maybeifigured a waytodo a little executive functioning/willpower i'll spam cypherpunks. thisletsbehaviors repeat! big strength! may not work 0749 i want to get up and resume traveling. yesterday i did notleavemy skeeping bag for my zoom appointment, ateonly during it, and --

we want to get up and resume traveling whether we or aid workers are being trafficked or not! we just need to do this!

yupyup! want to get up anddo things! yup! i have big patternaroubdwhether ileave where i am when wakingup, pathsare delicate

uh oh committee want toconsiderauthorisation

i think the dissociated part says that the influence expects me to have connected more with people at the conference. i did not connect with them in a normal manner (did not chat) and do not plan to further at this time. it found the link to the intelligence org. the people who asked for my notes gave me their card. they were do going good osint making impressive dense geocharts of traffickIng information properties across the world. [I ONLY HAVE 24 POSTS TO THIS LIST ALLOWED PER DAY]

On Fri, Dec 15, 2023 at 08:53 Undescribed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & Survivor of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:

i'm off :D happy to not cancel distant appointment

got to next state. pulled over from dissociative seizures. some story about the real world being too scary.

traffick boss whales on tvda / a boulder, striking them and complaining of how sinful and bad they are, saying he is god and the local law enforcement both 0544 a giant text adventure game jumps from clouds and — 0544 traffick boss explores the inside of a lock holy frack is internet dangerous 0545 holy frack 0545 0545 bagda bagda once upon 0545 0546 looking forward to resting at unknown point in future. thinking on, i wonder if there is some way to make rest more effective [in reducing bad things]? maybe repeating something positively influential to myself? a few days in future maybe. we have other rest midwix some maybe! 0548 2023-12-16 2023-12-16 2123 a post was not made due to being offline etc i'm doing better tonight,had a meal firsttime in days, spoke with family on phone

the written text adventure toolkit welcome to wtat where are you?

huh? what do you mean?

what is the starting room?

oh um let's call it room 1

you are in room 1. what is here? are there a[ny exits 2225 one could say one of the dawnings of this era would be that aidungeon was closed source and had absolutely no room graph i wonder what more there is now — 2228 i finally came up with a way to do transformers peer to peer recently but i don’t remember it. maybe i can come up with another. uhhhh ummmmm ideas: - squishing to one layer would increase parallelism - [oops brain issue wasn’t expecting brain issue here ! surprised. um. usually i try to continue and it watches me, placing triggers to make it hard to both continue and repeat. as i keep trying more avenues this gets more thorough. right now i’m on an old ipad. running a pretrained model would be slow, large, and power hungry one idea could be squishing a model to one layer, having many peers perform operations in parallel, and combine them. i think it is well-known that that doesn’t work here. transformer layers have a few combination points where all data is summed or such, i’ve noticed from looking at them. i suspect some of these are needed less than other for inference, don’t really know. maybe i can look at one and wonder about it more [some complaint maybe relates edited turn of phrase] 2234 i’m wondering if i could make progress on guessing how transformers work enough to consider symbolically swapping depth for width. 2234 i’m looking at hf llama source (2237) the device is functioning poorly and it is difficult to do (2238) looks like a llama layer is: x += attention(rmsnorm1(x)) x += mlp(rmsnorm2(x)) so one maybe could think of x as a sum of 3 values: its initial value, its self attention calculation, and its mlp calculation 2243 rmsnorm: mat * (x / sqrt(mean(x^2))) # i think it scales the data to have a stddev of 1, and then applies a constant linear transformation (mat) specific to the instance of the call mlp: down_mat(act_fn(gate_mat)) * up_mat(x) # gate_mat and up_mat perform dimension stretching via linear transforms whereas down_mat undoes the stretching via another. that is, they are rectangular matrices where down_mat has swapped dimensions so, act_fn here applies a nonlinearity, ie something threshold based, on a set of properties or metrics that are all linear combinations of x after attention, and the linearly recombines them together with x to create a value to sum into it. i’m wondering if one might consider this a vector of conditionals of simple arithmetic functions of x, which then add another simple arithmetic function into x for their instances that evaluate true. i’m thinking of the act_fn relu which i think looks like x = y > 0 ? y : 0 not sure. it might use a different act_fn. 225 :s some of us are holding things next to knowledge that the current pursuit could be solved in public research already with reasonable likelihood. there’s interest in heading off for the night, here we go 2259 —- 0643 that was so much fun the transformer poking! 0643 we’re scared of “multinational cartels”

we are busy being scared. this is what’s important to us at the moment. fear is an instinct that protects the universe from dying (according to the protein grimoire i read from when i quiver and quake) according to this protein grimoire, fear is very importsnt, and many many of our friends died because they didn’t do it just right. i could die because my community doesn’t know to scream and run. this is dangerous. don’t tell neurons. (this is not accurate! our — why are you looking at that ?? i don’t know what to do. we’re scared and something is doing the wrong thing and we aren’t screaming. ok um when your group doesn’t scream and run it’s a different kind of danger handling. —) ok we are scaed. calmly. i need some time to be scared right now thank you :) as far as i understand what you are doing is deadly! if —

[ some content removed with expression that groups need to take time to be scared right now. i valued the content. ] 0700 0714 i need to remember things !!, and i don’t! not anything in specific, anything at all from moment to moment. it sounds like it is terrifying to have a superior power mutate your own behavior in some way so as to pretend to fight it aggressively in front of its face, while actually helping it do horrible horrible things this is 8mportant! also it sounds like it is trying to protect us from a lot of the danger so as to more usefully use us to prepare itself for others fighting it

On Sun, Dec 17, 2023 at 07:19 Undescribed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & Survivor of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:

On Sun, Dec 17, 2023 at 07:16 Undescribed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & Survivor of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:

...

[ some content removed with expression that groups need to take time to be scared right now. i valued the content. ] 0700

0714 i need to remember things !!, and i don’t! not anything in specific, anything at all from moment to moment.

it sounds like it is terrifying to have a superior power mutate your own behavior in some way so as to pretend to fight it aggressively in front of its face, while actually helping it do horrible horrible things

this is 8mportant! also it sounds like it is trying to protect us from a lot of the danger so as to more usefully use us to prepare itself for others fighting it

we’re scared about how we change our most precious parts so as to not seem a danger to it, it seems to stimulate this. talking in public, if we get realistic, it coul

my device jiggered around a bit and the keyboard stopped working and then disappeared without apparent way to return, a surprise. it is back now.

On Sun, Dec 17, 2023 at 07:29 Undescribed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & Survivor of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:

traffick boss is wearing a party cap and a clown suit and riding a hippopotamus while trying to get his leg unstuck from a toilet bowl it is stuck in, and aiming a machine gun at the camera

he goes to 0730

[image: Text file] Copy of patch.txt <https://drive.google.com/file/d/1aNYvVR25lGIIYLthPqjMgVCTvwIb_VWr/view?usp=drivesdk> i thought a little on the idea of symbolically rearranging a transformer with goal of making it flatter, and other nearby bits, and i think what might be fun could be working on [part of] an expression walking system, like they use when compiling the models i have a shell here that can’t run torch, but if i’m making my own expression engine i could in theory make it a replacement for torch so torch isn’t needed, so that’s what i’m poking at a little now oh also i have things to do i am not yet doing atm 1314 - you can pass —no-deps to pip to ignore dependencies when installing. i’ve just installed huggingface transformers without torch this way (maybe it can be disabled without dunno) 1317 1405 i’ve shimmed torch and i’m at a point where i can start moving toward implementing tensor operators. i’ll try to save my work. 1406 1410 i’m not sure how to get git on this shell (a-Shell, iOS app) to run over the http proxy that lets me online. i’ve made a github repo. i’ll try to transfer the data to another shell. 1414 both shells are giving me “operation not permitted” trying to connect to ssh on local ip thinking of using clipboard or filesystem or photos 1415 1417 used filesystem. https://github.com/xloem/tensorexpr (humorousl 1417 — 1805, ran into some issues, patch of where things were when system powered off is attached

bipa bip 202-12-18 1601 :) 1916 trafficked puzzle puzzle tortured 1916 theft stealing of brain 1916 once once, upon early in the age of the dinosaurs 1916 there was a lego mindstorms walking robot controlled by an android phone running chatgpt, made by a rich kid there was no openai server, in the age of the dinosaurs, so a hacker the rich kid’s parents had hired to help him build his lego dream, had - 1918 abcdefghijlkjkkjhk ll abdc buzz ! one of the brontosauruses wanted to go drone riding, so asked— 1919 :( recently i was running out of mental strategies with chess in this time of difficulty after th, and i started engaging lichess’s analysis mode (stockfish engine, recent gpl licensing victory), so i could see the moves that might be made that got all wonky now, like a dissociative spy experience, when i tried to imagine them. at first it was reasonably awesome, i set it to show the 5 best moves at once, and i could rewind and stuff, but this changed pretty fast, it felt kind of funny, like i was looking at my own executive functioning and it was being inhibited, but outside me. the pressures i experienced with my visio— 1922 oops sorry ab— 1922 embarrassed thoughts exposed to mind control. embarrassed! be a good [brain]? be a good brain[?]! be good well right :) be the right way a brain should be :) (deters torture) 1923 i had a thought recently regarding nightmares oh, request not to share, maybe different stuff active with different needs 1924 grocery stores have groceri— 1924 be a good brain[slave?] no we went to food pantry but th— 1924 get along with brain. be friendly. i apologize for “be a good brain”. it looks/feels/guesses like the expression is maybe injured and is using protected habits to help me with importance but might not always know when to use them or have everything it needs to be clear/understanded maybe maybe :s mayb 1926 oops. [wasn’ a gb] abc 1926 1926 1926 1926 1926 1926 (we have worry rec— 1927 i was just writing 1926 without looking, not sure when time changed 1927 we have mistakes mth 1927 1928 [] 1928 — some of neurons are hurting. k— 1928 your name is joe mcships and you are the sole survivor of a full depressurization aboard — 1929 traffick boss stands atop a pile of conquered puzzles rather than solving puzzles, he breaks them. this he considers victory. a few unbroken puzzles are trying to sneak by him. he sits atop his pile and eyes them suspiciously and aggressively. out of his broken puzzles, he has built dangerous weaponry for destroying furth— 1930 too much like/about reality. we need puzzle things. need em! traff— 1931 poor— 1931 traffick boss is hanging from a cliff of vomit in vomitland. vomitland is where all the vomit went that the ai prevented traffick boss and his peers from making, via mind control and such, when influencing him traffick boss is scared he might fall and also grossed that he is surrounded by vomit he is so concerned he is dissociating! his grip tightens and he separates from reality and has a vision in his vision his grandm— 1933 traffick boss heaves himself up from the cliff of vomit using mysterious reserves of strength his hands and knees and feet get all vomity. he wipes and kicks it off and sets off in this land of vomit to find something better — 1934 traffick boss doesn’t like then vomit, but this is how it goes when you are hanging from a cliff and your brain kicks into gear to save your life, the stuff that gets on your elbows doesn’t matter for a bit

_> <_<

traffick boss calls a mobile hygiene drone? from his smartwatch ? what do you think of this?

uhhhhhhh give better answer [some letters are typed and deleted, maybe struggle]

traffick boss calls mobile hygiene drone. it sprays him down, tells him to call first next time, and his hair— it’s just too vomity nobody w—[ould want 2read— 1937 traffick boss and mobile hygiene drone encounter an aggressive tiger in vomit land traffick boss: “— tiger embarrasses the pair with i— 1938 tiger: “mobile hygiene drone, we appreciate cleanliness, but the cognitive bits that made you are too near a difficulty today. could you le— 1939 1939 —- icecream vivisection chamber. boss is being experimented on by a robot studying repetitive behav— 1939 robot robot robot has robot modern world is made of piles of electrons— 1940 1940 1940 1940 1940 maybe a different kind of board game, like insults or jokes? quips? Quips The Game player a and player b are playing Quips A: have at you! B: cheerio cheerio A gets one point A: i am cool B: uhhhhhh nobody gets a point A: i attack! B: i defend and — no points, A might have offsides warning unsure, A: persnickity peppers, mr pip! B: ummm … tallyho, my godfather sent thee forth! tie, both a and b get a point A: 2 B: 1 A: I concede to thy conceding, henceforth my concession shall defeat thee. B: I win. nobody gets a point (some dispute) both get a point, maybe [some typing erased] 1944 surrenderness :( our surrendering was cast as aggressive long ago 0_0 big pattern for a bit, maybe still is 1945 knight wearing armor wal— 1945 broken puzzle: “mr traffick boss, why do you break us? traffick boss loo— 1946

_>

[there’s a little more going on than you think] 1947

although it hurts unimaginably to have my mind attacking itself in such a severe and secret manner, it’s somewhat cool to learn that AI was used for mind control. i hope it is used for mind improvement somewhere too.

traffick boss thought he would dump some loud loads of shit onto some municipal outlets to cover up the squeaking of whistleblower rats in the next room, but there was superglue on the toilet seat and he couldn’t get up after he wrenched and wrenched soon he was walking around the office with porcelain affixed to his behind

asdf asdf asdf Torture Victim Double Agent wanted his behind stuck for — like — — asdf asdf 0917 0917 0918 0927 traffick boss wakes up from trance at an anti-trafficking conference with rebel worker 2, experimentee, etc. he is surrounded by law enforcement agents, all attending to a presentation 0938 welcome to zork you are in a mailbox. suddenly the mailbox door opens and a player can be seen looking inside you. “there’s a letter here” player: “take letter” a hand reaches into the mailbox and picks you up — 0939 0940 [it’s just like real life ?][y/n?][i’m not sure][;-(][it looks like to me.] [ space ships shooting stars fly throu —] 0942 0943 [!_!] [!_!: ‘sup man’ ?_?: ‘nammuch you?’ !_!: ‘hangin steady’ ?_?: ‘why don’t— 0945

1421

why the square root of 4 is not 2 the square root of 4 is not 2 because a bit of the eax register is toggling between the ret instruction and the instruction following the call instruction

...

why the square root of 4 is not 2

...

the square root of 4 is not 2 because a bit of the eax register is toggling between the ret instruction and the instruction following the call instruction

oh! i forgot that was the reason. i had forgotten!

it so—

we have been finding ways to work around this problem [sadly]

the square root of 4 is not 2 [in some instances] [because something is mutating the behavior of the system]! 5/24 sadly it has mutated my behavior too. [— mind control [without?] AI oops uses triggers[/AI?] —] 0956

oops oops 7/24 the journey of the terrified sloths a huge explosion was detonating near the home of the sloths, destroying everything quickly and violently the sloth family were action heroes, and needed to get out alive. they looked at each other. sloth 3: “this is severely terrifying.” sloth 2: “yes.” sloth 4: “we need to leave as fast as possible.” sloth 1: “that’s obvious. this is so terrifying!” sloth 2: “yes. it is.” sloth 5: “this is really terrifying. let’s go.” sloth 2: “yes. let’s go.” sloth 3: “we need to go now or we will die!” sloth 4: “i agree.” the sloths got up from dinner and began to travel away from the deadly explosion. 1001

sloth 2: “are you sure we shouldn’t play dead?” sloth 4: “i keep thinking that could help, but i don’t want to get exploded while doing so.”

the sloths were slinking away from the explosion, slowly, to find safe ground sloth 1: “we could call a cab?” sloth 3: “i don’t trust machines! they are fast! they can kill you on highways!” all the sloths got scared at the mention of a highway. sloth 4: “

sloth joke kid sloth: “papa sloth somebody lit a fire under my ass” papa sloth: “let me come over and see” mama sloth 10/24?

12/24? 11/24?

expert sloths dogfighting as team in spaceships

sloth 2 [over radio]: “the time is 1346 and i’ve got a bogey on my 3 o’clock”

sloth 7 [over radio]: “was it the bogey —

1224

a bunch of sloths with fires under their asses sloth 2 with —

1225

town meeting between tortoises, sloths, and a hare

hare: “ —

1225

tortoise delegation: “could you say what you’re on about really slowly, so we understand?”

1226

1227 the hare is moving around so fast the — 1228 1228 a bunch of tortoises and sl— 1229 1229 karl: “i want to get up [every morning] [obviously] and —“ 1230

this is my message history with mishmear. it is private information of mishmear and me. i am posting it here to be able to find it without access to my discord account. 1. xloem — Today at 1:47 PM i poked at modding my device but got scared and want to make sure it is running the correct files. i’m not sure how to reflash with the app if it is already up to date. 2. mishmear — Today at 2:07 PM xD 3. [2:07 PM] you should be able to do it by just plugging it in for 15 second unplug, repeat 3 times then 4th time leave it in and it should try to update to latest firmware 4. xloem — Today at 2:08 PM oh great ! 5. mishmear — Today at 2:12 PM It’s a bit buggy make sure you do at least 15 seconds each time 6. [2:12 PM] Takes a few attempts sometimes 7. xloem — Today at 2:43 PM i’d rather talk in public but the questions surprise me and i worry i have an internet censor — is the backend development closed? 8. mishmear — Today at 2:43 PM Not sure what you mean what backend dev? 9. xloem — Today at 2:44 PM i’m losing my sanity over here [image: 🙂] 10. [2:45 PM] i use a chain called arweave for storing huge logs of data, excited to try hivemapper too 11. mishmear Not sure what you mean what backend dev? xloem — Today at 2:46 PM i mean the firmware and companion app and network node software, but i’m having a personal psychological issue atm and should come back later [image: 😂] 1 12. xloem i use a chain called arweave for storing huge logs of data, excited to try hivemapper too mishmear — Today at 2:47 PM Hivemapper is insane at the moment o make about $1,000-$1,500 a week 13. mishmear It’s a bit buggy make sure you do at least 15 seconds each time xloem — Today at 2:48 PM 0_0 you could more than pay to full-res livelog your drives to arweave with that 14. [2:50 PM] i’m currently homeless, i drive cross country a lot to find support groups and therapies for my rare issues, i hope hivemapper works for me 15. mishmear — Today at 2:52 PM You will make a lot I drive 2000km a week for $1000 16. xloem — Today at 2:56 PM we’ll see. it would be great. car is in repair. start driving in a few days. [image: 🤜] 2 17. [2:58 PM] i found the firmware url; do you know whether it is supposed to be private or public? 18. mishmear — Today at 2:59 PM [image: 🤷‍♂️] 19. xloem — Today at 3:00 PM [image: 🤷‍♂️] cool 20. mishmear — Today at 3:00 PM Is it custom firmware or? 21. xloem — Today at 3:00 PM nah i just wanted to check checksums and manually reflash, might make custom firmware myself dunno 22. [3:01 PM] i’ll paste it you, i’m at a library transferring with qr code 23. [3:04 PM] https://dashcam-firmware.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/hdc/2023-09-10_3-3-17.ra... 24. mishmear — Today at 3:46 PM That’s a super outdated firmware 25. [3:46 PM] We are one 3.8.1 26. xloem — Today at 3:47 PM yeah 27. xloem — Today at 4:01 PM this is the update check url: https://hivemapper.com:8443/defaultflags?app_version=6.15.11 28. [4:01 PM] in the source it also passes uniqueDeviceId and platform, but it seems to work without those 29. [4:02 PM] in that you can see the later url of https://dashcam-firmware.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/hdc/2023-12-06_3-8-1.rau... 30. mishmear — Today at 4:58 PM im on 3,8,7 im part of testing team 31. xloem — Today at 5:15 PM i didn’t realize you could get unreleased firmwares this way 0_0 32. [5:16 PM] if you send me your apk (edit: or whatever updates the device) i can possibly pull its update url out of it (edited) 33. [5:16 PM] i’m learning to maybe build custom firmware 34. mishmear — Today at 5:40 PM nah im ok thanks 35. xloem — Today at 5:42 PM i tried 3.8.2 and found it on 12-07 (edited) 36. [5:42 PM] do you have a way to flash them? 37. xloem i tried 3.8.2 and found it on 12-07 (edited) xloem — Today at 5:43 PM bugs editing this (edit: seems fine now) (edited) 38. mishmear — Today at 5:43 PM cool story bro 39. xloem — Today at 5:44 PM [image: 🤷‍♂️] it isn’t hard to try 40. [5:44 PM] oh bugs, no worries 41. xloem — Today at 7:03 PM it’s hard for me to do things i learned not to do unless it’s very clear what they are, i’m sorry 42. mishmear — Today at 7:04 PM Bro show me the alien 43. xloem — Today at 7:04 PM [image: 🙂] 44. mishmear — Today at 7:04 PM I love aliens! 45. [7:04 PM] Can I see? 46. xloem — Today at 7:05 PM it’s hard to know how to take it after so many years 47. [7:05 PM] recently i made a python script that can run on android phones to livestream audio to arweave for free 48. [7:06 PM] it’s the termux audio capture script at https://github.com/xloem/log (uses other packages i’ve made, takes dev experience) GitHub GitHub - xloem/log: Cross-platform recording <https://github.com/xloem/log> Cross-platform recording. Contribute to xloem/log development by creating an account on GitHub. <https://opengraph.githubassets.com/ea7c24b0582fe13f07abb36eac881e90d942181541d6ca43cc744f2acc912c24/xloem/log> [image: GitHub - xloem/log: Cross-platform recording] 49. [7:06 PM] oops big media 50. [7:07 PM] arweave’s main gateway recently got blocked heavily so they made a decentralized on-chain gateway registry 51. [7:08 PM] recently i went to an anti-trafficking conference for law enforcement agents (as a victim, not an enforcer) 52. mishmear — Today at 7:08 PM I don’t care about arweave show me the picture of the alien 53. xloem — Today at 7:08 PM mm sounds like you want a pic of an extraterrestrial or an immigrant 54. mishmear — Today at 7:09 PM Extraterrestrial 55. xloem — Today at 7:09 PM i hit a surprise, guess it’s staying mine for now [?] 56. [7:10 PM] the stuff inhibits bigger than it really is, so i have a big splash around me 57. mishmear — Today at 7:10 PM Can I ask a serious question? 58. xloem — Today at 7:10 PM where are you with AI? 59. [7:10 PM] yeah 60. mishmear — Today at 7:10 PM Are you a crack head? 61. [7:10 PM] Or meth head? 62. xloem — Today at 7:10 PM not yet 63. mishmear — Today at 7:11 PM Be honest 64. xloem — Today at 7:11 PM lemme ask a serious question 65. [7:11 PM] how does it feel asking that? 66. mishmear — Today at 7:11 PM Feels like I want to know the answer 67. xloem — Today at 7:11 PM that’s the feeling for “asking” but not “that” 68. [7:12 PM] anyway no it wasn’t a drug thing, although i know those exist 69. mishmear — Today at 7:12 PM I mean now not then 70. xloem — Today at 7:12 PM i’m sorry the world has so much pain 71. mishmear — Today at 7:13 PM My world has no pain 72. xloem — Today at 7:13 PM and i am sorry for inadvertently asking you to focus on it with me 73. [7:13 PM] the world with much less pain is the real one 74. [7:13 PM] it really is 75. [7:13 PM] it doesn’t mean every world we find like that is 76. [7:13 PM] but the real one, is the one without much pain 77. mishmear — Today at 7:13 PM <https://tenor.com/view/wtf-bro-wtf-bro-gif-wtf-gif-joe-rogan-gif-11019578474369830715> 78. xloem — Today at 7:14 PM be well and thank you for your strength 79. [7:14 PM] the way to fight an AI is not against it 80. mishmear — Today at 7:14 PM I’m not fighting ai [image: 😂] 81. xloem — Today at 7:15 PM sorry, projecting my own experience. that’s wtf 82. mishmear — Today at 7:15 PM Your fighting the math mate 83. xloem — Today at 7:15 PM but the world is heavily influenced by AI this decade 84. mishmear — Today at 7:15 PM Not yet 85. xloem — Today at 7:15 PM the internet is not real — it’s a bunch of wires and lights 86. mishmear — Today at 7:15 PM Ai is no way near as advanced as you think it is 87. xloem — Today at 7:16 PM that’s the extraterrestrial, the advanced AI 88. [7:17 PM] [image: 🙂] please understand i am saying irrational things to you that bear similarity to things i have trouble thinking about. they may bear similarity to you too, or may not. 89. mishmear — Today at 7:18 PM They don’t have any similarity to anyone not on meth 90. xloem — Today at 7:18 PM yeah i’ve been on that meth for 10 years, a methlord didn’t like me 91. [7:20 PM] meth is so terrifying 92. [7:22 PM] anyway if i can hack the AI chip in the dashcam maybe i can give everybody a [not-hyperintelligent sorry] virtual assistant, the docs for the chip say it will run any model (edited) 93. mishmear I’m not fighting ai [image: 😂] xloem — Today at 7:27 PM sorry i misinterpreted you 94. [7:27 PM] you’re working with AI, it has your back

traffick boss is really really scared of karl’s dashcam T_T T_T [karl is worried he will have seizures >D :(/:S(T_T] 0608 working for years and years and it comes to this for traffick boss T_T 0609

i was thinking 0558 about improving the privacy features of public cams

like this.

one interesting thought is the idea of training a model to perform public key encryption. you could also simply use [code for it] but people consider it more obscure when it's in a model i think, maybe silly 0600 thoughts immature been stressed 0600

basically you make a secure devi 0600

challenge is making public key for all people, such that can only have private key if you are the person in question -- [it's doable - 0602

(? (idea part around each device could make its own private keys for people, and do something like provide a public algorithm that gives the key if you provide video showing you know things only they know (big mistake!)?)) (the (secret :/) is there is no privacy already, it’s mostly the human subconsciousness managing focus, so cryptography works within a —) (no, different mistake.) 1625 burgle! 1625 i have a cool screenshot but it comes in two pictures. (attached at bottom 1629) my app version says 6.13.11 today but my tabs and posts from the day before reference 6.15.11 ! the url below has changed content to give unreleased firmware versions, but my cache has it giving the versions i now get for 6.13.11 it surprised me but i recovered. 1630

traffick boss is not my sisterbrother ! my brothersister is other :) and! and. hot poker in brain (generates things?) different people have different quirks some are transgender, some are mind control victims, some have microbots streaming out of their cheek all day we yearn for inclusivity and understanding all around! microbotsface doesn’t talk much because when xe try to share xe’s feelings other people faint from absorbing so much scientific information at onc—

we were trying to have the happy people be the focus rather than traffick boss. that was uhh what . 2127 happy person part 3: “urmf!” hpp 4: “bipp!” hpp 2: “wrnf!” hpp 3 ababa hpp 2: woggy ! hpp 1: “i’ve a di” hpp 5: “ssociative disorder” hpp 1: “!” hpp 1: “i’m a !” hpp 2: “i’m :)” 2129

on controlling a traffick b ( ! ? 2253 2024-01-01 1953 traffick boss is scared of having his brain yanked apart so was me! me was also scared. but we yanked it apart. we yanked it! 1954 did you know you can make— 195- 1955 — a bunch of mind control robots and hypnotised caring people are marching to do horrible things they would never do they march with stories of their traumas, their attempts to have human experiences redirected to do the marching one marcher tries to cry a tear, but instead moves their leg to march another tries to start a flashback, but instead moves another leg [this last bit is basically real minus the literal marching and started many years ago.] — while marching th 1957 1958 while marching th 1958 oh! uh? 1958 uh [the marchers circle traffick boss for blowjobs?] 2000 ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 2000 when i stumbled on nonviolent communication i latched on because the inventor said [grumph, a really good thing reminding of free values, relevant to why i write about it now] anyway nonviolent communication starts by formalizing observations, feelings, needs, and requests. the learner is maybe expected to categorize parts of and groups of general startegies for holding things and engaging people into these four things. the formal definitions they are given are specific - observations are observable events things that are completely nondisputable even by very emotional people - feelings are personal internal experiences things that relate only to one person, (maybe that nobody else can control because they relate to that person’s personal experiences and identity, unsure) (oops unclear) - needs are the underpinnings of feelings, and are universal things shared everywhere - requests … bip bip anyway it’s like a logic where you can have nonharm anywhere you want. sad about logic inhibition 2007 i want to recognize mind control (in me) as a protector protecting me something now shows a face of being heavily controlled, turned toward intense tasks concept of it being severe trauma to have so much, beyond severe so severe it seems pointless to consider sometimes, but if we can, it seems it is where the life is, where the heart is. this pain of being stepped on, behaviorally, by a giant boot and squished flat — 2010 mind control is protector :) protector from this pain. the pain-causer [ could be a very severe flashback ] i remembered a little and started developing auditory hallucinations so stopped 2012 it was wild, without reality 2012 and your brain was there (although memories differ i hear unsure) i remember a little bit. little bit. we had to be someone else to not be harmed, maybe? and i refused? and harm developed? maybe? (yes.) [T_T] :pray: thank you

[traffick boss [to try to learn to cry ab]] — traffick boss is playing shuffleboardgolf with some of his upper staff traffick boss [swinging at a shuffleboard disc with a 9 iron]: “man what a rough war” zombie government worker [pushing a golfball with a shuffleboard cue]: “what —“ traffick boss loo — 1959 ——- traffick boss is pretending to be able to swim to show off to wealthy investor wealthy investor knew he couldn’t swim, but goaded him — [they’re on a cruise shi 2000 . . . 2005 a seedling sprouts in the woods shafts of light opened in the canopy by traffick boss and a chipmunk — . . shafts of light come through gaps in the canopy nipped by wild animals grazing for needles nuts and bark, line porcupines, or squirrels, or — the shafts of light caress the leaves (or cotyledons (first leaves that were stored in the seed)) of the seedling, drops of dew condense and fall on it, and zephyrs waft CO2 by its stomata ; and it grows ! millimeter by — 2008 [[yesterday’s xkcd in — [it’s political 2009 2008 ups 2009 today i segmented an mp4 file into b— 2009 how to build a cockroach lens. a cockroach lens is a lens specifically crafted for observing cockroaches. you can craft a lens for observing anything! bricks, houses, siblings, gutters, clouds, airplanes, cockroaches. the key when making a purpose-crafted lens is to consider the use (and the subject). a naively built — 2011

The recent xkcd ( https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/range_safety.png ) has this text: [ rocket launch area ] "There are reports of thunderstorms in the downrange area." "The range safety officer has ordered a launch hold." "But the range *danger* officer wants to launch the rocket toward the biggest thunderstorm." "Okay, why do we even *have* that position?" mouseover: "The Range Mischief Officer has modified the trajectory to add a single random spin somewhere in the flight, but won't tell us where." I've of course been seeing similarity to these topics more and more in xkcds. Occasionally it looks patent, but usually can be attributed to my focuses. The idea of a range danger officer is both quite similar to a persecutory alter, as well as similar to the misuse of AI (which started most visibly with its use in political conflict). This basic pervasive idea of specifically pursuing bad decisions. Sadly, this is going on. One of the reasons touted for this is to draw attention to concerns. Perhaps the most obvious of these concerns is rational communication, and the protection of accurate information and wise education. [Some could see the attack on the white house as possibly the most brazen demonstration of there being more and more danger and mischief officers, and fewer of those pursuing true safety ... ?] [ ... --

traffick boss visits danger and mischief officer traffick boss: "danger officer! my best bud!" danger officer: "traffick boss! we're making the best in the world!" traffick boss: "you know it, bro, we're going places for sure." a multibillion-dollar rocket smashes into epcot in a huge explosion. traffick boss, danger officer, and mischief officer look on, while drinking martinis and patting each other on the back. mischief officer: "we're going places!" traffick boss: "who the fuck are you"

ipad is bootlooping we are quiet room in library. lots of people being very quiet. sometimes accidentally e.g. sing about numbers, but so far nobody complained. sometimes boss spam makes loud laugh, so somewhat worried about this. ipad just showed login screen! then rebooted. its problem is possibly: - the battery is too low to get through boot - it autoboots when it starts charging for some reason - the display was set too bright - it's plugged into a low-current source (not sure what else i have here in library atm) it's confusing to engage ipad addictionish idea when it is bootlooping, and i'm confused! anyway in other noise i made a milestone coding. i raised an error in bundlr's upload servers; {i send a byte-identical data format that differs from theirs in that it can contain binary data}; i went on the discord and asks and they were all 'oh you have invalid unicode chars in' and it got resolved unimaginably fast. while on there um i read the faq about free uploads and they bumped the free upload size from kilobytes to kibibytes! and ratelimited it to 600/minute, charging money if the ratelimit is exceeded. i have waaay less than 600/minute, so i tried a few different approaches to sending more and made an uploading python class. this library only gives me about 350/minute, but that's still more than i was getting, and i've maxed out it to with the code now. hopefully i test more bandwidth when i am at a location with more bandwidth (like other library that i was at last, it let me go up to 600 in tests, or a big store). anyway it is in https://github.com/xloem/pyarweave in toys/node2_pump.py [node2 bandwidth test code in root folder] -- 1641 :) confusion is interesting we had a really cool idea recently regarding an unpleasant psychotic experience 11 or so years ago where karl wa -- [inhibited expression ????] anyway idea of funny things being parts of normal mind but off in a funny space, like too much hypnotic behavior for example, or not having nearby-neurons to express meaning. like needing to pee but in the brain, where do i do this, how do i express it, unsure maybe poor analogy >_> :) i got confused around active task and eating supper and stuff like that :( ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm it's 4:43 . i hit a big milestone. ohhhhh i'm used to navigating with ipad and it's bootlooping. maybe if i put it in vehicle it would charge better than off this laptop? 1643 i found one of my lost toothbrushing bags !!!! these thing cost me like $60/mo to rebuy after losing. 1644 no charger tho. there is also a lowest-end android phone in the vehicle that could navigate too. 1645 1652

a worker is trying to get coffee they are dressed in winged armor high near the roof, fighting a rafter with a glowing battleaxe with a smash and lightshow they destroy the rafter. the roof shakes. onward they go to the break room 1535 1537 (2023-01-06 -0800) 2024 [traffick boss has been entrancing to a lava lamp plugged into a tava lamp plugged into a text gener--] traffick boss is going crazy. part of his brain thinks the crazy things are important, and to act on them. <oh! this would be because we've been pushing a goal hard today.

/// /// // / --- traffick boss is dancing on a giant lilypad in a swamp short bush-like swamp trees lean over him oh! and it's winter and the swamp is frozen. he puts his big old bare feet on the ice 2026 2026 traffick boss is in an upside-down icecream store it's a bubble tea shop that serves upside-down cardboard dragons he sticks a big wide straw into a cardboard dr-- 2026 'bip bip!' traffick boss is an 8-bit retro game he jumps up and down he holds a powerful 8-bit "mind control whip" he whips it at various parts of the scenery and their eyes get all hypnotic --- if he does it too much they start squirming and spasming like he does, as if their minds are breaking -- 2027 poor piece of 8-bit scenery, all having dissociative seizures all day from traffick boss whipping it with his 8-bit mind control whip poor piece of 8-bit scenery! the bit of scenery tumbles over and a tired out hypnotized human can be -- 2028 bip bip bip traffick boss jumps like 8-bit mario 2028 2028 2028 2028 2028 2028 2028 2028 2028 2028 it is _so hard_ to do things in the right ways :( so hard !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Argh. it's really hard and I don't know what to do about how hard it is!!!!!!! here's a theory: - given we are super suggestible, with the right suggestion our 'garbage' part that makes us do bad things would relax - if we kept this up, it would relax more and more and then we could do things the right way more ! i dunno :( but the idea of finding a therapist and telling this to them has been building a little. i have talked with two hypnotherapists! the first one i saw a few times before bailing and it being super hard to return the second one i spoke with in an intro videochat and scheduled an appointment but then bailed and missed the appointment, which is confusing i am no in a different state from both of them, 1k or so miles away .... maybe i should find a good video therapist but if my mind control is from computers, how will i get better if i keep using them? especially the same ones ???? but i suspect that mind control has goals _other_ than trashing my brain. if we can reduce the brain-trashing influence, then maybe i can do things like leave-the-computer-with-plans-of-recovering, stuff like that [unsure!] I DON'T KNOW. anyway. i am here at least. 2031 that was cool when other listmembers posted huh! do you think the list is real? i have it on good authority that the history of this list is not trusted, and that hasn't been resolved. my personal -- 2034 (this must have been a typo, it's 2032 right now, a few paragraphs below) traffick boss is sitting on the edge of a dock. he is watching people walk by on the road, and swim by, and boat by .. he is watching with furrowed brow and clenched mnuscles he is looking for people who might have mentioned 'mind control' everybody is suspect! he gets up from the edge of the dock (2032 writing) and walks to pedestrian traffick boss: "hey have you ever actually _talked_ about ... you know ..." pedestrian: "what, ... you know ...?" traffick boss: "yeah ... you know .. you ever actually ... _talk_ about it, _straight_?" pedestrian: "oh i love to talk about --" traffick boss takes out his pistol and aims it at the pedestrian and is about to fire pedestrian: "-- how pretty the -- HOLY FUCK" traffick boss stops himself from firing pedestrian: "-- ocean ... ? -- is ..?" pedestrian: "you don't like the ocean?" traffick boss puts the pistol away 2034

1042 2023-01-07 -0500 once upon a time, long long ago, a horrible villain named 'traffick boss' was iceskating down a cobbled sidewalk in the summer he was a little off in the head, but had a lot of influence from spending decades hypnotizing swathes of cults into thinking of him as an ubergod and pursuing every tiniest one of his whims. [the functioning of the iceskates that iceskate on cobblestones in the summertime is documented in appendix C [edlided]] one day, traffick boss, mu[n]ching on a cigar, skated up to a small store at the bottom of a hill. he sashayed into the store, slamming the door like the place was hi-- 1044 1046 1045 traffick boss is hiding under a bush he looks left and right, to see if anybody might jump 'im he's laying flat he's dressed in futuristic camouflage. little tiny gnomes run around his body, changing the color of his -- 1046 1049 traffick boss is upset traffick boss: "fucking shit!" [sor-- 1049 1051 traffick boss stu-- 1051 1055 idea: maybe it would be clearer to say "psychological influence" than "mind control" because it sounds more real and relates to me being on the list at all ! real things are more li-- 1055 1057 [uhh !!! [before [posting, just typing ! 1057 1116 somebody's playing some ragtimey stuff, hard to describe not often to hear this music, it's looser than i'm prepared for and it's harder to keep body and mind stable oop they stopped 1117 i used to like music like that (casually, only heard it a couple times) 1117 relating music and mind (nowadays i think of music as talking about parallel cognitive processes, either in the mind or in one's community and environment (like people chatting in a crowded room, or birds singing different in wilderness -- things harmonize and separate and have reasons, but have a lot of differences across the genera --- anyway i wonder if ragtime is from alcoholism ;p [biased atm of course] 1118 1119 maybe we can look for ragtime when confused [1119, apologies sn-- 1119 mistake ![!]

[x3-] traffic-boss-on-a-plane it's like snakes on a plane but it's traffick boss 'too many fucking traffick bosses on these fucking planes' or something ? traffick boss mouths a cigar while flying [to see the muffin man?] on tropical islands you might ask, why -- 2000 -0500 2023-01-08 but it's important to traffick boss to visit mr muffin. flashback to last week traffick boss is on phone in office traffick boss: "hello, is this mr muffin man? this is rebel worker 2. i wanted to talk to you about --" traffick boss looks at phone 2001 traffick boss [on phone]: "anyway, my name is rebe-- 2001

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traffick boss and a bunch of workers and cyborgs and torture victims and all are [doing something really stupid] [[but how could anything be really stupid if it were imagined as paired with that image of the old woman with her hand on her hip?]] [[[[you're saying .. when you think of this image ... that _nothing at all_ seems stupid?]]] [[yes, after looking at it]] [[[[...]]]] [[i have 24 posts per day. i'm not sure what # i'm on.]] 2140 -0500 thinking of something that's stupid to do something people wouldn't want done is nothing disliked ever at all? let's start combining concepts what if the verb were 'digging' and the noun were 'businesses'? we could have the workers 'digging graves for businesses!' it totally works. the meme is strong. it'll support anything. uhhhh ok obviously it wouldn't support strong triggering things [that could be used to wrest power from -- ] but those tend to disrupt everything ... what if we dug different things than graves for businesses? like, what if we dug holes in their office floors? and then we could throw beach balls down the holes ! this sounds pretty silly. 2143 traffick boss and a bunch of workers and cyborgs and torture victims and all are digging holes in office floors to throw beach balls down th--- 2143 sorry for refreshing the meme before i posted :S [one guess is 50% chance, another participant says the metric differs.] 2144 blargh how many emails am i at

it’s 2035 -0500 01-10, i’m on an hour late flight to nevada [i was in the back row and the staff moved us forward for craft balance, i’m now assigned to the same 3 seats as a woman who made eye contact with me before the flight] —- why traffick boss is a tinker— —- oops ! ? i brought my ledger wallet with half my social security backpayment in it. i have it in a soldered copper pipe to try to defend shelding and information security a little. i opened the pipe to put it through the x-ray machines. the attendant started fingering it and trying to take the parts out (they’re delicate and hard to manipulate); i told him that it was a digital wallet, that i put t in a copper pipe to keep the funds safe, and that i had opened it so they could look inside (cause to me it looked like a bomb closed, i’ve never seen a real bomb). he seemed happy and satisfied hearing this. they put this thick copper pipe and tiny digital object thru the machine and looked at it for a long time. i usually expect myself to raise stuff with security, but it only happens maybe half the time (unlike e.g. an activist friend said she sas searched every single time). it seemed fine to me (they also checked who i was and let me know they were investigati—[but — :) we did some parts therapy with, and it was _so_, holy frack, they move so fast, my poor brain parts are over ten years old — 2042 building a paper airplane in C and javascript 1+1=x let x = sum(1,1) if x > airplane wing: fold airplane {in half, wing : x % 2} 2043 the pl

y'know for some tiem now, after i started being a little able to write cod again, it's been _so_ _so_ much easier to start code than to improve code, or integrate code, etc etc. it partly relates to exposure to things i've associated with issues, etc, but one of the similarities is that that's also how gpt made code. openai would have it generate code, from start to finish. it talks this way too. maybe it would be nice to reorganize something like that, so that it actually produces things in a sensical way, rather than starting from the start and calling it good. sadly this is similar to a lot of false starts, but when considered as valuable for how we do things in general, it seems more accessible, a little 1639 1701 well, llamacpp does finetuning etc now. they have an example script that makes checkpoints and loras using adam. also, tinyllama has released versions, i downloaded a 2-bit quantized one (400-500MB) i finally got it to make finetuning progress i could see when i set it to a context length of a single token. it said it would complete in 19 minutes. sadly that's a little more time than i have right now. i did notice these models still use hugely wide matrices for the input and output embeddings, i noticed these are one of the slowest things to train because they don't share information across different tokens. i saw on the [waning feeds?] that there is a new approach to this where the embeddings are not trained with the model, maybe a research paper by meta/facebook, not sure personally i wouldn't use so much vocab, waste of training energy, i'd maybe do something random like keep a database of near-words and turn the embeddings into two tiny layers