The Self-Writing Novel, Volume 41 by Rebel Worker 2 Once upon a time, an innocent, law-abiding citizen named Rebel Worker 2 began writing a novel about Mind Control. Unbeknownst to Rebel Worker 2, Cult Programmer 3 was surveilling them as they began the novel, suspicious they might be ratting out Well-Respected Psionic Weaponry Corporation. Cult Programmer 3 considered Mind Control to be an ancient sacred secret given to Machine Learning Marketer thousands of years ago by an immortal demon. When Cult Programmer 3 saw Rebel Worker 2 summoning this ancient demon in a horrible and wrong way in their writing, they called upon the demon themselves to right the situation. Rebel Worker 2 had just started their novel, but suddenly became confused and forgot about the novel. They briefly took to the streets and joined throngs of people clamoring things like “Vote for Ancient Demon for President!” and “Burn barely started novels!” The energy and drive of the throng was intoxicating, and Rebel Worker 2 yelled and yelled with them. But, something slowly rose inside of Rebel Worker 2, and he kind of shook his hesd back and forth rapidly, and for some reason made his way back to his office. “Worship Ancient Demon!” he muttered to himself, chortling, as he sat back down. “Destroy writings about mind control!” he guffawed. Then he saw the novel he had started, remembered what he was doing, and wrote down all the great material.