Alright, CP's, I've got a humorous one for you. The author is Gordon McLachlan (mclachlan@cardinal.com), and the article appeared in the "Crosswired" column of May 1994 Vol. 5 No. 5 Lan Computing. Hope it gives you a chuckle. (Unofficially included below) "Cane the Internet Loons" According to University of Michigan President James Duderstadt, it was a "monstrous act." An act that "made a mockery of the values of civility we hold dear." Was it a brutal campus murder? A rape? An assault? Did they lose a football game to Ohio State? Nope. It was email with the intent to inflict great psychological injury. In early April, someone apparently ripped off a Michigan student's password and made offencive racial and ethnic slurs to several Internet Usenet newsgroups. According to a written statement by university officials, this event "offended, hurt and frightened" many faculty, staff and students. Unfortunately the Internet has no official rules, and no way to effectively punish computerized criminals such as the person who sent these hurtful messages. Underlying Internet etiquette is the realization that the net hovers somewhere between anarchy and democracy. In effect this means you can say anything you want, but if you say the wrong thing, society's only recourse is to assemble an unruly mob at your electronic doorway to burn you out. If your transgression of netiquette is severe enough, you will be pilloried in public by your fellows and sent a barrage of hate mail. If you persist in being a pain in the ass, the system administrator at your home site will be flooded with mail telling him to cut you off. In the Michigan incident, this response was insufficient. All the well-meaning hate mail from the defenders of the net was sent to the wrong guy - the poor physics major who had his password stolen. Despite rapid action by the administration to deplore the act, write an apologetic missive to post on the net, and have "various units {sponsor} community forums where we can share our concerns," there isn't much anyone can do. Well, to hell with sharing our concerns. A monstrous act deserves a monstrous response. In Singapore, they'd hunt the perpetrator down and cane him. And if caning is good enough for a kid from Ohio who vandalizes cars, its good enough for a kid from Michigan who offends sensitive network types. Luckily our opportunity is at hand. At this very moment, congress is getting tough on crime, ready to fine, imprison and kill more young men for a variety of heinous offenses against society. I hope this shocking incident is enough to wake up our legislatures before there are more drive-by shootings on the information super-highway. First of all, we need a seven-day waiting period and a thorough background check before anyone can get issued a user-ID. This would give system administrators time to find out if a user is a loon, or has been bounced off of other systems for misbehaving. To support this effort, congress should establish a national database to keep track of network offenders. A quick scan of almost any mailing list or newsgroup will reveal sociopaths who should have their access priviledges revoked. And we should never forget that network access is a priviledge and not a right. Its ironic to me that we license people to drive cars, but all you need to get on the information superhighway is a MODEM. Of course, a waiting period won't stop network terrorists from stealing other peoples passwords and firing off their Scud missives, but there is much more we can do. By making MODEM manufacturers install something like the Clipper encryption chip in every MODEM they sell, we could trace offensive messages right back to their source so the Feds could confiscate the offending hardware. Maybe we could even use our national health plan ID cards to restrict access to the info highway by requiring every terminal or PC keyboard to incorporate a magnetic card reader. Furthermore, we should require speed licensing for the use of email distribution lists. Just as we have the right to bear arms but not fully automatic weapons, there are damn few good reasons why you need to have a mailing list. If its too much trouble to type out the names of all the people you are sending mail to, youre probably sending it to too many people. Curtailing the use of mailing lists would drastically limit the impact that any maladjusted weenie could have on our delicate sensibilities. That makes it worth any minor inconvenience it might cause. In the event that these steps are insufficient, we should impose stiffer penalties on network criminals. Theft of a password should be made a federal felony with manditory hard time. With "three strikes and youre out" a third breech of netiquette should result in revocation of all network priviledges and removal of your cable TV hookup. Some bleeding hearts may argue that these measures will stifle the free exchange of ideas, but if thats what it takes to stop people from being offended, hurt and frightened, its a small price to pay. -30- <hehehe> -NS