Speaking of Scientology... Forwarded message:

Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny Subject: Do we face Mount St. Helens twice a day? From: wb8foz@netcom.com (David Lesher) Keywords: topical, funny, parody, computers Approved: funny@clarinet.com Message-ID: <S7ae.2a78@clarinet.com> Date: Wed, 4 Jan 95 12:20:02 EST

AP: BILL TAKES ON ORAL & JIM

Bill Gates, Incorporated announced that the Corporation has purchased a controlling interest in the Church of Scientology, effective today. The amount of the transaction was not disclosed.

A corporate spokesman reading from a prepared text called "premature" reports that the next version of the company's mainstay product, referred to as "Windows_2001" in the trade press, will incorporate an E-meter pop-up box.

The spokesman did vehemently deny that BGI had really intended to purchase the Roman Catholic Church, but had drafted the contract with Microsoft Word on a Pentium, thus causing the error.

"We got what we wanted. We see a great potential in the Church's auditing techniques, and plan to use them to investigate methods of producing more uniform structured thoughts, err, code."

BGI is privately held. RCC stock closed down 1/8, in light trading. -- Ed Carp, N7EKG Ed.Carp@linux.org, ecarp@netcom.com 801/534-8857 voicemail 801/460-1883 digital pager

Finger ecarp@netcom.com for PGP 2.5 public key an88744@anon.penet.fi ** PGP encrypted email preferred! ** "What's the use of distant travel if only to discover - you're homeless in your heart." --Basia, "Yearning"