they are dressed in winged armor high near the roof, fighting a rafter with a glowing battleaxe

with a smash and lightshow they destroy the rafter. the roof shakes.

onward they go to the break room

1535 1537 (2023-01-06 -0800)

2024

[traffick boss has been entrancing to a lava lamp plugged into a tava lamp plugged into a text gener--]

traffick boss is going crazy.

part of his brain thinks the crazy things are important, and to act on them.

<oh! this would be because we've been pushing a goal hard today.

>

/// ///

//

/

---

traffick boss is dancing on a giant lilypad in a swamp

short bush-like swamp trees lean over him

oh! and it's winter and the swamp is frozen.

he puts his big old bare feet on the ice

2026 2026

traffick boss is in an upside-down icecream store

it's a bubble tea shop that serves upside-down cardboard dragons

he sticks a big wide straw into a cardboard dr--

2026

'bip bip!' traffick boss is an 8-bit retro game

he jumps up and down

he holds a powerful 8-bit "mind control whip"

he whips it at various parts of the scenery and their eyes get all hypnotic ---

if he does it too much they start squirming and spasming like he does, as if their minds are breaking --

2027

poor piece of 8-bit scenery, all having dissociative seizures all day from traffick boss whipping it with his 8-bit mind control whip

poor piece of 8-bit scenery!

the bit of scenery tumbles over and a tired out hypnotized human can be --

2028

bip bip bip

traffick boss jumps like 8-bit mario

2028

2028

2028

2028

2028

2028

2028

2028

2028

2028

it is _so hard_ to do things in the right ways :(

so hard !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Argh. it's really hard and I don't know what to do about how hard it is!!!!!!!

here's a theory:

- given we are super suggestible, with the right suggestion our 'garbage' part that makes us do bad things would relax

- if we kept this up, it would relax more and more and then we could do things the right way more !

i dunno :(

but the idea of finding a therapist and telling this to them has been building a little.

i have talked with two hypnotherapists!

the first one i saw a few times before bailing and it being super hard to return

the second one i spoke with in an intro videochat and scheduled an appointment but then bailed and missed the appointment, which is confusing

i am no in a different state from both of them, 1k or so miles away ....

maybe i should find a good video therapist

but if my mind control is from computers, how will i get better if i keep using them? especially the same ones ????

but i suspect that mind control has goals _other_ than trashing my brain. if we can reduce the brain-trashing influence, then maybe i can do things like leave-the-computer-with-plans-of-recovering, stuff like that [unsure!]

I DON'T KNOW.

anyway. i am here at least.

2031

that was cool when other listmembers posted huh!

do you think the list is real?

i have it on good authority that the history of this list is not trusted, and that hasn't been resolved.

my personal --

2034 (this must have been a typo, it's 2032 right now, a few paragraphs below)

traffick boss is sitting on the edge of a dock.

he is watching people walk by on the road, and swim by, and boat by ..

he is watching with furrowed brow and clenched mnuscles

he is looking for people who might have mentioned 'mind control'

everybody is suspect!

he gets up from the edge of the dock (2032 writing)

and walks to pedestrian

traffick boss: "hey have you ever actually _talked_ about ... you know ..."

pedestrian: "what, ... you know ...?"

traffick boss: "yeah ... you know .. you ever actually ... _talk_ about it, _straight_?"

pedestrian: "oh i love to talk about --"

traffick boss takes out his pistol and aims it at the pedestrian and is about to fire

pedestrian: "-- how pretty the -- HOLY FUCK"

traffick boss stops himself from firing

pedestrian: "-- ocean ... ? -- is ..?"

pedestrian: "you don't like the ocean?"

traffick boss puts the pistol away

2034