Hey y'all, check it out! The cypherpunks better go to the movies! I just got back from True Lies, the latest Arnie flick. I recommend y'all go see it. Hollywood's managed to push the collective american button yet another time, ladies and gentlemen. Where's the "Dr. Strangelove" of the 90's when we need it? I'll make a short list: 1) Passionate Arabs driven to find there revenge through stolen Soviet nuclear weapons. 2) A "blanket order" to a vague, unknown government agency to wire tap anything they feel like. 3) Fear that, because there are no customs or controls regulating traffic between the Florida Keys and the mainland, the terrorists will be able to drive anywhere with their fancy nuclear weapon. 4) After summoning the skill to purchase a nuclear weapon, smuggle it into the United States undetected (except for the suspicions of our amazing Arnie and his crack team), and detonate one of them in the Keys, still unable to work a video camera with reliability (oh, those crazy wacko arabs! Oh the magic of Hollywood!) 5) Of course, every hacker in the audience noticed that the rich multinational zillionaire is unable to choose encryption secure enough to fend off an attack on minutes in length using computer equipment in a van! What was he using to hide his records? Enigma? 6) Oh yeah, the women are unable to do anything except talk on the phone, get into catfights, give men blowjobs, and kill people by accident. The only female villain is clever, but the screenplay is sure to point out that she has not principle other than the dollar (or yen, pound, mark, etc). This is a very male film, even without getting into that old 60's cliche about missiles being penis extensions. 7) Luckily, amid all the casual death in the name of national security and the american way, we have Arnie pointing out that "he only kills bad people." Reminds me of the time I was at the Space and Rocket Center in Huntsville, right after the Gulf War. They had a patriot missile on display, along with the wreckage of a "busted scud." A mother pointed to the missile, saying to her son, "Look, its the patriotic missile." I am not making this up. Y'all better get crackin', you clever cypherpunks. We sit here and chat about the National ID card, and argue about the best way to not pay our taxes (should I lease my car from a front, or buy it from the Mafia? What if I get a speeding ticket?). Meanwhile, the REAL MEDIA, the MOVIES, the TV, and all the other DRUGS most of America uses to ignore their surroundings are giving people the armor to fend off all the reason in the world we will ever cook up. "You can see, as the movie 'True Lies' showed, its relatively easy for a group of Arab terrorists to land in America and cruise up the coast with a nuclear weapon! Just think how easy it is for some Joe to walk on in with a kilo taped to his belly, and feed it to your kids! Worse, a whole family of Mexicans could sneak in and collect YOUR welfare check! (pregnant mother giving birth the moment she steps on American soil!" Choose whatever villain you wish for the delivery. The lefties can imagine Ronnie Boy calming us with his liquid voice. Those of other persuasions can choose Billary Klinton, promising us health and benefits. Maybe I'll imagine that guy my parents told me about... I think his name was Mixon or something like that. I doubt it'll matter who's holding the wheel. I think the car's driving itself. If anyone has a good monkeywrench, send it my way. -john. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- John Blair: <jdblair@nextsrv.cas.muohio.edu> voice: (513) 529-2961 http://phoenix.aps.muohio.edu/users/jdblair/home.html KILL YOUR Finger me for PGP key. TELEVISION Too much proximity to folly tends to make it seem normal. --Edward Abbey