Source Code for the Dick TruthMeasure Encryption Algorithm: (c) "The Hoff-Center of Virtual Math" ==============> |<eight inches>| + DOOM = DICK + DEATH = 2" + NULL = Nine Inch Nails ## Proof of Theorem: ## ## If she says "I want nine inches, and I want to bleed." and you give ## her two inches, four times and stab her to death, using a 6" knife, ## then 4(DICK) + 6" = 8" + 6" = Nine Inch Nails. ## ## Therefore, Nine Inch Nails band members have 14" Dicks. ## ## Basing the Private Key on Nine Inch Nails private parts, and the ## Secret Key on the secret location where the dead woman's body is ## buried, the sick, twisted creators of the "Dick TruthMeasure ## Encryption Algorithm" have produced a cryptography product which ## cannot be broken by normal people, using normal math. ## This has been confirmed by the independent research of Carol Anne ## Cypherpunk, who reports that Kent Crispin has always claimed that ## this, ================>, is eight inches, while Tim C. May claims ## this, ================>, is fourteen inches. ## Her research methods have been approved by TruthMonger, who ## states, "Give her two inches, and she takes a mile. She never ## judges an encryption algorithm until she's fucked a mile with ## your Dick in a 'rubber boot'." ## In response, Carol Anne Cypherpunk said of TruthMongers sexual ## prowess, "He claims that his Dick was the inspiration for the ## Eternity Server, but it is a forgery, like his posts to the list. ## It just _seems_ like it never ends when you are subjected to ## abuse of either of them. A mile, my ass..." <EOC> (I mean, <EOF>)