Poor little C.J. Parker will go to bed 'legal' tonight, unless some kind soul has spare Canadian WebSpace that they can bum him, in order to violate portions of the Canada Criminal Code by indulging in a pathetic, whining diatribe of self-hate and victimization. Surely there is some kind multiple-felon who is willing to give up a small portion of their own future court time in order to help a less fortunate individual with only a meager supply of pending criminal charges to sleep soundly tonight, knowing that he will not have to face the pain and humiliation that comes from being a decent, law- abiding Canadian CypherPunk. THE OFFICIAL C.J. PARKER HATE PAGE ------------------------------------------------ "His bad self-image and low self-esteem, and the knowledge that he had come by them honestly..." ~Excert from 'Space Aliens Hide My Drugs' KUDOS OF THE WEEK go to Revenue Canada Customs and Excise Thug, Bill Mitschill, who legally stole the tools of freedom used by C.J. Parker to Author chapters of a manuscript designed to kick down the doors of perception and lead to the violent overthrow of Perceived MeatSpace Reality (TM). Parker, unknown as the Author of socially deviant UCE/SPAMs such as "How To Make BIG $$$ Sitting At Home, Licking Your Own Dick!," was given a stiff dose of reality by Offal Sir MitSchill and his partner, who put on a blatant show of government disregard for the Legal and Charter Rights of its PawnIzens by not even bothering to tell Good Lies (TM) while widening Parker's asshole in preparation for the beginning of the RCMP Special Greco-Olympic Games. Congrats, Bill. A hundred points for stealing Parker's computer, and five hundred points for gathering photocopied evidence linking Parker to the biological warfare terrorists who rebelled against the King's Revenue agents by dumping terroroist tea into Boston Harbor, and then assaulted and murdered members of the King's LEAs during the lawful performance of their duties, while following proper Royalist procedure. This is a good time to remind Parker Haters (TM) across North America that, despite our long history of applying strong negative labels to him for deviating from the Norm (TM) (and even stronger electroshocks to his brain), that current social and legal trends give us plenty of leeway to ignore his Legal and Charter Rights when sticking a cold, hard one up his butt to hammer him into line with the other NailIzens. The RCMP officers of the Wild, Wild Nor'West continue to lead the way in keeping social deviants constantly on the run, no matter how far from MeatSpace they run to try to escape. You will undoubtedly remember last year's article about members of the Yorkton RCMP who planted drugs in a sting operation designed to set a transient felon visiting C.J. Parker, and then decided that Parker's unconventional lifestyle made him a perfect dupe for prosecution, when it turned out that duuhhh Mountie's ignorance of the laws they are paid to enforce precluded prosecuting the original target of their illegal sting operation. Well, Parker Haters (TM) can rest assured that C.J. Parker (aka - Toto, TruthMonger #0, #1, #709) is currently having his ass kicked back, from his mind's hiding space deep within the bowels of InterNet Free Terra, to the boundaries of MeatSpace, within which his imprisoned ass and mind can only gaze wistfully at those still living freely on the far side of the ElectroMagnetic Curtain which was slammed down around his Illegal Mind (TM) by the confiscation of his computer and the Digital Murder of his Sympatico WebSite. The Regina (can I *say* that on the InterNet?) RCMP are to be applauded for their arrogant, oppressive reminder to Parker that their willingness to lie on the witness stand, threated defense witnesses and run them out of town, as well as pile mountains of bogus charges on his head, mean that Parker's sorry ass is grass, unless he defers to the wishes of the Mounties defending the home of the AssMan, and sits his mind down in society's chair, straightens up his mind, and quits mentally fidgetting. Today's Humor: "First He came for Adam and Eve, but there were not yet any other humans on the earth, so there was nobody to speak up. "Then They came for Jane and Joe Sheeple, but they were too busy focusing on the meager piles of hay used to lure them into the feeding pen to notice the SlaughterHaus next door, so nobody bleated. "Then They came for the TruthMongers, and I was a TruthMonger, so I began eating an *enormous* amount of beans..." ~Constable TruthMonger (BigLoser Inside) (c) 1998, C.J. PARKER ("Hating myself since 1949")