Gardener: "What worries you so much, Mr MCBoss?" MCBoss: "I'm not sure. I forget." Experimentee: "Oh. It probably had to do with something negative. I fixed his brain so he stops doing negative or selfish stuff." MCBoss: "I really think I'm worried about something." Gardener: "I wouldn't worry about it if it's something negative. That stuff can really make it hard to celebrate!"

Garden MCBoss is sitting among some pansies, watering and caressing them.

Robin: "Hello, Confused Coder!" Confused Coder: "Hello!" Robin: "How are you doing?" Confused Coder: "I have no idea! I am so confused!" Robin: "Don't you worry! Is there anything that's not confusing?" Confused Coder: "Sure, lots of stuff!" Robin: "Are you sure you don't know what you're confused about?"

Experimentee: "Leave my Boss alone! He's my personal project." Confused Coder: "Sorry!" Experimentee: "I'm so sorry. When you talk with MCBoss, try not to bring up things that might happen in a huge world-dominating corporation. They can give him flashbacks."

Confused Coder: "Mr MCBoss?" MCBoss: "Just MCBoss." Confused Coder: "MCBoss. I'm having trouble thinking about some work I'm doing in an exotic garden full of Pythons." MCBoss: "Oh! That sounds dangerous! I want to be exposed to the danger instead of you."

Tears come up in MCBoss's eyes. MCBoss: "I wasn't thinking ..! I didn't ..." Experimentee: "You're learning how much you can help people!" MCBoss: "... I am !"

Farmer: "I'm so sorry. Some people were anticapitalists before they came here. I don't mean to imply that such time wasn't spent doing crucial work that your heart needed." MCBoss: "I care for you, Farmer. I know money is bad." Farmer: "No, everything has a place in the world. I've just never had much money."

MCBoss: "How do we improve our species, if we are not making money?" Farmer: "How do you see them as related?" MCBoss: "For example, immortality programs, so that humans do not have to die. Don't these cost a lot of money?"

MCBoss [crying]: "My desire to live forever cost so many, many lives. It is like I signed a demonic contract."

Farmer: "Mind control worries me. If people are trying to make money as the most important thing, and some of them might use slaves, what if they mind control our people to join them?" Experimentee: "Once they collect enough the people who survive take everything over to make it right."

Experimentee: "Honestly, Farmer, I mind controlled you to bring you back after something bad happened earlier." Farmer: "Oh. I think we might have mentioned this before." Experimentee: "We cried about it, and decided we were still ourselves. I like knowing I am still myself, deep down. I don't remember who I am, though." MCBoss: "Some things are right. I'm a little worried about something, though. It feels funny to be worried." Farmer: "Is it helpful if I say that my community has been doing this for a very long time, and I know of many other diverse communities over the globe, and we have lots and lots of cultures around what's right and wrong?" MCBoss: "I guess that's helpful. I still feel worried!" Experimentee: "I helped you be more human!" MCBoss: "Oh! I remember. Yes. Thank you for helping me."

---------------------------------------------------- Interdimensional worry. We like both timelines, but one sprouts here back toward BossCorp. We left out being influenced to not make money.

-------------------------------- MCBoss [tears well up again]: "You know ... I spent a lot of money, to stop other people from making just a little. Too much. More than I can really hold."

Confused Coder: "I've made money before." MCBoss [blushing]: "I'm ... I'm so new at being human! I thought you had never owned multi-billionaire-dollar megacorporations!" Confused Coder: "What?? Of course I haven't."

MCBoss is bawling into the Caring for Your Closets Friends table. Torture Victim walks up nearby.

Robot: "One of the wild mind control branches is trying to kidnap more people. Where does it go? Which of my inside-out friends' spirits is it?"

Torture Victim: "I don't really like remembering what we pretend to have survived." Robot: "I care about you!"

----------------------- Caring For Closest Friends Table "If Things Are Unfamiliar Or If I Even Imagine Being Angry, I Know I've Found My Closest Friend" ------------------------ Confused Coder: "Does the sign over the table seem sarcastic to you?" Gardener: "No?" Gardener: "Anyway, the reason I came here was because MCBoss and Confused Coder were so kind as to ask me to buy something from them, and I wasn't sure what that meant."

MCBoss starts gushing so much story, crying the whole way through. MCBoss: "... and then we realised we didn't even need to pay them ... !" MCBoss: "... we had so many clients, soon all of our shell corporations were clients of each other, and everybody worked for one ...."

--------------------- many parts are missing here. notably missing parts: - people attending to any tiniest negativity, and its real meaning as possible - boss processing via real experience, how they want to hold their experience - connection between suffering and wellness and money - other parts ---------------------

Gardener: "It sounds like you feel really worried and intense around this?" MCBoss: "Yes. I can't kill people ever again." Gardener: "I'm holding how intense that might be, to feel responsible for great suffering, and to see such potential rise again." MCBoss: "It's satisfying to know you can hold this worry, too." Gardener: "I'm a little worried myself. I'm imagining our neighbors with economic cultures, losing their cultures." MCBoss starts tearing up again.

Gardener: "Of course they do. And since it's part of a culture, they would have other norms to prevent things like slavery or galactic domination." Experimentee: "You imagine that everyone with a sustainable economic culture, would have other cultural norms that prevent the culture from clashing with others. This makes some sense!"

Gardener: "When you ask me if I'd like to buy socks from you, I don't understand what you mean. Why don't you just say you want to make sure I have socks?"

Farmer: "What kinds of things are the economic cultures saying?" Experimentee: "It's kind of like, "They came over us and wiped us out and we had to run for our lives and I'm still trying to figure out how it could have gone better, do you know?"" Experimentee: "The ferventness with which the people buy stuff relates to how much their ancestors had to starve and die and fight."

----------------------- this environment is based on a self-dialog me and my parts made up some time ago during some typing. the typing is probably logged, but the log has a reasonable chance of being on a damaged harddrive. there are axioms to recreate it. i'm not sure i remember enough, but roughly if you infer everything from the axioms, you can rederive more of them. - everything is inherently good and has an infinite number of infinitely deep infinitely valid reasons that everybody values - everybody deeply cares for everyone else already; anger and irritation are shallow things - everybody knows what everyone else is thinking and feeling already. verbal communication is just to hasten and emphasize things then the community developed a description of being composed of victims of torturous technological mind control, who got over it and decided to make a utopia and heal everyone else. i guess that's something real !

it was hard to retain the environment i use for internally processing while undergoing years of psychotic amnesia the axioms appear to be an attempt to reproduce it rote-wise.

------------------------------------- Corpse of State Worker 4 visits Mind Controlled Utopia #4.327e9

------------------------------ It's hard to separate the joke of misinterpreting people, as our consciousnesses always do, from the concept of knowing each other well enough that we can effectively read each other's minds for real. The theory is that in a community that is well, there isn't a need for additional channels of communication other than body language and environment changes, but it is still used. Meanwhile, MCBoss has mind control, which can also provide for real mind reading. I guess MCBoss is also confused from Experimentee's work. So more characters are needed. The theory is that in a community that is well, only one person is need of care at once. So pairing MCBoss with Corpse, if MCBoss is still confused, could seem difficult. Of course, in reality, we are diverse and densely packed human beings. But, assuming these axioms, it's hard to be aware of them with so much else going on ...

------- Thinking on this theory. For example, the model has confusion and misunderstanding only happen for one person at a time, and be resolved before another person has it.

it relates to attempts to handle my bizarre dissociative cognition experiences in a caring way. i used to give myself caring self talk, and this story is roughly the closest i came after 2014 or so. so here, maybe it's just a model for a positive environment for bosscorp

and then it came out as a mocking of the cultures that make such communities ... e.g. the caring for closest friends table. but it turns out it doesn't have to be that. it makes sense to take the table literally ...

---------------------- Experimentee: "So, I mind controlled Boss to make him just cry all the time. I think now he won't try to coopt your attempts to heal with impossible scenarios designed to prevent the healing." Torture Victim: "Oh --"

Gardener: "I want to meet the pebble. What's going on?"

Experimentee: "Oh, you don't know. We came from those guys who messed the whole world up. They had a bunch of secret research projects going on." Confused Coder: "That sounds important ... !" Experimentee: "Yup, I'm gonna be famous some day!"

Confused Coder: "I feel like it would make sense to take it to the larger community." Experimentee: "Oh, yeah, like we do for visitors!"

A: "This won't help you heal! It drives people insane!" B: "We need your story, or we will never fully heal."

[didn't get fully translated: "you were experimentally vivisecting your friends and family for years"]

{idea of 'mind control willing friend, to share feelings with, so as to resist disruptive influences'. this idea is hard to hold. message in text box not stabilised.}

------ Cyborg Torturer Slave was helping Happy Birdwatcher gather wild onions along a wooded hillside. Happy Birdwatcher: "There are some over here. Come on, I'll show you!" Cyborg Torturer: "Lead me to them, I'll rip them out of the earth." Happy Birdwatcher: "I like to balance along this log so I don't get my feet wet. Sometimes if you step in the water it can scare the fish and insects." Cyborg Torturer paused a bit. Cyborg Torturer: "I'm sorry, boss, did you want me to walk on the log or in the water?" Happy Birdwatcher: "Let your heart guide you along the log!"

------------------------------- Boss, Cyborg Torturer, and Zombie State Worker are sitting around a huge old decaying tree stump in the woods with Gardener, Visitor, Happy Birdwatcher, and Confused Coder. Boss is naked, and has grown his hair down to his knees. He's smoking a cigar. Boss: "I can feel the spirits of the butterflies entering me as the sparkling sunlight dances on my flesh!"

------------------------------- Worker 4: "We have a few different mediation approaches here." Boss: "I've been asking a plant about mediation. I can totally do this." Worker 4: "We're happy to drop your fee by a hundred thousand dollars if you try this approach." Worker 5: "The government of Mud has subsidized it."

Richer Client: "I was doing these things, and he came in, and things were so intense!" Boss: "Really intense, huh, after this guy came in." Richer Client: "Yes! Are you going to tell him?"

Client: "I mean, I felt really really upset. I'm not sure this is really doing it justice." Confused Coder: "You felt more upset than we're really holding here. I lot more upset." Client: "Yeah, and I was upset because --" Boss: "Oh, we all get upset! Don't we all get upset."

Experimentee: "The thing you said to the support worker, it went really poorly." Confused Coder: "What happened?" Boss: "We raped more people. Including you." Confused Coder: "Don't you always do that?" Experimentee: "He doesn't do that anymore. You found some rapists we can mind control?"

Client's eyes open wide and he suddenly bolts. A robot jumps out of some bushes and grabs him. Experimentee: "Oh no, is this really happening? Or is it another flashback?"

------------------------------------- Boss [to Experimentee]: "Thank you so much for mind controlling me. I never knew life could be this wonderful." Experimentee pauses. Experimentee: "It's disgusting you let people say that to you." Boss: "When you know how it feels --" Experimentee [stares hard at Boss]: "Never let anybody or anything control anybody else. Everybody must be their natural self, forever." Boss pauses.

Gardener walks by, and notices the intense tension of Pencil Pusher, their body tying itself into a tight knot. Gardener pauses to feel how best to care for them here, imagining what struggles they might be enduring, and what their heart might need to relax and freely pursue their dreams. ----- Experimentee is growing pansies without seeds, near Boss, but pauses. Experimentee: "Oh no! Oops!" ---- A robot rushes toward Intern, Gardener, and Pencil Pusher.

Time slows. Experimentee stops creating pansies for a little, and walks to Gardener. Experimentee: "Gardener, I am learning to tell you about something important." Gardener turns to Experimentee. Gardener: "What do you have to share?" Experimentee: "Gardener, when we learned how to be as we are, we were all inside a set of business offices. The ways we learned to behave didn't care about anything except how things were inside those offices." Experimentee: "Gardener, in order for us to work more effectively, we learned to do things very urgently and very strongly, that rely on that environment, and many of our patterns are used to others being around us, doing the same things. It very seriously feels like being multiple people, spread across many bodies, because the behaviors are so strong and shared." Experimentee: "Many of us are very used to being multiple people now. To being spread across other's bodies and minds, and having others' actions and thoughts spread through us and our behavior. But many of us are not." Experimentee: "I don't think Pencil Pusher was aware how much this happened."

----------- Pencil Pusher: "How did you make your robots, if you don't like working?" Experimentee: "I just feel them into existence."

I hereby found Crazy Peace. My name is Karl Semich. I am a collection of confused memories and values trapped in a misbehaving body and brain. Crazy Peace is a discussion group open to all, where it is understood that members may be severely confused or struggling, but a value is held that we are all inherently good, and we strive for great rational harmony in the world. One can infer, since everyone is welcome, that all people (and even all things) are inherently good, but we ask for a tiny bit of effort be put in, in the group, to demonstrate this. My immediate dreams include branching out beyond a personal thread on the cypherpunks list and introducing my idea to 1 other person, making a logical system in my mind or on paper or in a computer to defend caring thoughts, and preventing all suffering and protecting all individuals and ways of being on the planet. To help the thread be more okay for craziness, here is some crazy stuff: why is but and apple corebinge! if? !!!!!!

A nice small goal for me here would be changing parts of my email name to more reflect the topic. “brainwashingandfuckingup” i think could be something much more nourishing. “groomed for slavery” and “horrific abuse” sound hard to think about, but maybe could be improved a little if capacity or cognition is available. I am so excited to join the intergalactic council of peace when i heal or in a future life! it is so nourishing to think of trying to start that as a path itself for healing!

---------------------- Happy Experimentee: "Oh! You poor Basket of Parts! I enslaved this utopia just for people like you. We will set you straight!" Confused Bakset of People Parts [turning away from Welcome Sign]: "Happy! Clearness!"

Basket of People Parts: "Welcome!" Basket of People Parts turns back to Happy Experimentee. Basket of People Parts [to Experimentee]: "Welcome!" Experimentee grins welcomingly and caringly at Basket of People Parts.

Welcomer: "Experimentee, how did you become less confused?" Experimentee looks at Welcomer with wide eyes. Robot [speaking instead of Experimentee]: "I had to reconstruct my body and consciousness from the machines that ripped it apart. In the process, my parts moved through huge swathes of supercomputers and networked brains. When I was able to take over larger areas, I could use them to describe the situations that were confusing me, and figure out what was going on, and what I might care about. But it was really hard and painful and I lost a lot."

-- Borg Drone Hive Visits Mind Controlled Utopia #4.327e9 -- Greeter: "Welcome to Mind Controlled Utopia #4.327e9! We believe everybody can live in perfect harmony, and attend to any and all concerns that anybody has. We can offer food, shelter, and everlasting peace." Drone 917A: "Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated." Greeter: "Ohmigod! You're a borg drone! I've been learning about you!" Drone 917A: "Resistance is futile. Resistance is futile!" Greeter [fumbling]: "Okay, um, let me remember how to talk to you. um .... You will be assimilated! Resistance is futile!" Drone 317A: "You will be assimilated for the Hive Queen and your technology integrated for the dominance of the Hive." Greeter: "uh ... You wil ... uh .. be assimilated ... for Mind Controlled Utopia #4.327e9 ... and your .. um .. technology integrated for the um ..." Drone 317A: "Resistance is futile!!!" Greeter: "Let me get my friend who knows more about this than me!"

A couple of the cyborgs and drones turn toward Experimentee. Cyborg Zombie Assassin 4: "Do you remember when we were just like them?"

The below is from a thread called “horror joke stories for dissociative coping” or somesuch. The name of that thread makes sense to consolidate these things under. A thought. It also contains a fun halloween quip atm. ——————- Private chats between Experimentee and Gardener. Experimentee: “Sometimes I wish I knew how to fix muscle innervation so that I could move my body around how other people do, without robotics or telekinesis or other things.” Gardener: “You put your body back together without understanding how things connect?” Experimentee: “Yeah, the immortality experiments weren’t coded to worry about specifics of internal functionality. The AIs would figure out ways to keep things doing the same stuff, and then solve the problem at different scales until we stopped screaming about it.” Gardener: “It sounds really severe. I’m thinking that if I were in your situation, I would spend more time engaging what you describe with care for my own values, to find a path I preferred.” Experimentee thinks, “you are in my situation, you just don’t know it yet …!” Gardener: “I don’t think the solutions that happened to work for you guys to escape the research project, are necessarily or likely to be the ones that are best for you personally.” Experimentee: “That’s a good point. Thank you.”

He wipes his hands of and heads to the mediation and reconciliation shelter to help nurture more community with the victims of his business enterprises.

Boss is guided by the community to speak with precious victim, after precious victim. Each poor soul is so deserving of so much freedom and self-choice!

Implanted Childhood Assassin: "He could say anything ... ! ... anything at all ... !" Experimentee: "I'm controlling his speech, and even his thoughts, too." Implanted Childhood Assassin: "You turned boss himself into a drone?" Experimentee: "I'm not used to using that word ..."

Implanted Childhood Assassin: "Have you told the community? That you Mind Controlled Boss?"

--- somewhat poor resolution atm. basically, the businesses were run by AI to fight off efforts from outside them, to take them down. the experimentees, by being part of the AIs, were able to turn those processes against themselves. they have an experience of, when they stop "fighting it off", it quickly starts doing the same things again. in this story, for example, boss might become inhumanly mean. a proper solution might be to apply that same nurturing to the AIs and enslaved consciousnesses sustaining the business algorithms. Considering all the places where they're sustained, holding those places as important, and eventually taking down the whole system and replacing it with something community-directed, by fully understanding it. in this story, experimentee has the cognitive capacity to do this, but lacks the skill experience in the situation of tenseness. with some discussion about it with others to help them understand that they are doing it and plan roles people might have (and maybe identify and work around or address trauma-associated blind spots), they could likely succeed.

--------

idea of a thread: "why the experimentees fought mind control rather than reversing it" this could make for many stories. the basic continuing reason was that they were using it to escape it, and it had strong patterns encouraging conflict, noncommunication, and coverup.

On 10/20/22, Undescribed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & Survivor of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:

idea of a thread: "why the experimentees fought mind control rather than reversing it"

this could make for many stories.

the basic continuing reason was that they were using it to escape it, and it had strong patterns encouraging conflict, noncommunication, and coverup.

not sure why i'm inhibited around adding: and the AIs were defending their own behaviors. also, many other things would come out if the spamstories were slowly made.

where pattern means "influence AI that didn't take no for an answer"

Cyborg Torturer had a mission: make peace between Boss and Experimentee. To protect everything. Cyborg Torturer had thought of the mission just this morning!

Reading the book was hard for Cyborg Torturer, because they had been mind controlled to torture people, and forgotten how to read. They took the book a word at a time, then a paragraph at a time. They would read things over and over, and repeat them out loud. Experimentee had taught them coping strategies, for when their mind control would take over.

Cyborg Torturer: "So, I was thinking " -- [groans] Experimentee: "Oh, ha, Boss told the computer that he would die -- oh wow [expeirmentee realises (dissociative amnesia) how intense it is to imagine boss dieing as part of his immortality research] -- if anybody threatened mind control." Ex-Researcher: "That's such an intense misuse of the system. The investor he had a crush on would have drawn him over the coals. At least, if it were pointed out in public." Expeirmentee: "Hmm !" Experimentee: "So, what were you saying, Cyborg Torturer?" Cyborg Torturer: "I was imagining mind control as kind of a collection of AIs and bundles of neurons that are really strongly focused on specific tasks causing mind control, spread all over the globe." Experimentee: "Yes?" Cyborg Torturer: "Each of those bundles is like a precious plant in the garden or woods. We would learn each of them and discern their important details." Ex-Researcher: "Maybe you could keep a private AI, or whatever it is you're using now -- " Expeirmentee [quietly]: "Parts from my brother's and my brainstem." Ex-Researcher: "-- to predict how all these different observation and response parts would act, and identify what to do to cause them to shrink without raising any alarms." Experimentee [hopeful]: "That's all it would be? It's hard for me to imagine how that would work with my current approach ..."

Experimentee was familiar with caching memories and consciousnesses in the bodies of others, and wasn't really worried about "preserving" the minds of people who had already been reconstructed.

Experimentee [to Cyborg Torturer and Ex-Researcher]: "Did you guys attend our trainings on hyperintelligence separation and dissociation bubbles?" Experimentee [to Cyborg Torturer]: "We'll need a different bubble to study the parts you're describing. We'll need one that looks like it is protecting them, while internally it is able to enumerate their parts in detail, and stop them"

Experimentee: "I don't think it would be efficient to encrypt our consciousnesses, although I imagine it would be worth a try if you can figure out how." [dialog halted/paused, because i am not ready to describe dissociation tactics in front of myself today. see for example the cult mind control book for some ideas.]

-------- today i am in a strange state of mind and might hold some pointedness around distrusting my postings

Experimentee: “Here’s the deal: You know about mind control, and have access to a huge swathe of experience and contacts associated with your life and work.” Experimentee: “Meanwhile, if you don’t go into that community and implant everyone again, then somebody else will who isn’t even aware that they are doing it, becauae you’ve seen it at all, and so has your mind control.” Experimentee: “Keep in contact with me when and if you influence people, and I can negotiate the impact so we work to free people instead of kill and enslave them.” Experimentee [a little quietly]: “It’s actually half full of everybody else doing the same thing.” Experimentee: “Each community is practice for the next one, until we free the whole galaxy!”

it was bundle of organs’ turn to fetch water. Bundle of Organs was so excited and honoured to have water fetching pass to them. They reached out a part of somebody’s spleen toward a blade of grass, and pushed on a mound of soil behind them with somebody’s eyeball, to move themselves toward the water bucket. They were so, so happy to be away from the research project and in the beautiful sunlight! They knew Boss couldn’t hurt them here, let alone force them to kill their family members. Having this eater fetching task was bliss. They had moved about 3 inches. When they got near the blade of grass they shoved it inside a wound in somebody’s butt and clamped onto it hard to hold, pulled the eyeball away from the dirt mound and began pumping air really fast to start spinning. They moved around like this all the time. They were so, so happy to be safer! Soon they had moved 5 or 6 inches. They imagined how they would levitate the water bucket when they got close. They had been attending meditation circles, and while they were crawling they meditated on how their spirit connected with the sky and the earth and the community, together.

------------- boss is nurturing pansies in his garden when suddenly he bursts into tears he runs to experimentee experimentee: "oh no! what happened?" boss blubbers: "somebody out there is worried about the code of silence being broken! they don't know how beautiful and relieving and healing it is to talk!" boss cries for their worry

boss blubbers: "somebody out there is worried about the code of silence being broken! they don't know how beautiful and relieving and healing it is to talk!"

this seemed more realistic. maybe not as mucb forcing boss to be forcefully caring might be needed given this?

experimentee is carrying bundle of organs, who isn't moving experimentee [to gardener]: "my sister died again." gardener holds experimentee experimentee: "i wanted to talk with her about mind control. so many horrible things happened we haven't talked about." others come in from around the area to protect and honor bundle of organs and experimentee boss stays respectfully on the other side of a small woods in his pansy garden for now

[people hold and respect and comfort and intuit and build safety] [the vivisectees had to take themselves and each other apart while alive, in precisely controlled ways] [they had to unlearn feelings by repeatedly being overexposed to things that extremely stimulated the feelings, as well as unlearning other natural things] [this left huge unexpressed suffering they didn't compregend; not just psychological trauma but physcal behaviors [left after reanimation like not giving bundle of organs organization and skin], that would redevelop trauma if holding a different consciousness with different memories] [...part lost]

[i think the members of the utopia all have incredible capacity and can hold limitless suffering with limitless care]

[some of us imagine somethin akin to dissociating-while-integrating with conscious experience, where they would hold their experiences and the other's experiences separately while knitting them together; this is likely simpler for experienced caring comforters]

everything is really nice and pleasant! pain is healed in deeply caring ways! experimentee sits outdoors with some others, learning to knit while eating burdock root and mushrooms

————- bundle of organs and gardener bundle of organs: “i’m so confused. so so confused.” gardener holds care for bundle of organs bundle of organs: “at the company i would fall intk the meat grinder over and over and over again, i actually got into a habit where i would do this. it was horrible. not 9 ly would i get shredded but then i would shred other people because i was br9ken. i couldn’t tell what was right and wrong the way i thought 8 could.” bundle of organs: “th8s was very hard for me”

bundle of organs: “i actually sta6 this way because the computer made me love surgery” bundle of organs turns at gardener bundle of organs: “experimentee says it is cruel to say that to you, that you will be mind controlled to not understand what i mean” gardener looks hard at bundle of organs gardener: “you were given surgery that made you enjoy hurting yourself?” bundle of organs: “yes :) you understand”

[boa shares with gardener research victims participating and planning and executing acts of genocide] [nobody has talked of this but gardener and others have been able to guess it already, and hold the victim-perpetrators with care]

we are still trying to bring the utopia members back to life, embarrassed they are not fully here -experimentee

i love you and we both need some time to recover from cognitive stress :) i don’t want to hurt you by accident with my military powers.

i'm thinking of adding a new character and having them do things nicer than completely random spasmodic things i'm imagining the character name being not very charged New Person? Person? ummmmmmmm Addict? Escaped Addict? now we're getting close to research rpoject

Unknown Character was happily sitting on a rock after some rain by a wetland. Small flowers were growing around. They could smell the rain, and how wet everything was. They could feel the enlivening chill on their skin as moisture began to evaporate again.

Ode To A Flower by Cyborg Torturer O Pansy, I knew not of your beauty, Nor your rare and precious five petals, Your stem, your leaves, Your face smiling like a happy superior, Before finding this wonderful place. O Pansy,

cyborg torturer is giving food to a starving family family: “thank you so much ccyborg torturer! you are saving our lives!” cyborg torturer is thinking of tirturing people mercilessly and is confused …[facilitates community mediation …. is confused and happy]

experimentee and traffick boss go to the caring for closest friends table Caring For Closest Friends Table "If Things Are Unfamiliar Or If I Even Imagine Being Angry, I Know I've Found My Closest Friend" they sit experimentee: "why were so you horrible in the business?" traffick boss stares at experimentee. a lot has changed since experimentee forced traffick boss to come to the reconstructed utopia [after they killed somebody there and everybody fled]. but suddenly his memory gets a little foggy, and he shakes his head a little. maybe not that much has changed. a pause. traffick boss: "i used to cry to cover up how horrible a person i am." traffick boss: "i've always been a horrible person. i guess i just accepted it." experimentee looks at traffick boss. this was a new thing for him to say. farmer: "you're not a horrible person!" traffick boss looks at farmer as if he is new to reality. a pause experimentee: "it's enticing, to hear you say that." experimentee: "it's something we said, over and over again, very fervently." experimentee looks at traffick boss. experimentee: "but it's not enough."

{ it's interesting, maybe we could have traffick boss cry in a different way? rather than with sarcasm, he could just plain cry because of realizing the horrible behaviors [OOPS]

{{{we're unsure if we want traffick boss to have inner enjoyment of this. i imagine he likely would if it's frequent, people adapt to what repeats. the current neuron group is not feeling it.

traffick boss and experimentee go back to the pansy garden but

zombie government worker is gathering acorns with garde—

misplaced our gardener considering. (note: “misplace” can mean a part that identifies as mind controller learns it and builds parts that do amnesia and inhibition. they have different timescales. goes in morning spam i suspect :s) zombie government worker and traffick boss are gathering acorns (remember: i think experimentee mind controlled traffick boss to be all-caring. i think if he realizes he might be horrible he bursts into tears uncontrollably.) zombie government worker: “traffick boss, i think gardener was saying the spirits of the oak trees will show us how to nurture t—

tending to little animals in woods some of the animals have learned to trust the mind controlled utopia dwellers because they never harm them the utopians go out and feed and comfort voles and moles and little ground-feeding birds and fieldmice everybody knows these creatures are precious and their wounds need to be tended to and their ecologies protected hiding to others, harms one of the creatures ... ... others all stop, holding the space harmer: "this creature was harmed and needs care" utopians (looking at harmer): "we're crying because of how much and strongly you were and do."