The Self-Writing Novel, Volume 41 by Rebel Worker 2 page 3 Rebel Worker 2 was laying on a vivisection table, dressed in his Ancient Demon Orgy Robes. A microwave oven was strapped hanging from the ceiling and Cult Programmer 3 was gliding the oven over Rebel Worker 2’s head like a Zamboni[1] over ice. “Forget,” muttered Cult Programmer 3. “Please forget. Juuuuust … forget. Let all those memories drift away, like fish being released to the sea from too large a catch. Memories for me? No sirree. Forget, Ancient Demon damn you!!!!” Cult Programmer 3 then pulled over a surgery robot, and handled the controls while opening Rebel Worker 2’s skull and placing various objects in Rebel Worker 2’s brain. An iPhone, a gameboy, a shortwave radio, a copy of Microsoft Windows … Cult Programmer 3 then sealed Rebel Worker 2’s skull, leaving only a prominent antenna protruding from the top. Rebel Worker 2 was then awoken and sat in front of a viewscreen. He was flashed images of parts lf his own novel, while given very painful electric shocks that seemed to almost never end. Finally, oh god finally, an image was shown of Ancient Demon, Boss, Machine Learning Marketer, Cult Programmer 3, and Rebel Worker 2 all holding hands while burning Rebel Worker 2’s novel, and a sense of incredible euphoria overwhelmed Rebel Worker 2. He knew he had to do this. Rebel Worker 2 stumbled back to his off, blood dripping from his head, and saw his novel. There it was. He had some matches, somewhere. Everything was going to be wonderful. Then he saw the content, remembered what he was doing, and sat down to write down all the great material. 1: A Zamboni is a large driveable machine used at skating rinks. It smoothes the ice in the area it is driven, via melting and refreezing of the upper surface. Before skating events, it may be driven over every surface of ice, to make a pristine blank slate for the skaters.