On Thu, 27 Aug 1998, Wilhelm Klink wrote:

Top Ten Offensive Things in Unix

1. "man sex" responds with "no manual entry for sex".

SEX(1) EUNUCH Programmer's Manual SEX(1) NAME sex -- have sex SYNOPSIS sex [options] ... [username] ... DESCRIPTION sex allows the invoker to have sex with the user(s) speci- fied in the command line. If no users are specified, they are taken from the LOVERS environment variable. Options to make things more interesting are as follows: -1 masturbate -a external stimulus (aphrodisiac) option -b buggery -B animal bestiality with animal -c chocolate sauce option -C chaining option (cuffs included) (see also -m -s -W) -d file get a date with the features described in file -e exhibitionism (image sent to all machines on the net) -f foreplay option -F nasal sex with plants -i coitus interruptus (messy!) -j jacuzzi option (California sites only) -l leather option -m masochism (see -s) -M triple parallel (Menage a Trois) option -n necrophilia (if target process is not dead, program kills it) -o oral option -O parallel access (orgy) -p debug option (proposition only) 1 -m masochism (see -s) -M triple parallel (Menage a Trois) option -n necrophilia (if target process is not dead, program kills it) -o oral option -O parallel access (orgy) -p debug option (proposition only) 1 SEX(1) EUNUCH Programmer's Manual SEX(1) -P pedophilia (must specify a child process) -q quickie (wham, bam, thank you, ma'am) -s sadism (target must set -m) -S sundae option -v voyeurism (surveys the entire net) -w whipped cream option -W whips (see also -s, -C, and -m) ENVIRONMENT LOVERS is a list of default partners which will be used if none are specified in the command line. If any are specified, the values in LOVERS is ignored. FILES /usr/lib/sex/animals animals for bestiality /usr/lib/sex/blackbook possible dates /usr/lib/sex/sundaes sundae recipes /usr/lib/sex/s&m sado-masochistic equipment BUGS ^C (quit process) may leave the user very unsatisfied. ^Z (stop process) is usually quite messy. HISTORY Oldest program ever. 2