[BIENFAIT NUTLY NEWS-MongerItaville,Co1]REPORTWHORES FOR the Bienfait Nutly News spent the night in drunken, drug-crazed revelry at the home of A DANGEROUSLY CRAZED VIOLENT PSYCHO KILLER TO BE NAMED LATER, while waiting for the CoalDust Saloon to open for the day so that they could celebrate the 'Pull-It,Sir Prize' they are certain to be awarded by UNCLAD-PuN* for their contributions to the Bienfait Nutly News Special, entitled '!!!KILL THE CHILDREN!!! * Union for Naked Child Love & Death - Pedophiles und Necrophiles Bubba Rom Dos, a fictional character from 'The True Story of the InterNet' manuscripts being circulated by an underground computer cult gratefully deadicated to the memory of Jerry Garcia, rode into Bienfait on a Pink Elephant about 6 a.m., as the ninth case of beer bit the dust and the rosy pink cheeks of the sonofgomez began peeking slowly under the whore rising to meet the thick, dark fog lingering in her mind from the pill that had been slipped into her drink at bar-closing time the night before. "Onward through the Fog!" she mumbled, as she was handed her first offical bong of the same-new-day by Oat Willie. She had just a couple of hours to get home and get ready for another dreary day at the Junior-High ten KILLometers down the road, in Estevan. She saw Bubba Rom Dos slowly appearing out of the fog and wisely turned so that her butt was up against the wall she was using for balance. The drunken whord of Nutly News reportwhores, gathered from around the world for the illustrious occassion, took the appearance of Bubba, widely known as a crazed, drunken pedophile representing a long lineage of voices barfing in the wilderness, to mean that the BNN promotional announcement (cleverly disguised as a news story) was about to come to an end, and it was time to begin the serious work of actually writing the News Special, which was thus far only a vague concept consisting of ludicrous ideas thrown out at random during a series of mumbled and slurred, semi-incoherent ramblings in between hashish-induced laughing spasms, munchies attacks, and pissing contests of both a physical and conceptual nature. "I guess it's time to put in that right-square bracket." Defcon McCullagh Chainsaw informed the Author. "What the hell is it really called?" the Author asked, causing the gathered reportwhores to pause whatever they were doing and search their minds for the proper word, or wonder if it wasn't just called, 'the right-square bracket.' The attempted mental exercise was to little avail, since the MongerItaville official motto is, "It's always drunkest just before dawn." and they quickly found themselves sucked into the Grateful Void in which one realizes that the Grateful Secret Of Life is properly balancing one's drug intake and proceeds to slowly suck on a fresh beer to counter the effects of the last bong. The Author surveyed the suddenly serious somber scribes, and quiety ended the promotional announcement disguised as a news report by typing a]