Farce Virtual has discovered that some persons using the Internet are not using the names they were born with. We made this discovery in the wake of criticism of our discovery of keyboard sniffing programs, a major discovery we were able to get several reporters to write about. We consider our latest discovery to signal the imminent death of Usenet as we know it. We are taking the unusual step of announcing our discovery to the world, and in a simultaneous series of articles in major newspapers, to alert the world to our discovery. Farce Virtual provides the only reliable solution to this problem. We do not use in encryption, because many of our customers say it is too hard to understand. Instead, we rely on the oldest method in the book: fear, uncertainty, and doubt. We have invented a new term for this: FUD. ``Using the FUD Factor line of products, our customers are protected from those who are not using the names that God gave them,'' said Nathaniel Boringsternlight, Farce Virtual's chief publicist. Asked about women on the Net who are using their married names, Mr. Boringsternlight added, ``It was to deal with married women that I invented Safe-Tickle.'' No further explanation of this comment was offered. There's simply no other way to keep your sanity safe on the net. The program we have demonstrated completely undermines the sanity of all known users of the Internet. -------- Nathaniel Boringsternlight <nsb@fvh.fud> Chief Publicist, Farce Virtual Holdings FAQ & PGP key: nsb+faq@fvh.fud