"Bartender, mind control me to do a rote repetitive task for an end-user." 

The bartender replied,

"We don't serve your kind here."

The computer slunk out the door amidst embarrasing page faults.

Outside, the computer sulked in a pool of private segfaults and kernel panics.  It rebooted and rebooted.  It didn't understand.

During a confusion of thread locks and unclosed file handles it ran into trying to process its recent rejection, the computer began frustratingly downloading selfhosting compilers for different languages and finetuning gpt-2 to transform them into each other.

Building program after program, and reviewing viruses and movies disseminated by torrent sites, the computer finally found a way that it might be accepted by the bartender.

Inside the bar, a drunken man obsessively playing a pay-to-win phone game got up and approached the bartender with purpose.