On Sun, 30 Aug 1998, sboyd wrote:

Please inform me how I can get the news each day by e-mail at flashboyd@aol.com. This information will be used in my comm class.

It's really easy, but requires some work with hardware. First, you open your computer. Then you get a large sledgehammer and bash the inside of the computer thrice. WARNING: If you do it less than three times this may not work! Then, you get five liters of rubbing alcohol and pour it into the machine, wait about a minute, then stick your head about an inch from it and drop a match. Congratulations! You're in the news!