$1,000,000 CypherPunk Challenge
THE ESTEVAN DETACHMENT OF THE ROYAL CANADIAN MOUNTED POLICE IS PROUD TO ANNOUNCE THE COMMENCEMENT OF THE MILLION DOLLAR CYPHERPUNK CHALLENGE! Thanks to the generous contributions of RCMP officers such as Constable Beauline, who generously offered to kick in a share of the money he extorted at gunpoint from the late TruthMonger #1, in the CoalDust Saloon, we are able to offer each of you a chance at the Grand Prize for aiding us in securing a conviction on any major criminal charge against an individual who has sullied the reputation of the Royal Canuckian Mounted Police by subjecting us to ridicule for the mountains of government resources and funds we have pissed away in our unsuccessful attempts to imprison him over the years. The sorry, scumbag piece of shit who posts to the CypherPunks mailing list under a variety of aliases, including, Toto, TruthMonger, Blanc Weber and Sameer, is known to be as big a pain in the ass to you irreverent, anarchist CypherPunks felons as he is to those of us sworn to Serve and Protect the rich and powerful from loudmouthed troublemakers who feel no shame in stepping outside the boundaries of our subservient middle-class society. CSIS, an arm of Canadian law enforcement whose manifest is to find and exploit weaknesses of character in our citizens, in order to encourage them down a path which will allow the judicial system to put enough white people in jail to keep a semblance of order amoung the Wagon-Burners who belong in the white man's prisons by virtue of their birthright, has provided the RCMP with illegally intercepted InterNet communications which lead us to believe that most of the CypherPunks are, in reality, personally resigned to the fact that Big Brother already has the game in the bag, and would recognize the benefit of helping us to hammer down, once and for all, in two quick 'chops', the 9-inch nail that rises like a Penis from the Asses every time we attempt to slap it down. Others may make you similar offers to make the $$$ Big Bucks $$$, but our offer pays monumentally greater amounts of cash than sitting at home licking your own dick... THE CHALLENGE: To support our efforts to encourage Toto down a path that will lead to enough mental and emotional pressure to overcome the beneficial effects of his current medication and result in his increasing vulnerability to the violent manifestations of his medical disability to the point where he finally 'snaps,' and strikes out in a blind rage of senseless violence that will finally allow the Canadian Justice system to incarcerate him in a place where his presence will not be an affront to normal, decent Canadians who are willing to believe that Louis Riel acted alone, as long as we allow them to continue to debate endlessly on CBC radio on how to end the never-ending debates on CBC radio, and finally take some action on what are essentially inconsequential matters. OUR PLEDGE: To continue our efforts to pressure Toto through illegal violations of his Charter Rights and to provide those who choose to participate in our assault on this particular citizen by providing information as to known vulnerabilities which can be used to exploit his weaknesses. YOUR *WINNING* ROLE: To support and encourage Toto in manifesting, to the fullest extent possible, the moral outrage that comes naturally from a lifetime of watching growing authoritarian tyranny in all aspects of Canadian society. To echo and validate the impulsive outbursts of emotional and physical violence which is endemic among those with his type of medical disability. THE KEYS TO SUCCESS: While we continue to harass Toto at every step, seeking to criminalize and socially stigmatize him for his values and beliefs, you, as a CypherPunk, can encourage him to dwell upon the injustices to which he is subjected, in the name of normality. While we continue to illegally and arrogantly confiscate his property, denying him use of the tools he uses to improve his knowledge of his medical condition, and to help maintain mental and emotional balance through creative expression and physical functionality, you, as a CypherPunk, can make a point of reminding him that even if we are forced, at some point, to cease our illegal harassment of him, that we have endless government resources available that enable us to continue harassing him as long as we desire. While we continue to pressure Toto to submit to our attempts to suppress his right to freedom of expression, you, as a CypherPunk, can point out to him the debasement and oppression that is involved in submitting to our tyranny. The key to living life comfortably, as a Sheeple, lies in avoiding undue reflection upon the lies and injustices that are part of the daily menu of a government and society geared toward the worship and furtherance of money and power. Defective humans who are incapable of hypnotically ignoring the the lies, hypocrisy and injustice around them need to be removed from society in order to ensure the efficient functioning of the more obedient Sheeple. BONUS: Any CypherPunk who is able to contribute to our efforts to the extent that enough pressure is applied to the weak points of Toto's medical condition to result in him completely snapping and blindly striking out at random against those who have no part in his persecution (as opposed to merely striking back at those who are violating his human rights) will receive a share of any royalties that may result from book and movie script sales. When encouraging Toto in viewing it as his right and duty to launch a mindless, violent assault on the world at large, keep in mind that chainsaw massacres have the potential to be big money makers in the news and entertainment media industry, and senseless slaughter of innocent children is a proven winner in maximizing audience share. Remember: Those who make peaceful revolution impossible, make violent revolution a damn profitable business.
participants (1)
-
RCMP HateMailer