Here is the secret to understanding everything. It also contains the TRUE identity of Dark Unicorn, S.Boxx, and in fact everyone on the list. Unfortunately, it is encrypted in an unbelievably complex algorithm based on the factoring of infinity. Well, here it is. Crack it if you can!

Since infinity is the product of all numbers, it was fairly easy to factor. Decrypted text appended. --- Jef o&#&o. ____ ___o\_ d| "9, ?H##""'`"'""'`""`"&o. ,M |b__o=q\ .d*" ___. ,==\\`Ho. H| `"" J* .,MT ,H$odH? dH#DqHD `&?. M| ,&' .dM*' +R96]#P `HMbHP `9b. Mi .HP .#HP' `""""' `9#. M| |H' HH `H, `b H| dP # `H, H |M JM .o 9HdH |b |M. |L MT ,o,HP M| M_ M. M M| ""HM. ,. .&"#HH MM H' T.HH `Mb &#?| `\.JM M# H| |b|M `Hb.^d| .,d#' ,H T| 9L*b. `M##o______oood#&9H" dH' |M `HL`H?. `H/H&$$??????o/?&' dM* |M. `Hb ?M#b_ `*&$P#MMMM#*$/*' ,H#' Mb HHH? `*Mb. `"#H###d*'' ,MP' MM. ?H' "HHb\ .##" TMb .dP' `"#MHbooooooooodHHM *M| ,#H' ""TM"'""""' *M| MH,.oH' .d| .M| |MMH' .H* HP TH, ,H' .dP'