Sprint TeleMap: You've been after this woman who gives you the ultimate hard-on, but she won't play. Every night you write her another letter, pouring out your heart, begging for her hand, telling her all the lucious things you'll do with her once she comes to her senses and lets you into her life. Lately you've been getting your letters back,"return to sender, no such addressee" in purple Post Office ink. But no matter, you call her number, and get the recording with her new number. You've been getting angrier lately, as she's changed her number three times now. If only she would let you into her life, you'd make wonderful music together by the moonlight- but No!, she just won't play. The anger has been building, and lately you've been taking to leaving more and more desperate messages on her answering machine. She's really getting to you now, you want to teach her a lesson, a lesson she'll never forget. You've been trying to follow her car home from work, but for some reason she's not driving the same car or taking the same route; she might even have changed jobs. Boy oh boy, you'll teach *her* a lesson, teach *her* to say No to you! You feel inside your jacket, where your .38 is carefully tucked. Yeah, teach her a lesson for sure! And lo, a Sprint payphone! You dial the 1-800 number and ask for directions... give them her last known phone number... the seconds tick by, your head whirling with the things you're going to tell her and make her plead with you.... a second or two later, the operator comes back on the line. Go right at Harbor... left at Main... two blocks down to Third, second house on the left. Aha, there we go. Thank you, operator. A warm bulge rises in your pants as you contemplate your next move. Boy are you going to teach her a lesson! This special moment brought to you by Sprint TeleMap. ,