Clinton said this morning:

...

...

...

I want you to listen to me. I'm going to say this again. I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky. I never told anybody to lie, not a single time -- never. These allegations are false. <<<<

The question then becomes, of course, what does "sexual relations" mean?

Is it oral sex?

-Declan

It seems to be some sort of 'southern thing'. Of course a good Catholic boy from Detroit would never swallow (opps!) a sleezy end-run around the moral goal-posts of life like that. I can think of no better authority to invoke than Kinky Friedman, the immortal bard of Kerrville, Texas and notorious ring-leader of the band known as "The Texas Jewboys" ( famous for such country & western hits as "They Don't Make Jews Like Jesus Anymore", "I'm Proud To Be An Asshole From El Paso", "The Ballad of Charles Whitman", and many others - all available on his recently released CD). Hit it Kinky!... Waitret, Please, Waitret (Kinky Friedman, Major Boles, Roscoe West) Well, I pulled into Dallat on a cold December day Bought coffee and a doughnut at the Greasy Spoon Cafe, Spied me a pretty young waitret standing by her tray, But she couldnt believe her sweet young ears when the waitret heard me say: Oh, waitret, please, waitret, come sit down on my fate, Eatin aint cheatin, Lord it aint no disgrace. Oh, bring me a Lone Star, make it, make it a case Waitret, please, waitret, come sit down on my fate. Well, I walked up to the jukebox feeling kind of mean, The waitret said, Hey, stupid, thats a, thats a cigarette machine! Well, look-a here, young waitret, would you care to make a bet, And if that there aint a jukebox, you can smoke my cigarette! Oh, waitret, please, waitret, come sit down on my fate, Eatin aint cheatin, Lord it aint no disgrace. Oh, bring me a Lone Star, make it, make it a case And waitret, please, waitret, come sit down on my fate. Youre the prettiest thing in Dallat, is Dallat your home ? No, I come all the way from Houton and I feel so all alone. I used to live in Autin then I moved up to big D In hopes to get my big break on national TV. Oh, waitret, please, waitret, come sit down on my fate, Eatin aint cheatin, Lord it aint no disgrace. Oh, bring me a Lone Star, make it, make it a case Waitret, waitret, waitret, waitret, sit down on my fate. It's even funnier with the music of course. Kinky Friedman (http://www.kinkyfriedman.com) was kind of a 70's cult figure. He now writes mystery novels. According to Willie Nelson, ...the best whodunit writer to come along since Dashiell What's-his-name." As for Clinton, what can I say? What a pathetic, third-rate dickhead. Somebody flush the White House. It's starting to stink. ----------------------------------------------------------------- foggy@netisle.net lat:47d36'32" long:122d20'12" "Rather perish than hate and fear, and twice rather perish than make oneself hated and feared." -F. Nietzche- -----------------------------------------------------------------