SPL -- Suspicious Persons List

Digitaltronics Corporation V.P of Human Relations: "Joe, thanks for coming in this morning. I'm sure you're busy, so I'll make this as short as possible. OK with you?" Joseph Shlubsky, Programmer: "Uh, sure." <nervously> Digitaltronics: "Joe, we have a problem. We understand that on your last two business trips you've been flagged for Special Processing at airport security. We checked, and it seems you're on the Suspicious Persons List. As you know, this causes problems for your fellow travellers (no pun intended, eh Joe <laughs>). And, Joe, it undermines the corporate image for one of our people to be on the SPL. I'm sure you see our problem?" JS: "Uh...." Digitaltronics: "Joe, we're not sure what you've been doing to get yourself put on the SPl, and we're forbidden by the Fairness in Employment Act from even asking you about your interests and affiliations, but we really can't have representatives of Digitaltronics being pulled aside for SPL processing, now can we?" JS: "But I told them I was only carrying a briefcase, and that they could search it all they wanted to, and--" Digitaltronics: "Joe, I'm sorry, but we're going to have to let you go. You know how these things are. Nothing can be done. Not our decision, when you think about it. The government has their ideas of who should be on the Suspicious Persons List, and there's just nothing we can do about it. We just can't have our corporate image linked to persons on the SPL. Now, Joe, you'll get a generous 6 weeks of severance pay, and Daphne will assist you with your outplacement processing. Of course, Joe, you will have to go through an inspection every morning until you're fully processed...there's that SPL matter, you know." <laughs> JS: "Uh..."

On Mon, 9 Sep 1996, Timothy C. May wrote:
Digitaltronics Corporation V.P of Human Relations: "Joe, thanks for coming in this morning. I'm sure you're busy, so I'll make this as short as possible. OK with you?" Suspicious Persons List, and there's just nothing we can do about it. We just can't have our corporate image linked to persons on the SPL. Now, Joe, you'll get a generous 6 weeks of severance pay, and Daphne will assist you with your outplacement processing. Of course, Joe, you will have to go through an inspection every morning until you're fully processed...there's that SPL matter, you know." <laughs> JS: "Uh..."
In this case I wouldn't bother with Mr. Bell's solution. Petro, Christopher C. petro@suba.com <prefered for any non-list stuff> snow@smoke.suba.com

snow <snow@smoke.suba.com> writes:
On Mon, 9 Sep 1996, Timothy C. May wrote:
Digitaltronics Corporation V.P of Human Relations: "Joe, thanks for coming in this morning. I'm sure you're busy, so I'll make this as short as possible. OK with you?" Suspicious Persons List, and there's just nothing we can do about it. We just can't have our corporate image linked to persons on the SPL. Now, Joe, you'll get a generous 6 weeks of severance pay, and Daphne will assist you with your outplacement processing. Of course, Joe, you will have to go through an inspection every morning until you're fully processed...there's that SPL matter, you know." <laughs> JS: "Uh..."
In this case I wouldn't bother with Mr. Bell's solution.
This reminds me of a real story when an h.r. person walked in on some bank employee and told her than she was being laid off. "And by the way the no-fee bank account you had as an employee is closed, so here's an application you have to feel for a regular account with us." He got injured. --- Dr.Dimitri Vulis KOTM Brighton Beach Boardwalk BBS, Forest Hills, N.Y.: +1-718-261-2013, 14.4Kbps
participants (3)
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dlv@bwalk.dm.com
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snow
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tcmay@got.net