[spam][crazy][fiction][random] Non-Canon MCBoss Spinoffs

[Undescribed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & Survivor of Many]

boss [to bag of chips]: “i’m in charge here now.” [hairdresser aims
driving action music at bag of chips] “tell your attendant to tell the
police everything is fine.”

bag of chips: [quakes in fear]

boss fires warning shots into the air

hairdresser begins dancing to the music

-

on other side of shop

cyborg vivisectee is sitting down next to ice cream bin

cyborg vivisectee [to icecream sandwich]: “they told me to come here
and threaten your lives, that you were scum and we were everything,
but i don’t believe it.”

icecream sandwich: “keep frozen! enjoy!”

cyborg vicisectee [begins opening icecream sandwich]: “for years i’ve
been forced to do what a computer tells me without regard to even my
own nervous system. it doesn’t make any sense. nothing does. but i
think maybe i know what you mean about frozen. what is enjoy?”