Robert Hettinga <rah@shipwright.com> writes:

At 11:55 pm -0500 on 3/25/97, Timothy C. May wrote:

...

Yes, inasmuch as I already have a Troy-Bilt chipper/shredder for disposal of the byproducts of home defense.

(Bought even before I saw "Fargo."]

Actually, what you *really* want is one of those 400-lb-flywheel jobs that the tree surgeons use to mulch big tree limbs up with. I worked behind one one summer in college. They are *indeed* impressive.

Don't forget to freeze everything before you put it in there, though. Works cleaner and faster.

Actually, there was a case a few years where a guy did exactly that with his wife, her deep-frozen and all. Only problem was the cops figured it out after they found out he had rented one of these things shortly before she disappeared. Though they didn't find anything of her after the critters in woods behind his house had their "one *tasty* burger", John Law did break the tree mulcher down and find DNA-confirmed microscopic bits of her in the machine's um, interstices... Remember, return the tools clean folks, or you don't get your deposit back.

Reminds me of the headless biker we talked about here a while ago.

This reminds me of a story that happened 5 or 6 years ago to a sovok who used to be a dentist back in Russia. He couldn't become a dentist in the U.S., so he became a stockbroker out in the midwest. He lost some money for another sovok. Sovok #2 asked sovok #1 nicely for a reimbursement, but he refused. So, he killed him and ran his body through one of those tree mulching things. They never found much of sovok #1's body. However sovok #2 was so stupid that he stole #1's Rolex watch and was seen wearing it, so he got arrested and even convicted.

Whoops! Gotta run. Time for lunch!

I *love* this list...

Just stay away from sovoks. --- Dr.Dimitri Vulis KOTM Brighton Beach Boardwalk BBS, Forest Hills, N.Y.: +1-718-261-2013, 14.4Kbps