On Mon, Jun 27, 2022, 5:39 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:


On Mon, Jun 27, 2022, 11:40 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On 6/26/22, Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many
<gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
> On Sun, Jun 26, 2022, 8:56 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of
> Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to the
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> list
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> again.
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> i
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> started
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> by just logging time spent on planning and
>> >>>>>>> thinking about
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> it.
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> after
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> two attempts i was able to do it rather than
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> think
>> >>>>>>> about
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> it, with
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> effort.
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water
>> >>>>>>> after warm
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> water,
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> hard
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10
>> >>>>>>> seconds cold.
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> easy.
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> food after.
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after medium-easy
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-easy
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food after
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> medium-easy
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-hard
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> 2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after medium-hard
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> > 2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food after, medium-easy
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, medium-easy,
>> >>>>>>> outdoors
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, irrational state
>> of
>> >>>>>>> mind,
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>> indoors
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-16 1502 69F 20/1:25cold 68F food after, easy,
>> >>>>>>> >>>>> indoors
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>>> >>>> 2022-06-17 1051 21/1:04cold 67.4F food after, medium-easy,
>> >>>>>>> indoors
>> >>>>>>> >>>>
>> >>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-17 1929 unk warm, 22/1:20 cold, 58.8F, food after,
>> >>>>>>> >>> medium,
>> >>>>>>> >>> indoors
>> >>>>>>> >>>
>> >>>>>>> >> 2022-06-18 0921 53.7F 22/1:12 cold with food medium-hard
>> >>>>>>> >>
>> >>>>>>> > 2022-06-18 1653 53.7F 22/1:20 cold with hot food medium
>> >>>>>>>
>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-19 0736 56.4F 12/:30 cold + 22/1:15 cold with warm food,
>> >>>>>>> medium-hard
>> >>>>>>
>> >>>>>>
>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-20 0547 61.7F 22/1:36 with food and sugar cookie, hard to
>> >>>>>>> start, medium to do
>> >>>>>>
>> >>>>>> 2022-06-20 2029 22/1:23 65.3F with warmish food, medium-hard
>> >>>>>
>> >>>> 2022-06-21 0942 23/1:35 65.4F with warm food, sugar cookie, and
>> >>>> nutritional yeast, medium
>> >>>>
>> >>> 2022-06-22 1845 long warm + 30/2:30 cool 61.7F hard-easy, food after
>> >>>
>> >> 2022-06-24 0959 2:30 cool medium-easy with sugar cookie, food after
>> >>
>> > 2022-06-25 1501 24/unk cool then long warm then 24/unk cool
>> 2022-06-26 25/1:19 cool, medium-hard
>
>
> 2022-06-26 1940 24/1:20 63.1F with food, medium-hard

2022-06-27 1137 food w/out cold water

2022-06--27 1738 1/0:13 53.6F hard

2022-06-28 1028 warm then a little cool for total of 3 mins

was having big inhition and planning to stop eating. Figured I just needed to find a way. Planned to just be in cold water super briefly: seems better to find spaces the inhibitions are more okay with and grow them, than to challenge where is harder, when they are strong. Ended up doing longer. Keeping text below as reminder of how it helps pressure things.


did not pee until did this. water colder than expected. planned to just dart in and out but ended up doing 13 seconds. Happy to have done after missing.