INFANTOCRACY On both the state and federal level, government has become obsessed with kiddie issues By Rafael Tammariello The United,States is evolving into what can be characterized as the world's first "infantocracy" a nation whose laws, policies and political culture are captive to the perceived needs and wants of a mythical brood known as "The Children." By proxy, the United States is becoming a country ruled by "The Children" as the central government embarks on a systematic quest to circumscribe the liberties of adults in the name of shielding "The Children" from all things harmful. "The Children" are not real, fleshandblood kids who grow up to be adults, who spend the remaining 80 percent of their lives as adults and seek to enjoy the rights, privileges and prerogatives of adulthood. No. "The Children" of the infantocracy's conception are sainted, angelic beings, wideeyed, wholesome and perpetually about 7 years old, judging from the White House photo-ops. "The Children" are pure and infinitely vulnerable beings who will never grow up, never need to exerise adult choices, never light up a cigar, watch a good violent drama on TV or entertain friends over the backyard grill. The emerging infantocracy vigorously seeks to limit the range of adult activities-from free speech to driving to smoking to gun use to television viewing to Internet access to backyard cooking. These days, the business of America is certainly not the business of securing the liberty of her citizens, as the founding fathers envisioned two centuries ago. Ceaseless attacks on the Bill of Rights-launched in the name of protecting "The Children" from guns or smut or whatever-emanate from the very members of Congress sworn to defend those freedoms. The legislative and executive branches of government at the state and national levels are obsessed with kiddie issues-to the virtual exclusion of all else. What was the theme of last week's National Governor's Association confab at The Mirage? Early childhood development, replete with gurgling babies as omnipresent props. At one point, Nevada Gov. Bob Miller was practically buried in babies. A week earlier, President Clinton, surrounded by squealing infants, pushed for a tobacco surtax to finance socialized medicine for "The Children." ~ Who are these children-"The Children"-whose salvation lies in the suppression of adult freedoms and prerogatives? Consider: A comprehensive poll by Public Agenda, a New Yorkbased research firm, asked 2,000 adults to reveal their thoughts about America's youngsters. The results, published in June under the title "Kids These Days: What Americans Really Think About the Next Generation," indicate a massive vote of "no confidence" in kids. A strong majority of the adults surveyed said they perceived a disturbing upsurge in "wild, rude and frightening behavior among young people. Fully 63 percent did not believe today's kids will make the country a better place when they grow up. But "The Children" are not these children-not the illmannered youngsters in big pants with their hats on backwards, or the Beevis and Butthead clones. No, no. "The Children" are sainted, immortal beings, forever young, forever innocent, vulnerable and in need of protection from their saviors in Washington. Let's get this straight: The majority of children are good kids; children do need protection; they do need nurturing and moral direction-from their parents, not Uncle Sam. Our children are the future. But, strangely, the American infantocracy is not really, as its advocates assert, concerned about the children's future. Indeed, the infantocracy contemplates no realistic future for "The Children-that is, it ; fails to take into account the inevitable fact that childhood is a fleeting thing and that a society molded in the image of a daycare center may be hostile to adults, which the children, the real children, will soon become. When the real children become real adults, they may want to engage in those grownup activities that are being proscribed wholesale by the grim, puritanical infantocracy being built in the name of their mythical counterparts "The Children." Bill Clinton is, of course, the chief architect of the infantocracy. Every significant Clinton policy initiative-from tax credits to gun control to nuclear arms reduction-is trotted out under the banner of "The Children." But others on both the left and right assist in the creation of this odd new society. Indeed, the most recent attempt to limit adult choices in the name of "The Children" emanated from the right, in the dour personage of Utah Sen. Orrin Hatch, who sought a national ban on gambling within 10,000 feet of schools, parks and any other place "The Children" might find themselves. The Hatch initiative, which could throttle Las Vegas (a bright anomaly in the new childfixated universe) has stalled. But do not be surprised if a similar proposal arises from the national gambling commission's conservative moralists or from some of their soulmates in Congress. Then there was Republican Sen. Mark James' attempt in the Nevada Legislature to censor advertising that might offend the sensibilities of "The Children." Attacks on adultoriented material on the Internet and on television-the calls for a "voluntary ratings system" and "voluntary" selfcensorship (all under threat of federal regulation, of course)-have come from both Biblebrandishing rightists and therapeuticstate leftists. The voluntary ratings system is the initial baby step toward government-ordered infantiization of the airwaves making them safe for "The Children." The mythical "Children," you understand, will remain seven years, old forever. Unlike real children, "The Children" never' grow up and want to watch a good bloody flick on the tube. The Constitution's First Amendment provides no armor when the infantocracy deploys its SWAT teams to rescue "The Children." Witness Joe Camel, bludgeoned to death "voluntarily" by his creator as government regulators, the White House, Congress, and a legion of attorneys general grabbed, the tobacco industry's throat. In the name of saving "The Children" from Demon Tobacco, a whole group of' companies, engaged in a heavily taxed legal business have volunteered to surrender their First' Amendment right to advertise. If Clinton and his two chief tobacco advisers - Baby Doctors C. Everet Koop and David Kessler work their will, the United States will have tobacco prohibition in a few years, and that will include cigars. When Mr. Clinton's FDA reduces the amount of nicotine in cigars and cigarettes to zero, smokers will be forced to find the real smokes on the black market But the emergence of a black market and new criminal class doesn't bother Bill Clinton. As the president said in Madrid on July 9: "What is a black market ... (a) 1 percent penetration of the market, a 3 percent penetration of the market? Would we deny the FDA the right to protect 100 percent of our citizens because there might be a few blackmarket cigarettes around?'' Ah, the sainted Children. Surely, as Mr. Clinton states, banning nicotine will protect 100 percent of them, just as the prohibition of marijuana has kept them 100 percent drugfree. And, if Clinton's estimates are correct, only 500,000 to 1.5 million American adults will be converted into blackmarket criminals. We'll need some new prisons-at least 500 of them. The benevolent garb of the infantocracy conceals the mailed fist of The Enforcer. The infantocracy's jihad against the First Amendment and adultAmericans who choose to smoke is not its only display of raw force. New cleanair rules advanced by Bill Clinton and his fanatical Environmental Protection Agency also represent a vast expansion of government power over states, cities and individuals, right down to their barbecuing habits. When Mr. Clinton announced the new rules on June 25, he said: "I have approved some very strong new regulations today that will be somewhat controversial, but think kids ought to be healthy." Come ye forth and sacrifice at the altar of the sainted "Children." Under the new EPA edict, cities across the nation will be compelled to adopt and enforce policies that are designed to result in air that is virtually free of dust and manmade ozone. The ' cost of implementing the rules - that the EPA hypothesizes will marginally extend the lifespans of some kids with asthma-could, by one estimate, exceed $330 billion a year, far more than the defense budget. The Los Angeles limes points out, no technology exists that could scrub that city's air clean enough the meet the new standards. The only way to achieve compliance in cities such as L.A. (which cannot handle even the existing air quality standards) would be the adoption of draconian measures: restrictions on driving, mandated carpooling, shutting down industries, banning gaspowered lawn mowers and so on. Mr. Clinton and the EPA pooh pooh the idea that many urban areas, in their desperation to comply with Washington's dictates, will be forced to outlaw fireplaces and backyard barbecues. But cities such as Los Angeles and Denver in their struggle to meet even the extant cleanair standards-have already taken such steps; and other cities will be forced to follow suit. As the infantocracy gears up, its creators and supporters busy themselves with many other projects. Clinton has already ordered federal officers'" to affix riggerlocks on their guns at home, and he fervently yearns for national legislation requiring, hem on all firearms owned' by citizens. Said Clinton in pushing! is proposal: "We protect aspirin bottles in this country better then we protect guns from accidents by children." The Sainted Children. And, if trigger locks .'prevent' adults,: from !effectively defending their homes and their children, real children - it's just another requisite sacrifice of adult choices in the name of the mythical "Children" who are always 7 years old and who never grow up to have homes and families of their own to defend. Hand it to Yale Professor Kelly Brownell, director of the University's Center for Eating and Weight Disorders, for providing the infantocracy a focus for its next crusade. Heir Docktor Brownell has raised the alarm: The United States is wash in unhealthful, fatty foods, and kids, at the urging of bad clowns, are lured into eating them. Two weeks ago, Brownell told The Washington Times: "Junk food advertisements should be regulated, and excise taxes imposed on highfat foods, just as they are on tobacco and alcohol.... As a culture, we get upset about Joe Camel, yet we tolerate our children seeing 10,000 commercials a year that promote foods that are every bit as unhealthy." "The Children," you see, never grow up and will, never want to order a wellmarbled steak with chocolate mousse for dessert. For "The Children" remain 7 years old forever, and cherish their fruits and vegetables. Joe Camel, meet Ronald McDonald in the infantocracy's roomy dungeon. The emerging American infantocracy embraces a vision that does not include you driving to a friend's house, grilling burgers on the backyard barbecue, and enjoying a cigar afterwards in front of the fireplace. The engineers of the infantocracy are creating a society tightly fixated on stamping out all of life's little risks. It's a task undertaken at the expense of grownup things and adult choices. This new society is a strange, confining place, a place that's increasingly difficult to recognize as the land of the free or the home of the brave.