************* Date: Wed, 30 Jul 1997 13:04:35 -0400 To: fight-censorship-announce@vorlon.mit.edu From: Declan McCullagh <declan@well.com> Subject: FC: Netly's Walter Miller talks crypto with President Clinton X-FC-URL: Fight-Censorship is at http://www.eff.org/~declan/fc/ ReSent-Date: Wed, 30 Jul 1997 13:12:16 -0400 (EDT) Walter Miller is Netly's roving, raving, and notoriously misspelling columnist. He's recently been keeping on top of cyber-rights issues. Not long ago, Walter Miller had brunch with the Supreme Court justices, and told them the dos and don'ts of web site design. "I also made sure to sugest that the US Supreme Court get a password- protected Intranet too -- to post stuff like cafateria specials, snow days, even forums where they coud flame eachother. Or maybe secretly play network Diablo on laptops right there on the bench during boring testimony": http://pathfinder.com/netly/editorial/0,1012,1125,00.html Then he took on the University of Memphis, which tried to wipe out a student's "Old People" site. "Sections on the site include Geezer News, (mostly newswire acounts of elderly motoring mishaps), and a humor page the likes of this: Q: What's 1,000 feet long and smells like urine? A: The conga line at Century Village": http://pathfinder.com/netly/editorial/0,1012,1196,00.html Now Walter Miller writes about encryption, and his Granfather's long history of crypto-talk with President Clinton (who apparently goes by the alias BUBBA1)... -Declan *********** http://pathfinder.com/netly/editorial/0,1012,1227,00.html The Netly News Network Walter Miller (http://pathfinder.com/netly/wmiller/) Trailer Trash on the Infobahn for the week starting July 30, 1997 An Encrypted Freindship by Walter Miller (thenetlynews@pathfinder.com) My Granfather isnt just a crankey old S.O.B. he's also a longtime F.O.B., or 'Freind Of Bill'; No, not Bill Gates--the slightley less inportant one: Bill Clinton. (The othor Bill probly HAS no freinds...Sorry, that was mean spirrited of me, and inspired out of jealousy--but atleast i can ADMIT it.) But Gramps and Bill Clinton realy ARE freinds. They met during the '72 Presidential race. Clinton was 26 and George McGovorn's Texas campaign chair. Granfather was a low-ranking precinct leador. The two were tossin back coldies one night after a rubber chicken event at a motel out onthe I-10. Eyeing 2 bellbottomed chicks at the bar, Bill winked at Gramps; he winked back, scribbling with a pen on a napkin: "YOU TAKE THE YOUNG CUTIE. ILL TAKE THE OL' UGLY ONE". Both men nodded. Unable to read Grampy's scrawl, the gals never cought on. Thus began a 25-year freindship based on encryption which contineus to this day. Well, neithor man got lucky that night, and McGovern lost Texas in a 49-state landslide. (Granfather, a conservotive Democrat, ended up votting for Nixon). But encryption has come along way since. And so has the mop-topped boy from Hope. Not only did Granps let him keep his favvorite ballpoint pen, they both kept in touch. Last week they were in toutch allot. It was about the new Encryption bill that just passed Congress. Granps suported it while the President was agianst it. They hotly discussed it by e-mail for a few days, till this mesage arrived: Return-Path: whitehouse.gov Received: from (ENCRYPTED) Message-ID: (ENCRYPTED) X-Mailer: (ENCRYPTED) MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-Trans-Encod: 7bit : From: "Bubba1" To: "Granpy" Subject: (ENCRYPTED) Date: Sun, 27 Jul 97 09:36:55 -0400 : Dear Sir: POTUS suggests e-mail is not the best forum for this discussion. Please meet POTUS tonite, 8PM, EDT in (ENCRYPTED) Chat. The regular place. : On behalf of POTUS, Your pal, : "VPOTUS" : P.S. Don't worry, POTUS tells me it won't take so long as to cut into the X-Files, which my (ENCRYPTED) sources tell me is a repeat anyway. : =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= This is my sig. tHIs iS mY SIg ON dRUGs =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Of cuorse, "POTUS" is President of the United States and 'VPOTUS' is Mr. Gore. (Just like most big inportant exetcutives in the private sector, there's always some low-level lacky handling the adminostrative end of his E-mail.) Later that evening, their convorsation contineud, but this time in chat: Granpy: YOU OUT THERE, BUBBA? Bubba1: Right here, Gramps. Sweet4U: Who else is out there? Prowler: I'm here. Whos there? Granpy: I TELL YUH, BUBBA I AIN'T GLOATING, BUT I'M GLAD ABOUT THET THAR NEW ENCRYPTION BILL. Bubba1: Well, Gramps, I did have reason to oppose it. Prowler: Hey Granpy--ALL CAPS are for SHOUTING ONLY Granpy: I AM SHOUTING Sweet4U: Bubba, age, M/F? Bubba1: Um...uh, well, Shucks... Prowler: Prowler here. (((BURP!))) Who's out there? Needless to say, this chat thread, like most, soon descended into the ininteligible drivol of a dozen voices saying nothing to no one in particulor. So Gramps and the Presidant took it private. Bubba1: Geez, that garbled chatroom drivel sounded like my last cabinet meeting. Granpy: NO WONDER REAGAN USED TO FALL ASLEEP IN HIS, HUH? Bubba1: LOL! Who needs encryption when you've got IRC chat! Granpy: LEVITY ASIDE MR. PREZ, BUT WHO NEEDS ENCRYPTION WHEN THE GOVORMINT HAS THE SOFTWARE KEYS? Bubba1: Oooh. That was cold, Granps. Yes, Granfather had hit a nerve with that one. The gist of the encryption bill was to allow US companies to export encryption technollogy. Right now America's ass is getting kicked in the world market cause we're not allowed to sell encyprtion software while foriegn competittors are alredy doing it. Mr. Clinton had opposed the bill, but would of alowed it only if the US Govorment--yes, the US Goverment was given access to the software keys to be able to crack the codes. Granpy: WHY DON'T WE ALL JUST SURRENDER OUR NET PASSWORDS, HUH? HOW 'BOUT OUR BANK ATM PASSWORDS, AND CREDIT CARD PINS? Bubba1: Come on, Gramps. I had the FBI and the DEA on my side on this, not to mention members of both parties. What about international spies? What about drug kingpins? They use encrypted technology. Uh, ecxuse me Mr. President, but spies and druglords also use the telephone and the U.S. Mail. And when you need to put badguys under survellance, you simply get a court ordor, and you do it. I have to agree with Granfather on this. And I cant help but think that mabye a little of the high-profile hand- wringing abbout encryptoin exports might be just some old fashionned low-tech fear of computers. And besides. Nothin personal, but I use my conputer for private corespondence. My browsing logs, purchasing habbits and credit card numbers are here too, and I dont want them falling into the wrong hands. Or, perhaps, falling onto the desk of some fat guy in the White House basement in charge of 'security' who no one remmemmbers hiring. Granfather relayed my concerns to the Prez. Bubba1: Is that what your grandson said? I feel his pain. Granpy: HE'LL BE FEELIN MINE ON HIS SKINNY ASS IF HE DONT GIT ME A BEER, LIKE I DONE ASKED HIM TO. Bubba1: LOL! In any case, their disagreement on this one isseu hasnt hurt Granfather's and Clinton's freindship any. Funny thing is, theyve relied on encryption to maintain it in secrecy. (A close freindship with Granfather is bound to be a politicol liability, if you think abbout it). And somhow I think the president is better at 'encryption' than he thinks--Ive ben readin in the papers about Whitewater for 5 years now: The president seems unscaithed, and I still dont know what the hell is going on. Bubba1: Do you think my loss on the encryption bill will hurt my approval rating? Granpy: YOU KIDDING? WHAT'RE YOU AT, 68 PERCENT? HELL, TWO MORE POINTS, YOU KIN START DATING AGINN, BOY. Bubba1: ROTFL! Seriously--you think this chatroom is secure? Granpy: YUP. UNLESS NEWT OR AL ARE HACKIN' IN. Bubba1: Those guys? Everything Al knows about computers he learned from his kids. And Newt still goes to Newsgroups for news. Granpy: YEH, THE NEWS IN BINARIES, I'D BETCHA. Bubba1: LOL! Hey, BTW, speaking of 'non-family fare' I accidentally erased that gross .wav file from last week. Can you send it again? Granpy: SEND IT? GIMME A MINUTE AND I'LL BE ABLE TO MAKE IT AGINN FOR YOU, LIVE. Bubba1: HAH! I'll leave you Newt's private phonemail; you can leave it for him there. Granpy: SO, BUBBA--D'YOU STILL LIKE ENCRYPTION? Bubba1: Know what, Grampy? I like privacy better. Handing over encryption keys to the government sucks. Granpy: HERE IT COMES...NOW, BUBBA, NOW Bubba1: OH! Hold that, er "thought" another second, I'll give you Newt's secret number...typing...Got a pencil? area code (202) (ENCRYPTED)... ...And this is where the convorsation seemed to end. Or at least, it was the last I got of it that wasnt garboled. ### ------------------------- Declan McCullagh Time Inc. The Netly News Network Washington Correspondent http://netlynews.com/ -------------------------------------------------------------------------- This list is public. To join fight-censorship-announce, send "subscribe fight-censorship-announce" to majordomo@vorlon.mit.edu. More information is at http://www.eff.org/~declan/fc/