[cddlm] FW: [ggf-editor | Submit GGF Draft - 1558] CDDLM Deployment APIs

Tue Aug 30 11:48:28 CDT 2005

Hi Steve,

Below is the feedback we received from GGF editor. Will you be able to
look at these? Is there anything that you need help with from the team?

These are primarily minor, editorial things, he gives you credits for
your work! Congratulations!

Thanks,

Dejan.

-----Original Message-----
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Sent: Tuesday, August 30, 2005 10:03 AM
To: dejan at hpl.hp.com
Subject: [ggf-editor | Submit GGF Draft - 1558] CDDLM Deployment APIs

Greg Newby changed 1558 on 2005-08-30 09:02:48

Status has changed: - New: 'Returned to Author(s)'   Old: 'Initial
Editor Review'
Priority has changed: - New: '4'   Old: '5'
Assigned To has changed: - New: 'John Tollefsrud'   Old: 'Greg Newby'
Group has changed: - New: 'Management'   Old: 'old-SRM'
Resolution has changed: - New: 'Remind'   Old: '<None>'

Respond by visiting:
https://forge.gridforum.org/tracker/?func=detail&atid=414&aid=1558&group
_id=90
(https://forge.gridforum.org/tracker/?func=detail&atid=414&aid=1558&grou
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Summary: CDDLM Deployment APIs
Project: EDITOR
Tracker: Submit GGF Draft
Artifact ID: 1558
Category: Recommendations Track
Group: Management
Status: Returned to Author(s)
Resolution: Remind
Priority: 4
Last Modified By: Greg Newby
Last Modified: 2005-08-30 09:02:48
Submitted By: Dejan
Submit Date: * 2005-07-07 05:56:49
Assigned To: John Tollefsrud
File(s): ggf-cddlm-deploy-api.doc
Description: 
This document describes CDDLM Deployment APIs. The CDDLM framework needs
a deployment API for callers to deploy services described in the
component model languages. This API must support remote access for
deployment, terminating existing deployed systems, and for probing their
state. This document defines the WS-Resource Framework-based deployment
API for performing such tasks. It is targeted at those who implement
either end of the API.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Comment By: Greg Newby (2005-08-30 09:02:48) Thanks for this submission.
I have several items I would like to be fixed or responded to before
moving this document to the next phase of the review process.

First is that the header states this is an informational track document
(GWD-I), but the tracker has Recommendations track submitted.  Which is
the intent of the working group?

For these other comments, use the template in the Editor tracker, or a
recently published GGF document, as an example:

Second, please fill in the compete information for the 13 Editor
section.

Third, "12 Security" should be "12 Security Considerations."

Fourth, the references nearly all need a lot of work.  References need
to be complete:
- author (or corporate author)
- title and (if applicable) volume
- publication location (for online sources, the publisher/organization's
location)

For online materials, they may only be cited in the References section
if they are persistent documents - not to Web sites or other transient
content.  For citation fo something like a WG's homepage or
organization, use an inline reference or footnote, for example, in text:
"The Global Grid Forum (http://www.ggf.org)," instead of putting the
hyperlink in the References section.

I don't think *any* of the references are complete, and several are
simply hyperlinks that don't belong in the References section.

Here is the rule of thumb for references: you need to provide sufficient
information so that a future reader (say, in 10 years) can use your
reference to find the exact same document you used in your authoring.
If it seems unlikely the same document will be available (for example,
because a Web page will have changed), then this might be a better
candidate for inline citation or a footnote.

Fifth, the GGF logo, copyright statement and IP notice are misplaced
(see the sample documents), and you don't need to include the logo.

Sixth, page footers are missing except on the first page (they don't
need to be on the first page, but should be on the other pages).  Email
address, also page number.

Seventh, the Status and Abstract headings don't match the rest of the
document, or the GGF's other samples.

I'm sorry for this big list of changes.  As you see, none of them are
focused on the content -- it's all about the presentation & formatting,
consistently with the GGF standards.

I did read the content, too -- to me, this appears to be a well-written
document, and presents valuable information.
Once you have re-submitted with the above suggestions addressed, we'll
continue to advance it through the editor pipeline as specified in
GFD-C.1.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

View the Submit GGF Draft :
https://forge.gridforum.org/tracker/index.php?func=browse&group_id=90&at
id=414
(https://forge.gridforum.org/tracker/index.php?func=browse&group_id=90&a
tid=414)

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