:18.27 59.1F medium, with food 2022-07-07 0855 unk warm then 5/0:23.66 54.1F, food after, hard-easy The temp is likely lower because the thermometer had longer time. After warm water, it was pleasant to have cold water, but i kept it to only a count of 5 because of how the inhibition experiences might respond to my choices.
<3 4/0:17.83 53.7F
4/0:17.86 40-50F
4/0:unk 50-62F
4/0:unk unkF outd
4/0:22.55 60.9F outd
4/0:22.93 56-59F outd
1:53.66 outd
4/0:20-0:30 warm fr sun
4/0:21.91 57-64F outd
I've spent most of the day today outdoors, a quiet rare event this year. I have an extension cable to my truck here, so as to ease electricity in and from it. This cable was disconnected by builders doing work today. I'm told it will be reconnectable in a few days after the work is done. This coincidence is unfortunate as my computer addiction helps me stay places now. But it is small compared to the inhibitions present anyway. Just logging the coincidence.
5/0:unk outd
failed to write this morning which was around 6a 6/0:31.52 64.7F outd one of the recent ones was in heavy rain which is different
6/0:35ish 63.1F outd reason: inhibition around tree graph code, prior to considering pursuing recreational behavior instead of work
8/0:38.72
8/0:37.57
6/0:43.11
7/0:51.24
8/1:04.56 outd
8/1:05.63 outd
10/0:58.03
12/1:19.09 outd
it looks like a 12/1: may have been lost during my phone reflashing 7/0:49.89
10/unk i recently tried to add a <3:00 here, not certain why it's not shown as latest, maybe ended up somewhere else or happened prior to something i forgot
<3:00 outd
8/0:53.19 outd Thinking of adding notes again.
we came up with a likely-better, more concise name: "groomed for male slavery" the use of the human-trafficking "groomed" word, and the rareness of the pairing of "male slavery" helps increase the pressure could add "undiscussed" to it
trying it out! [it seems the pressure is pretty dissociated from here though?]
discovered this thought, rare to access: - a human trafficker is trying to stop this lifeform from sharing indication that they are participating in slavery. they likely experience strong pressure from their slavery community to cover such things up and harm people like me. this results in the weird experiences of mine in the larger world.
just a thought, for other thoughts at other times
8/0:42.78 outdoors, colder than usual, with chocolate, food afterward temp makes big difference
10/1:00.37 outd not too cold Both of the thermometers I got broke. I haven't looked into fixing them :( but a pool thermometer built to stay outdoors in the water is in the mail.
12/1:04.66 outdoors [It felt like I just badly needed to do this. I may do it more in the near future. I was so hot, I was melting frozen packs. It was hard to get outdoors to the cold water but a big relief.]
14/0:58
7.5/38.83 + outdoors, cold
?/1:03.99 medium cold, didn't focus on my head as much which made it easier
1:38.76 not too cold delay before noting up to an hour
8/0:34+ outd I had left the water on by accident and it was cold. I got the invigorating feeling again after :) very long time for that
20?/1:20.40 not too cold, with chocolate, food after. let water run some to reduce temp.
132/1:06.81 outdoors, water colder, with half a sugar bar, food after There are a lot of these sugar bars kicking around, nobody seems to eat them, thinking of dropping the size below half, I spent almost the whole minute eating it.
think I missed some not sure 12/0:59.80 coldish food after strangely far more cold on my head where I practice
book notes chapter 1: missionary: - it starts with the breathe. at birth wim hof was going to die and his mother willed him to live, promising to god she would make him a missionary. he was blue from deoxygenation and cold, and breathed. as a child, loved sleeping outside in the snow, even though he risked death with hypothermia. he had to resist this love to stay alive. - also experienced severe infection from a bullying experience, and was outdoors a lot very active, became vegetarian, had to learn to be himself as he felt he was different next chapter 2: ice-man - describes developing physical strength having a job delivering newspapers on a bicycle in all weather, suddenly beat professional cyclists in contests. developed empowering disciplined exercise routine (waking up at 3:30a, and immediately do 50 pushups, then bike route ...). beauty of solitude and nature on the bike route, and how the peaceful,physical- task-oriented time alone helps one understand one's self. - went on thousands-miles bike trip with brother through cold rain and snow. shift in experience of eating when deep outdoors on one's own. engagement of feelings when physically involved in locomotion. - a wim hof goal is to help others understand these feelings of connection the human can experience "You are Tarzan. You are Jane. You are a king. You are a queen." Describes imaginary corona placed on king's head, as an aura that surrounds one, radiating. Stand with power, for nature coronates everyone. Describes how connected better with others and himself over time. - joined with biker who biked half year to africa. took larger challenges, describes finding powerful areas inside one's self. "we all have this" "you become aware of your own being". "the mind and nature are one" "waking up and feeling differently than always" "for the three weeks that followed, i remained in that transcendent state" - squatting was normal in the netherlands. property was valuable so it was used. you had to pay for your own utilities. - one day he just decided to relax in a frozen over pond, felt great, no danger experienced. duration; time seemed like 1:00-1;30 [note: my personal experience with these natural experiences is that they tend to feel shorter than they actually are] - repeated this after a few days, same experience. breathing came from how he noticed himself gasping when submerging. 25 deep breaths. - with practice breathing, would go five minutes without needing to breathe, and would swim in frozen water, every day of winter for 25 years. feeling great in freezing outdoors in nothing but shorts. next chapter 3: cold showers
book notes
- one day he just decided to relax in a frozen over pond, felt great,
no danger experienced. duration; time seemed like 1:00-1;30 [note: my personal experience with these natural experiences is that they tend to feel shorter than they actually are]
left out: the opposite is true to. they can feel much longer than they actually are. chapter 3: cold showers - in your soul you know you are capable of anything you seek - trusting that heat is unnecessary yielded strong intuition and judgement. Civilized to Death, a book by Chris Ryan. - cold works the vascular system. we have vascular diseases from not doing this. the human vascular system is 62k miles long, 2.5x the length of the planet, and is surrounded by millions of small muscles that regulate our temperature via it. core temperature: - normal: 98.6 degrees F - hypothermic state: 95.6-96.6 degrees F - deadly loss of homeostasis: below 95.6 degrees F - wearing clothes and using fire weaken our vascular muscles from disuse. wim hof says this puts burden on our heart to take more responsibility for our blood pressure, stimulating cardiovascular illness. - a daily cold shower gives the vascular muscles exercise, deterring these illnesses, although you won't hear a pharmaceutical corporation recommend it, as it isn't a drug. - at first cold water is a shock and one may gasp even repeatedly, but over time one comes to crave it, the more often cold showers are taken. - when society gives no answers, nature does. wim hof found cold water and vascular fitness. - 10 days of cold showers: heart rate reduces by 15-30 bpm, day and night. wim hof says this reduces harmful stress to your body by reducing unneeded release of adrenaline and cortisol, and hence you have more capacity for normal stresses of life such as workplace or travel disputes. - after training in cold, then yoga in the snow without shirt or shoes. adaptation to snow cold within 15 minutes. our human nature is to have a fit vascular system and be happy without warm clothes in the snow, after 15 minutes. our lack of exposure to cold prevents us from reaching this nature. - 10 days of a minute or two of cold water after a warm shower: conscious ability to contract vascular muscles when exposed to the cold. Beginner Protocol - prepare body for less shock when going into ice water - 30 seconds of cold water at the end of a warm or hot shower, is easy, although it can be discomfortable at first - the repetition works the vascular muscles: closing and opening - start with 15 seconds for a week, then 30 seconds or more after vascular muscle tone has improved - with improved tone, better blood flow throughout the day gives more energy - after 30 seconds, you can feel the conscious connection with your gasp and shiver reflexes. [ed note: these may be part of relation with vascular system. vascular muscle is smooth muscle, so we do not usually consciously feel it directly.] Week 1: 30 seconds cold after warm Week 2: 1:00 cold after warm Week 3: 1:30 cold after warm Week 4: 2:00 cold after warm - do gradually and slowly, at least five days a week. following the feeling, don't force, fine to start with 15 seconds and do it slower, see 20 day challenge. - first benefits begin at 60 deg F, so cold tap water is cold enough to start off. - as vascular system strengthens, shock of cold reduces. tangibly feel more energized, strong, healthy, throughout the day. - after 4th week 2:00, your mind becomes stronger than the cold. there will be no shock if you will there to not be, engaging your vascular muscles in preparation. you find you can engage this over different areas of your body and direct it. starting just with a short bit of cold water. - prehistorically, we needed our vascular system to do this, to protect our heart, lungs, brain. imagine an ancient human venturing deep into a cold cave or other area with no modern gear. we get sick if our vascular system is disused. our vascular system is like our immune system, keeping us healthy if we keep it healthy. otherwise, we need coats and antibiotics. - cold showers and a toned vascular system give a deep healthy peace. the cold gives information on one's own wellbeing, rather than conflict. - take these things as a mantra for the discomfort of cold showers: that it will give you a lot more energy. that it will reduce your heart rate. that it will let your cells get the oxygen and nutrients they need. wim hof keeps this mantra after 43 years. you will feel amazing. - after 10 days you'll be addicted to cold showers because it feels so good afterward. your deeper parts open up because the water is freezing. - the cold is the teacher, and you learn to control your stress, in all sorts of situations, after only 10 days. - a minute or two, tops, then can increase after 10 days - can reach meditative state - wim hof participated in 2018 muzik and diwadkar, relating exposure to cold water with brain activity and skin temperature. wim hof's skin temperature did not reduce as the other subjects did. Getting Warm - brown fat tissue and intercostal respiration muscles can be activated to warm the body - sit down - inhale slowly + deeply 5-6 times, exhaling naturally - inhale fully - relax to exhale - inhale fully - hold the breath for 5 seconds at most - tense the upper back muscles and chest while holding the breath, but not the head nor the jaw - let go - everybody is different, but with practice, one feels the heat coming - wim hof did this to prevent measured temperature loss - wim hof had always found ways to warm himself instinctively, but when being scientifically scanned he was asked not to do his breathing exercises. with inner searching and remembering, after a day of failure, he found he could consciously engage his body warmth with only his mind, and this was measured. his skin temperature was a degree warmer than normal during the experiment. the scans showed him activating rare parts of his brain, usually engaged with pharmaceuticals. - be competitive: learn to regulate your state - a story is told about the hiding of the soul. wherever it is hidden, people travel to win to it. so, it is within us. one can become very powerful accessing it, and must use this power for good. - completely free way to engage depression, illness, fear, that society is ignoring, intended by nature. we can control far more of our mind and body than we are, with only 10 days of cold showers. - where our mind goes, blood flows. it can be very hard to do things when one isn't engaged for them. it doesn't have to be that way. - when you learn to engage these deeper parts of your brain, when you do so you'll feel no cold, no stress, but rather warm and great. - more studies on this are happening. - wim hof lost his wife of 4 children to suicide in 95, despite pharmacology. development of his technique shows healing modalities can grow. - what does a happy person need? nothing, because they are happy. become happy with us. - cold is merciless and righteous, and makes us strong, and returns us to our best condition. it tackles cardiovascular disease, depression, chronic pain, and inflammation. - a minute or two of cold shower per day Ice Water Bath for Warmer Hands or Feet - fill a bucket 1/3rd ice, 2/3rds water - focus on your hands and feet - place your hands or feet into the bucket - hold the hands or feet in the ice water for two minutes. at some point, they should feel warm in the water instead of cold. - remove your hands or feet, but keep focusing on them - shake them out several times to encourage blood flow into the activated areas - in response to cold shock, the vessels constrict, but they open when the temperature drops to 50 deg F, warming the area with blood flow. - people with cold hands or feet have poor vasoconstriction and dilation. - if you have cold hands or feet, do the exercise daily to strengthen these vein muscles. results begin after a couple days. Next chapter: Breathing
I just woke up from a long nap during which i processed some hard internal psychotic experiences I am still processing. My Gmail client now says 55 messages in this thread have been deleted. It gives me a button to view them. Each one says "this messages has been deleted" at the top when viewed. Im not at this time certain how to undelete them.
This message is also showing as deleted. I might be able to take this thread to authorities and researchers to secure my email! On Wed, Jun 15, 2022, 7:02 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
I just woke up from a long nap during which i processed some hard internal psychotic experiences I am still processing.
My Gmail client now says 55 messages in this thread have been deleted. It gives me a button to view them. Each one says "this messages has been deleted" at the top when viewed. Im not at this time certain how to undelete them.
I went into my trash and found the thread. I didn't see a button to move them out of the trash. In the drop-down menu I found "report spam" "report not spam". I hit "report not spam", and an android toast said "one message has been marked as not spam", and the entire thread moved out of my trash and back into my email. On Wed, Jun 15, 2022, 7:26 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
This message is also showing as deleted.
I might be able to take this thread to authorities and researchers to secure my email!
On Wed, Jun 15, 2022, 7:02 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
I just woke up from a long nap during which i processed some hard internal psychotic experiences I am still processing.
My Gmail client now says 55 messages in this thread have been deleted. It gives me a button to view them. Each one says "this messages has been deleted" at the top when viewed. Im not at this time certain how to undelete them.
I apologize for not recording this strange UI experience with my new and misbehaving phone. I have an obligation to record this phones misbehaviors. I have not met this obligation. After recording I should back it up, factory reset it, and if they continue identify an interaction with it that stimulates their onset.
On Wed, Jun 15, 2022, 7:31 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
I apologize for not recording this strange UI experience with my new and misbehaving phone.
I have an obligation to record this phones misbehaviors. I have not met this obligation. After recording I should back it up, factory reset it, and if they continue identify an interaction with it that stimulates their onset.
This phone inverted its colors on its own shortly after this during a text conversation about a failing system. It is now white on black. It is easier on the eyes but a surprise.
participants (13)
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coderman -
grarpamp -
k -
Karl Semich
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Karl Semich -
Punk-BatSoup-Stasi 2.0 -
Undiscussed Groomed for Male Slavery, One Victim of Many
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Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Past Victim of Many
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Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & Survivor of Many
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Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many
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Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, Victim & Survivor of
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Undiscussed Past Horrific Abuse, One Victim Of Many
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Victim of Undiscussed Horrifically Abusive Brainwashing