[Bienfait, Saskatchewan: CNN] TIM C. MAY, CYPHERPUNKS PHILOSOPHER KING, announced earlier today that the seige of Mayonnaise Mountain by local, state, federal, and global assault teams ended peacefully when the heavily armed members of the NWO forces were knocked down with a wide variety of projectiles the size of drainplugs, ranging from lead elephant-shotgun pellets to homemade nuclear slingshot ammunition. Mr. May was pleased to announce that the scattered body parts of his assailants, "are SAFE, now." When informed by members of the news media that he could be subject to a fine of up to a hundred dollars by EPA officials for using lead shot in his elephant gun, Mr. May smiled, and said, "Well, they know where to find me."