ITALIAN dignitaries who fear being kidnapped are having microprocessor homing devices planted in their bodies so police can track them down if they are abducted.

Where can I buy one of these things for my cat? My master password is tatooed inside her upper lip. This brand new GPS system works through a metal barrier? For transport just tuck the subject in the back of an aluminum cargo truck and for long-term storage use a metal wharehouse. Contrary to popular belief there is not a technical solution for every problem. How about -well-paid- bodyguards? Ask an engineer to solve a problem you get Tom Swift and his amazing electrogenerating geodetector. Ask a politician to solve a problem you get a law. Ask a doctor to solve a problem and he'll either cut or medicate. Ask a soldier to solve a problem... And so on... I suppose ridiculous solutions are fine as long as they make money or fame for someone.