[ot][fiction][crazy] Weird Bug Hotline

Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many gmkarl at gmail.com
Fri Jun 17 06:57:42 PDT 2022

Intern: "Weird Bug Hotline! What's your itch? Is it biting you now?"

Callee: "Hi, my phone reboots on its own sometimes, so of course I
disassembled the bootloader and added tracing code --"

Intern: "Of course!"

Callee: "and suddenly I started seeing lights, and I was walking on
the moon, and this huge creature with giant mandibles is threatening
me. It says I have to call you or it will eat me."

Intern: "OH, you've got a big one! Stay calm. Has it scratched you?
What kind of tracing code did you add to your phone's bootloader?"

Callee: "I did get a little scratched. The wound is oozing something
green. Basically, it turns out my phone uses a VM, so I had it log
each instruction it executed to a huge USB storage device."

Intern: "Oooh, an instruction log: that's great. We need those. Can
you ask the giant creature what it wants?"

Callee: "Sure!"

[a pause]

Callee: "It says that it will lay babies in you and take over your hive."

Intern: "Tell it it's too late, somebody already did that."

[another pause]

Callee: "It got embarrassed and left!  I'm back with my phone!  Thank
you, Weird Bug Hotline!"

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