EXPERTS PREDICT END OF SECURE COMMUNICATIONS (East Bumbleton, Arkansaw) Experts from Really Neat Idea Labs have predicted the end of secure communications on the internet. The firm today announced that anyone watching another person enter a credit card on a computer could possibly get that person's credit card number. A spokesperson for RNI Labs said, "Wow man! This is like an incredible discovery, man. If you can like see someone entering their card number then you can like look at what keys they push and like get their number and like charge stuff to them. There is like no hardware or software on earth that can like prevent it." The spokesperson went on to say that the reprocussions of their discovery could lead to world-wide economic chaos, a rebirth of the third reich, and the 27th coming of Jesus Christ. In a related story, retired talk-show host Johnny Carson is under federal investigation. An anonymous tipster told authorities that Mr. Carson has been using his "Amazing Karmack" hat to guess the credit card numbers of newly mailed cards. Mr. Carson could not be reached for comment.