[Not-News NetWork-- Mohave Desert] Aug 4/97 WHAT DOES A FIVE HUNDRED POUND GORILLA READ AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE? ------------------------------------------------------------------- - sog The "Not-News Gorilla NutWork" was rocket-launched in the Mohave Desert early yesterday morning by a rag-tag bunch of paramilitarist computer gurus who unveiled an InterNet Bill of Bytes that included the words, "MicroSoft shall make no laws..." Angered by a self-appointed council of computer industry magnates who have announced their intention to seize fascist control of the quickly burdgeoning Information Highway by controlling the definition of all information, the rebels set up a shooting range which contained a wide variety of targets ranging from copies of the Wall Street Journal to life-sized cardboard cut-outs of a hooded figure referred to only as, "a billionaire to be named later." A Che Guerva look-alike named Lefty (a nickname changed from "Lucky" after a laboratory accident took three of the fingers on his right hand) spoke openly about the group's loose-knit plans to impose their own ratings system on corporations who have "taken it upon themselves to decide what is news and what is not--what is information and what is obscenity." "We have decided on two classes of ratings." explained a tassle- haired young woman as she slid shells into a Winchester Defender sitting on her lap. "On..." she said, lifting the shotgun with one hand, then liberating the hooded head from a nearby cardboard cut-out, before turning back to say, with a Cheshire grin, "...and _off_." The wide array of luxury automobiles and high-end computer gear on display at the gathering lent credence to the claim of a quiet older man whose only comment during my presence was, "The people here probably have a combined access to more soft targets than the NSA." He turned to punctuate his statement, as many others did that day, with a volley of fire that penetrated targets carrying the corporate logos of a variety of big-name players in the computer industry. Surprisingly, the conversation consisted almost totally of issues surrounding privacy, self-determination and freedom from censorship, with hardly a word being spoken about potential plans of action of individuals or the group. As the quiet man's equally quiet wife spoke in what seemed to be a deathly whisper, telling me, "Everyone here knows what they have to do.", a man with a crude, homemade rocket-launcher sent a flaming projectile into the side of a small propane tank several hundred feet away, as if punctuating the last and most meaningful statement of the day. After quietly dispersing a few minutes later, the group packed up their weapons and climbed into their vehicles without a word between them, each seemingly going their own separate ways. I stayed on after the last of the others had left, reflecting on the fact that I had arrived at this gathering by virtue of a late-night phone call to my unlisted number, and found that I knew none of the participants in the activities. I had the strangest feeling that the others there had arrived by the same anonymous process as I had, and I wondered if they were equally mystified as to who had arranged this impromptu assembly of apparent strangers joined in a common cause. Immediately, one of the pickup trucks driving away backfired, and I thought of synchronicity, knowing that the truck would backfire once again, which it immediately did, before disappearing quietly out of sight. Climbing into my own vehicle, I took a last look at the site, which had been cleaned and left exactly the way it was when I had first arrived on the scene. I experienced a moment of deja-vue, as if I had just arrived and none of what I had experienced that day had truly transpired. Somewhere in the distance, a vehicle backfired... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Disclaimer - I am not a reporter, I am not a paramilitarist, and I am not a computer expert. I have no idea what I was doing there and I am not even certain that I should be speaking about the event...but I am. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~