On Sun, Jun 26, 2022, 8:56 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of
   Many <[1]gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:

     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 - i started logging publicly
     to the
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> list
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> again.
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> i
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> started
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> by just logging time spent on planning
     and
     >>>>>>> thinking about
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> it.
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> after
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> two attempts i was able to do it rather
     than
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> think
     >>>>>>> about
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> it, with
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> effort.
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-09 0456 ET: [x] 10 seconds cold
     water
     >>>>>>> after warm
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> water,
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> hard
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> 2022-06-10 1223 ET: [x] 10 seconds warm,
     10
     >>>>>>> seconds cold.
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> easy.
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> food after.
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-11 0553 [X] 10 warm 10 cold with
     food
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-11 1247 [x] 10w 10c food easy
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 0217 [x] 9w 11c food after
     medium-easy
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-12 0848 [x] 8w 13c food after
     medium-easy
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> 2022-06-12 1852 [x] long w 13c food after
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>> medium-easy
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-13 0922 [x] 8w 13c food after
     medium-hard
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >> 2022-06-13 1851 [x] long w 13c food after
     medium-hard
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> > 2022-06-14 0702 [x] medium w 13c with food
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>>
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-14 2019 [x] 8/20w 13/31c food after,
     medium-easy
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2022-06-15 0824 [x] 8+13/? c food after,
     medium-easy,
     >>>>>>> outdoors
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>>
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2022-06-15 1435 [x] 8+14/40c food after, irrational
     state of
     >>>>>>> mind,
     >>>>>>> >>>>>> indoors
     >>>>>>> >>>>>>
     >>>>>>> >>>>> 2022-06-16 1502 69F 20/1:25cold 68F food after, easy,
     indoors
     >>>>>>> >>>>>
     >>>>>>> >>>> 2022-06-17 1051 21/1:04cold 67.4F food after,
     medium-easy,
     >>>>>>> indoors
     >>>>>>> >>>>
     >>>>>>> >>> 2022-06-17 1929 unk warm, 22/1:20 cold, 58.8F, food
     after,
     >>>>>>> >>> medium,
     >>>>>>> >>> indoors
     >>>>>>> >>>
     >>>>>>> >> 2022-06-18 0921 53.7F 22/1:12 cold with food medium-hard
     >>>>>>> >>
     >>>>>>> > 2022-06-18 1653 53.7F 22/1:20 cold with hot food medium
     >>>>>>>
     >>>>>>> 2022-06-19 0736 56.4F 12/:30 cold + 22/1:15 cold with warm
     food,
     >>>>>>> medium-hard
     >>>>>>
     >>>>>>
     >>>>>>> 2022-06-20 0547 61.7F 22/1:36 with food and sugar cookie,
     hard to
     >>>>>>> start, medium to do
     >>>>>>
     >>>>>> 2022-06-20 2029 22/1:23 65.3F with warmish food, medium-hard
     >>>>>
     >>>> 2022-06-21 0942 23/1:35 65.4F with warm food, sugar cookie, and
     >>>> nutritional yeast, medium
     >>>>
     >>> 2022-06-22 1845 long warm + 30/2:30 cool 61.7F hard-easy, food
     after
     >>>
     >> 2022-06-24 0959 2:30 cool medium-easy with sugar cookie, food
     after
     >>
     > 2022-06-25 1501 24/unk cool then long warm then 24/unk cool
     2022-06-26 25/1:19 cool, medium-hard

     2022-06-26 1940 24/1:20 63.1F with food, medium-hard

     I was cold, and I remember how I could engage internally to handle
     the water, and did this in advance to try to feel warmer, and
     managed to get a burat of warmth spreading through me, but tried so
     hard I caused a small psychotic thing. It was very hard to enter,
     and I was worried I wasn't eating making me colder. I heated two
     bowls of warm food and had one prior. It was very hard to enter, and
     i shivered a little. It became a bit easier staying in, a little
     unexpected, and by the count of 20 I seemed almost fine with it.

References

   1. mailto:gmkarl@gmail.com