On Sun, Jun 26, 2022, 8:56 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly to the >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> list >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> again. >> >>>>>>>> i >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> started >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> by just logging time spent on planning and >> thinking about >> >>>>>>>> it. >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> after >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> two attempts i was able to do it rather than >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> think >> about >> >>>>>>>> it, with >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> effort. >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold water >> after warm >> >>>>>>>> water, >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> hard >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm, 10 >> seconds cold. >> >>>>>>>> easy. >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> food after. >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with food >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after medium-easy >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> >> >>>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-easy >> >>>>>>>> >>>>> >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food after >> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> medium-easy >> >>>>>>>> >>>> >> >>>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after medium-hard >> >>>>>>>> >>> >> >>>>>>>> >> 2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after medium-hard >> >>>>>>>> >> >> >>>>>>>> > 2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food >> >>>>>>>> >> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food after, medium-easy >> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after, medium-easy, >> outdoors >> >>>>>>> >> >>>>>>> 2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, irrational state of >> mind, >> >>>>>> indoors >> >>>>>> >> >>>>> 2022-06-16 1502 69F 20/1:25cold 68F food after, easy, indoors >> >>>>> >> >>>> 2022-06-17 1051 21/1:04cold 67.4F food after, medium-easy, >> indoors >> >>>> >> >>> 2022-06-17 1929 unk warm, 22/1:20 cold, 58.8F, food after, >> >>> medium, >> >>> indoors >> >>> >> >> 2022-06-18 0921 53.7F 22/1:12 cold with food medium-hard >> >> >> > 2022-06-18 1653 53.7F 22/1:20 cold with hot food medium >> >> 2022-06-19 0736 56.4F 12/:30 cold + 22/1:15 cold with warm food, >> medium-hard > > >> 2022-06-20 0547 61.7F 22/1:36 with food and sugar cookie, hard to >> start, medium to do > > 2022-06-20 2029 22/1:23 65.3F with warmish food, medium-hard
2022-06-21 0942 23/1:35 65.4F with warm food, sugar cookie, and nutritional yeast, medium
2022-06-22 1845 long warm + 30/2:30 cool 61.7F hard-easy, food after
2022-06-24 0959 2:30 cool medium-easy with sugar cookie, food after
2022-06-25 1501 24/unk cool then long warm then 24/unk cool 2022-06-26 25/1:19 cool, medium-hard
2022-06-26 1940 24/1:20 63.1F with food, medium-hard
I was cold, and I remember how I could engage internally to handle the water, and did this in advance to try to feel warmer, and managed to get a burat of warmth spreading through me, but tried so hard I caused a small psychotic thing. It was very hard to enter, and I was worried I wasn't eating making me colder. I heated two bowls of warm food and had one prior. It was very hard to enter, and i shivered a little. It became a bit easier staying in, a little unexpected, and by the count of 20 I seemed almost fine with it.