+===========================================================================+ | Copyright 1994 by Wood-Charles Associates. All rights reserved. | | WCA News is available on the Msen Gopher. | | gopher://gopher.msen.com/11/vendor/wca | +===========================================================================+ HEADLINES FROM THE NATION'S NEWS COMPILED BY DISINFORMATION SYSTEMS EDITOR, FAIRLY N. COHERENT BATF JUMPS ON ENCRYPTION BANDWAGON WASHINGTON: THE BUREAU OF ALCOHOL, TOBACCO, AND FIREARMS (THE ONLY FEDERAL AGENCY WHOSE NAME SOUNDS LIKE A SUPPLIES LIST FOR A HIGH SCHOOL PROM) IS GETTING INTO THE ENCRYPTION MANDATE GAME WITH ITS OWN VERSION OF A TAPPABLE-MESSAGE-MANGLER. BATF IS PUSHING FOR A DESIGN CALLED THE "WACO" CHIP WHICH WOULD ALLOW ATF AGENTS TO SMASH IN THE FRONT DOOR OF YOUR SYSTEM, ERASE ALL YOUR FILES, REFORMAT YOUR DRIVES, AND SEND ABUSIVE EMAIL TO YOUR CAT. THE ADMINISTRATION'S OFFICE OF CAVING IN TO LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCIES ISSUED A STATEMENT SUPPORTING THE PROGRAM. NEW INTERNET PUBLICATIONS ON SHELVES ANN ARBOR: THE OUTPOURING OF PUBLIC INTEREST IN CONNECTIVITY HAS, PREDICTABLY, RESULTED IN A SPATE OF INTERNET BOOKS. AS YOU MIGHT EXPECT, THE FIRST CROP WERE MOSTLY INTRODUCTORY AND AIMED AT GENERAL AUDIENCES. NOW, HOWEVER, THE TITLES ARE BECOMING MORE NICHE-ORIENTED, WITH THE FOLLOWING NEW VOLUMES HITTING THE STORES NOW. THE INTERNET GUIDE FOR CATS: INCLUDES CHAPTERS ON "HOW TO SEND ONE OF YOUR OWNERS MAIL DENYING THAT THE OTHER ONE HAS REMEMBERED TO FEED YOU," "WALLOWING AROUND ON THE KEYBOARD: THE ULTIMATE ENCRYPTION SYSTEM?" AND "HOW TO TELL IF SOMEONE ON THE INTERNET REALLY _IS_ A DOG." EVERYTHING THE GOVERNOR OF MICHIGAN NEEDS TO KNOW ABOUT THE INTERNET: A LANDMARK IN NICHE MARKETING -- A BOOK AIMED AT ONE INDIVIDUAL READER. FEATURES: "GET RICH FAST! 1001 SCHEMES FOR FUNDING YOUR SCHOOL SYSTEM," AND "EVEN ON THE INTERNET, EVERYONE CAN TELL YOU'RE A MORON." LOCAL FIRM OFFERS ELECTRONIC DECOR ANN ARBOR: "SO YOU GOT THIS INFO HIGHWAY THING. SO YOU GOT PEOPLE DRIVING BY ON IT. SO WHAT YOU NEED IS SOMETHING FOR 'EM TO LOOK AT." SO SAYS THE PRESIDENT OF ZASTRONICS, INC., MAKERS OF ELECTRONIC LAWN ORNAMENTS. THE ZASTRONICS LINE FEATURES LITTLE KISSING EECS UNDERGRADS, BIG CONCRETE PARENT PROCESSES WITH A WHOLE STRING OF LITTLE CHILD PROCESSES FOLLOWING THEM AROUND, AND A LINE OF COY, PLYWOOD HOME PAGE BUTTS. "ON THE INTERNET, NO ONE CAN TELL THAT YOU'VE EATEN A TEMPEH BURGER," SAID AN OLD TOWN WAITPERSONAGE WHO CHARACTERIZED HIS PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT AS "KIND OF A SEA SHELL CITY ON THE INFO SUPERHIGHWAY." -30- ------- End of Forwarded Message