Detweiler, Vulis, Toto, John Young, and mattd

[mattd]

 >>. A joke beats a wise statement any day of the week for
content, style and performance. <<
Great post JYA!
 >>>WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? >>> >>> >>> From the Human 
Resources/Training Perspective: >>> The chicken had a vision. The chicken 
was proficient in the core >>> competencies necessary to implement the plan 
and make the vision >>> reality. >>> >>> Pat Buchanan: >>> To steal a job 
from a decent, hard-working American. >>> >>> Machiavelli: >>> The point is 
that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The >>> ends of crossing 
the road justify whatever motive there was. >>> >>> Thomas de 
Torquemada: >>> Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find 
out. >>> >>> Timothy Leary: >>> Because that's the only kind of trip the 
Establishment would let >>> it take. >>> >>> Carl Jung: >>> The confluence 
of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that >>> individual chickens 
cross roads at this historical juncture, and, >>> therefore, 
synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being. >>> >>> John 
Locke: >>> Because he was exercising his natural right to liberty. >>> >>> 
Albert Camus: >>> It doesn't matter; the chicken's actions have no meaning 
except to >>> him. >>> >>> Fox Mulder: >>> It was a government 
conspiracy. >>> >>> Darwin: >>> Chickens, over great periods of time, have 
been naturally selected >>> in such a way that they are now genetically 
dispositioned to cross >>> roads. >>> >>> Darwin #2: >>> It was the logical 
next step after coming down from the trees. >>> >>> Richard M. Nixon: >>> 
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not >>> cross 
the road. >>> >>> Oliver Stone: >>> The question is not "Why did the 
chicken cross the road?" but is >>> rather "Who was crossing the road at 
the same time whom we >>> overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken 
crossing?" >>> >>> Jerry Seinfeld: >>> Why does anyone cross a road? I 
mean, why doesn't anyone ever >>> think to ask, "What the heck was this 
chicken doing walking around >>> all over the place anyway?" >>> >>> The 
Pope: >>> That is only for God to know. >>> >>> Louis Farrakhan: >>> The 
road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken >>> crossed the 
"black man" in order to trample him and keep him down. >>> >>> Martin 
Luther King, Jr.: >>> I envision a world where all chickens will be free to 
cross roads >>> without having their motives called into question. >>> >>> 
Immanuel Kant: >>> The chicken, being an autonomous being, chose to cross 
the road of >>> his own free will. >>> >>> Grandpa: >>> In my day, we 
didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone >>> told us that the 
chicken had crossed the road, and that was good >>> enough for us. >>> >>> 
Dirk Gently (Holistic Detective): >>> I'm not exactly sure why, but right 
now I've got a horse in my >>> bathroom. >>> >>> Bill Gates: >>> I have 
just released the new Chicken 2000, which will both cross >>> roads AND 
balance your checkbook, though when it divides 3 by 2 it >>> gets 
1.4999999999. >>> >>> M.C.Escher: >>> That depends on which plane of 
reality the chicken was on at the >>>time. >>> >>> George Orwell: >>> 
Because the government had fooled him into thinking that he was >>> 
crossing the road of his own free will, when he was really only >>> serving 
their interests. >>> >>> Plato: >>> For the greater good. >>> >>> 
Aristotle: >>> To actualize its potential. >>> >>> Karl Marx: >>> It was a 
historical inevitability. >>> >>> Nietzsche: >>> Because if you gaze too 
long across the Road, the Road gazes also >>> across you. >>> >>> B.F. 
Skinner: >>> Because the external influences, which had pervaded its 
sensorium >>> from birth, had caused it to develop in such a fashion that 
it >>> would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to >>> 
be of its own freewill. >>> >>> Jean-Paul Sartre: >>> In order to act in 
good faith and be true to itself, the chicken >>> found it necessary to 
cross the road. >>> >>> Albert Einstein: >>> Whether the chicken crossed 
the road or the road crossed the >>> chicken depends upon your frame of 
reference. >>> >>> Pyrrho the Skeptic: >>> What road? >>> >>> The 
Sphinx: >>> You tell me. >>> >>> Buddha: >>> If you ask this question, you 
deny your own chicken nature. >>> >>> Emily Dickenson: >>> Because it could 
not stop for death. >>> >>> Ralph Waldo Emerson: >>> It didn't cross the 
road; it transcended it. >>> >>> Ernest Hemingway: >>> To die. In the 
rain. >>> >>> Saddam Hussein: >>> This was an unprovoked act of rebellion 
and we were quite >>> justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on 
it. >>> >>> Saddam Hussein #2: >>> It is the Mother of all 
Chickens. >>> >>> Joseph Stalin: >>> I don't care. Catch it. I need its 
eggs to make my omelette. >>> >>> Dr. Seuss: >>> Did the chicken cross the 
road? >>> Did he cross it with a toad? >>> Yes the chicken crossed the 
road, >>> but why it crossed it, I've not been told! >>> >>> Colonel 
Sanders: >>> I missed one?