Fwd: Blofeld found near Corralito's stop licensed to kill stop eyes only stop

[Matthew X]

>
>Subject: Blofeld found near Corralito's stop licensed to kill stop eyes 
>only stop
>Backgound for Infiltration purposes.
>Adventures of Fluffy, American Dissident Cat;
>(September 9) It's started again. Early in the morning some idiot starts 
>ringing my doorbell. It was ringing and ringing and ringing, and I knew 
>right away it was one of the Geriatric Gestapo of the Neighborhood Watch 
>Association. They're the only ones that would do it - ring five or six 
>times in a row like that. And sure enough it was - complaining about the 
>Fluffster. Anyway Fluffy the cat was over at the golf club parking lot, 
>where he likes to hang out with all the Cadillacs and their American flags 
>that the Geriatric Gestapo like to put on their cars. The Fluffster has 
>gotten into the habit of tearing the flags off of them.
>
>To him, it's just something to play with. The flags are blowing in the 
>breeze, and the cat gets on top of the cars. He takes his paws and grabs 
>at the flag and his claws get stuck in the flag. Then in order to get his 
>claws out, he will literally tear the flag right off the little wooden 
>pole. His claws get stuck in there because they're all cheap little 
>seventy-nine cent American flags - made in China, of course. They're just 
>stapled on to the wood. So the Fluffster, in order to get his claws out, 
>has to tear the flag off the pole. And people are thinking he's doing it 
>on purpose. These oldsters are convinced that I've trained him to do it on 
>purpose because I told them so. I've told them that the Fluffster is a 
>duly enlightened cat, and he's doing his part to prevent the spread of 
>"Dangerous Blind Patriotism."
>
>I put his little army helmet on today and he's all set. He's got a 
>miniature army helmet I bought him through this cat mail order place. They 
>sell all sorts of stuff for cats. The Fluffster actually seems to like it. 
>It's a little green plastic helmet with webbing over it and it looks 
>exactly like a World War II helmet and it has places for his ears. It says 
>the Big Red One on it and it has a little elastic that goes under his 
>chin. It doesn't seem to bother him and he doesn't try to pull it off, but 
>then, of course, he's half stoned all the time.
>
>He eats catnip incessantly. He'll go through a bag of it in no time. I 
>used to give him just a teaspoon of organically grown fresh catnip a day. 
>It's good for the cat's bowels and urinary tract. It evidently keeps them 
>regular like bran flakes for people. I kept giving him more and more and 
>then I thought I'll just give him the whole bag. He's an All American Cat. 
>He's stoned all day on catnip. His eyes are always glazed over and he's 
>having a hell of a time.
>
>Catnip is to Cats what Jack Daniels and Prozac is to the Bush Family.
>
>So he's out there this morning with his little helmet on, tearing the 
>flags off the Geriatrics' Cadillacs. The old people actually believe me 
>when I tell them that I've trained him to do this and that the Fluffster 
>is doing his part so the Geriatric Gestapo don't succumb to "Dangerous 
>Blind Patriotism." And, of course, none of them want to hear that.
>
>So now I've been told that for every seventy-nine cent American flag "Made 
>in China" that he pulls down, we'll get fined five dollars. They're just 
>fine happy and they just love it because the fines go into the clubhouse 
>fund to support the geriatric exercise room where they're now learning the 
>goose-step. Instead of aerobics, they have Goose Stepping 101. You don't 
>know how wild the Neighborhood Watch Association seniors can get. (See 
>previous story on "Close Encounters With Neighborhood Watch")
>
>Their biggest problem is that their brittle belief systems, from the time 
>when they were young, are all calcified -- and they're collapsing all 
>around them. Since their minds have long since atrophied, they go into 
>this numb way of living, so they're just numb to everything. It's like 
>All-Natural Prozac, and they all hang out with each other because they're 
>all equally naïve and provincial. They all take the senior citizen shuttle 
>bus to Wal-Mart for the Thursday double discount seniors' day. Loaded with 
>their trading stamp booklets and every discount card in the world, they go 
>driving around in their electric three wheelers. They bang into each other 
>and their false teeth come out. More of them have lost their false teeth 
>at Wal-Mart banging into each other than you can imagine. It's like 
>Dodge-Em Cars or Bumper Cars in this place. And that's what it looks like 
>because none of them can half see anymore. Their eye-hand coordination is 
>pretty well gone. You go into the Wal-Mart and it looks like a bunch of 
>oldsters playing Bumper Cars and then when one of them drives onto the 
>other, they yell and cry out, "Whiplash" and "I'm going to get my lawyer."
>
>And they actually have ads on the back of the bus benches in front of the 
>place from every ambulance-chasing lawyer in town. The one I love is 
>called Rosenberg Rosenthal Rosencrantz and Rosenwitz. That's the name of 
>the law firm. They have the most prominent ad and it shows a picture of 
>two oldsters banging into each other in the dodge em cars. One of them has 
>whiplash and a neck brace and the other one has lost his false teeth and 
>his hearing aid has popped out and got run over. And another oldster in 
>back is saying, "If you've suffered an injury in the dodge em cars, call 
>the attorneys at Rosenberg Rosenthal Rosencrantz and Rosenwitz. We have a 
>combined hundred years experience in ambulance chasing."
>
>This is just the latest episode in the ongoing adventures of the 
>Almeister, the machinations of Fluffster and Company and the 
>Goose-Stepping Geriatric Gestapo Neighborhood Watch Asssociation. It 
>almost sounds like a TV show.
>
>MORE ON
>www.almartinraw.com
COMING SOON: An actual unretouched photograph of the Fluffster complete 
with his Commie red collar and his Chinese Commie green ID tag.