The second Detweiler forward in 24 hrs, but I just can't help it! This is just too good! I went back to alt.privacy to see the post forwarded earlier. I found that Detweiler had posted five or six messages in a row, in reply to my kiss-off message. But I also found this gem: --Begin Forwarded Post-- --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Xref: netcom.com talk.politics.crypto:1835 alt.privacy:10671 alt.tv.mst3k:18867 Path: netcom.com!csus.edu!decwrl!nic.hookup.net!europa.eng.gtefsd.com!uunet!dige x.net!digex.net!not-for-mail From: steve-b@access.digex.net (Steve Brinich) Newsgroups: talk.politics.crypto,alt.privacy,alt.tv.mst3k Subject: Re: ancient torture techniques Followup-To: alt.tv.mst3k Date: 31 Dec 1993 12:08:18 -0500 Organization: Express Access Online Communications, Greenbelt, MD USA Lines: 354 Message-ID: <2g1ma2$htr@access.digex.net> References: <netnewsCIMtzo.42w@netcom.com> <netnewsCIpv3q.CH7@netcom.com> <Dec31.090735.79631@yuma.acns.colostate.edu> NNTP-Posting-Host: access.digex.net SCENE: Satellite of Love. Tom Servo is polishing a glass globe that looks just like his own head. Crow: Whatya doing? Tom: I'm just.... polishing up a fishbowl. I thought it'd look good here by the hexscreen (he moves over to the hexscreen and places the bowl, opening up, just under the hexscreen). What do you think? Crow: I think that's silly. First of all, there's no place to put a fishbowl there. Besides which, we don't have any fish here to put in a bowl. (Mike enters from stage right) Mike: Are you two arguing again? (Light flashes to indicate an incoming call from the Mads) Mike: Never mind; let's see what they want this time. (taps button) SCENE: Deep 13. Dr. Forrester is holding a cheap-looking mask resembling his own face. Dr. F: Hello, Matt. Mike: That's 'Mike'. Dr. F: Whatever. Anyway, it's time for your Invention Exchange, unless you need more time to set it up and want me to go first-- Mike: Well, actually no-- Dr. F: OK, I'll go first. Of course, a mad scientist in my position has his share of enemies, and some of them are a bit too tough to be beaten off directly. The next best thing is misdirection: getting them to vent their frustrations on something more... what's the word... 'expendable'. (Turns toward stage left) Oh, Frank! (Frank enters from stage left) Dr. F: I need you to model this (hands Frank the mask) (Frank puts on Dr. F mask) Dr. F: As you can see, the perfect decoy to cover my escape if things ever get too hot to handle. And now, your turn. (Mike holds a telephone with several types of bells, horns, and other noisemakers attached to it.) Mike: You're finished, then? Dr. F: That's what I just _said_. Frank: How long do I have to wear this? Dr. F: (To Frank) Until I tell you to stop! (To Mike) Well?? Mike: We all know about Caller ID, but it has one big problem: you don't see the caller's ID until you get close enough to read that little display window. My invention is a Caller ID Ringer that lets you know whether the call is worth picking up without even having to get out of the bathtub. (Cash register bell rings) Mike: See, that tells you it's one of those calls from somebody asking you for money. (Bugle call of 'Reveille' sounds) Mike: That tells you it's an Army recruiter calling. (Foghorn sounds) Mike: That means it's your boss on the line. (Poofter pops out of phone, with sound) Mike: That means a call on the party line. Dr. F: Yes, yes, I'm sure you've got a million of them, but that's all the time we have for the Invention Exchange. Now, for your experiment, I have a special treat. (grins evilly) You remember L. Detweiler, alias R. Boxx, alias about a dozen other names I can't be bothered to keep track of? Crow: I have a bad feeling about this.... Dr. F: Well, we have a rare treat: a post from him under his very own name (as far as we know). Boy, are you in for some deep hurting this time! (Movie alarm goes off) 6....5....4....3....2....1....G
talk.politics.crypto #1834 (1 + 6 more) | |-<1> Newsgroups: talk.politics.crypto,alt.privacy, | |-<1> + comp.org.eff.talk | \-[2]--[2] From: ld231782@keller.lance.colostate.edu (L. |-<1> + Detweiler) |-<1> [2] ancient torture techniques \-<1> Date: Fri Dec 31 04:07:35 EST 1993 Organization: Colorado State University, Fort Collins, CO 80523 X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.2 021193BETA PL3] Followup-To: talk.politics.crypto,alt.privacy,comp.org.eff.talk Lines: 98
(Mike and Crow enter theater) Mike: Where's Tom Servo?
Geoff Dale (plaz@netcom.com) wrote:
: > Congratulations! If you repeat anything frequently enough, : > people begin to believe it.
Crow: Repeat?? Isn't once bad enough?
: That seems to be your strategy. It doesn't work when you so consistantly : undermine your credability with rants, tho. : So stop posting and this little bit of net.history will soon be forgotten.
(Tom Servo enters theater) Crow: What took you so long? Tom: I had to finish with the... fishbowl.
Hello world, I am not proud of everything I have posted `out there' lately,
Crow: And you have so much to be not proud about!
but I am even less proud of the ugly depths and grotesque deformities
Tom: Of my terrible secret past.
I have seen in certain black corners of the Internet lately
Crow: Hey! That's "African-American corners of the Internet"!
and the apalling complacency with which you all view it. The skeletons have not only fallen out the the closet,
Mike: They had a falling out, and outed each other, and are now out of the closet.
they have danced around us and punched us all in the face.
Crow: (Muhammad Ali voice) Dance like a butterfly, sting like a bee.
My own letters on the subject are an attempt to shock you from your silent complacency and `accessorizing'.
Tom: With out lovely line of spring accessories for 1994.
What happens when trust breaks down?
Crow: (German accent) It decayz into a migzture of Uranium 235 and Plutonium 238. Very hazzardousz zubsztanzes.
What happens when people respond to their own posts?
Tom: They're schizo? Mike: Maybe they're just absent-minded.
When they misattribute writing?
Crow: OK, so they're absent-minded AND schizo.
When they don't care who is behind email addresses,
Tom: Schizo, absent-minded, and now apathetic. Mike: This is getting hard to keep track of.
or deceive others about them?
Crow: Schizo, absent-minded, apathetic, and dishonest.... Mike: Is somebody writing this down? Crow: Hey, you're the only one here with fully functional arms! Mike: (takes notepad and pencil from a pocket)
When they post multiple messages from different addresses?
Crow: As we come full circle back to schizo.
Imagine that every one of my posts came from a different address.
Tom: Not hard in this guy's case.
What is to prevent me? My honesty? My integrity?
All: NAAAAAH!
What if I am a cyberanarchist?
Mike: (jotting something on a notepad) How do you spell that? Tom & Crow: (turn to look at Mike) Mike: (tosses notebook and pencil into the air)
Would I be horrified or delighted at these embezzlements of trust?
Tom: He doesn't know how he'd react to his own actions? Crow: Jeez, enough already with the "schizo"?
By the squirming and writhing of my victims underneath my crushing onslaught?
Mike: Hey! I didn't think the Mads were sending us that kind of movies! * * *
I was reading a book about ancient torture techniques.
Tom: Like these posts.
(Actually, it was about something else, but some paragraphs on the subject crept in from obvious relevance.)
Mike: Obvious to _you_, maybe.
The Roman soldiers had invented some of the most grisly torture and execution techniques the world has ever seen, perhaps the most humiliating and heinous punishments known to man.
Crow: Throw Sandy Frank to the Romans! Tom: Lippert, too!
One that I was reading about was called `Circle of Eight'.
Crow: (pirate voice) Arrrgh, mateys! I have a sack of doubloons and Circles of Eight. Mike: I think that's PIECES of Eight. Crow: Whatever.
A blindfolded prisoner stands as Roman soldiers (enthusiastic volunteers?) circle him and take turns punching him in the face.
Mike: I think his verb tenses are about two thousand years off.
They take the blindfold off, and ask him, who hit you?
Tom: The guy with the brass knuckles?
And if the prisoner fails to name the person, the game continues, they dance in their delight, circling at a faster, more dizzying rate, and pummel harder.
Tom: On the other hand, if he _does_ correctly name the person, he wins a new 94 B.C. chariot and a year's supply of Rice-a-Roni.
What is the point of all this?
Mike: I was hoping you'd tell _us_!
I don't have a major point,
Crow: Imagine my surprise.
except to suggest that this is one of the most evil abominations of humanity I can imagine. And that it is shockingly identical to the mentality that a cyberanarchist has in hammering others with his fake email identity arsenals.
Tom: You can send an arsenal through email? Crow: What will they think of next?
Medusa is delighted to punch the blindfolded victim in the face with her dizzying circle of tentacles.
Tom: Punched with a circle of tentacles??
Guess who it is!
Crow: You already _said_ it was Medusa! The tentacles are a dead giveaway.
Ooops, you're wrong, sorry.
Crow: _I'm_ wrong?? I'm just going by what you just said!
PUNCH. What? No, N.Szabo is a real person. PUNCH. Pseudospoofing is immoral? nah. PUNCH. N.Szabo is my roommate. PUNCH. Lies are liberating. PUNCH. cypherpunks have never pseudospoofed. PUNCH. especially the leaders. PUNCH. and everything in the media is true. PUNCH. especially what we say. PUNCH. and our leaders are the greatest of all. PUNCH.
Tom: Stop it! The pain! The pain!
See the blood dripping on the ground, see the hideous disfigurement of the victim's face.
Tom: (head explodes) (Mike and Crow exit hastily, Mike carrying Tom) SCENE: Satellite of Love. Mike places Tom on a table and begins looking around frantically. Mike: Crow! Quick! Help me find a spare head for Tom Servo! We don't have much time! Crow: (exits stage left) (A second Tom Servo enters from stage right) Mike: Tom Servo! Quick! Help me find a spare head for Tom Servo! (Mike stops and does a double-take) Mike: What?!? But you're there (points to Tom Servo on table) with your head blown apart from illogic overload or something.... Tom: (chuckles) Oh, that! That's just one of the alter egos I use when I need a break from the Mads' experiments. (Light flashes to indicate an incoming call from the Mads) Tom: Quick! Get that out of here! I don't want them to find out.... (Mike pushes the remains of the other Tom Servo out of sight under the table.) SCENE: Deep 13. Frank is still wearing the Dr. Forrester mask. Dr. F is wearing an equally cheesy-looking Frank mask. Frank: Well? Mike: Frank? Are you still wearing that silly mask? (Dr. F rips off his own mask, then Frank's. Frank clutches his nose, which was pinched by Dr. F's grab). Dr. F: Oh, stop whining and push the button! (Frank keeps both hands on his nose and fumbles for the button with his elbows, hitting it after several tries). \ | / Mystery Sceince Theater 3000 and associated characters \ | / are the property of Best Brains, Inc. and used here for \|/ satirical purposes only. ----O---- /|\ This post is not meant as a personal attack upon / | \ the original author (but rather as an impersonal / | \ attack upon his ideas and level of logical argument). --------------------------------------------------------------------------- --End Forwarded Post-- _______________________________________________________________________ Geoff Dale -- Cypherpunk/Extropian -- Plastic Beethoven AnarchyPPL - Anarch (Adjudicator) ExI-Freegate Virtual Branch Head plaz@netcom.com 66 Pyramid Plaza plaz@io.com Freegate, Metaverse@io.com 7777 "Subvert the domination paradigm!"