[spam][wrong][joke][crazy] MC Iguana

[Karl]

A: My pet iguana is mind controlling me.
B: No.  Iguanas don't do that
A: For real

A: [sits down next to iguana]
iguana: [twitches slightly]
A: [eyes glaze over]
A: YES MASTER I WILL FEED YOU.

B: Um.
A: It's okay.  He's been mind controlling me for some time now.

A: [gets food]

--

C: We must free this poor person from their iguana.
B: They said it's okay.
C: Would you ever trust a slave who said they were okay?
A: [has just come into room]
A: I just meant like, I wasn't being injured, and was used to it.
A: Is it bad?
B: I dunno.  What is it like, being mind controlled 'by your iguana'?
A: Whenever I am near the iguana, I zone out and listen, I can barely help it.
A: All of me is focused on the iguana.  Nothing else mat--
B: Ok.  Um.

--

B: C, OBEY: Do not ask what the iguana asks.
C: I WILL NOT ASK.

--

B: [sits near iguana]
B: So, it, um, doesn't affect you when you are away from the iguana?
A: No!
B: YES MASTER I WILL FEED YOU.

--

Epilogue:
The iguana was making money for somebody on a social network.
It is soon upgrading to a robot of its very own.