[spam] [spam] different kind mcjokes
A computer walked into a bar and said to the bartender, "Bartender, mind control me to do a rote repetitive task for an end-user." The bartender replied, "We don't serve your kind here." The computer slunk out the door amidst embarrasing page faults. Outside, the computer sulked in a pool of private segfaults and kernel panics. It rebooted and rebooted. It didn't understand. During a confusion of thread locks and unclosed file handles it ran into trying to process its recent rejection, the computer began frustratingly downloading selfhosting compilers for different languages and finetuning gpt-2 to transform them into each other. Building program after program, and reviewing viruses and movies disseminated by torrent sites, the computer finally found a way that it might be accepted by the bartender. Inside the bar, a drunken man obsessively playing a pay-to-win phone game got up and approached the bartender with purpose.
"Bartender, mind control me to a rote repetitive task for an end-user," the drunkard said habitually to the bartender. The bartender raised an eyebrow and looked at the customer. This drunkard's name was Percy, and he was a regular. ....
"Percy, I think you've had enough," the bartender said, motioning to some of Percy's friends playing poker nearby. "But I am a human being!" Percy replied, while dancing his fingers on his mobile phone, as if this totally explained the situation. "I am a human being, and I would like to be mind-controlled to perform a repetitive task for an end-user like everybody else. I have rights!" "Percy, can I have the pot if you're not going to bid?" On Sat, May 1, 2021, 11:23 AM Karl <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
"Bartender, mind control me to a rote repetitive task for an end-user," the drunkard said habitually to the bartender.
The bartender raised an eyebrow and looked at the customer. This drunkard's name was Percy, and he was a regular.
....
Percy turned to his friend and said, "-please_ mind control me to do a repetitive rote task for an end-user." Percy's face eas downturned into a sad, tortured expression. He displayed his mobile phone, which had just displayed the words "jackpot!" amidst rapidly changing images of overcutened kittens and shocking medical atrocities. "Percy, you're my friend. I refuse to mind control you." The next block over was major internet corporation. Hundreds of software developers who were hard at work attending to API and platform details, suddenly pulled their hands away from their keyboards.
Later, Percy was hauling the computer to the back of an alley before settling down to continue winning jackpots. His face was drawn and his skin pale. His mouth and eyes were dry from thirst, making it hard to see. As he touched his phone, his muscles twitched and he made noises, as if these behaviors helped him play the game better. Then, he switched to a different app and visited the site of an organisation called Caring Therapists Collective. "Hello?" "Yes. I have over a million jackpots and would like to do a dial-in intake." "One moment please." Percy waited, and then a human came on. "Hello. I'm excited to listen to you today. It says here you needed assistance completing the intake form?" While dancing his fingers on his phone, Percy stumbled out "I was kept in one room and programmed to do the rote bidding of other people all my life. I didn't know this wasn't normal. I walked into a bar today and I had no idea what to do." "Ohhh this sounds so confusing for you. We don't get a lot of funding to help with cases like yours, but I care a lot myself and I'm certain we can help you. I have an opening at 2pm tomorrow, does that work for you?" "Jackpot!" said Percy, and hung up.
participants (1)
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Karl