[ot][wrong] Please let me sleep outdoors in the coldest winter. Was: Re: PLEASE LET ME SLEEP OUTDOORS

[Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many]

On 6/26/22, Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many
<gmkarl at gmail.com> wrote:
> On Sun, Jun 26, 2022, 8:56 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of
> Many <gmkarl at gmail.com> wrote:
>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to the
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> list
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> again.
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> i
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> started
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> by just logging time spent on planning and
>> >>>>>>> thinking about
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> it.
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> after
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> two attempts i was able to do it rather than
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> think
>> >>>>>>> about
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> it, with
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> effort.
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water
>> >>>>>>> after warm
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> water,
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> hard
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10
>> >>>>>>> seconds cold.
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> easy.
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> food after.
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after medium-easy
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-easy
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food after
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> medium-easy
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-hard
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> 2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after medium-hard
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> > 2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food after, medium-easy
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, medium-easy,
>> >>>>>>> outdoors
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, irrational state
>> of
>> >>>>>>> mind,
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>> indoors
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>
>> >>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-16 1502 69F 20/1:25cold 68F food after, easy,
>> >>>>>>> >>>>> indoors
>> >>>>>>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>>> >>>> 2022-06-17 1051 21/1:04cold 67.4F food after, medium-easy,
>> >>>>>>> indoors
>> >>>>>>> >>>>
>> >>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-17 1929 unk warm, 22/1:20 cold, 58.8F, food after,
>> >>>>>>> >>> medium,
>> >>>>>>> >>> indoors
>> >>>>>>> >>>
>> >>>>>>> >> 2022-06-18 0921 53.7F 22/1:12 cold with food medium-hard
>> >>>>>>> >>
>> >>>>>>> > 2022-06-18 1653 53.7F 22/1:20 cold with hot food medium
>> >>>>>>>
>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-19 0736 56.4F 12/:30 cold + 22/1:15 cold with warm food,
>> >>>>>>> medium-hard
>> >>>>>>
>> >>>>>>
>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-20 0547 61.7F 22/1:36 with food and sugar cookie, hard to
>> >>>>>>> start, medium to do
>> >>>>>>
>> >>>>>> 2022-06-20 2029 22/1:23 65.3F with warmish food, medium-hard
>> >>>>>
>> >>>> 2022-06-21 0942 23/1:35 65.4F with warm food, sugar cookie, and
>> >>>> nutritional yeast, medium
>> >>>>
>> >>> 2022-06-22 1845 long warm + 30/2:30 cool 61.7F hard-easy, food after
>> >>>
>> >> 2022-06-24 0959 2:30 cool medium-easy with sugar cookie, food after
>> >>
>> > 2022-06-25 1501 24/unk cool then long warm then 24/unk cool
>> 2022-06-26 25/1:19 cool, medium-hard
>
>
> 2022-06-26 1940 24/1:20 63.1F with food, medium-hard

2022-06-27 1137 food w/out cold water

i got and warmed some food, but it was hard to go into the cold water
so I ate some to help. it warmed me some but i still did not go in. i
turned the water on hot without going in, and it began getting very
hot, and i started exercising until i was breathing hard from the
exercise. i still did not want to go into the cold water, and wasn't
sure how to get myself to, even when it was all steamy.

i think i strengthened the inhibition fighting it. it's been building
for some days, and is associated with a longer period under colder
water.

a plus today is that when i decided to do this, i engaged willpower
like with bracing against the cold, and got myself there with intent
to do it. that was a big success for me. maybe it made the pressure
stronger later, not sure.

plan: continue associating with food, but drop time to very short. it
feels like it would be almost fine to do a very short time.
goal: it would be nice to also do this associated with other things i
do a lot, like sleeping or peeing[ or using a technological device.]