but the key was not there. Please mail me your key. Thank you.
If anyone has a constructive suggestion as to how this mail could be changed to convey more information or to be less "threatening", please mail me.
Sure, I found the above offensive. It comes across in exactly the same tone as a cop saying, "Please step away from the car." I know it's silly, but sometimes Please just isn't enough. The simple change: but the key was not there. Could you please mail me your key? Thanks. works miracles:) The tone on the rest of it was nice. You have to be careful with imperatives. They usually sound mean...even with a please at the front. Patrick _______________________________________________________________________ / These opinions are mine, and not Verity's (except by coincidence;). \ | (\ | | Patrick J. Horgan Verity Inc. \\ Have | | patrick@verity.com 1550 Plymouth Street \\ _ Sword | | Phone : (415)960-7600 Mountain View \\/ Will | | FAX : (415)960-7750 California 94303 _/\\ Travel | \___________________________________________________________\)__________/