Dialogue - SPACE ALIENS HIDE MY DRUGS!!! _______________________________________ WAS: BASIC TRUTHS! Everyone Has A Photographic Memory...Some Don't Have Film: I've got film... Pretty Harry, a MarijuanIzen of Garberville, Humbolt County, California, was a man who paid close attention to the vagarities of life that comprised his MeatSpace environment. I was sitting with him in 'The Cellar', a local bar, one night, when an effeminate young gentleman from the BigCity came in, sat at a table in the middle of the bar, and ordered a drink. Every RedNeck in the bar cast derisive looks in the young gentleman's direction in order to impress upon him that they could do one-armed push-ups, were sexually excited only by women, and didn't cotton to young gentlemen with full, red lips drinking in 'their' bar, in 'their' town... Pretty Harry gave everyone time to get in a threatening scowl, or two, and then go back to minding their own business, forgetting about the effeminate young gentleman, and he then proceeded to walk over, grab the youth by the hair, tilt back his head, and proceed to give him a wet, sloppy kiss, with plenty of 'tongue'. Since Pretty Harry was an established member of the local social scene, those who observed the event merely barfed into their beers and continued whatever they were doing at the time, pretending that they hadn't really seen what they had really seen. This event confirmed what I had already suspected...Pretty Harry was a cool dude. Pretty Harry sat and talked with me for about twenty minutes, just long enough for those present to bury the memory of what had occurred, and then proceeded to walk over to the young gentleman's table and repeat the action which was so delightfully delicious to the effeminate young man from the BigCity, and so disgustingly depraved to the Local Yokels who could do one-armed push-ups, and were sexually excited only by women. This is when I realized that Pretty Harry was WayCool (TM)... My point is this... Pretty Harry, having proven his deep understanding of the Tao of Life, given his ability to throw a Serious Fuck (TM) into the normal progression of MeatSpace Reality, was astute enough to tell me, "I've noticed that when you come into the bars in town, you sit quietly in the corner, and watch what is going on around you. You know more about 'us' than 'we' do..." There's the Watchers...there's those Watching the Watchers...there's those Watching the Watchers Watching the Watchers... A Day Without Sunshine Is Like...Night: One thing that you will notice if you have the retained the ability to 'watch' what is happening around you in your MeatSpace environment, is that, no matter how comforting the platitudes and 'wise sayings' that society-at-large attempts to program into your subconsious, A Day Without Freedom Is Like...Slavery. If you do not understand what I am attempting to explain by the above, then it must be because I am a drug-dealing, terrorist pedophile. Diplomacy Is Saying "Nice Doggy!"...Until You Find A Rock: At the end of a song titled, "I've Been Up So Long, I Can't Get Down," on C.J. Parker's "Please! Stop Me Before I Sing Again" album, the extremely paraniod singer-songwriter says, "When you can't see THEM, you know THEY're being sly..." Since the confiscation of my computers, I have not seen a single, solitary police car during any of my trips to town. Today, however, after threatening the lives of every police officer upon the face of the earth during a conversation with my father over my 'telleveryonephone', I drove to town and could go nowhere without seeing armed police officers glaring at me from the safety of their officially marked vehicles. The dumb bastards haven't figured out that if they want to shut me up, they're going to have to use 'the rock'. Change Is Inevitable...Except From A Vending Machine: When Micro$not was the only game in town, calling their customer support numbers resulted only in a recorded message saying, "When is the last time a vending machine gave you back your money when you banged on it? Fuck Off!" Once Pepsi has signed an exclusive contract with your local high-school, your children will be subject to felony criminal charges if they bang on a vending machine that has stolen their money. Back Up My Hard Drive? How Do I Put It In Reverse?: "Never look back...something might be gaining on you." ~ That Nigger Who Could Strike Out Batters While Pitching From Second Base Satchel Paige! That's his name... He could strike me out in the batter's box at Yankee Stadium while pitching from second base at CommuninSki Park. I have grown used to losing the MeatSpace records of my life, loves and perceptive realities every time that I get mugged by desperate criminals or by self-righteous law enforcement agents enforcing what they imagine to be the laws that Hitler would put in place if he hadn't had to flee to the AdamAntArctic in order to have his body frozen until such time that the Nazi scientists welcomed with open arms by the CIA after World War II could perfect the CryptOgenics technologies that have their roots in the SuperMan Not Wearing Tights theologies of Nazi Germany. I don't look back... When Canadian Customs and the RCMP steal the digital record of my life, loves and perceptive realities, I look 'forward' to their funerals, in the Time-Space Continuum in which SPACE ALIENS HIDE MY DRUGS so that the murderous slaughter of everyone who has ever crossed my path can be justified as a valid Weight Loss Program which allows one to eat anything they want, as long as they burn off the calories in a murderous frenzy. I Just Got Lost In Thought...It Was Unfamiliar Territory: ...uuhhh......never mind... Seen It All, Done It All...Can't Remeber Most Of It: Space Aliens Hide My Drugs! Those Who Live By The Sword Get Shot By Those Who Don't:: Grass-roots activism and $ .50 will get you a cup of coffee in a greasy spoon. Canadians who peacefully protest against murderous dictators coming to Canada to participate in an Economic Summit will learn that "Money Rubs Pepper Spray In Your Eyes And Bullshit Rules!" [WAS: "Money Talks And Bullshit Walks!"] I Feel Like I'm Diagonally Parked In A Parallel Universe: I bet if I used a truck-bomb to destroy an enclave of grunt-workers involved in the murder of men, women and children who hold uncoventional religious views, I would be called a monster for individually emulating the actions of the collective. You Have A Right To Remain Silent! Anything You Say Will Be Misquoted, And Then Used Against You: The proper quotation of your statements will be released to the public after having been sealed under the guise of National Security for 50 years, at which time it will have little chance of counterbalancing a half a century of FUD programming the masses to believe that [Your Name Here] acted alone, using a Magic Bullet that officially refutes the laws of Newtonian Physics, but which is unlikely to result in your being awarded a Nobel Prize. Nothing Is Foolproof To A Sufficiently Talented Fool: This Basic Truth (TM) is the foundation to all amendments to the US Constitution, all interpretations of the Holy Word of [Your (G)(g)od's Name Here], decisions made by a hand-picked jury of the judge and the prosecutor's peers, and really good bar-pick-up lines delivered while rubbing one's private parts and drooling. All My Lies Are True...And Everything I Do, I Really Am: "Ask not who your country can Nuke for you...ask who you can Nuke for your country." ~ Timothy C. McKennedy, President of Samsonite Peripherals, Inc. While the Mayonnaise Mountain Man keeps himself busy attempting to limit the ultimate effect of the digital emissions he fires toward the InterNet--which ricochet into the minds of innocent bystanders--by ranting against the ludicrousness of engaging in 'Magical Thinking', some of those taking a direct hit to the head by his XXX Magnum Diatribes Against Established Lunacy manage to catch the HeavyLoad BulletIns with their teeth, and spit them out in a parallel dimension where a lighter atmosphere allows the citizens to wear lighter loafers with crystals where the pennies should be, and propel the conceptual spirit of the electronic missives of An Aider And Abettor Of A Terrorist Nuclear Strike To Be Named Later through electronic goalposts which are far-distant from MileHigh Electronic Stadium. Thus it is that Circle of Eunuchs Initiates, FrostBack Division, can use a John Candy movie to implant in the minds of the Sheeple the subliminal suggestion that they can take a personal hand in writing the history of Biosemiotic Evolution within the boundaries of the segment of the Time-Space Continuum they inhabit, and get to fuck the living shit out of Gena Davis. Thus it is that Circle of Eunuchs Initiate, Army of Dog Gorrilla, Son of MicroGomez can confidently proclaim Peter Jennings to be a Circle of Eunuchs Initiate, FrostBack Division, and not be in the least surprised when 'Epilogue 7.3 Rev. 1.7' of 'SPACE ALIENS HIDE MY DRUGS' rails mightily against the hypocritical ludicrousness of those sworn to 'Protect and Serve' the citizenry responding to the actions of a single dangerous driver by adding a dozen LEA dangerous drivers to the equation, and less than a week later Peter Jennings, made manifest as a Circle of Eunuchs Initiate by the simple act of declaring it to be so, slams an exclaimation mark down to provide an addendum to 'Epilogue 7.3 Rev. 1.7' by inserting a piece into 'Word News Tonight' which pointed out that: ~ One-third of those who die in high-speed police chases are 'innocent bystanders'. ~ 1,000 people a year die in high-speed police chases in California. ~ 5,300 people died last year in high-speed police chases in America. ~ State laws make it virtually impossible to sue LEAs in order to force them to face the consequences of their decisions and actions in the same manner that is required of other citizens in 'criminal' as well as in 'civil' court. The Truth, The Whole Truth, And Nothing But The Truth: During the WaterGate debacle, I was listening to a Saskatoon radio station on which a 'political expert' from Washington, DC, give his opinion of the moral and legal issues surrounding the affair and the role which President Nixon played in it. During the call-in question/opinion period, I phoned the radio station and proffered the opinion that, "If Nixon knew about the affair, then he is a criminal, and if he *didn't* know about the affair, then he is incompetent, given the fact that the crimes were committed by those in power as a direct result of his administrative decisions and choices." A few days later I was listening to a mainstream media news broadcast in which the news anchor announced that the 'current view' of 'Washington insiders' was that Nixon was either incompetent, or a criminal. The wording made it plain that the 'current view' of 'Washington insiders' was the direct result of an inastute political neophyte from ButtFuck, NoWhere, inadvertantly stumbling upon a Basic Truth (TM) which was relevant to the situation--namely, "The Buck Stops Here!" Not..."The Devil made me do it!" Not..."I was betrayed/tricked by those I trusted!" Not..."It was the result of the Messages From Mars that I received through the fillings in my teeth..." "The Buck Stops Here!" I knew that, you knew that, and everyone ensconced in the Halls of Power who were involved in putting a particular politically-motivated spin on the WaterGate affair knew that. Nobody holding a well-paying job, with medical and dental benefits, wanted to rock the boat and risk changing 'the way things are'. Nobody satisfied with the level of welfare benefits they were receiving wanted to rock the boat and risk changing 'the way things are'. There were few who refrained from recognizing and stating the obvious out of ignorance--most of us/them did so as a result of being 'bought off' by our current position in life nudging us toward accepting THE LIE in order not to put our established and manageable world-view at risk of tumbling down around us as the result of a violent assault by THE TRUTH. The comfort and safety of a world-view paridigm which was willing to accept mutually agreed-upon lies, in order to prevent the boat being rocked and subject to swamping, was ripped apart by the voice of a TruthMonger, Deep Throat Division, crying in the wilderness, to those who had 'ears to hear'. My sister was predestined to move to NewAge, California, take a Sufi name, purchase a mountain of crystals and become a feminist, anti-nuclear, yogurt-eating guru dedicated to the promotion of color-therapy as the answer to all of humankind's ills. The only reason that Charles Manson chose to have his followers slaughter Sharon Tate's Baby, instead of my sister, was because she was honest enough to admit, during the height of the Vietnam War Craze, that the young men of America were being sent to their deaths in order for her to enjoy the benefits of refridgeration which were denied to the peasants in Third World countries. "G.I. Joe died for Standard Oil's sins..." ~ A Communist Sympathizer To Be Named Later "The King has no clothes!" This is the message of the InterNet... "KNixon Knew!" This is the message of the InterNet... "A thousand points of light, censored by the New World Order!" This is the message of the InterNet... "If the dangerous, high-speed police chase is being video-taped from a helicopter following every move of the 'escaping' vehicle, then why is it necessary for the police cars to use flashing lights, sirens and the threat of armed violence to exacerbate and add to the bad judgments being exhibited by someone who has little or no chance of eluding "Three air-units." (Verbatim quote from 'World's Scariest Police Chases' which is sexually exciting me, even as we speak.)" This is the message of the InterNet... When is the last time the subject of government regulation came up in a business meeting and, when your opinion was solicited, you stated, "We have reached a point where it is morally acceptable to kill the bastards, but it is not yet feasible to do so."? When is the last time you passed this gem of wisdom from Vin Suprynowicz (Vin ThePolishKike to Zen Racists) along to fellow Netizens who did not hold the power to immediately affect your life for better or worse by deciding whether or not you would continue to receive a paycheck? This is the message of the InterNet... My WebSite was murdered by Sympatico without warning or explaination, as a result of Armed Thugs I had offended violating my inherent right to speak the Truth as I perceive it. My computers and those of my relatives were confiscated without any warning or explaination, as a result of Armed Thugs violating my right to speak the Truth as I perceive it. The 'Official RCMP Hate Page' now resides in a hidden file on dozens of Canadian government computers, thanks to the efforts of a CypherPunks list member who is willing to defend my right to free speech regardless of the fact that he has contracted a hit-man to murder me for forging posts to the list in his name which made him look like a fucking idiot. This is the message of the InterNet... The Truth, The Half-Truth, And Nothing Remotely Resembling The Truth: 'The Amazing Randi' (?) is a magician who has gone to great effort to expose Uri Geller and debunk his claims of using psychic powers to accomplish what magicians can replicate through sleight-of-hand. Did 'The Babe' *call* his legendary home-run shot by pointing to the location he was planning to bury it, or was it a 'lucky' stretch of his muscles before stepping into the batter's box? I would be the first to admit that a strong case could be made for viewing the 'hard evidence' I point to as proof of the validity of my rambling, insane conspiracy theories, as being the result of the selective presentation of Reality-Bytes filtered through sieves designed to present 'chaff' as a real substance not dependent on the existence of an imaginary 'wheat' substance whose existence is promoted by underground Reptilian Nazis hell-bent on world domination. I would also be the first to admit that 'coincidence' could account for Peter Jennings seemingly fullfilling in MeatSpace his Virtually-Assigned role as a Circle of Eunuchs Initiate member by providing the hard facts and figures substantiating the views espoused by 'Epilogue 7.3 Rev. 1.7' of 'SPACE ALIENS HIDE MY DRUGS!!!' Not to mention the fact that 'coincidence' could explain the fact that a single reference to 'Thelma & Louise' at the end of the same Epilogue was followed by references to the movie in dozens of disparate TV shows over the next few days (including an episode of '48 Hours' which showed excerpts from 'Thelma & Louise" as I was typing this very paragraph...). The fact of the matter is, however, that a lifetime of separating 'coincidence' from 'synchronicity'--through a process of objective evaluation of mathematical probability--has led me to believe that this: |<----------->| : is 8", in a parallel universe within which women have not yet been given the right to vote. Likewise, it is ludicrous to live in a universe in which it is a recognized scientific fact that the emissions of a cellular phone can affect a radio telescope a hundred kilometers distant, while disallowing the possibility that the emissions of a human mind, heart or spirit can register on a similarly designed biotechnological receptor in local or global proximity to the source of the emissions. It is equally ludicrous to fail to recognize that physically manifested and disseminated symbols representing the results of human thoughts, emotions and concepts will have an effect that is every bit as observable and predictable as laws of physics concerning inertia, impetus, velocity, acceleration and direction, etc. If a decade of scientific investigation into the mechanisms by which pigeons find their way home proves to be inconclusive, the pigeons will still manage to find their way home. If humans find themselves incapable of returning to the place they were born without having a birth-certificate and a roadmap, salmon are unlikely to abandon their natural ability to do so by virtue of a process which could be viewed as 'Magical Thinking' by those incapable of reducing the process to a solveable MeatSpace equation. NewAge 'Magical Thinking' is nothing more nor less than an esoteric extension of 'The Power of Positive Thinking' paridigm which is the foundation of all subsequent self-help, goal-oriented individual accomplishment and corporate management systems which recognize that an inspirational thought that results in a single step toward Mecca is more effective than a thousand corporate meetings discussing the feasibility or futility of putting a journey to Mecca on the agenda of the next shareholder's meeting. How To Get Even Without Breaking The Law / Sweet Revenge: I have been fucked a thousand times by the arbitrary, capricious decisions and actions of a variety of officially recognized Authoritarian Sivil Servants who didn't like my looks, my attitude, or my breath. I have also avoided being fucked several thousand times by 'shaping' my answers to their questions in a manner designed to misdirect their peckers as they tried to stick them in my butt. When the Canadian Customs & Immigration shit hit the fan, and I was forced to appear before an official Board of Inquiry convened to decide whether or not I could be denied entry into the country of my youth, I found myself forced to abandon all logic and reason, and trust in th Tao to protect me as I resorted to telling the <gulp><swallow> Truth (TM). In the face of damning evidence of my slick, conniving manipulation of rules, regulations and laws through the use of Damnable Lies!!!, I explained my theory of Variable Speed Truth (TM) to the Board of Inquiry (although I attributed it to Albert Einstein, in order to give it more credibility). I explained that, as a Border Child, I had grown up in an environment which enabled me to understand that 'Rules Is Rules...' is an extremely flexible maxim which can be interpreted by an individual Canadian Customs & Immigration OffalSir to mean that, even though you have been dating his daughter for several years and have been invited over to dinner numerous times, that he can legally deny you entry into the country and make you drive fifty miles to enter through another Customs Port if you fail to have three hundred and forty-two pieces of picture ID, particularly if you kept his daughter out past curfew the previous weekend. I also explained a variety of situations in which I had crossed the US/Canadian border more than once on the same day, and claimed residence in different countries, because I knew what each border guard wanted to hear in order to make my passage proceed more smoothly, as opposed to making my life a living hell for no apparent reason other than their own misunderstanding of the laws of the country. Although I would be the last to downplay the successful result of my appeal as being partly the result of the members of the Board of Inquiry being decent people who had retained a small part of their soul while serving the Great Beast, I fully recognize that the outcome might have been completely different if I had failed to properly play my part in the Grand Play by hanging my head in shame as my extremely expensive legal counsel pointed out to the Board of Inquiry what a sorry, pathetic loser I was, and how the only real options in this case would be to forgive my trespasses, or take me to the pound and have me put down like the poor, sick, mangy dog that I am. My point is that, regardless of the letter or spirit of the existing laws, it is up to each individual to interpret them in a manner consistent with their own best judgement, and to live with the consequences of what they truly believe to be 'right action', no matter what judgements or punishments may result from people with larger weaponry taking the opposite view. Of course, I would be foolish to pass judgement upon those who recognize the wisdom in grovelling, snivelling, and hanging one's head in shame, if it appears to be the path that will allow one to live to fight again another day...kind of like faking a limp on the way back to the huddle, in order to break for the Big Score. An Exercise For The Reader: I can no longer remember just where this rambling, semi-coherent missive was evenutally designed to end up, but I think it has something to do with the fact that my unsubtly veiled threats against those with False Smiles (TM) has resulted in the glue-sniffing progeny of A Wagon-Burner Named Earlier having had the flimsyl, fabricated assault on his Charter Rights abandoned by the dropping of all trumped-up charges against him. However, this has come at the expense of my being called down to local Gestapo Headquarters to receive paperwork indicating that I can expect to go to eventually go to prison for at least four years as a result of Baby's transgression of the 'Dog At Large' bylaws of the Town of Bienfait, Saskatchewan. Silly me...my drunken, drug-induced paranoia would have me believe that much of my current troubles stem from the fact that I am in the midst of preparing a legal defense for a Wagon-Burner whose continuing persecution by Dudley DoWrong and John Law was one of the subjects addressed in "The Official RCMP Hate Page" chapter of 'SPACE ALIENS HIDE MY DRUGS!!!', and who is being persecuted by the same Queen's Court Bench prosecutor whose ass I used to wipe the floors of the Halls of InJustice and then bragged about it to (G)(g)od And Everybody in a public forum on the InterNet. Anyway, figure out just what point I am trying to make here, consider it made, and hit the <Delete> key at your own convenience...