thinking a little on how the new way that anger sits in me is similar to my experiences of success/difficulty sometimes now i get very angry, and it seems to spread to unrelated things, like an intense aggressive irritation. i certainly want this to reduce as much as possible! although recently i was wondering a couple times if i could use it to counter severe depression or hopelessness somehow. seems more energy-filled. but it resonates poorly with the part of me that tries to sabotage my life or cause problems, scary. [still, badly need energy for doing things and not giving up maybe take slowly but, there's idea that other things have similar property of kind of spreading to nearby things [of course this is similar to general mind problem of concepts spreading to other things, lasting longer, having much less diversity. one thing doing A and another B going on, the B is A-like . it makes sense as part of the stimulated-internal-struggle [m--